Sunday 30 October 2016

BFC 2-2 Bristol City, Saturday 29th October 2016

‘You can’t argue when you’re silent.’

Another town centre eyesore about to bite the dust.

After the highs of last weekend, I’ve had a poor time of it this week, being ill for the best part of it, culminating in an inability to sleep.  Up at 6 on matchday with a double earworm: the chorus of the Inspiral Carpets’ ‘Two Worlds Collide’ (‘What have I done with my life?’) combined with Pop Will Eat Itself’s ‘Ich Bin Ein Auslander’.  This is what the prospect of going back to work next week and Brexit does to one’s psyche.  I’ve been in Ghent this week.  Less than two years ago I got 1.41 euros for my pound.  Now it’s 1.11, while at St. Pancras, the exchange rate was £1:€1.01,  F*** me, virtually one to one.  Is this really what our clueless nation voted for?

Sorry, I digress before I even start.  Of course, today was the Big One.  The return of the Little One. The little pr*ck.  Let’s kick his sorry little ar5e back to his ‘Real Madrid’ of Bristol City.  Yes, after the (misplaced?) loyalty shown by Cryne last year in not sacking this idiot after 8 successive defeats and a non-league pelting, Little Lee was somehow rewarded with a (presumably higher paid) job, certainly one with a bigger budget.  And we entered this one with some trepidation, without, arguably, our 3 best players: Hourihane and Scowen in centre mid, and Roberts out again in defence.  Pre-match, I think most would settle for a draw.  I certainly would.  Hecky’s only gone and given a debut to an 18 year old in midfield who even seasoned under-23 watcher Salisbury hasn’t raved about.  Let’s hope the others pick up their game and we make light of the odds.
True Love.  Every home game, this old couple are there.

Having to meet Papa Bear for my season ticket, I was in early.  Early enough, in fact, to see the new scoreboard in action properly for the first time. Did you know it even shows Reds' highlights?  Goals from previous games, etc?  Least I think it did: the screen is so far and away and so small, the only fans in the stadium who can reasonably see it are those at the front of the away end.  Typical; we wait 20 years for one of them scoreboards everyone else has and once we have one, it’s like having a 14 inch screen in the opposite corner of your living room. Pointless.

Without Hourihane, and any other pretender to the throne, Hecky throws another surprise.  Captain for the day is star centre forward Super Sammy Winnall.  Reward for all those quiz victories in the programme last year, probably.  And actually, I was very impressed.  Sam really stepped up to the mark, always quick to get to the referee to help with any discourse between the ref and whichever Red he was keen to book next.  (More about the ref later.)  It also helped that he got some terrible blood injury and was able to return later, further cementing those Butcher-esque leadership credentials. 

By this point, we were leading.   Armstrong and Yiadom forge a move on the left with the latter able to cross the ball in for Marley to head home.  True, Sammy tried getting in the way, but we only have one player capable of winning the ball in the air in their box; our right midfielder.  And for the rest of the half, Marley hammers them.  He may not be especially quick, or tricky, but he shrugs off challenges and doesn’t let defenders get anywhere near the ball.  I love him.  And I love him even more when he plays in a front two.


Welcome to .....

I can’t really remember much in the way of scoring chances in the first half, but it was entertaining nonetheless.  To this, I must thank the Man In Black, who really was something else.  The ref created a rod for his own poor performance early doors when he failed to book a couple of players for bookable challenges, thereby making everything what followed ‘open house’.  Winnall broke from the halfway line, 3 on 3, and is chopped down from behind.  Now, regardless of whether the ref knows Winnall would’ve played the ball straight to their team, this was a stone-cold yellow.  No.  Free kick, and now, amazingly, City have 11 players behind the ball.  

A ball goes out for a throw.  So a City player scoops it over the hoardings to prevent it being taken.  A blatant yellow.  No chance.  (The ref ignores another in the second half.)  Then, for many, the biscuit is taken with the bloody Winnall incident.  ('Bloody Winnall.'  One of my more common utterings.)  Now, I have to say, I’m sat much closer towards the Ponty, so couldn’t see much in it, but I know a man, who knows another man, who swears Winnall took an elbow to the head.  All I know is that SSW is now bleeding profusely.  I can only presume all was fine, cos the ref and linesman weren’t more than 10 yards from it.  But since the ball never reached Winnall and his marker, how the hell else does one get such an injury?

