Marine 0-2 Spennymoor Town, Saturday 6th December 2025

Marine 0-2 Spennymoor Town, National League North, att. 1,126 (The Marine Travel Arena)

What a stadium this is! I’ve seen nothing like it. Hemmed in (literally!) on all 4 sides, there’s no space to swing a cat in this place. Indeed, space is so tight, spectators aren’t even allowed down one side. There’s dugouts, then a wall that backs onto people’s gardens.

It’s not much better opposite, as there’s one step of terracing, then the wall backing onto gardens. Still, at least there’s a roof all down this touchline, and with a crowd of just over 1,100, the ground is nearly half full yet isn’t empty anywhere. I love this place!

The bulk of the capacity lies at either end, as tall structures lie behind paddocks. Just like the good old days. And there’s some kind of unofficial segregation going on too, as visitors Spenny dominate the far end, while the Mariners ensconce themselves at this end, where you enter the ground.

Mind, Kev’s done some spadework at the turnstiles. A sign says it’s £18 in. Kev swears it’s £16.50 online and duly does the business, spending 10 minutes to save three quid for the pair of us. What amazes me is how nobody else is doing it. And when we get to the turnstile, the operator takes one look at our QR code and asks if we’ve just bought them. How can he tell!?

Just as good, there’s a swanky social club on the corner, ‘1894 Bistro and Bar’, which is accessible from both inside, and outside, the ground. Thankfully, the kiosk behind the goal hasn’t got its crap lager taps going yet and we’re stuck behind a gate as the teams come out. As the gate re-opens and we’re allowed towards the corner flag, I spy a number of fans turning the corner to avoid the footie action. I know what these lads are up to, I think, and follow.

Sure enough, we’re in the ‘1894’ and wonder of wonders, they’ve got Erdinger in tap. The Klopp effect? Less wondrous, a small noise is identified as a visitors’ goal (it was, 0-1). I blame Kev for the 10 minute hold-up, but he’s even more annoyed. He hates Spenny. Then thee barman starts whooping. The big screen reports on Everton going ahead. Nobody else remarks.

Back out in the real world, we walk the touchline, trying to dodge fans and not spill our pints. After toying with a young steward that I’d dare climb the camera gantry for a better view (or, indeed, A view), we find daylight in line with the far penalty area. Hereon there be dragons, or Spennymoor fans. ‘Pride of County Durham’ (their words). ‘Spendymore’ (Kev’s). Bankrolled to their artificially high position, never let it not be said that they’re a lower league MK Dons, buying a club (Evenwood) and supplanting their position in the (Northern) League. Plus they play in black and white stripes (though not today).

Another bonus of the Marine Travel Arena is that you can balance your beer on the perimeter fence. And we do – till one of them pesky players nearly boots a ball at us. (He’s been hearing what Kev has to say about them.) These are two teams on the edge of the play-offs, but there’s only one team in it. Spenny nail a second with a goal from a narrow angle at the home end. Could the keeper have done better? Well, he couldn’t have done worse.

And that’s it for the scoring, though Ramshaw spurns the chance of a hattrick in the second half by not connecting properly. An easier chance than the one he scored. The second one he scored. I couldn’t comment on the first one.

By now we’re in the upper tier, behind the goal, with the Spenny fans. Kev has treated me to the milkiest of teas, and after spending a minute considering whether to complain, or be British, I elect for the former. I’d have hated myself otherwise. It wouldn’t be so bad, I only rea lly wanted it to warm my hands, and it couldn’t even do that. I return to the refreshment shed to see the shutter being closed, but I WILL HAVE MY WAY and politely (honest!) explain that this tea is undrinkable and I’d like a new one. She gives me a new one, with much less milk, yet still too much milk. These northerners, eh? (Me, not her.) I like my tea to taste of...tea. Strong, not much milk.

Pre-match, we are treated to a minute’s round of applause for the remarkable Roly Howard, former Marine manager, who died this week. He was the longest serving manager in English football (1972-2005) with 1,975 games under his belt. You’d think he’d have seen out another 25, but I suspect there was a very good reason for not doing so. R.I.P. Rory.

Oh, and we went to the seaside to see the Gormleys on Crosby Beach. Marvellous!

The Damage:
£16.50 ent
£2.50 programme
£5.30 Erdinger
= £24.30

Eccleshill United 0-2 Thackley, Saturday 8th November 2025

Eccleshill United 0-2 Thackley, Northern Counties East League Premier Division, Cougar Park, att. 101

It’s my birthday weekend and the original plan was to go to Scotland. However, the weather is a little...Novembery?...so that’s off. And by now, the Super Reds have sold their 3,000 allocation away at Donny, so that’s not an option, even if I wasn’t boycotting them cos a) they still owe me a 20 quid refund from years back and b) it’s the most miserable away experience, a subbuteo stadium in a retail park a very long walk from the city centre. I study the form and I see Eccleshill are at home. I’ve been waiting all season for this, a chance to go to Cougar Park, home of the Keighley Cougars rugby league team, without having to see actual rugby league. Result! (And actually, I don’t mind rugby league.)

