Oxford United 2-2 BFC, Tuesday 29th January 2019

‘He’s a Poundland Andy Carroll.’

The view from the car park.

I thought I’d give it a week.  Y’know, to calm down and all.  But I have have had it up to here (raises hand very high) with that keeper of ours.  At Oxford he made not one, not two, but three classic Davies errors as we all saw what an ‘all-rounder’ he is. Chuck in some s*** kicking (well, he is a bit of a sh*tkicker) and we have the bloke who is about to break the record for number of clean sheets in a Barnsley shirt.  Go figure.  (I’ll figure it; 2 division 3 promotions – here’s hoping – and a period, a long long time ago, in a galaxy, far, far away, when he was half decent.)

Anyone remember Meccano?

Major error #1 comes off a corner.  A ball arcs to the back post and Davies watches..nay, GAWPS…as their forward moves 4 yards to head the ball in from 2, while a statuesque Adam couldn’t move one yard (stretching his arm out gives him another yard). Is it this zonal defence we’ve heard so much about? Cos that might explain Davies’ unwillingness to ever move off his line for corners.  Yes, so Cavare didn’t do great with the first header, but that ball which looped back was in the air forever.  We were side on to it and saw the whole thing. Pre-corner, Ollie said ‘You watch, Al, Davies will pluck this.’  10 seconds later, the same moustachioed gentleman leant forward: ‘You were right, Al.’  (We’d had a conversation all about Davies in the car.)

A sparse home end.

Let’s be blunt, it was no more than Oxford deserved as we’d pretty much been garbage till this point, save for a cleverly worked free kick where we pulled it back for someone (Mowatt?) to scuff it to their keeper.  We thought it was Mowatt, cos it was the finish of a left footed player on his right foot, but that wouldn’t make sense, would it, playing the ball onto Mowatt’s RIGHT foot? But it would have been in keeping with the performance thus far.

Then a ball down their right.  The defence are chasing back, no danger yet…but who’s this careering 25 yards out of his goal? Why it’s Captain Calamity.  Who has NO CHANCE of getting to that ball first, so, as their striker lifts the ball over him, he turns and watches, nay GAWPS (like the rest of us; we all were on this one) as the ball floats towards goal. Is it going in? Going wide? It hits the bar.  A stock-still Davies suddenly gets the run on and hounds it back to goal while their player chases the rebound. Davies is back on his line to make the save (a point those watching on telly at home have made).  But what galls was the way he just stood and stared until the ball hit the bar.  Davies would have been first to that rebound if he’d chased back straightaway.

Pointless building a 4th side, I guess.

We scrape in at half time.  We’ll make changes, come back stronger and wake the hell up.  What happens is we continue as we were for another 25 minutes.  Oxford go two up with an absolute gift.  A hoofed clearance lands midway in our half and as Lindsay chases back, the obvious thing is to head it to the keeper.  Only Davies has hared it out again and by the time the ball comes down for Lindsay, he’s possibly too close to head it; get it slightly wrong and the ball would be past Davies for a tap-in to them.  So he attempts to shield the ball back to Davies, and somehow…somehow…their guy wraps his leg around, gets a nick and runs in to lay it into an empty net.  Our only hope is the ref gives a foul, but really, no-one is complaining (at the ref).  We see it for what it is: an absolute balls-up between keeper and centre half.  Replays show the ball to be in the box when their bloke nicks it.  Davies looks distraught.  Good.

Thereafter, Davies pulls out save after save, in particular from headers at corners.  He’s not helped by Pinnock and Lindsay, who haven’t won a header all night.  Are their blokes just TALLER?  They don’t look it.  All I can think of is this zonal marking, where their players get a run on for the jump, while ours have a standing start (see also: Luton away).  Whisper it, but Davies KEEPS US IN IT.  But it’s no use ‘keeping us in it’ when you've gifted them two goals.  We are never going to score.

The Main Stand.  Population: sparse.

