Mansfield Town 2-2 BFC, Saturday 14th March 2026

’I haven’t had a shower for 2 weeks.’

‘That joke isn’t funny anymore’ sang The Smiths, presciently. How did they know they’d be describing Barnsley FC’s efforts at defending over 40 years later? How many more times do we have to throw away a two goal lead against third division opposition? (4 and counting.) How many more points are we to throw away from a winning position (20 and counting, only worsered (!?) by Doncaster Rovers, a side who I don’t remember even having a lead this season). Yes, we can blame penalties that weren’t awarded, and penalties that were, but at the heart of it is a back 4 (and 2 defensive midfielders, and a goalkeeper) unable to keep the ball out of the net against Mansfield Town.

Still, it’s not all doom and gloom. We actually IMPROVED in our result against The Stags, having managed to LOSE the corresponding home fixture (2-3) after being two up. Progress! By the season after next we might eke out two draws against them. And maybe a couple of years after that, keep a clean sheet. Cos this bunch can’t. 21 consecutive matches without stopping the opposition scoring. And after being serenaded positively throughout, the players left with the away end chanting ‘two nil up and we f***ed it up’ while Coach Conor looked a sorry figure coming to the away support on his lonesome to clap our efforts. Brave.

We went 2-0 up a few minutes after half-time. Given we’d looked superior in every department, first half, it looked like more of the same. Banks zig-zagged into the box before cunningly putting his shot straight at former Reds haplessee Liam Roberts. It was impossible NOT to save it, but he managed. Not to save it, that is.

The opening half, Yoganathan pounded one off the bar before POTY Kelly (Phew! He’s back!) drove forward, played it to Bradshaw (I think) who played it perfectly for McG to drive home low from 25 yards. EVERYTHING is going in for him (apart from that tap-in at the Ponty End recently). Where would we be without him? I’ve read he’s now top scorer, which is pretty incredible considering he had 3 months off.

It has to be said, I was probably 3 sheets to the wind when they pulled one back. (I’d sobered up, I was 4 sheets to the wind before that.) Penalty, at the far end. Was it a penalty? It looked like somebody tripped over, and Banks looked sheepish. 1-2. Well, nobody wants a one-sided game. 10 minutes later, Coach Conor makes his decisive move. The GOAT and Phillips on for Kelly and Banks. Now it really was one-way traffic, not helped by Bradshaw’s inability to hold a ball up. Why’s he not chucked Cleary on, give us some outlet?

He does. Finally. 86 minutes in, and we show more up top in the last few minutes than we had since Banks scored. There’s a big shout for a penalty (handball), but it’s fine, we’re still winning. We’re 94 minutes in, one more long throw to defend. One more chance for two of our own defenders to go for the same ball (Shepherd and...O’Connell?), leading to a poor header out, which is picked up and drilled home. Two-nil up and...

Onwards and upwards!

*** McGoldrick. Another quality goal and boy, does he work hard. This includes helping us to DEFEND. So how DO we concede so many?
** Yoganathan. Always looking to drive forward.
* Banks. Could be anyone, but he scored, and we were winning till he got pulled.

Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. McGoldrick 2. Yoganathan 3. Banks

Despatches:
I’ve not been insulted as badly as this for ages, but while Reedy and I were in the Mallard at Worksop Station, it was said of us that ‘they look sensible.’ How very dare they. Mind, we were so described by some of our idiots, and the landlord and his sidekick did extremely well in keeping them under control. ‘Were you happier when they arrived or when they left?’ I asked the bossman. ‘When they left’ came the instant reply.

Credit in despatches for Loko recommending The Brown Cow too. Thank goodness we’ve booked our place back there next season.

The players? My main remembrance was of being quite pleased with Coach Conor for hauling a previously booked O’Keeffe before he was sent off. But on the minus side, I can’t blame Corey for either of the conceded goals.

Drink du jour: Kirkstall Virtuous there and back at The Mallard, Worksop Station, DEYA Into the Haze at The Brown Cow before and after, Brew York Lupo Lion at Heaven and Ale.

Away: c. 1,500 (8,538).

The Damage:
£7 petrol
£15 train
£30 ent
= £52

Mansfield Town 2-1 BFC, Saturday 15th March 2025

‘You know that McCarthy...he’s not a sponsor or something, is he?’

The King is dead. Long live the King. Yes, another manager bites the dust, Coach Clarke inevitably bearing the blame for the shower of sh*te that is our 1s team. The Director of Recruitment remains in situ. And since we’re making it up on the hoof, the poisoned chalice passes to interim coach Conor Hourihane. (‘Aren’t all coaches interim?’ Was that Gerard Houllier at Chelsea?) And the more things change...the more things remain the same.

