Peterborough United 1-3 BFC, Sunday 29th December 2024

‘Julie don’t care about me.’

Guess who’s back? Back again. Back again, back again, back again. Yes, all you other Geordie Als are just imitating. Did you miss me? (That’s rhetorical.) Yes, I’m back. No more skylining. No more white water rafting. No more Zorbing. No more swimming in rivers heated by geothermal energy. No more being carted around vineyards by long lost Londontykes (cheers Tickle!) No more watching whales frolicking just outside the harbour. No more worrying about sharks while swimming off deserted sandy beaches. No more being forced to hand over my backpack at the supermarket cos of the rampant shoplifting problem. (They don’t tell you THAT in the guidebook!) No more avoiding the Super Reds with the excuse that a 4am kick-off time just isn’t for me. Yes, cometh the hour, cometh the part time supporter.

I got back Xmas Day, 4 days ahead of my luggage. At a push I could’ve gone to Bolton, but tickets had to be bought by Xmas Eve, and besides, I’m not a fan of out of town characterless stadia, even if they’re down the road from me. I’d much rather drive more than twice as far to London Road. Besides, we always win at Peterboro, right? Which reminds me, I’m only going cos I want to see a Barnsley victory, something that doesn’t happen at Oakwell. This would be my 5th or 6th away victory and I’ve seen us win at Oakwell ONCE. Standard.

Nozzer and I hadn’t got tickets. They went off sale 2 days before the match, despite being online only. (Why?) However, not selling out meant tickets available on the day and who, apart from Paul and I, now possess a souvenir match ticket for the away end? That’ll be worth something one day. If by ‘something’ I mean ‘nowt’. 30 of your finest pounds. (I think it was 25 in advance). But whatthehell? Guaranteed win and all...

Being Johnny Come Latelies, our seats were down near the front. The teams are out. No Nwakali, who everyone is raving about. Surely he’d be in the team if he’s THAT good? POTY Cotter is this week’s left wing back, O’Keefe right and the back 3 is an unfamiliar (to me) Pines, MdG and McCarthy. Connell and Russell are going to tie up centre midfield, while Phillips and DVD will flit around the goalzone with Watters to occupy defenders (if not score). I think that’s the gameplan.

And for 25 minutes it works. We are all over these, and it’s only a matter of time...before we miss. Connell plays Watters clean through, and he has all the time in the world to let the keeper come out, narrow the angle, and deflect over. JUST TAKE IT EARLY MAN, BEFORE THE KEEPER SETS HIMSELF. That said, Watters impresses, unselfish off the ball runs, and holding the ball up for the others. Then someone flicks a switch and it’s all Posh. They have one chance, as Pines messes up and the break ends in a low cross and shot (incredible save from Kilip).

Half time and Londontyke bantz is how we need to haul Cotter for Gent. Apparently Cotter is holding up our attacks, which isn’t the impression we get in the ground. Cotter is just one of 5 players playing possession pentagon over that far side, and if anyone isn’t running into space when he has the ball, it’s Connell. (Let’s not also add the twice he’s played the opposition in with misplaced passes.) Clarke holds his nerve, and Cotter stays on. We and him come out like players possessed.

We are ALL OVER Posh from the outset. Pines arrows one into the corner from 10 yards just after half-time, while minutes later it’s two and this is a PEACH. We have a corner on the far side and we can see what is going to happen before it does. DKD arcs around a crowded box, losing his marker who’s stuck in traffic. We’re obviously up to something and a daisy cutter from O’Keefe is hammered home by Davis Keilor-Dunn-Davis-Keilor, whatever he’s called.

By now, we are so dominant, Clarke decides to give Cosgrove a trot out for Watters and we are waltzing to victory as Clarke lines up more subs. So it came as some surprise when the ref pointed to the spot from a Posh corner. The delivery was going nowhere, so which moron could possibly have ‘given the ref a decision to make’? He’s called McCarthy, and having seen it on telly, I’d say it’s a pen, whatever A. Jones of Sidcup says. Rank stupidity, given how in control we were. 1-2.

Again Clarke holds his nerve. On comes Gent and Nwakali for POTY and Phillips but before they can make a difference, Posh have a man sent off, straight red for a challenge on O’Keefe. Personally, I thought it was a yellow (Darren Ferguson agreed!) but I can see why it was given. From here on we run riot, personified by Jon Russell (who’d received brickbats throughout from the bloke in front) using Cosgrove as the decoy, dropping a shoulder and sidefooting the ball into the corner from 20 yards. Pure class. Cue 10 minutes of ‘it’s just like watching Brazil’ and ‘walking in a Darrell wonderland’. I know, I know. If we’d lost at Bolton and Posh, Clarke would’ve been down the job centre. Happy Xmas, Darrell! Love you!