Then it happens: a give and go from Brown, a low cross, a Thiam tap-in.  Where’s this quality been hiding all night?  Thiam is instantly hauled off.  That’ll teach him. The fans have woken up again and we really go at Oxford now.  20 minutes to get an equaliser and with 11 to go, Kiefer delivers.  Brown is running down the left, Kiefer is pointing where he wants it and Brown puts it on a plate. Great finish though.  The unthinkable could be on – we could win this game.  Oxford look dead on their feet, we continue to press, but we only come close once, Brown cutting inside from the left, curling one in and the keeper making a super save.  I forget who said they’d have had Brown’s babies had he bagged.  Probably all of us.

So, a draw, and as we left, it was mainly a sense of relief rather than disappointment.  We’d got away with one.  This could…should…have been a Wycombe or Shrewsbury.  Instead, it’s a point towards promotion. You can’t win ‘em all.  Not with this keeper.

In a word: goalkeeper

Onwards and upwards!

*** Brown.  Brad Potts R.I.P.  The King is dead.  Long live Browny! 
** Williams.  He may be slow, but he’s definitely improving.
* Kiefer.  For the finish.

Londontykes' MOTM:  1. Brown  2. Ben Williams  3. Moore

A sheepish goalkeeper faces the travelling hordes...

Despatches:

I knew that pre-match music was a bad omen: Republica’s ‘Let’s Get Ready To Go’ a la Sunderland (lost).  

Those Londontykes came from far and wide tonite.  Including a car full from Kentish Town (cheers, Dave).  Mind, Lord S wasn’t happy when Ollie unleashed a bag full of craft beer in the back.  Very nice it was too, wish I could name-check it.  Still, Dave should try driving around France with everyone else smoking ganja and a crate of booze on the backseat, if he wants to know ‘annoying’.  Chill, man.  But it was good to see Stu (his local game), Milton Keynes finest…Kev had made it from Way Out East…did I see Jim Armitage?  The S.H.I.T.S. had made it up from Hampshire (though the Naval One needs his eyes rubbing, giving Davies a mark) and Nozzer had been given a lift from that there Barnsley.  Shame child issues had prevented Wadd from making it, our 1^st ever visit to the three-sided middle-of-nowhere shed that is the Kassam Stadium.  How we’d have got back without a lift I know not.  A horrid, horrid, ground.  One nice / strange touch tho: Oxfrod produce a home AND away programme! (Well, home and away front cover – I did wonder why the programme had a picture of Alex Mowatt in a REDS’ shirt on the front.)  Still, it marks a remarkable turnaround for our current star player; last year he was on loan at Oxford, warming their bench.

Drink du jour: A couple of crafties behind a narked driver.

Away: 657.  Like Pompey's infamous 'crew'.About the only area of the ground with a crowd. 

The Damage:
£24 ent
£15 car hire/petrol
= £39

The Tunes:
Thinking About Myself  (Cosmic Baby)

BFC 2-1 Rochdale, Saturday 26th January 2019

‘How many Jagerbombs for t’toast?’

Welcome to ....

Christ, we made hard work of that.  Hill’s Lidl had come to Harrods, scene of previous 5 and 6 goal beatings…not to mention the 4-0 we meted out to them away this season…and at half time the talk was more of the chances of defeat than winning.  Rochdale had broken a few times, 3 on 3, but usually got so far then chose the wrong option.  Meantime, we were choosing the RIGHT options, but were failing with the pass.  It was 0-0 and the only save I remember wasa comfortable take for Davies.  Nozzer was most downbeat; ‘if they score we’ll struggle to equalise, let alone win.’

The old (new) market hall bites the dust.

Within 9 minutes his prognostication proved ill – it was one-all.  Dale went ahead when Beckenbauer (AKA Jim McNulty – remember him?) took a quick free kick for their striker to be clean through.  The pass was along the floor and went through 3 lines of Reds players, though I blame Pinnock the most.  WAKE UP!  No need to worry about Davies saving it.  I remember when we had Steele in goal and the opposition would be lucky if they scored 20% of one-on-ones.  Yeah, yeah, not his fault, I’m being harsh, I have my own agenda, etc.

