BFC 2-1 Derby County, Saturday 24th February 2024

‘It looks like chicken fat.’

Finally, a use for that 13 million pound bridge…to bait (big club) away fans below, after their side have just had their trousers pulled down and their bare botties spanked by little old Barnsley! Anyway, post-match, hundreds of Reds fans hung over the sides, police powerless, to wish their Derby brethren well on their travels (gestures may have been exchanged). I pity the poor Londontykes who had to share trains with the hundreds of Derby heading in the same direction – or did they cunningly make tracks and get that train before the main throng?

Yes, another fine day, another fine victory…probably the best yet this season. In a must-win game (if we’re to finish top 2) and a must-not-lose game for Derby (protecting their top 2 status) WE WON. And deservedly too, which is not what I’ve often said this season. For once, that narrow 2-1 victory was THE LEAST we deserved after dominating throughout. I heard someone say ‘only one side was trying to play football and that was us.’ I’d say Derby were TRYING, but for a side who were/are 2nd in the league, they were strangely lacking in the ability to put a pass together in our half. They reminded me very much of Washday last season, relying on a left footed veteran (Hourihane) delivering deadballs in hope rather than expectation.

Still, they went one nil up. Of course they did. We’d been warned, as Cadden headed off the line for a corner. No matter, we let the Rams have a completely free header from the resultant deadball, though how it crawled through a crowd of players before a late-sighted lunge from Cadden failed to clear, I’ll never know. I thought the idea of bringing in a 6ft 5 centre half was that we’d never concede this kind of goal EVER AGAIN. Mind, I noticed Derby marked the keeper throughout on corners. Why don’t we do that (if it’s one of those refs who allow it)?

Ah, the ref. I bumped into Darryl (loudest person in the world) at full-time. He was proper laying into the supply. (If you hadn’t kept up, Derby moaned on that the original ref, one of the Madleys – I forget which...Andy? – used to play junior football for the Reds, therefore was going to be entirely biased in our favour. I could have argued the opposite, since we rejected him at 16 and presumably killed his chances of ever being a professional footballer, but there it is). Anyway, Madley was replaced late by the supply teacher, who performed admirably, annoying both sets of fans. Reedy is still probably raging at Derby being allowed to take a free kick for offside inside OUR half...but for me, this was just evidence of what Derby (Hourihane) had been doing throughout...pinching 10 yards for every free kick. I’ve since read that Derby felt we got away with timewasting once we were 2-1 up. Did we? Our keeper was carded for taking less than half the time their keeper took to take a deadball 1st half (was the ref unaware the Rams would happily take a point, if not 3?).

Thankfully, we were on level terms just after the half hour when Phillips was given time and space on the edge of their box to control a ball 6 yards, let it bounce, then crash it into the far corner. BOOM. Appalling defending (just saying). If you want a comparison, look at how we conceded at home to Exeter, as a poor headed clearance ended with Aitchison scoring. Credit to Phillips for the actual finish though.

Ah, Phillips. It must be true what these environmentalists have been saying. Early Springs, warm Winters...the wildlife are confused. And so it is, that after 3 months of hibernation, Adam has spring from his hiding place (leafage, under a hedge, somewhere in Wombwell?) to set fire to this promotion race in February. Two games in a row he’s bagged 2 to bring us from behind to win. And 2 games in a row he’s scored the same goal, flicking on a header from a set piece (this week a corner, Leyton Orient a free kick). While they all mark space or the big lads, Phillips ghosts in to flick home. I suspect we won’t get away with it next match.

That still left half an hour or so (9 mins injury time!) and with Pines becoming more confident with what his feet could do, the only danger was Cadden’s inability to defend one-on-one situations down the left. He only got beaten 3 times (by a simple ‘knock it past him and run on to it’) before being hauled (O’Keefe on to the right, Jordan switching to the left). Mind, we still had the spectacle of their keeper coming up for a corner. I love a keeper coming up for a corner, even if it’s Derby. Ball cleared, we’re 3 on 2 into an open net. Cotter runs to the halfway line, and tries kicking it 50 yards. It gets 30, but no worries, here’s Cosgrove to control it and lift it into an empty net. Sorry, here’s Cosgrove to miscontrol the ball and kickstart a last gasp Derby attack. Love it. The top 2 challenge is ON. Well, until Bolton destroy us a week on Tuesday, a la Ipshit last season.

Onwards and upwards!

*** Phillips, AKA ‘The Hedgehog’.
** The Frenchman. Solid, and brought the ball out well.
* Earl. Him and MDG either side of the domineering Pines? I like it.