The Ponty.

Next comes a couple of cheap bookings for the Super Reds.  Ok, Morsy was on thin ice the whole time, conceding a couple of fouls and making his mouth go about the decisions.  So I can see why he was carded.  I’d have understood it more if that little fat f*** Tomlin had followed him, cos the pair of them were at it.  So he got a talking to, then, yet, when our 18 year old debutant brushes a player, the ref gives a free kick.  Of course he feels hard done to, but even Winnall running in to calm things down with the ref doesn’t prevent the twit (not quite the word) in black from issuing the inevitable.  Great.  More than half a game to go and our entire central midfield are on yellow cards with a ref who one can best describe as ‘having an interesting game’.  I hold no hope of this match finishing 11 aside.

Then, with time running out in the 1st half, the ref ballses up another decision.  Everyone knows Winnall is going down the second he cuts inside their player.  He hits the floor, nothing in it.  Penalty.  Thank you very much, ref.  Up steps Sammy and a trio of Reds fans start spending the money I’ll be owing them when he hits 10 league goals for us this season.  Sit down.  Sammy’s guilt gets the better of him, as he pussyfoots it nicely to the keeper’s left, easy save.  Oh well, I’m sure it won’t make any difference to the result.  I spend half time saying the word ‘tw*t’ far too much.

The old Main Stand.

Second half and it’s an open game.  The ref has had time to calm down, and the teams have decided not to test him.  We get to watch some football.  Chances come and go before Jackson inexplicably handles a cross for a pen.  Tomlin shows Winnall how it’s done, driving it high into the net.  Boll*cks.  Now it’s time to hang on.  Davies makes an unbelievable save from a header, while Armstrong cuts inside and lashes one off the bar from 25 yards.  We’re still in it.  Then Hecky makes a sub: Hammill on for Marley.  Waddington WILL be pleased.  And within a minute, the difference is made; Jackson falls on his ar5e and a neat throughball leaves Chelsea loanee Abraham in with a tap-in.  (On a related note, wasn’t it a Chelsea loanee who did for us v Reading?  Like anyone needs a reason to dislike them.)  If Abraham’s not offside, it’s great movement, cos he was behind McDonald.

So, that’s it.  Despite all our efforts, we’ve lost again.  If only Winnall…etc  But no, a minute or so into injury time and Hammill does one of those stepovers Waddington so despises, before scoring one of those goals Waddington so despises, sidefooting to the far corner with his right.  This must be some sickener for Little Lee, who surely told his players to watch out for Hammill playing silly buggers before cutting inside onto his right foot.  ‘About time’ most would say, though it could also be noted that Hammill is actually only one behind Super Sammy Winnall in the Oakwell scoring stakes this season.

The City hordes.  Nearly 3/4 of a thousand of 'em.

The top 3 is very difficult this week.  I expect many different permutations from the Londontykes massif.

*** Yiadom.  Tackles, attacks…and with time running out, took the game by the scruff of  the neck to drive past 3 players in midfield.  Excellent decision-making as well as superb fitness levels.  All while playing out of position (left back).
** Watkins.  Took the game to them, especially 1st half.  Another played out of position, how he beats players and finds himself in 10 yards of space, despite limited pace and skill, is a sight to behold.  Notched.
* Kent.  His most consistent game yet, for me.  Didn’t disappear as previous and seemed to be one of those ‘stepping up’ to make up for the debutant.