Darn t'well.

Luckily, before worry truly set in, we equalised. Ben Williams made a barnstorming run to the edge of their box before being brought to an abrupt halt.  While time stood still and everyone wondered whether a free kick would be awarded, Kiefer bangs the ball into the bottom corner from 20 yards.  The ref had better not give a free kick…

This woke the (home) fans up too, as up until now Oakwell really had been my favourite Pete Namlook and Dr. Atmo album – ‘Silence’.  Anyone would think we’d rocked up expecting the team to rack up the goals against mediocre opposition.  Oh.  For a minute and a half we played with some intensity, before we slipped back into complacency and watched time slowly running out.

New friezes (well,the horizontal bits)) in the East Lower.  About time.

Then we scored.  75 mins in and Jacob Brown again shows we’ve not missed Potts by turning his defender and, instead of shooting, cleverly crosses the ball low.  Dougall’s miscontrol being his one positive contribution to the game, as he inadvertently flicks the ball up for Woodrow to volley in.  Thereafter, we waste various counter attacks as Rochdale leave space behind them.  Their keeper is even managing to hurry up a bit, now he knows they’re losing….so it was with some mirth Davies got booked for trying to timewaste (he can’t even manage that). 

'Good game Good game Good game Good game Good game'

Then, with injury time looming, an almighty scramble.  Davies has ONE thing to do, catch or punch the ball clear.  He fails magnificently and Rochdale have 3 or 4 bites at the cherry before we scramble it away.  As everyone else said, we won ugly.  It’s 3 points, you can’t win in style every game.  Make no bones, this was a big, BIG win. 

Onwards and upwards!

*** Ben Williams.  Sublime.  Didn’t put a foot wrong (apart from missing a long clearance, recovering, then slicing it).  Got forward in support, defensively sound.
** Cavare.  I had various arguments throughout the day about Dimi.  Yes, his final ball wasn’t always all that, but he had just run 50 yards with the ball (twice).  And didn’t get beaten all day by his winger.
* McGeehan.  Never flustered.

Londontykes' MOTM: 1. Ben Williams  2. Cavare  3. Brown

Some bloke who's signed and never played for Cardiff has died.

Despatches:
Davies was back to his best.  Can’t catch, can barely save and couldn’t keep a clearance on the pitch.  Lindsay was very good, including his distribution.  Pinnock passed the ball around looking classy.  Hopefully the scouts blamed him for the goal too.  Mowatt was so-so, while Brown looks better and better (by the way, I notice Potts has scored a 2^nd goal for his new club Preston).  I don’t remember Thiam doing much, though he worked hard.  Dougall came on at half time for Thiam and didn’t put a foot right.  He can’t even get out of the way of players, which was his undoing for his customary booking.  Not impressed.  The front two were very quiet – yet scored.  Imagine the damage they could do ON form.  Oh, and a lively cameo from new signing Green on the wing.  He was lightning.  Within 5 mins of coming on, he’d chased back and won the ball, put in another tackle, and skinned them down the left.  Shame he went for glory with the shot that went about 10 yards wide, but he’ll learn.

Also, big thanks to Mrs Reed taxis, there and back from Donny station.  

If you squint enough, you'll see some Dale fans.

Drink du jour: Schneiderweisse in #7, Weihenstaphaner in Kings X, vodka and orange inbetween.

Away: 334

The Damage:
£24 train
£3 prog
= £30

The Tunes:
Lunatico (Gotan Project)
Last Train to Llasa (Banco de Gaia)

East Stand pano

Pano from the Ponty (cheers Jonesy)

The Posh Seats.  Empty.

So good they named him after my cat.

The Ponty v Rochdale

How many Dale fans can you fit in a woolly hat?

Welcome to...(2)

Jordan Green.  You saw him here 1st.