Onwards and upwards!

*** MdG. Brought the ball out, found players with passes, imperious throughout. (We’ll ignore early doors, when he overran the ball and clattered their player.)
** Cotter. The life and soul of the party. A sublime 15 minutes helped us run away with it.
* Watters. Worked hard, ran the channels, held the ball up and found the cavalry.

Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. MdG 2= Cotter/O’Keefe/Watters

Despatches:
What’s with the latest chant?

I don’t care about Julie
Julie don’t care about me (SLAG!)
All I care about...
Is Barnsley FC

You can argue all you want about some of our minority owner’s decisions, but let’s not polish a turd: it’s blatant misogynistic abuse. The (male) MAJORITY owner doesn’t get this abuse. Why aren’t we abusing the Director Football? Isn’t he in charge of player signings? I might not be a fan of JAQ, but just because she puts her head above the parapet doesn’t mean you have to shoot at it.

More importantly, I have stood Nozzer down from navigational duties. So much for giving my phone with Google Maps on to him. No, not good enough. So he gets his own phone out and, having pootled toward the centre through the Peterborough ‘burbs, we’re now driving OUT of them and heading towards the countryside. ‘Why are we going this way?’ I ask, as we see a sign for Nene Park. ‘This is where they play, isn’t it?’ My God. Some wires appeared to have been crossed. (Didn’t Rushden and Diamonds play at Nene Park?) This is to exclude the times he said ‘I wouldn’t have gone this way’. YOU’RE MEANT TO BE TELLING ME WHICH WAY TO GO! Preferably BEFORE I get to a roundabout, a turning, etc. Anyway, f*** it. Why don’t I just drive into the city centre and take it from there? I’ve been to Posh enough times to know EXACTLY where the ground is. Plan B works a treat. (Sorry Nozzer.)

Oh, and is there a sadder sight than seeing middle aged men in a toilet at a 3rd division football ground imbibing coke? Least, I think it was coke. Could’ve been speed. Anyway, can I have some?

The players? Back to front...

Kilip made that great save, but never came out for corners. I’ve heard of players having a HEAD like a fifty pence piece, but Pines has a foot like one. He specialises in slicing a clearance, then running on to head it clear. Basically, he plays 1-2s with himself. McCarthy looked alright, save for the pen. No worse than Roberts or Earl, who I’ve not missed at all. O’Keefe was excellent, while I’m convinced with every game that passes that Phillips and DKD are the same player. Class acts who go missing but are our best chance of a goal. Russell I didn’t really notice, probably because he was doing the simple things well. Connell improved 2nd half. Oh, and you know when the game is won…cos he gives Aidan Marsh a few minutes.

Drink du jour: A very average pale ale from Charters (the pub on a boat). What happened to the Jaipur I sent Nozzer in to get?

Away: c.1,500. Not far off a sellout.

The Damage:
£30 ent
c.£31 petrol
= £61

Peterborough United 0-4 BFC, Saturday 6th October 2018

‘Four Four Two and Pottsy on the wing’

Welcome to...(where?)

Wow!  We certainly spanked the monkey that is Peterboro yesterday.  From start to finish, we were utterly, utterly, superb.  So much so we even let Davies get in on the act by giving away a penalty, just so’s he had a save to make.  I cannot remember the last time I have seen a Barnsley side so dominant throughout a match (never?).  All orchestrated by new signing ‘George Moncur’.  Who is this fella?  Pulled all the strings in midfield, comfortable in possession, drove forward, lots of give-and-gos…and an end product to boot.  Indeed, he had one saved within 2 minutes, and a couple of mins after Peter Burrow’s penalty, he’d put us one up, being Johnny-on-the-spot to a loose ball in the box.  

The Main Event.

The pen?  Extraordinary and predictable at the same time.  We spend the opening 12 mins camped in their half, when one clearance later they’re clean through.  I thought Davies took the lad out, but the ref waved play on and another Posh player crashes into Cavare.  I’m not sure Cavare could get out of the way, but there were few complaints. Up stepped former Reds’ loanee Ivan Toney to sidefoot it low and Davies made the save.  I was side-on to the goal; the shot looked a bit soft and possibly not well placed.  Has Davies ever saved a pen? I’m sure someone knows…

We TRY to give P'boro a head start...

Once we were in front, we never, ever, looked like giving it away.  Moore had an effort superbly save before he limped off while his sub, Jacob Brown, far from proving an inadequate replacement, showed mobility and intelligence on his own up front. (I say on his own, he always had at least 3 attacking midfielders up there with him, nevermind the cavalry…sorry, Cavare.)