Despatches:
Hats off to Andy Jones, sending me a text celebrating Winnall’s opening goal.  Oh, hang on, it’s Marley Watkins.  
Overall, I thought Winnall did alright, chasing, harrying, and did an excellent job as captain.  Thankfully came back after his injury.  I’d hate to claim my fifty quid cos he’s ruled out for the season!  Kay came in and did a job.  Put in some tackles and was confident enough with his passing, even if he did lose it on occasion.  Didn’t let the side down and subbed near the end to generous applause.   Beside him, I thought Morsy was excellent.  Our Wolverhampton-born Egyptian international (!) held it together and managed not to get sent off.  Bree was another with his best game this season, at right back, while Davies was faultless.  Another great save to add to last week’s.  Armstrong was everywhere and got the Twitter MOTM (I think; memory is a bit hazy) while the centre halves looked strong, apart from when they didn’t.  I thought McDonald was outstanding again, while Jackson made 2 last ditch tackles and blocked another goalbound effort, yet will mainly be remembered for the handball and slip.  Leaving it all to talisman Hammill to rescue.  Given 15 minutes to win it, nothing went right, until…until…he jinks past a player in the box and buries it from a tight angle.  ‘Adam Hamill is a Red’ echoes around Oakwell.  A skinny bald-headed bloke behind the goal tries to look pleased.

Actually, it was a generally good atmosphere.  I particularly enjoyed it when THEY scored..and all you heard was the Ponty End singing.  And the constant referencing of Little Lee's hat.  Wan*er.

Drink du jour: Erdinger.  I still can’t fathom why the Captain brought me 3 bottles of the stuff, but it was welcome.  Another one in the #7 and vodka and orange home.  I didn’t have alot.  Did I say I was ill?  I didn't even have my usual chish and fips.

Away: 744.  Or about 200 less than village outfit Barnsley took to Brentford last week.  This is what I like about Bristol City; all the advantages of a big budget, without the worry over scrambling for away tickets.  And the way they save their voices for when they’re winning.  Quality.

The Damage: 30 travel
The Tunes:Be One (Wolfgang Buttress)



Oakwell panorama v Bristol City.
The nights are drawing in...





Sunday 23 October 2016

Brentford 0-2 BFC, Saturday 22nd October 2016

‘Why are you wearing a lady’s coat?’ 
Welcome to ....

Finally, a game in The Smoke, so we can have a lie in and a casual start. ‘cept we can’t, cos there’s some reason we have to be on a 10:52 from Waterloo so’s we can bag a table in the pub.  No problem, apart from not getting home till late the nite before after far too many pints.  Marius needs to feed his beer app (he’s up to about 864 individual beers apparently).  Sarah has come too, and we meet the Captain and Reedy in the Beer House, Waterloo.  Does what it says on the tin, so I have a latte.  Feel like s***.
Head to the Griffin, the away pub of choice.

I love Brentford.  So when Marius wanted a recommendation for his Autumn visit from Norway, I suggested this one, especially since they've plans to build yet another soulless monstrosity.  Small ground, completely enclosed (especially since the roof was built on the old away terrace), surrounded (literally) by pubs, easy to get to.  All we need is a win – something we haven’t managed since god knows.  We bump into Pompey in the back streets, having just parked up, and we’re one of the 1st in the pub (The Griffin?)  The ploy to bag a table works; we have an entire corner.  A couple of trains later and we’re joined by several more Londontykes.  But why is Ben wearing a coat of colour and style only seen on folk of a female hue?  Worse, him and his mum are wearing matching shoes.  What is it with these Lockwoods?  Soon the pub is full, mainly of Barnsley, shouting ‘Arr much?’ every time they buy a round.  Welcome to my world.
I bet the new place doesn't look like this.
I see the team line up pre-match and fear the worst; Armstrong, Winnall AND Watkins?  It can only mean one thing, a couple of midgets up front and Marley wide midfield.  And so it is. Hamill is dropped for his Tuesday nite shenanighans and his s*** form.  This had better work.  No Scowen (suspended) and no Roberts (injured?).  Worrying.
I leave early for the ground, fancying a good perch for myself and the flag, if possible.  All works well and we have a choice; stand at the back and watch the game behind some pillars, or stand right at the front, pitch level.  A few of us opt for b) and while I enjoyed the novelty, I’ll problies not do that again for a while.  You simply have no perspective on the other half of the field.  Why’s he not having a shot?  Problies cos he’s 40 yards out.  Where’s that player just come from?  Who’s that?  So it is that the ball pings around their box and someone (we think it’s Armstrong) prods it home. 


One view from behind the goal.