AFC Wimbledon 1-4 BFC, Saturday 19th January 2019

‘S*** stand, give us a song’

Welcome to ....

Who wasn’t excited today?  A first (last?) visit to Wimbledon’s Kingsmeadow stadium and the latest away match buying frenzy from the Oakwell faithful. I think folk needed 10 away match vouchers to qualify in the initial tranche and the 700 or so tickets were soon snapped up.  Fortunately, by hook or by crook, the Londontykes were out in force, along with the S.H.I.T.S. (South Hampshire Independent Tyke Supporters), most of whom met early doors at the Albion pub in Kingston.  Despite efforts to the contrary from Google Maps, I got there.  But at least I managed to take in the full glory of Kingston, all quaint mansion houses and mock Tudor.  Or b) concrete and a swirl of main roads.  I thought Kingston was meant to be NICE?  Makes Peckham look salubrious.

Top boozer.

The ground was a 15 minute walk away and at least we had a leader in us this time, Chris’s Fulham supporting mate.  Come to see a decent team?  Anyway, a walk past the tower blocks of Kingston / Norbiton (I was told).  Felt more Millwall than Wimbledon.  Then to the ground, and let’s be honest, about as non-league as you can get.  Once the home of Kingstonian, you can’t accuse Wimbledon of hypocrisy, kicking out the former owners to make a bit of cash out of Chelsea.  There’s a piece of me with just that little bit less sympathy for Wimbledon’s ‘issues’ over the years.  (It must be 20 years since we beat the Wombles 1-0 at Selhurst Park – Mike Sheron!!! – and their fans turned their backs on the pitch in protest at the possibility of their owners selling up and moving the club out of London.)

Prepare yourselves...

Oh yes, that non-league stadium of theirs.  Once through the turnstiles, one small entrance onto the terrace, and, needing to pee, I wasn’t allowed to join my mates, as ‘the stand is full’.  To be fair, I wondered why the area of terrace near the corner flag was partitioned off  - it was an overspill area for late arrivals to stand in.  Anton and I got our flags up on some metal fencing and then settled by the corner flag.  Christ, it’s a long way to that far end, but I did see some blond fella half volley us into the lead 20 or so mins in.  Great finish.  Looked like Ben Williams, but can’t be him – left back on the right hand hand side? McGeehan?  Dunno.  Problies Cauley, cos we know he can hit a ball (EFL League One Goal of the Month for December, btw). It was Cauley.

The view from the corner.  That's the teams lining up.  Over there.

We are cruising, albeit Pinnock’s made 3 big clearing headers, as well as being on the cover a couple of times.  From one of the latter, he fouls and is rightly carded.  We are further punished when the inswinger comes in and is flicked into the net.  So easy. Either side of the goal, their keeper makes 4 outstanding saves.  Davies joins in too, tipping one over, before the Wombles nearly hit the jackpot on the stroke of half-time.  Somehow, somehow, their bloke drags it wide from about 3 yards, with Davies diving the wrong way.  I’ve still no idea how it didn’t go in.  There’s a reason they’re bottom of the league.  (Mind, despite their predicament, we are the 1^st side to hit 4 against them this season.)

Davies readies himself for action.

At half time I fought my way against the traffic to get into the stand with the others.  What a view.  I couldn’t see any of the near touchline, stripping about 10 yards off the pitch.  ‘Worst view I’ve ever had’ said one of the oldies (older than me, anyway).  All around, all I could hear was moaning.  I thought that was MY job?  You’d have thought we were getting hammered.  6 mins into the second half and their tune changed, as Mowatt, wide right, cut back onto his only foot and curled in a ball for Moore to head home.  The kind of cross, and kind of goal, we should be scoring every week with Kiefer up front. 

How to describe the away terrace?  Cosy.

