Cheadle Town 0-0 Stockport Town, Wednesday 21st August 2024

Cheadle Town 0-0 Stockport Town, North West Counties League Premier Division, The Ground Up Solutions Stadium (Park Road), att. 272

I am all excited. I have acquired a new (‘previously loved’) car and I am blasting out the tunes. It’s good to have a working sound system again. After the last one gave out, Audi quoted me £4600 for a new one. ‘Well, that’s not happening.’ ‘No, I guess not.’ Anyway, a part-ex later and here I am. Same make, same model, same colour (has to be red). I am a happy bunny once again. Let’s ignore the fact that if I don’t find that damn V5 form it’s gonna cost me another £500. It’s fine, I’ve narrowed the search down to 40 boxes in my house/loft/garage.

I drive via Ashton to pick up Kev, fresh from the Darlo’s defeat at Buxton the nite before. Hopefully he can enjoy tonite’s game. ‘Should I take my car?’ he asks. What? On my first drive out in my new car? No chance. I hope he likes The Prodigy. No need to use the satnav, Kev finds us there on his own and we park up in the lane to the ground and return to the main road to find a pub. Handily, there;s one just down the street, though it’s a ‘Robinsons’. The last time I saw that name, I was in a dismal pub in Barrow-in-Furness where time had stood still. I was not hopeful. However, the Red Lion turned out to be a cracking pub, just the right ambience and a half decent choice of ales.

Tonite is the big Stockport derby – Cheadle Town v Stockport Town, in the North West Counties League Premier Division. Both sides have made promising starts in their opening 5 games, though I note 2 of Cheadle’s 3 wins were narrow victories over the bottom 2. 9 pts after 5 games, they’re a point behind the visitors, newly promoted but looking to press on. An exciting game is in prospect.

Ah, prospect. We walk down the lane towards the ground as two young lads discuss one’s taste in women. ‘You do love a blonde’. Who doesn’t? We enter the turnstiles and as you turn to your right, the ground is dominated by the main stand, a tall, yet thin structure in the halfway line. It looks huge, but there’s only about 100 seats in it. The back few rows are terracing though, with the highest steps I’ve ever encountered. It’s like when you come across some ancient Roman amphitheatre. After getting a beer from the social club (a half for me) we climb to the back of the stand. What a grand view this is, if we ignore the two pillars at either side holding the roof up. At no point can both of us see both goalposts, but there’s plenty of space to crane a neck, shuffle along, etc.

The game is not a classic. The effort is there, but a goalless draw is summed up by two crosses, one from a free kick, that barely reach the first defender. This is never mentioned in punditry, amongst the superior technique, or physique, of the professional footballer, but the higher up the leagues you go, the harder they can kick a ball, the further they can kick a ball. This is the 9th tier and it showed. I remind Kev of the rules. ‘If it’s a goalless draw it doesn’t count. You have to come back.’ ‘I’d come back here. I really enjoyed it.’

The Damage:
£8 ent
£2.50 prog
£6.50 some pale ale or other
= £17

The Tunes:
Their Law (Prodigy)

Longridge Town 2-3 Padiham, Saturday 2nd March 2024

Longridge Town 2-3 Padiham, North West Counties League Premier Division, The Recycling Lives Ground, att. 483

It is the annual North West Counties League Groundhop weekend, and 7 games have been arranged, from Friday nite through to Sunday afternoon (along with the rest having their usual 3pm KO). Today, Satdy, there are 4 games, at Longridge, Garstang, Squires Gate and AFC Blackpool, kick-offs 11am, 2pm, 5pm and 7:45pm. It’s gonna be a long day, but how often does one get chance to attend 4 games in a day? (Never, thus far.)

I’d never even heard of Longridge. Wasn’t that a car factory in Birmingham? Or was that Longbridge? I set the satnav and enjoy a pleasant journey in the Pennine rain to somewhere near Preston. Indeed, the organisers have made it easier by choosing a couple of games Preston way, followed by a couple in Blackpool, just down the road.

Longridge Town were formed relatively recently, in 1996. No wonder I’ve never heard of them. Developments are going faster than they can keep up, if the photo of their ground on their website is anything to go by – there’s now a small covered stand to the left of one goal that wasn’t there in the photo. And what with the rain, this is the most populated part of the ground today, as groundhoppers penguin up together. I take up a pew here second half, as I’m determined to experience the rest of The Recycling Lives Ground.

I queue up at the one entrance and admire the boxes of ready-made packs of programmes (in a plastic covering, of course) for those groundhoppers who’ve signed up to all 7 games. As warned, if I didn’t order in advance, there’s a good chance programmes will sell out. They have, and I’ve missed out. Oh well.

I enter virtually on the halfway line. There’s a small main stand to my left, in front of the clubhouse. In fact, all the buildings are to my left. The other side of the main stand is another small covering for standing spectators, set some way back from the touchline, while inbetween the left corner flag and the goal is a new cantilevered stand with 4 rows of metal terracing. I head right, where the ground lies completely open on 2 and a half sides. I’m not the only one who walks around, past the goal, only to find the far side (where the dugouts are) is out of bounds. A pity. But at least I can keep an eye on my car, parked in the distance.

The 1st half is a cracker. Lowly Longridge, just outside the relegation zone, are hosting predatory Padiham (it’s the best alliteration I could manage!), on the edge of the play-off zone. It’s end to end, 1-0, 1-2, 2-2...both teams putting on a show for the tourists. I only interrupt my own proceedings for some refreshment. I’m hungry, and what’s this? Pea and ham soup in the clubhouse? Yes please. It is so thick and filling, with some monstrous pieces of roast ham in there. Beautiful.

The second half, by contrast, is disappointing. I spend much of the second half eavesdropping on other groundhoppers’ conversations, and musing over the next game. I’m parked at the cricket club, half a mile away. Last here means I’ll problies be last away, which means I’ll be parked furthest away at Garstang…I see how these things work. With 10 mins left, Padiham score a blinder to win it, and I head towards the exit. I’m not leaving before full-time, but I’m well positioned for a quick getaway. As are 150 others. Do all groundhoppers think alike, I wonder?

The Damage:
£7 ent
£3 pea and ham soup
= £10