Half time and I go and visit Sarah upstairs and discover a whole new world: a view.  Sarah is right behind the goal, virtually on top of the net.  Even better, there’s a spare chair behind her.  I’m having some of this. So, despite really looking forward to being on a terrace, I end up in the seats.  Salisbury moans cos it’s where he wanted to be before those pesky Londontyke kids all said they wanted to stand.  In truth though, you’d have to be 4 foot tall to really enjoy it.  The seats have zero space, and it was a good job we were on the end of a row to stretch the legs.  Even better, we have Super Sammy Winnall.
...and another
Kent and Armstrong (?) rip Brentford to bits down our left and Kent fires one in.  He’s never gonna score from there, but it hits the post and cannons to our erstwhile goalhanger supreme.  He can’t miss – and he doesn’t.  Another 3 yarder to add to his tally.  Thank f*** I’m upstairs,no doubt saving myself from being jumped on by Slacki, Jonesy and anyone else looking forward to seeing me splash out 50 quid if he scores 10 league goals for us this season.  (He’d missed a good chance 1st half, a header; if he keeps getting the chances, he should make double figures.)  As I said, thank the lord for Sammy, cos he gives me an opportunity to stand up and stretch my aching legs.  The old war injuries and all that.

The scoreboard

Armstrong then wastes a 3 on 2 chance, going for goal when the pass was on before Davies is forced into making 2 one-on-one saves and tipping another shot over the bar.  Hamill is even given a trot out and breaks forward a couple of times, a bit like Kent looking good when he came on t’other week.  Everyone else looks happy to take what they’ve got as time runs out for Brentford.  Finally, after a draw and 5 defeats comes the dawn of victory.  Unlike the others, I’d hardly say we played well; it was a game littered with mistakes from both teams.  So I could hardly believe the ‘It’s just like Brazil’ chants towards the end.  Rarely did we put more than a few passes together.  Still, mustn’t grumble.


On top of the net, second half.

*** McDonald.  Superb.  Won everything, passed balls about and strode out of defence like Beckenbauer (or Jim McNulty).  Always had the ball under control this week, while dealing with a very tricky (dirty) customer in Scott Hogan, a lower league Diego Costa if ever I saw one.
** Davies.  Didn’t have an awful lot to do 1st half, but came into his own in the last 15.  His catching was also first rate, though his kicking could still improve.
* Morsy.  Put in some tackles, but also broke through the lines a couple of times with the ball.

Londontykes' MOTM:
***
**
*

Even Toby's been allowed out...
Despatches:
I’ll start with Jackson, McDonald’s new partner in central defence.  As well as having a good game, he was actually telling the rest of the defence what to do, where to stand, etc.  Looks a sound acquisition.  Mind, Bree and Yiadom didn’t convince at right and left back respectively.  Hourihane was excellent in midfield, and unlucky not to make my top 3.  Ditto Watkins.  You know what you get with Watkins, and apparently it was his knockdown for the 1st goal.  This puts him among the league leaders for setting up goals WITHOUT the aid of taking every free kick and corner.  Kent flickered in and out.  I’m still not convinced.  He certainly can’t defend, as him and Bree were made to look clowns by one Brentford short corner routine in the 1st half.  He also has a tendency to cut inside too often.  Armstrong and Winnall?  Well, one looked good on the ball and one ran around a lot, but, really, they don’t hold onto the ball well enough for me.  God (Ryan Williams – everyone’s heard of him, but nobody’s seen him) even came on.  Christ, was he s***?  I don’t mind that he can’t get into the game cos he needs some minutes to get used to it, but the LEAST he can do is track back. Actually, no he can’t.  Which is how they ended up clean through down their right.  2 or 3 times, Williams gambled on getting the ball on their goalside of their man, only for their man to turn and run away with the ball.  He simply makes too many bad decisions when out of possession. I know, I know, harsh for a 10 minute runout (5 mins plus an unbelievable 6 mins of injury time).  But I AM harsh.

The view from the upper tier

Anyway, 2-0 win, job’s a good un.  They hadn’t lost at home in 10 and were/are top half of the table. This win is not to be sniffed at, they’re a decent team.  But we rode our luck and were probably deserved winners (just).  And there was even Paul Heckingbottom (‘he’s one of our own’) to look forward to on the Channel 5 highlights later.