Official MOTM: Connell

Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Phillips 2. Earl 3. De Givigny

Despatches:
Great team effort. Roberts made a couple of good saves and punched one out well, despite pressure. Cadden was excellent going forward (and provided the corner for Phillips’ 2nd). Jordan had another good game at RWB (great decision Collins!). Pines looked an accident waiting to happen early doors, and I’m still not convinced he knows what he’s doing with his feet. Why did Derby always stand 15 yards off him? He looked ripe for the press, but dominated the air. ‘USA! USA!’

I thought Connell had an excellent game moving around the pitch and putting in challenges, while Kane was comfortable. McAtee had a poor game, making the runs but forever finding himself the wrong side of the defender who simply cleared. Once again, Cosgrove made a difference coming on (we were drawing till his introduction). It also gave Derby licence to grab, push, shove and barge a Reds player without fear of retribution from the officials. (Maybe one game a season, we can have a match without fouls being punished, a sort of football version of Rollerball (great film)). Cole ran his absolute blood to water and provided crucial pressure on the Derby back 4. Oh, and we managed to get both right backs off the bench, Cotter bringing renewed energy to the right wing. (He’s very popular where I sit, or is it everywhere in the ground folk are shouting ‘Go on Barry!’ while laughing?)

And a note for the atmosphere. Certainly the best this season. Numbers, noise, big away following, winning, scarves waved. It’s so simple, innit?

Drink du jour: Tiny Rebel Easy Livin’ pale ale, a nice, but not as nice replacement for that Flock stuff.

Away: 4,995 or ‘How to silence nearly 5,000 away fans.’

The Damage:
c.£8 petrol
= c.£8

BFC 2-1 Derby County, Wednesday 3rd November 2021

‘He’s got no pace, no height and can’t win a header.’
‘Has his girlfriend left him yet?’

‘WE WON!’ exclaimed a female fan outside Oakwell after the match. Was it surprise, or joy? I couldn’t tell. Certainly relief, as we win as many matches in one game as we’d won in Markus Schopp’s last (only) 16 games, and the first win without needing a last minute penalty save to seal it. Indeed, I must have had brain fog during the game, as, after Wayne Rooney’s Derby County opened the scoring, I wondered if we’d come back from a losing position to win a game this season. I must have looked demented as I sat there in the East Upper, chuckling to myself once I’d realised my error.

Still, a new dawn, a new day. I’d love to tell you how the Reds were welcomed out onto the Oakwell pitch with renewed vigour from a passionate home support, but I missed the sides coming out. Though I noticed the Ponty appeared less full than usual. Looking at the stats page in the programme, it appears the home support (so ignore the away crowd) has diminished game on game all season, as hope dwindles. So you’d think getting rid of Schopp woulda brought a few out. Maybe Markus had his fans after all?

Whisper it…but we weren’t bad. The stand-in coach (who’s name I’ve never known, nevermind forgotten) didn’t change a lot. 3-4-3, but with Benson back in midfield…and what a difference he makes. Twice he made reverse 30-40 yard passes which put us free wide left. He ran the show, 1st half…so of course we were losing. WRDC put in a huge up and under from the left. (Watch it on youtube; it goes so high the camera loses it.) Collins stepped out, hesitated, then retreated to his goal. The defender (Moon) heads it away to the edge of the box where Derby pick it up, play a neat pass and he’s through. My initial thoughts were the keeper coulda (shoulda) came out and punched. I then thought the defence failed miserably with the clearance, but I’ve seen it again and I think I’m being harsh…on the defence. The ball makes it out of the box. Wherethehell are the midfield? But then the ball back is inadequately dealt with by the backline….basically, a sh*tshow all round.

It was a pity. We’d had chances ourselves (same old, same old). Their keeper pulled off a great reaction save with his feet through a crowd of players, while Iseka wasted a golden opportunity on the backpost, heading weakly straight to the keeper. But we hit back before half-time; a bizarre 40 yard 1-2 between Brittain and Big Vic sends the latter towards the corner flag. Vic cuts inside…hits it, and it’s one-all! Howthehell did that go in? Well, being vaguely behind the shot…it was going straight at the keeper…till a Derby idiot defender stuck out a leg and deflected it in. GET IN THERE YOU JAMMY BARSTEWARDS! But, if you don’t buy a ticket to the raffle… Frank Lampard scored summink like 200 odd goals and I’m convinced 63% of them took a deflection. (The other 37% were penalties.) Have a shot and MAKE YOUR OWN LUCK.