Mr P. Burrow (and carrot).

Then we went two up.  A free kick on the apex of the box was touched to Potts who lashed it into the far corner.  What a strike.  Then I (nearly) saw one of the strangest things I’ve ever seen at a football match, and if it had come off we’d have been the laughing stock of the country for a week. Over-celebrating, the players ran toward the bench.  Carelessly, everyone was in our half, while Posh got the ball straight back to the centre spot.  It was Lindsay who spotted it, and he screamed at our players to get off the pitch to prevent Posh taking the kick quickly.  If he hadn’t, Posh were ready to lob Davies, who was 25 yards out of his goal.  Anyway, danger over, we went in two-nil and looking and feeling very smug indeed.  Would there be a reaction from Peterboro?  Would we miss Kiefer?

The teams are out.

No and no.  Within a couple of minutes, a sweet, sweet, move had Cavare coming in on the overlap to meet a low cross.  All he had to do was keep it down.  He didn’t keep it down.  But no worries, the attacks continued and having tried to Arsenal it in several times (over elaborating on the passing front instead of just concentrating on scoring), Moncur plays in Potts who hits it low into the bottom corner from 20 yards.  The game is now officially over and there was still over half an hour to go.  And for most of that half an hour, it felt like the Super Reds were happy to knock it around, one-touch passes, and just rub Peterboro and Steve Evans’ noses in it.  Lots of cries of ‘Olé’ and ‘It’s just like watching Brazil.’  Indeed, the 3^rd and 4^th goals were serenaded with ‘Easy!  Easy!’  It was a great, great, day.

Spoilt for choice on a free kick.

And just to cap it off, we did get the 4^th goal our dominance deserved; Brown coming in from the right to strike home into the far corner 1^sttime, a 3^rd division version of that famous Carlos Alberto goal for Brazil in the 1970 World Cup Final, if you will.  If we play like this every week we will p*** this division.

*** Moncur.  Ran the match. 

** Potts.  The Barnsley Paul Scholes.

* Lindsay.  Solid at the back and great awareness.

Not many of 'em left at 0-4.

Despatches:
There wasn’t anybody who had a bad game.  Cavare was up and down that wing and took no prisoners.  Pinnock made one mistake and tracked back 40 yards to win it back.  Mowatt linked up well with Moncur, while Bahre was everywhere, not giving any of their players a rest. I’m a big fan. Dougall didn’t look like he had owt to do.  I can’t remember seeing him tackle anyone, so at least he didn’t get booked this week.  And I’m happy for Ben Williams, in at left back.  He looks a better prospect than Penniless or Fryers, so let’s see if Stendal gives him a chance next week.  He did lose possession once when he was too far up field, but we were 3 up at the time and cruising.  In fact, if I have a beef, it’s recognising these players. Potts, Bahre, Williams….Thiam.  All these blonds look the same to me.  

Another fabulous turnout of Reds fans, this week filling an allocation of 1,700. Mind, Posh had a few hundred empty seats behind the goal, so I don’t quite understand why they couldn’t sell those (apparently they’d offered us more tickets, but wanted full payment, whether we sold them or not. Idiocy.)

As for our promotion credentials, I don’t know if we’re amazing, or whether P’boro played into our hands. I suspect other teams won’t give us the space Posh gave us, and certainly at Oakwell, teams will pack their defences.  But away from home, where our opposition feel they have to come out and attack, we have the chance to murder teams.  The only question is how many points we’ll get: Jonesy has a tenner on with me that we’ll get more than 85 points.  Here’s hoping!

I couldn't be much further into this stand.

Drink du jour: I love Peterborough.  After a warmer-upper in the Wetherspoons (waiting for the pub on a boat to open) we hit Charters, where I enjoyed a cloudy lager called ‘Kellerbier’ from the local Nene Valley Brewery.  Very nice.  No Jaipur this year tho. Problies for the best.

Onwards and upwards!

Away: 1,700 (sold out)

The Damage:£19 train
£26 ent
£3 prog
= £48

The Tunes:
Slowdive (Slowdive)
Big Balloon (Dutch Uncles)

Abax Stadium panorama

1st view of..err...London Road.

Some brought their flags...

I'll have a 'P' please, Bob.

..while we didn't (sellout and all; where would we put it?  Doh.

How quaint; No advertising hoardings.

Full-time.

I remember when this end had character, ie, a terrace.

The London Road terrace.

Back to Charters for a celebratory drink.

A Peterborough rooftop statue hails the Super Reds.