Now, please (please) let us beat that little tw*t next week.  Without Hourihane and Scowen and who knows else.

Onwards and upwards!  


YOU REDS!  Full time at Griffin Park.

Drink du jour: ‘Craft lager’ in the Griffin. Why does it taste like any old cooking lager?  Then several Weihenstephaner in the Waterloo Tap before Reedy took most of us to some back street pub wot does Thai.  A cracking find.  Drank Blue Moon, but only cos my 1st 2 choices had ran out. 

Away:
 900 odd.  A good atmosphere despite the lack of noise from the home fans.  I thought terraces were meant to create some noise?  Maybe getting beat by us does depress one slightly?


The Damage:

23 ent
5 prog (!)  A 4000th Brentford league game special.
3.30 steak and kidney pukka pie. It was alright, but a bit soggy.
= 31.30


Downstairs panorama

Upstairs panorama

Celebrations at full time.







Sunday 16 October 2016

BFC 2-4 Fulham, Saturday 16th October 2016

'I can't believe we're winning...and we're not.’


I always think a queue at the box office is a GOOD thing.

Yes, reality is dawning.  I saw Reading come to Oakwell and deservedly take the points despite being down to 10 men for the most part.  I saw Brighton take us to bits at the American Express Community Stadium…and I thought they looked a decent team.  I’ve now seen Fulham DESTROY us, 1st win since before I was born (1970; last time they won, not when I was born, cheeky f***s.).  1st Fulham goals since the infamous 4-3 win in the early 80s when we were 3 down.  The constant in these 3 defeats?  Barnsley FC.  In particular, the defence. Or ‘de-fense’ as Slacki described some nuance of American football in the pub late doors.

Things have changed at that there Barnsley. I know, I know.  We’re no longer queueing up to eke out a draw at home to Scunthorpe, we’re now with the big boys (Fulham?).  And, I’m sorry to say, as much as I love our style of football, hitting teams on the break at pace (we taught Leicester City everything they know) we’re now being found out.  Fulham had done their homework.  Despite no wins in 6, instead of sitting back, men behind the ball, grateful for a nil-nil, they did the high press.  And without a ball playing centre half (Mawson: sold to Swansea) or overlapping wing-back (Aidy White, injured) we are nothing.  Our back 4 today (Yiadom, McDonald, Roberts, Kpekawa) took more touches to control a ball than (Super) Sammy Winnall had contact with the sphere the entire game.  Not that Sam was s*** either.  



The teams come out (tho it's too sunny for a Samsung S5)

So, we failed to concede despite Fulham being able to cross as many balls in as they liked.  Why does Kpekawa stand 6 yards off his man?  My dad asked who our new assistant coach was, after the Tommy Wright business. I said I can’t remember his name, but I think he used to play left back for Ipswich (Jamie Clapham? I can’t be ar5ed to check.)  Daddy M said he needs to give this bloke some tips then.  Sadly, I remind him that our actual manager was one of the worst left backs we’ve ever had.  And I think that’s half the problem.  Given his own deficiencies, he wants an athletic big-ar5ed sh*thouse who LOOKS the part.  Instead, we have someone who’d be better off preening himself in front of a mirror admiring his taught body while wondering why he’s not quite as athletic as he looks. Nevermind the inability to defend, control a ball, head a ball….anyway, I can’t give the full list.  Reedy named half a dozen of his inadequacies on a platform at Donny rail station afterwards, before Slacki added 2 or 3 more.  Can I just repeat: FOUR HUNDRED AND FIFTY GRAND (allegedly), while we GAVE AWAY George Williams in the summer for the sake of a few quid.

Am I ranting? I hope so.  It also doesn’t help that Hamill hasn’t had a decent game this season, while Kent hasn’t the pace to outside a man, so keeps cutting inside only to lose it.  If he were a schoolchild, he’d definitely come under the tag ‘slow learner’.  As Hamill’s chief apologist, I can only say it’s difficult to run without legs, as one cheeky clip in the 2
nd half showed.  But still, he’s well below par.  Also, am I imagining this, or did I really see a team sheet in the club shop which said Hamill and Winnall were benched today?  It certainly explains some random coming up to me pre-match and saying ‘well, you must be happy’ (meaning Winnall).