‘But he’s only had 2 days on the training pitch.’ Well, we shoulda sacked Clarke last Satdy nite then, shouldn’t we? I notice Huddersfield put 5 past Crawley with THEIR interim manager. ‘But they were only playing Crawley.’ Yes. And we were playing a side who were incredibly without a win in 14 matches (4 draws). Could we have played a side with lower morale? And we’d nicked their star player (DKD) back in September. What could go wrong?

What could go wrong? Conor rings the changes. Well, he plays Benson at right wing back and switches O’Keeffe to the left. Cos, like every other master tactician with a coaching badge, he thinks it doesn’t matter. Humphreys is this week’s lamb to the slaughter up front, while loanee Rodrigues gets nowhere the pitch. (Humphreys is hauled at HT for Max Watters.)

It took us 11 minutes to concede. An idiot defender (we’ll call him Roberts) kicks the ball straight to their player in the box and it’s snaffled, into the bottom corner. Worse, I think that’s when Smith injures himself in goal. Brilliant. Our 5th keeper of the season* comes on, young Flavell. How bad can he be, if he’s been continually overlooked in favour of Slonina, Kilip, Gauci and Smith? Actually, he doesn’t disgrace himself and makes a couple of saves. There’s nothing he can do about the winner, as 3 centre halves fail to deal with an up and under and another player is left with a tap-in. Last minute an’ all.

*I’m only counting the league. I think Flavell played in that Mickey Mouse trophy, whatever it’s called.

Inbetween, we actually equalise. Nice Guy Chris won’t approve, but criticism from the fans appeared to have an effect. ‘Sideways and backwards, everywhere we go’ was the terrace chant, as Phillips beat a player on the left. The crowd commentary was great. ‘Woooah...SQUARE...whooah...SQUARE...whooah...SQUARE...GOOOOAAAALLLL. I think Hourihane said we scored with our best period of possession. By which I think he meant we’d put 3 passes together.

It was true though. The only time we found a Reds shirt was in going backwards or square. Kicking it forward only resulted in us losing the ball. And this might sound oxymoronic, but I found out today we’ve played more long balls than anyone else in the division. But it makes sense to me. We’re either punting 45 yard balls towards the corner flag (for opposition defenders to pick up) or we’ve turned into a team of Herbie Kanes. (Let’s get that chant going...never mind wanting ‘a team of Marc Roberts’...’we all play like a team of Herbie Kanes, a team of Herbie Kanes’...etc. Which is ironic, considering we got rid of the sideways shyster.

Onwards and upwards!

*** Bensons for Beds. Started, Scored, NEARLY completed 90 minutes (83, if you must know.).
** Flavell. Kept a clean sheet for 75 minutes.
* No-one. Another awful Saturday.

Londontykes’ MOTM: 1= Benson / Flavell 3. No-one

Despatches:
Commander Reed had surveyed the area and pronounced it was going to be a dismal day of drinking, but it turned out well in the end. In no rush to hit Mansfield, we started in the Sheffield Tap, the Mallard at Worksop Station (where we had to change), then, a newish craft ale place in Mansfield Woodhouse. OK, 45 minutes walk to the ground, but owned by a Reds fan! (We didn’t know this.)

Mind, the train back was slightly delayed. Something called ‘football hooliganism’ broke out, but it all seemed a storm in a teacup. Net result: one bust lip and a small child crying (the small crying child wasn’t the one with the bust lip). Then a yoof asked me and Andy if we were alright! I know we might be getting on for pensionable, but one of us could have had any of these runts. (Clue: Andy.) ps, I said ‘runts’.

In XG chat, we lost another game, 1.75 v 0.46. I’m starting to wonder why I can’t remember all our chances at games, but then I work out...we haven’t had any! Excellent finish from Benson for Beds too. Apparently, Coach Conor likes him cos he’s ‘full of energy’. I expect he is, not having completed a game since he signed for us...has he?

Drink du jour: Weihenstephaner in the Sheffield Tap, Vocation Crush Hour on the train, Virtuous Session IPA in The Mallard in Worksop Station, New World Brewing Hazy IPA in the Barrel Micropub in Mansfield Woodhouse...and whatever we had on the train back...and another in the Mallard...and another in the Sheffield Tap. It’s like we had a return journey!

Away: c.1,900 Sellout? ‘Toxic’ said a texter to Radio Sheffield’s Praise or Grumble. I’ve heard worse this season. ‘SIDEWAYS AND BACKWARDS, EVERYWHERE WE GOOOOO, EVERYWHERE WE GOOOOO’.

The Damage:
£26 ent
c.£8 petrol
£15 train
= c. £49