Ashington 4-0 Whickham, Saturday 4th September 2021

Ashington 4-0 Whickham Town, Northern League Division 1, DWMedia Stadium (Woodhorn Lane), att. 336

My original plan today had been to cross the Pennines and go and see Workington at Brough Park. After all, how many former football league grounds are left, still in use? Not many outside the National League, I venture. Another possibility had been Hereford United; I could have gone on local side Spennymoor’s supporters coach. Unfortunately, caring duties ruled this one out, too early a start and too late a finish. But Workington? However, I’d not banked on the cat refusing to come back in, so time lost meant I’d be struggling for kick-off, and I didn’t want to risk traffic problems on a road heading towards the Lake District. It called for a Plan B.

I double-checked the Northern League fixtures, and plumped for Ashington, the northern most outpost of the Northern League. Being an hour away from home and the other side of Newcastle, it could be a mission in midweek. Let’s take it easy, cruise up the A68 through the North Pennines and perhaps pick up a bite to eat in Ashington town centre. I pulled up at a service station near Ashington – it was half-two! The Gods were smiling though, as it included a Greggs; I went double: steak bake AND sausage roll.

Ashington have a long and rich heritage, formed in 1883 and past members of the Football League in the 1920s. After bouncing around various leagues afterwards, Ashington joined the Northern League in 1970 and have successfully failed to win it ever since (though they do have a couple of second division championships). At present they lie top half and have the added advantage of the 3rd highest average crowd (the programme told me). Today the attendance was 336…below the Colliers’ 400 average, but still well above the usual Northern League gate.

Ashington’s ground is one of those newbuilds on the edge of town (see also: Bishop Auckland, Consett). Handy for getting in and out, plus they’ve a massive car park. Worrying signs about pay and display were assuaged…it was free on matchday. Joining the 21st century, you can also pay by card on Ashington’s turnstiles. £7 is at the top end of Northern League admission charges, but you enjoy superb facilities and view from the Main Stand, allegedly the 2nd most expensive stand per seat until Arsenal’s Emirates came along. At the top/back is a large social club overlooking the pitch, a la Dulwich Hamlet. The bar might not be so big, nor contain quite the number of craft ales, but I couldn’t resist having a Goose Island IPA. Perfect for taking my seat with.

Sitting at the back of the stand affords a great view of the pitch and stadium. Opposite, a small stand spans the length of the pitch, 4 rows of seats in the middle, with terracing either side, smartly painted in the club’s colours of black and white. Both ends were enclosed by wooden fences, with ballboys swinging off the nets and barrier at one end, while a dozen or so fans viewed from the car park end. Inbetween this end and the Main Stand were 6 or so picnic tables. A lovely perch for a beer on a temperate day like this.

The football? Well, a rather bizarre 4-0 drubbing. Whickham, controlling most of the ball, were let down by some atrocious defending to find themselves three down after 24 minutes, which increased just before half-time. Game over. Was the best goal the 30 yard opener into the roof of the net, which left the keeper flailing? Or the control and sidefoot off the far post? Both were avoidable from a defensive angle (to the frustration of the Whickham fan to my right). And, despite no more goals in the second half, the chant at full time from the Main Stand of ‘Can we play you every week?’ rang true.

The Damage:
£7 ent
£1.50 programme
£3.80 Goose Island IPA
= £12.30

The Tunes:
BBC6 Music (Marc Riley / Gideon Coe)
Ghosteen (Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds)

Thornaby 2-1 Whickham, Wednesday 11th August 2021

Thornaby 2-1 Whickham, Northern League Division 1, Teesdale Park, att. 226

I’m terribly confused by Thornaby FC. Formed as Stockton FC (and re-named in 2000 as Thornaby), the town of Thornaby lies on the opposite bank of the River Tees from Stockton, so why is it ‘Thornaby, Stockton-on-Tees’? On the rare occasion I’ve had reason to consider Thornaby (the place), I’ve thought of it as a suburb of Middlesbrough, the other side of the A19. If one side of the Tees is Yorkshire, and the other (better) side, County Durham, surely Thornaby isn’t in Stockton. These modern boundaries! Though when I looked up the ground, Teesdale Park, to find it was adjacent to ‘Old River Tees’ I wondered, what’s that? A bit of digging and it turns out one of those Victorian Indsutrial Age innovations was straightening the Tees so that ships could reach Stockton (and the black gold – coal – brought there by rail from the Durham coalfields). No wonder the waterside at Stockton is so straight. I never knew!