Peterborough United 2-1 Barnsley, Saturday 18th October 2014

‘Normal service has resumed’

Giant poppy at Kings X

Satdy matchday, missed trains, smashed vodka bottle, sleeping in on bus, lost game.  My shortest match report yet!

One of our oldies but goldies, P’boro away, was back.  Hampshire Tykes were out in force (if you can include Phil arriving later; an early bus journey was held up, the driver not being too happy about being called a c*** by a passenger.)  Even Tim had turned out, complete with 17 year old female.  Our worries re: Lucy were assuaged though: he was only pimping for his son, Jack, who this young lady apparently likes.  Odd, she seemed much more intelligent than that.

Loving a bit of tradition, we made our usual journey to the Cherry Tree – only we got waylaid and never made it.  Pompey needed the toilet and ‘ooh look!  There’s a pub on a barge!’  Even better, it was full of real ales and Krombacher Weizen.  I seem to remember a 5.9% pale ale (Jaipur?) which everyone had afterwards as well to dull the pain.

I'm swaying.  It's like I'm on a boat or summink.

Of course, the terrace is no more.  In its place has gone up another run of the mill breeze block and meccano construction which will presumably open quite soon.  In the meantime, we were allotted a chunk of the old stand to the old terrace’s right.  Decent turnout too and plenty of noise, at least till it all went wrong sometime in the second half.

The Future.  Dull dull dull.

We scored early on.  Hourihane played it out wide where Bree had all the time in the world to whip in a cross which Cole spectacularly volleyed into the net.  Then we sat back – for 75 minutes.  The midfield was overrun, the forwards never saw the ball and for a manager who got us promotion with an exciting 3-5-2 wing back formation, we stuck rigidly to 4-4-2 with Nyatanga and Bree steadfastly refusing to push up in support. 

Posh hit the post with a long shot but just as we were limping towards half time, Williams tippy-tapped the ball to them instead of clearing and BOSH, a low shot found the corner of Turnbull’s net.  Of course, plenty of Reds fans were willing to have a go at Williams, the same Reds fans who a minute earlier were bemoaning our defence for booting it long.  You can’t win.  For what it’s worth, if we’re to get back to passing ways, it will need time, effort and practice.  It won’t happen overnight.

The 2^nd 45 was one-way traffic. While Turnbull had little to do, we couldn’t get out of our half.  Ramage and Crainie marshalled the centre, while Bailey was having a great game in defensive-mid, up until the moment he got sent off.  I could see why he was given the second yellow, though equally the ref could’ve settled for the free kick.  I can’t remember the 1^st booking.

By then we were 2-1 down, a 25 yard free kick finding the top corner.  I don’t quite know how their player did it, he barely had a run up.  Being ‘lucky’ enough to be right behind it, it was in all the way.  So let’s give him his dues.  We’d have gone bananas if it was us.

Thereafter, it was damage limitation.  Turnbull pulled off a couple of great saves and we managed one attack with 10 men, but, really, it was a forlorn hope against a good Peterborough side.

If you pay enough, you can apparently have your own mascot...(sad)

*** Ramage.  Headers, tackles, interceptions.  There’s a reason Turnbull had little to do.
** Captain Fantastic.  It takes two, you know, to defend as well as we did in central defence.
* Bailey.  Covered the defence well.

Despatches:
Williams was awful, Winnall was back to his usual worst (weak) while most of us weren’t too impressed with Danny’s lack of tactical nouse.  Were we REALLY that scared of Peterborough?  Bree lost it a few times in dangerous positions (but he's young enough to learn), while Cole looked as if he could do a job if he had any support.  As for Hourihane, has he done anything since being voted Division 3 player of the month for September?

Afterwards, we found an Asda for the beer run.  And while Andy et al went on ahead to the station, I made the mistake of staying behind for Phil, who apparently doesn’t know how to use one of them there self-service tills.  Having been told off by the elderly assistant for swearing (Phil, not me), we finally got out of there.  Time was against us, and so was the fence Phil couldn’t/wouldn’t climb over…so anyway, we missed the train and Andy had the vodka, and the sausage rolls, paid for by me.  GRRRRRRR!

After afterwards, we all had beers in The Parcel Yard before Andy and I met our 1^st ever Shrewsbury fan in Mabels, before I dragged Andy for beers in Bloomsbury with some genuine Scouse Liverpool fans.  And then I fell asleep on the bus home – different bus, different random part of London to wake up in…West Norwood.  But it got worse before it got better.  As I walked along the street, what was left of the vodka (ie, most of it) jumped out of my open bag and crashed onto West Norwood high street.  Brilliant.

Oh well – at least the bus came quite quickly.  And it took my mind off the defeat for a few seconds.

The teams are paraded.