My initial plan was to get there early, have a look around town. Instead, I end up watching the first half of Spurs v Manure on the tellybox at home with my other half. I’d have rather have had a walk around Keighley, to be frank. And I’ve seen most of what it offers. I jump in the car and by 2:45 I’m passing the ground, but in order to park I’ve got to head down to the roundabout and double back, the dual carriageway not being conducive to parking up in the side streets to my right.

I’m outside the ground. No noise whatsoever. No PA, no nuffink. There’s an entry gate. Closed. There’s some turnstiles. Closed. Is this game on? I check Twitter and, without my glasses, am forced to squint at the screen. Eccleshill haven’t updated since this morning. Opponents Thackley though have posted their team up. This game MUST be on somewhere. Has it been moved?

I walk around the cricket club next door to Cougar Park. Looking back at the football (rugby) ground, I can see a bit of terracing but zero people, not even the heads of players warming up. I carry on into an industrial estate and see cars lining the road to the ground. I have a hunch. I bet there’s another entrance along this road. But I haven’t got my glasses. I decide I’d rather miss kick-off and be able to read, than vice versa. I go back, collect the car, come back and park right outside the industrial estate turnstiles (as they’ll be known to me).

It’s a mere six pounds to get in, but I’ve missed out on any programmes. Were there any? I’ve also missed the opening 10 minutes, though I’m slightly discombobulated, as the scoreboard says ‘35:00’. Why are they counting BACKWARDS? Who does that? So I spend most of the opening 45 having to work out how long has gone by deducting the number on the scoreboard from 45. Still, it passes the time. The game is pretty awful. The ball isn’t rolling so well (it being a rugby pitch) and conditions mean the players have trouble having a shot with any power. (This is a theory of mine. If cloudy conditions affect swing bowling in cricket, surely there must be some conditions in football which make it harder for players to get any power in a shot. That, or both sets of players are simply rubbish.)

I’ve also missed a goal. The visitors Thackley, are one up. It’s soon two, as a corner to the backpost is controlled and lashed in. How does a player have time off a corner to control a ball? How bad are Eccleshill? (A quick look at table shows Eccleshill are the higher of two midtable sides.) Thackley look way better, despite their inability to shoot from distance (see earlier).

There appears to be good away support in a sparse crowd. This would nominally be a derby, were Eccleshill playing in the suburb of Bradford they represent, but instead they’re playing 10 miles away cos the owner says they can’t afford to play in Eccleshill. I’m not sure how that works, given Cougar Park can’t be free. I chat on to their former physio who informs me the owner was hoping to pick up more support in Keighley, but without converting it to Keighley United, I don’t see what’s in it for locals, presuming they even want a football team. (Silsden is just down the road too.)

I am surprised to hear the crowd was even three figures. 101, or roughly 25 spectators for every dog in the ground (a personal record). One Thackley fan walks her dog to the end of the terrace and back a few times, but at half-time, when I fancy a wander, an officious young steward says I can’t go any further. ‘Why not?’ ‘It’s the rules.’ Ah, of course, the rules. I decide not to ask why this lady, or a bloke on the far terrace with a dog, are allowed. I know futile when I see it. Did the bloke arrive before the steward? Is he official (didn’t look it)? I’ll never know.

Thus, I am unable to complete one of the joys of non-league football (at least at this tier), walking around the perimeter of the pitch. We are allowed approximately a quarter of this covered terrace, a dozen steps or so, as well as half of the Main Stand, a steep pitched roof affair on the right hand touchline. A quarter of a quarter plus half of a quarter (there being 4 sides to a pitch) means we have 5/16 of the ground open. (Is my maths right?) Very poor. (We’ll ignore that the ground is rectangular, not square.)

Instead, I popped into the clubhouse, where one wall is tastefully adorned with pics and biogs of past Cougars’ legends. I contemplate a beer, but despite several being on tap, there’s nothing of taste. Why would anyone need both Heineken AND Amstel? Or a John Smiths, or Guinness, or two types of Strongbow. There’s everything and nothing.

Opposite the Main Stand is an open terrace of perhaps 10 steps, while the end right of the stand is also open, but slightly smaller. Do these areas even open for Cougars’ games these days? Part of the terrace is painted the colours of the rainbow too. ‘Everyone is welcome’ is scrawled everywhere. The Main Stand, meantime, is a steep and dark affair made mostly of wood. This is charming, till a middle aged committee man in short sleeves bounds up the steps to tell some lads it is prohibited to smoke. They are obviously too young, or ignorant, to know of the Bradford City fire disaster. Still, they’re not chucked out. Eccleshill need all the fans they can get.

The second half is woeful, but at least I have a magnificent view of it. You don’t get much height at this level and I am sat at the back of the stand, where I am sat on a pew, with a small counter for my hymn book / glasses case. There is the small matter of floodlights slightly obstructing the view, but with so few folk here, I have the pick of the seats. And in a way, it’s marvellous.

Happy Birthday Me!

The Damage
£6 ent
=£6