Then, early 2nd half, the winner. Brittain (God loves a trier) technically sets up a 2nd goal as he chipped a free kick into the box for Iseka to beat the offside trap, bring it down and finish into the roof of the net. The coolest finish I’ve seen at Oakwell (from a Barnsley player) for a long time. WRDC, now realising they’re in trouble, threw on the subs and for 20 minutes it was end to end. Then after 75, Gomes went off and we never saw the ball again, deciding to spend the rest of the match in our own half and give the ball away. Even when we won the ball with their keeper in our box (from 2 corners) we failed to take advantage, and we got away with it in the end as one blockbuster hit someone and bounced clear, and Derby hit the bar with a shot and we cleared the rebound off the line. Exciting stuff (and I’ve not said that for a while).

Onwards and upwards!

*** Gomes. Did the simple things, like winning the ball, keeping possession. It’s so easy when you’ve got talent. Then he went off and there was nobody prepared to put their foot on the ball.
** Brittain. Worked hard and was rewarded with 2 assists. Still can’t cross a ball though.
* Iseka. Did well in parts and sublime control and finish for his goal.

Official MOTM: Iseka.

Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Gomes 2. Brittain 3. Iseka

Despatches:
Benson was the best player on the pitch for half an hour before (presumably) tiring. It was good to see Mads back, but Helik stole the show again in defence. The way he wins every header, or (his speciality) steps in front of the forward to intercept, is the reason he won’t be with us for long. (As an aside, another former Londontyke claims Helik has been nowhere near as good as last season. Let’s just say I disagree. Without him and Collins we’d be on minus 2 points this season.) Moon complemented both and we generally looked solid in the centre. Styles was in and out, till he was out (subbed). Up front, Big Vic gave his usual effort and was unlucky to be hooked (although Cole looked promising on the counter…if only we could find him!) Which leaves Woodrow, who had the same game he’s had for 18 months, huffing and puffing, outpaced by everyone, throwing his arms up at every challenge on him, and never looking like he’d score a goal. So, undroppable.

Drink du jour: Nada. Not a new Brewdog tipple (altho…)

Away: 2,599

The Damage:
c. £35 petrol
£3 programme
= c. £38

The Tunes:
BBC6 Music (Steve Lamacq / Gideon Coe)

Being a Wednesday, it was Steve Lamacq’s ‘album club’ whereby he plays a classic album from the past. Everyone’s favourite music is from their formative years and I’m no different. This week, it’s a cracking album from 1991, one of my favourites, blinding guitar in a wall of noise…and no, it’s not any of that Nirvana* shenanighans. I mean, of course, ‘Loveless’ by My Bloody Valentine. If there’s any Londontykes whose offspring play guitar, perhaps they ought to get their ears around this….

*Nevermind is a decent album, well-written songs…but it’s hardly Andy Weatherall’s Screamadelica, or, my own all-time fave (and from 1991)….Foxbase Alpha by St. Etienne.

NOTHING CAN STOP US NOW…..

BFC 0-3 Derby County, Saturday 9th December 2017

‘Bradshaw won’t get 12 by Xmas 2018, nevermind 2017’

Work do, Fri nite.  (Not me.)  An omen?

I’m fast running out of ways to describe the latest ineptitude at Oakwell.  Is that 5 defeats in a row or 6?  Who cares?  Little Lee made it 8 (and knocked us out of the cup by non-leaguers) so by my reckoning, Hecky can lose us 20 on the spin and still be safe.  Some people say it’s difficult to wonder what’s happened, but it looks pretty simple to me: the defence can’t defend, the attack can’t attack and the midfield can’t midfield.  The goalkeeper doesn’t do much keeping of goal either.  Did they really score with every shot on target?  Thank god they only had 3 shots on target, in that case.

The Derby whores hordes.

Like Dirty Leeds, we’d lost this game by half time.  In a nothing game of football with nothing happening, Derby open the scoring when one of our centre halves clears the ball to his own area, and while McCarthy stares at it, they nip in and score.  Simples.  The second I thought was a well worked move.  Well, it must have been, cos none of our defenders got near any of the 3 attackers involved in the build up.  Vydra sidefoots home.  (Later, in the 2^nd half, we miss the same chance, before Derby run up the field to bag a 3^rd.)  About the closest we came to scoring in that opening period was an overhit backpass the keeper scrambled away.  (BTW, did that count as one of our ‘shots on target’, cos I’m struggling to remember anymore.)