Something else I pondered over was Teesdale Park. Rarer than hen’s teeth, here was a flat pitch in the Northern League. What wonder of mankind or nature was this? Talking to an old timer, he told me the place was a cricket ground before its development. It’s a smart arena too, with a covered propped Main Stand just past the halfway line opposite a grass bank covering the length of the pitch. Excellent views, save for the bizarre addition of a bus shelter on the halfway which appeared to double as a camera gantry. Or just a gantry, given the lack of TV camera. On a fine night in North Yorkshire, 3 gentlemen took the opportunity for an indoor sitdown. Get here early when the weather’s on the turn…

Behind one goal is the social club and some open seats. Again, great in late summer, possible less so for the other 9 months of the season. The entrance is at this end, in the corner. This came as a relief as I walked around, as the social club was behind a fence and I could find no way in. I lucked out though, claiming the last programme, and the gateman gave me a teamsheet for good measure. I like it here.

The programme gave the usual synopsis of both teams, but had a rather tough football quiz in which I scored a meagre 3/8. I did though learn that Kieron Dyer played for England 33 times (how?) even though I mainly remember him for an on-pitch fight with Newcastle teammate Lee Bowyer. No matter what happens in football, there’s always Newcastle United to make one chuckle.

I wandered down the touchline towards the Main Stand, passing a pop up bar, which would have screamed craft ale had it been Dulwich, but it wasn’t. So it was Fosters, Carling, or somesuch. Can’t knock it though, I wasn’t drinking. Clean, spacious toilets too, another rarity at this level. I made use before standing for most of the first half against a barrier next to the pitch before I heading towards the bank opposite, passing behind the goal. This was a small terrace with cover, Thornaby FC flags hanging proudly at the back. Who needs their team’s name emblazoned in the seats?

The bank provided a great view and I was quickly impressed with Thornaby left winger/forward Elliott Beddow (‘among the quickest players in the League’ according to the programme). However, whether good defending or a poor last pass, Thornaby couldn’t get him in. However, they broke the deadlock when a stray pass from Whickham was then squared for a confident finish from Luke Hogan. ‘I don’t know how we’re winning’ said the old timer as I intended to complete a circuit of the ground at half-time. I never managed the circuit – we chatted for the rest of the match.

Whickham equalised after the hour, as the Thornaby keeper came out to collect, completely misjudged the cross and found himself stranded. An easy tap-in. A young lad, I’m again baffled to know how a 17 year old goalkeeper (Josh Mazfari) can have had trials for England Under 18s and yet play for Thornaby FC. Even then, he wouldn’t have played had the regular #1, Dimi Konstantopoulos (former Boro and Poolie legend, with nearly 400 appearances) been available. The latter is now a coach at Hartlepool and apparently won’t be available when they play – which is every Saturday for a start!

With around 20 minutes left, Whickham’s Ross Peareth was shown a second yellow for a robust mistimed tackle, leaving Thornaby to hunt down the win, and it was our man Beddow, streaking through to calmly finish. I like the look of this lad (despite other misses.) For a second successive away game, I’d seen Whickham lose 2-1, but they look more than good enough to be halfway up this league. Time will tell.

ps, don’t make my mistake and find yourself in the cricket club car park. Thornaby FC is the right turn BEFORE (or left turn after) and whatever you’ve read on the internet about a lack of parking, it’s not true – there’s car parks behind both goals, as well as the ability to park on the lane parallel with the bank side.

The Damage:
£7 ent
£2 programme (last one)
= £9

The Tunes: OK (Talvin Singh)

Whitley Bay 2-1 Whickham, Saturday 31st July 2021

Whitley Bay 2-1 Whickham, Northern League Division 1, Hillheads, att. 448

Welcome to ...