The |Ponty.  Yup, still too sunny.

Oh yes, Fulham then lost the ball cheaply in their own half and Morsy (Twitter MOTM!) slipped a simple pass through to Sam Winnall (m’lord) to crash one in off the far post. Great finish.  Always liked him.  F*** me, WE ARE WINNING!  I’m chatting to the boke next to me (not my dad, the other one, the one who likes to wear perfume…sorry, AFTERSHAVE…to a game of football)…’I can’t believe we’re winning this game….and we’re not’.  Fulham run through us straight from the kick off, a cheeky flick, good movement, a sidestep and cool finish. If it was against anyone other than us, I’d be raving about it.  Instead, I toss a coin between irked and resigned.  Resigned wins.

Half time with the Londontykes East Stand (lower) diaspora, nobody disputes Fulham’s right to be not losing.  We’re lucky to be going in at 2-2 and hopefully Hecky can change things.  He doesn’t.  32 seconds in and it’s 2-3. Slacki hasn’t even finished his p*** yet.  (He’s only had 20 minutes.)  Their left back pushes up and his cross is so bad it flies into the net.  I wonder where our right back is: he’s standing on the apex of the 6 yard box.  I’m presuming it’s Kent who’s foregone his defensive duties.  Either way, it’s certainly Kent who’s in the same place to allow another Cottager to cut inside to whip in a pinpoint cross to centre forward Chris Martin to head home confidently.  The same Chris Martin who the Fulham fan on the train was berating for not scoring in 20 matches and never looking likely.  He looked phenomenal to me.  Sorry, I mean we made him look phenomenal to me.  Physical, niggly, a proper wind-up merchant….brilliant.  I’d take him tomorrow.


The Cottagers

Within a couple of minutes, all hope was extinguished as Joshua Scowen got clipped, scampered after it and dived into a tackle with Parker where he may have won the ball, but it was no surprise to see him depart under the ref’s orders; you simply can’t dive through the air into tackles like that these days.  I enjoy a few seconds of screaming at the ref for not giving the original foul, before it turns out he had.  Seems neither me nor Josh heard the whistle.  But as someone else said, perhaps he should have gone through Parker sooner, cos the latter really did run the show.  Note to Hecky: you need to react to what’s happening on the pitch.  Even if it’s getting a pedestrian Sam Morsy to stand next to Parker so he can’t just do what he likes.  If anyone’s expendable, it’s him.

And so, for the best part of half an hour, Fulham took pity on us, playing it around themselves (‘Please Mr Fulham, can we have our ball back’) without ever properly trying to score any more.  I’m presuming that’s why they kept kicking it over the bar from promising positions.  Then, as half the home crowd left (to be fair, most stayed till 85+mins) injury time came and we had our best 3 minutes of the second half.  Bree was sent on at right back, Yiadom pushed into midfield, and both looked a vast improvement on what we had.  We even had a cross (Bree) and  shot saved (Yiadom).  God knows what we’ll do against the Mags on Tuesday if we’re without both Scowen and Hourihane, but I’d take the risk of Yiadom in midfield again. Just please, please, let’s not have the opposition waltz around Morsy for 90 minutes.  I might not be there, but I’ll still feel the embarrassment.


Looking towards the away end.

*** Watkins.  A bit of muscle up front AND scored.  Completely deprived of any service 2nd half, he disappeared.
** Winnall.  A bit of running around up front AND scored.  Completely deprived of any service 2nd half, he disappeared.  Is now 3/10 of the way to costing me 50 squid.  A bad day all round.
* Bree.  Defended and attacked, which is 2 more things than anyone else in our back 4 did.