Thereafter, we took the game by the boll*cks and steamrollered ‘em.  A ball ran loose on the left and Thiam rifled home yet another.  He looks a worldbeater when he doesn’t have to think about it.  Then we thought we scored a 4^th, when, in a goalmouth scramble, the ball seems to hit the net.  No goal.  The consensus is it must have been a hand which moved the net. I’ve since watched a replay of it 10 times and I think the ball AND a hand hits the net.  Good job we’re so far down the leagues we don’t have a goal decision system!  (We do: it’s called a ref and linesman.)

'I've got a shed....as big as this.'

Luckily, it makes no odds.  McGeehan (back home whence he came) strokes the ball in after Thiam’s cross is half-cleared.  The former is making a habit of this, casually strolling into the box at exactly the right time (as opposed to steaming in and hoping for the best).  I really like him.  4-1 to the Super Reds, a 20+ pass move amid chants of ‘It’s just like watching Brazil’…and a return to the good old (recent) days with a few rounds of ‘Adam Hammill is a red’. He’s only gone and equalised on his debut against Sunderland.  I knew he could make a difference for us this season!

Onwards and upwards!

*** McGeehan.  Flits about midfield with his mate Mowatt, running the show. 

** Pinnock.  Another imperious effort, though not needed for the 2^nd half.

* Mowatt.  Another goal created, another confident performance.

Londontykes' MOTM: 1. McGeehan  2. Mowatt  3. Thiam

Note nets over stand (for Thiam?)

Despatches:

I knew we’d win when I got into the ground and they were playing ‘The boys are back in town’.  I used to enjoy it at Oakwell hearing that at full-time.  You knew we’d won.  Why don’t we play it anymore? It’s the one change I’d make at Oakwell, now we have working hand dryers.
Davies caught and kicked well and made A save.  Williams had another promising game at left back (though booked and later taken off as a precaution).  Cavare looked comfortable, without being marauding.  I never noticed Lindsay, aside to say he was NOT giving the ball away.  I was a bit surprised to see Pinnock doing all the heading 1^st half tho.  The midfield excelled again. Brown looks a ready-made replacement for Potts (haven’t we done well?) and the ‘442 with Pottsy on the wing’ was changed to ‘Browny’.  Dougall came on for 20 minutes and shored things up, but we’d won it by then.  Nearly forgot: Thiam.  A decent attacking prospect on the left.  Appeared to beat his man with ease, scored another blistering effort…then proceeded to hit anything but the barn door.  I’ve come to the conclusion that if he scores, we should take him off straightaway.  (I know, I know, my other idea is to not play him in the 1^st place.)  Cauley got himself taken off just before half-time.  Worrying when you can’t even make it to the break…hopefully it’s not serious.  Great finish for his goal.  Kiefer?  An enigma today.  I thought it was one of the worst games I’ve seen him play.  Control suspect, vision non-existent (missing a chance to play someone in by holding it too long).  Good job he scored.  Taken off soon after his inability to pass the ball, Stendal was apparently seething.

'Ohhhh Michael Van Gerwen'

Drink du jour: East London brewed wheat beer (I forget the make).  Tasted like a cross between normal normal lager and wheat beer, ie, not as nice as the stuff Johnny Foreigner brews.  And talking of Johnny Foreigner, howthehell did I end up in a conversation pre-match with a Barnsley Brexiteer.  You don’t know how much I had to bite my lip…

Away: 700 and some (capacity).  About 74 seated.  How the f*** can a league team offer 70 odd seats to visitors???

The Damage:
£17 ent
£3 prog
= £20…and whatever a day travelcard amounts to from zones 2-6.

The Tunes:
30 Something (Carter USM)
Music for the Jilted Generation (The Prodigy)
Ou est la maison du fromage? (John Cooper Clarke)

ps, it would have been my mum’s birthday on Friday.  She’d have been 65 and been able to call herself a pensioner.  Enjoy life while you can.

Kingsmeadow panorama

Match action

Later arrivals bag the best perch.  Well done Courthouse Reds!

Watching them...watching us...watch the action.

A disappointed Cauley leaves early.

Necks craned for a slightly less s*** view.

Big Brother is watching US.