Match action in front of the old Main Stand.

Early 2^nd half, Derby survive the early Reds onslaught (well, a Potts 20 yarder which cannons off the bar) before the game descends into more nothingness.  Then, a rare chance, as Moncur’s trickery sets up Barnes, to set up Ugbo…who hits the keeper from 8 yards.  That’s ok though, it’s not like Derby will run up the other end and…oh.  A bit of head tennis on the edge of our box and Derby show how it’s done again, a crisp half volley from 20 yards.  Shoot early, shoot on target, and you get your results.  I leg it to the loo and miss what I presume is the highlight of the match: booing Sammy the Snake coming on for the Rams.  Oh well, at least Super Sam shows our defenders how it’s done, clearing a ball from virtually under our bar.  Tw*t.

0-3, the Ponty empties.

*** No-one.  They were all varying levels of s***. 

** No-one.  But I’d be hard pushed to think of anyone who impressed me even slightly, ‘cept for

* Moncur.  The more we play Potts and Gardner, the more Moncur looks like a footballer.  We are going down.

Londontykes' MOTM:  1. Williams  2. Moncur  3. Thiam

Twitter MOTM: I have no f***ing idea.  There was one, right?  (It was Harvey Barnes)

Despatches:
Those Derby fans, they must be really confused.  One minute they’re singing they wanna go home, Barnsley’s not all that salubrious, next minute it’s ‘Don’t take me home, please don’t take me home’.  I won’t miss ‘em.  Plenty of crowing on the train platform too.  Well done lads – your team has beaten Barnsley.

Our players?  I have no more words to say on the matter.  Davies, Yiadom, Lindsay, Bradshaw, Thiam, Potts, Gardner.  S***.  S***. S***.  S***.  S***.  S***.  S***.  Honestly, Moncur is the least of our problems.  But why can’t McGeehan get a game?  Why was Fryers dropped?  Why do we WANT to get relegated?  As for Thiam, one backheel doth not a footballer make.  Learn to pass it with the side of your foot before you try the fancy stuff. Or try scoring a goal, that'd be good.

A seasoned regular tries to stay warm.

Drink du jour: Arcade Ale House this week and they’ve only gone and got themselves some bottled Weihenstephaner.  All the way up till I drank them out of it.  Then a 7.2% Sierra Nevada Torpedo ipa, which I recommend heartily.  Those and the fish and chips (Gary’s Fisheries) almost made the day worthwhile.  Vodka and orange on the way back, but we took it easy, not even finishing a bottle between 3 of us.  Sad days.

Oh, and after sending a Whatsapp message proclaiming still being awake as I crossed the Thames…I fell asleep.  Still, 1^st one of the season, I think.

Onwards and upwards!

Away: 3,166

The Damage:
£23.80 train
= £23.80

The Tunes:
Let Them Eat Chaos (Kate Tempest)
Best of ….. (The Specials)

ps, my money’s safe.  Perhaps we should make it ‘can Bradshaw even have 2 shots by Xmas?’

Panorama v Derby County.

Still awake....

Christmas in Peckham.

Barnsley 1-2 Derby, Sunday 29th December 2013

'We only score world class goals'

£15 + Xmas = slightly bigger home gate than usual

Well, back to the usual.  If the usual is getting beat at home while watching Jacob Mellis traipse through the action. Wilson goes 4-5-1 in an attempt to...what?  Between Mellis, McCourt, Etuhu, Dawson and Jim, you'd think we had players who can pass a ball between them.  What we had, in the 1st 3, were players who could barely CONTROL a ball 1st half, let alone find their own teammate. McCourt certainly lost the ball half a dozen times. He does my f***ing head in.  Then there's Jacob, who loses it easily one minute, then has a right go at a defender who didn't pass him the perfect ball 30 seconds later. (For those who've played 5 aside with Selwood, it was like when Dave gets the huff on cos the ball is played to him and he actually has to stick his leg out for it)

But the worst...the worst...was Scott Bloody Wiseman.  Bloody Idiot more like. Can someone tell me what position he is these days?  I often see him out at right back (when there's no-one to mark, or he's taking a short pass from the keeper), but when there IS someone to mark, he's somewhere in the middle. Yesterday was the PITS.  5 times in the 1st half (3 times in the 1st 10 minutes!) he was nowhere to be seen as the left winger collected long balls over to him.  4 times he got lucky.  2 were offside while twice more the players (for they were different) fell over the ball as they ran. The other time?  0-1 and not 8 minutes on the clock, though admittedly it still took a deflection to beat Steele. The only, the ONLY thing I can say in Wiseman's defence is that he MUST be following manager's orders, cos there's simply NO WAY a full back leaves his winger as often as Wiseman. And it wouldn't be so bad if Wiseman opened his mouth and told other players to help him out on the cover (the way a certain B. Hassell does!) but he just stands there and ignores the tide.  F***ing f*** f***.