As I took my partner to hang around in Whitley Bay for an afternoon while I went to the match, I was reminded of a childhood episode. My dad took me to a Barnsley away match at Oldham and we brought my mum along – she’d been promised a day out and ‘there must be something to see since Oldham is quite sizeable’. He was wrong. Oldham was a rundown dump with nothing there, a fact I told the Thomas Cook rep that summer. I was 10 and my friends would say my diplomatic skills have not improved since. Luckily, an afternoon in Whitley Bay is a lot more pleasant than Oldham. Sarah had 2p machines to amuse herself. (What are they called? Coin sliders? I dunno…)

Whitley Bay was the star seaside attraction of my youth, the amusements at the white walled Spanish City the mightiest of all the north-east resorts. Indeed, an inscription on a nearby wall said as much….’Ah…Whitley Bay…The Dome! The white Dome! It was the Taj Mahal to us!’ Sadly, cheap package holidays became the rage and our seaside resorts either withered or moved with the times. Whitley Bay has cleverly done the latter. The rides may no longer be there, but Spanish City hasn’t been completely demolished; the dome and main building survive to be a posh restaurant (with London prices) and a craft pub, amongst others.

However, I was here for the football, and after an ice cream I ventured forth, following Google Maps…and ending up at the rugby ground. Luckily, the rugby ground is next to the cricket ground…which is next to the ice rink…which is next to the football ground. If the facilities were a bit better, it might almost be Germanic, putting all the sports together in one area. And I’m sure the Happy Mondays played the ice rink, back in the day.

Whitley Bay FC have been back in the Northern League 20 years, having been members of the Northern Premier League previous to that. However, they weren’t the first (and won’t be the last) to suffer financial problems leading to coming back with their tails between their legs. One upshot of this though is their phenomenal record in the FA Vase, winning it a remarkable 4 times between 2002 and 2011. In general, Northern League teams do very well, a quirk of geography which means clubs at this level often have better players.

Hillheads is a traditional non-league ground. One old Main Stand, supporting pillars to obstruct the view, as well as a floodlight pylon protruding through the roof. Adjacent on the entrance side is a terrace the width of the stand, with a small cover at the back. I guess this was mirrored on the other side of the stand, but it’s now fenced off and overgrown. Opposite the Main Stand is a cover over terracing which sweep round behind the goal to join its seated companion. There’s no terracing behind the far goal, but its enclosed, with a raised flowerbed (weedbed?) running its width. This could look spectacular if it was planted and cared for.

Through the turnstiles is also a club shop (‘Ho’way the Bay’ CDs reduced to £3!) but with Covid-19 restricting it to one person or family at a time, I didn’t want the self-awareness of being the only customer in while others waited. Beer was available via the social club, but I took a spot behind the goal at the terraced end. Today was the opening day of the Northern League season and a healthy crowd of 448 was rewarded with an excellent opener. Bay took the lead in the 12th minute at the weed end when a lovely through ball ended with Coulson rounding the keeper and slotting. You don’t see enough of that kind of thing higher up the ladder.

After finishing last year’s Opal Fruits which I’d found in my coat pocket, I circled round and took a pew in the Main Stand. I think I got one of the few seats left with a view of BOTH goals, what with the roof supports. Perhaps one was in the way of the Whickham keeper, who came racing out, kicked the ball straight to Malone, and watched as said player hit the ball 35 yards into an empty net. 2-0 Bay.

With the game looking safe, Bay centre half Callum Anderson swung and sliced a cross which bulleted towards goal. What looked like a great save turned to despair as the ball landed behind the keeper and bounced into the net. I love non-league football!

*Good to see Whickham keeping up the local habit of wearing the colours of the nearest ‘big’ team, the black and white stripes of Newcastle. (Around Sunderland they all seem to wear red and white stripes.) And how often do you hear the ref call the keeper ‘young ‘un’? Only in the north-east!

The Damage:
£7 ent
= £4
(no programmes)

The Tunes:
Black Sunday (Cypress Hill)
XXX (Roxette)