Londontykes MOTM:

*** Watkins
** Winnall
* Kent


The back 4 were simply APPALLING.  I’m sorry, I’ve got high hopes for Yiadom, but how many times were they free on their left?  Mind, at least I’ve hope for Yiadom.  What does £450,000 buy you these days?  One Kpekawa, a player not even good enough for Queens Park Rangers.  If I didn’t know better, I’d swear Tommy Wright and Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink were in on this one. The bloke can’t defend, can’t control it, and his efforts at overlapping involve jogging 10 yards behind Adam Hamill.  In essence, our forwards can’t play with any confidence, cos the back 4 just ooze PANIC.  McDonald and Roberts are decent DEFENDERS, but controlling a ball is not their forte and at least 3 times today they found themselves taking on the centre forward when losing the ball would’ve meant the Cottagers (great nickname!) being clean thru.  I despair.  I go mad on a Thursday nite when some 15 stone 40 year old does this in a game of 5 aside.  I thought I was dealing with PROFESSIONALS on a Satdy?


Those were just SOME of the occasions we got away with it.  Somehow we were one up when Marley Watkins (up front!  Imagine!) ‘beat the offside trap’ early doors to bury it into the far corner.  I’ll be honest, I was right in line with it, and I still think he was offside, though TV pics are inconclusive.  Fine, I’ll take that.  It was against the run of play, but we’ll come good.  I don’t think we left our half for the next 20 minutes.  Fulham were so dominant it was untrue.  Nice (quick) little triangles, while we stood around like the traffic cones we are.  Did I say we had a new player?  Morsy was in for Hourihane, mysteriously sidelined today. My god.  Is he ‘strapping’, ‘big-boned’ or just a fat lad?  I do know that every time Fulham played a one-two he was lost (in music?).  Needless to say he was the Twatter MOTM.  Who votes for these things?  On so many levels, he reminds me of one Jacob Ba5tard F***ing Mellis.  Without the talent.  Can someone remind me where Wigan are in the league?


Oakwell panorama, pre-match.

Despatches:


Bradshaw came on and again showed good touches.  I like how he brings others into the game.   What with his goals last year for Walsall, he’s like a cross between Marley and Sam (the positive bits).  Kent looked great for 10 minutes, then got tackled everytime thereafter.  Hamill didn’t even have the 10 minutes.  Blatantly needs to be benched (but not if it means playing Marley at wide midfield!)  Davies possibly conceded more than he saved (given Fulham’s profligacy; they shoulda had 7 or 8) and did himself no favours with the 3rd Scowen and Morsy looked overrun, so I was surprised when one of my near neighbours announced Scowen had been our best player.  Morsy somehow set up our 2 goals despite being dogdirt.  I guess we’ll score 10 when he hits form (and concede 11).
You know, I’d really missed BFC after the last 2 weeks off.  I should have known better. Norris gave me my 3 Brentford tickets in the pub.  Perfect timing, since I was getting about 10 pints in, so I hastily put them in my back pocket. Fast forward an hour and a woman comes up to me as I'm leaving the chippy...'I think you've dropped these, love'.  Christ, nearly lost 70 quid's worth of tickets. Marius WOULD have been pleased next week....over from Norway and unable to get in! Also, I think someone needs to have a word with the programme editor at Oakwell. I'm not sure the prize of a 'singed ball' would be enough to tempt me to enter the fan v player quiz.


Drink du jour: JD and coke.  And we didn’t even finish that cos we were chatting to some horsey types who were off to see their 40 year old ‘unique’ looking daughter getting married to an embryo.  He really was THAT young.  Sti, it was a window into another world as Chris achatted to them about the ‘Breeder’s Cup’ which is held in…..come on kids…..Los Angeles. Who knew?  (Chris is off there next week, sans wife, on their 45th wedding anniversary.  Surely this eclipses that pr*ck who told his girlfriend to get her passport ready cos he’s taking her abroad on Valentine’s weekend….to Wrexham v Barnsley?)  Oh, and 3 pints of Litovel in Kings X as well as Vedett pre-match.  Good on the Old #7, getting in a wheat beer on tap.
Away:
 700 and odd.  A good effort from the notoriously fickle Fulham folk.


The Damage:

30 train3 prog45 3rd strip shirt (it’s fab!)



The Tunes:


Mixmag Sept 15: (What Hannah Wants)
Shangri-La (Jake Bugg)










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