Albion Rovers 2-0 Stirling Albion, Saturday 6th May 2023

Albion Rovers 2-0 Stirling Albion, Scottish League 2, The Reigart Stadium (Cliftonhill), att. 623

How much does having a football league team define your town? For places up and down the British Isles, few would have heard of them but for their football team. Here in Scotland… Arbroath, Alloa, Stenhousemuir. Even Johnny-come-latelies like Elgin City, or Peterhead. Their football teams put them on the map. So what of today’s hosts, Albion Rovers? Does a football team put you on the map when there’s no such place?

With my own team playing tomorrow, I had a free Satdy in which to fit in one last groundhop of the season. What would be within driving distance of County Durham? I checked out the Scottish fixtures and looked up Albion Rovers. Needing a miracle (a win for them, defeat for Bonnyrigg Rose, and a goal swing of 13) to avoid finishing bottom of the entire league and a relegation play-off with Lowland League Spartans, this could be their last ever game in the Scottish League.

Where do they play? (Of course, I’m sure every Scottish football fan knows.) There’s no such place as Albion (I knew that), but what town are they in? Coatbridge! Where? Where’s Coatbridge? Somewhere within the Motherwell urban conurbation, so not quite the charming village seaside place it could have been. Capacity 1,500. Would I even get a ticket? Would the locals, knowing what was riding on it, flood the ground in one last, grand, show of support? It was busy, but I need not have worried, although the 623 attendees represented a seasonal high.

And what a gem of a ground, steeped in the past, with its awkward main stand high up from the street, with its curve at one end, a remnant of speedway and greyhounds of yore, and a covered terrace the length of the touchline, now empty and left to disrepair, opposite the main stand. Plus a sprinkling of the club colours of red and yellow (can you beat that?) and a sizeable away support from champions, Stirling Albion. I loved it!

Parking was easy, in a street behind the stadium. All turnstiles were on the high street side of the ground, with that imposing Main Stand above us. The sun shone and the crowd exuded an air of positivity. None of that misery of the spectre of relegation. I had a wander inside, checking out the club shop (sparse) before buying a programme and testing out various places to stand. As charming as the Main Stand undoubtedly is, I fancied being in the sun and unencumbered by stanchions.

I walked to the far end of the open terrace, met another groundhopper who took a few pics before being menaced by a youngster about how ‘this is for home fans’. He can’t have been more than 10. Still, they had a drum with them, which was more than enough to scare us off. I ended up standing to the left of the goal, right in the middle of the Stirling fans, resplendent in their Hawaiian shirts and carrying all manner of inflatables. Most of the chants though were aimed at a home exec in a suit who bore an uncanny resemblance to comedian Kevin Bridges, and boy, did they let him know it.

Albion put on a show too, triumphing two nil and looking anything but a side at the bottom of the table. Or were Stirling like their fans, ready for the beach? Either way, I was impressed with the home team, many of whose players looked proper athletes, and not the lower league tubsters I was half expecting. And did they avoid bottom? No. Bonnyrigg managed not to lose by 11, winning 3-0. Albion now play Spartans, winners take all, for a place in the Scottish Football League. I rather fancy returning, Barnsley FC’s play-off dates notwithstanding…

The Damage:
£14 Ent
£2.50 programme
£2.50 Scotch pie
£1 Fanta
= £20

Stirling Albion 1-1 Albion Rovers, Saturday 3rd September 2022

Stirling Albion 1-1 Albion Rovers, Scottish League 2, Forthbank Stadium, att. 307 (c. 20 away)

A fortnight’s tour of Scotland with the better half ends in Stirling, covered in midgey bites. (I know I’ve got a hot groin, but why did these pests have to go up my shorts when there’s plenty of bare leg action?) Stirling, dominated by its castle, and with the battlefield of Bannockburn in its suburbs, forms a fitting ending to the holiday. Stirling Albion, possibly less so, but I enjoyed it way more than I expected.

I knew they had a modern ground, presumably somewhere on the edge of town (it was). I also thought it only had one stand…I dunno where I got that from….but it turned out there were 2 stands, the East and West, smart cantilevers taking up about 2/3 of each touchline and holding around 2,500 in total. There was also a small open terrace behind each goal, so a pity these were closed (along with the East Stand). I suppose a crowd of 307 barely warranted it, but still…

There was one turnstile open for both sets of fans. Away fans were encouraged to ‘sit at the far end’ and there were a few with their Melchester Rovers-esque scarves. I’d done a lap of the Stirling Sports complex and saw the end of a women’s hockey match. ‘3 cheers for (the opposition)!’ Took me back to my school days, a quaint custom which somehow made a bad-tempered game alright. Adjacent is also a leisure centre, 5aside pitches and do I remember a cricket pitch as well? I’ve been surprised by how many cricket pitches there are in Scotland. I never thought it was their game.

Having parted with £15 (a bit steep for 4th tier part time action, I thought) I entered the West Stand. Programmes were only on sale inside, and a small club shop offered the latest kit and a few other odds and sods. My eyes were drawn to some old programmes, highlighting their old ground’s name…’Annfield’. Of course! I remember that factoid. (They left in 1993.) A greater choice was had in the refreshment stand, as a wide variety of pies were to be had. I stuck to the Scotch. When in Scotchland, etc. And they ARE exceedingly nice. (Why don’t we have them in England?)

I took up a position as near to the halfway line as possible, as high up in the stand as possible. It seemed quite a few season ticket holders (their seats charmingly emblazoned) were missing. Holiday, probably. The sun was out and the pitch looked IMMACULATE. I was expecting one of those plastic things which proliferate up here, but no. Good call. It looked like a bowling green (but without the camber).

The players weren’t quite up to the same standard, despite some neat touches in midfield. Half-time drew, as did the teams; goalless and not looking promising. All was to change a mere 3 mins into the 2nd half, as Banner powered home a header from a corner for The Binos* (Stirling). This roused the crowd a bit and the Stirling ultras (a dozen or so kids at the far end with a drum) even chanted once or twice. Expectant that this was only the start, Albion allowed Albion to score, as a backpass was threaded first time past the keeper. ‘Thanks very much Stirling’ shouted an away fan, to my, if nobody else’s, amusement. Nobody else troubled the scoreline and I don’t remember anyone threatening to either. I was left with a 20 minute walk back to town past half a mile of blackberry brambles. They were delicious.

*I am relying on Google for this. I have no idea what a ‘Bino’ is. Is it short for ‘albino’? Or a misprint for ‘biro’? I know what a biro is…

The Damage:
£15 ent
£2 programme
£2.20 Scotch pie
= £19.20

The Tunes:
Slowdive (Slowdive)