The ref has a word with O'Brien

Still, we improved 2nd half - taking 4 minutes rather than 8 to concede.  I do believe they scored from OUR attack, as a sweeping ball out to their right winger saw him leg it 50 yards to deliver a ball to the far post for Wiseman to clear. Oh, my mistake - Wiseman's got sucked into the middle, giving their bloke a free header.  0-2 and we've lost before we've started.  So much for Steele's amazing block just before half time when their bloke looked nailed on to score. When will our keepers realise there's just no point, no point?

What to do, Danny?  For a start, get Etuhu off and replace him with Polish Tom.  Thank Christ for that.  I'll just repeat the most oft question I've heard at Oakwell this season:  How does Polish Tom not get a game in THAT team?  A minute later and McCourt's dragged off for Pedersen.  Are we actually going TWO up front?  Bloody hell!  And Cywka takes it to 'em, driving from midfield, getting the fans excited...and BANG, what a goal.  Picking up the ball midway in his own half, he RUNS forward (Mellis, are you reading this?) beats one defender, carries on running (Mellis, are you reading this?), lollipops it past another defender before finding the bottom corner from 20 yards.  Goal of the season, anyone?

Suddenly the game is transformed.  From being outclassed and not having a sniff of their net, the pressure is all us now, with Derby resorting to the odd break.  Derby weathered the storm though until injury time, when Wiseman (the very same!) cuts a ball back and O'Grady must...MUST..score...and converts the ball high over the bar for two points.  Such a shame, cos O'Grady had been SUPERB all game, holding the ball up, keeping possession.  Put him in midfield!  Cos he gets FA service up front...till the 92nd minute.

We'll not be playing these next season...

So then, the OPTIMISTIC view is that Derby are a top drawer 2nd division team and once we made the requisite changes we really took the game to them.  However, the PESSIMISTIC view is that once again we were outclassed for most of the match and are running out of games.  I had the pleasure of 'Praise or Grumble' afterwards and a Washday fan rang in saying how he can't believe THEY'VE still got a chance, given how bad they are this season.  Remember, there are AT LEAST 6 awful teams.  2 wins and we're...well, still in the relegation zone, probably.

*** Cywka.  In half an hour changed the game.  Amazing what a bit of drive and energy does.  And well done to Tom for being the Hassell of Barnsley's midfield, somehow keeping his morale up despite being 6th choice at best.  (7th if you put Perkins in ahead of him too).  A true professional.  Sponsor's MOTM.

** O'Brien.  Ran around, tried to create stuff.  Y'know, put some EFFORT in.

* Cabbage.  I have to say, I thought Ramage was tremendous yesterday, making 2 or 3 goal-preventing challenges.

Despatches:
Kennedy.  Awful, awful.  If he isn't getting outpaced for the cross that should've been 0-2 before half time, he's ducking out of a header leading to their bloke being clean through.  Superb control and their bloke has cut inside Steele only to be denied by Ramage, alert to the haplessness of our full back.  Along with Wiseman, he starred in 3 of Praise or Grumble's 4 Barnsley callers.  The jist being...well, you can probably guess!

Pedersen.  A couple of callers suggested he should be given an extended run in the team.  Yet he reminds me of the bloke we once got from Blackburn on loan, the Dutch under 21 who'd top scored in a summer tournament...then hit 1 goal in 10 games for us and was last seen on the bench at the bottom of the Dutch Eredivisie.   What was his name?  Anyway, Pedersen is weak as p*** and, if he's not scoring (which he isn't) has zero redeeming qualities in my eyes.  Unless you include looking about 12 years of age and having a gorgeous girlfriend.  F*** him off back to where he came from.

Wilsonwatch: wrong players, wrong tactics.  But he'll learn.  Hopefully sooner rather than later.  Hassell in for The Idiot?  Nyatanga in for The Hapless?  Cywka in for Mellis?  Perkins in for McCourt?  (I thought I'd drop the last one in just to wind some of you up).

Onwards and upwards!

A

Away: 5821 (capacity crowd in North Stand).

Well done Derby - biggest away crowd this season.