Hebburn Town 1-1 (5-4 on pens) Spennymoor Town, Wednesday 3rd May 2023

Hebburn Town 1-1 (5-4 pens) Spennymoor Town, Durham Challenge Cup Final, Stadium of Light, att. 2,165

The non-league season is coming to a close and for most teams their season is over. This includes the National League North and Northern Premier League East, tiers 6 and 8 of the pyramid and the leagues of tonite’s opponents, Spennymoor Town and Hebburn Town. Having lost their play-off semi, it’s Hebburn’s last chance at glory, while for Spennymoor, it’s been a frustrating season. Play-off hopes, long since extinguished, were re-ignited at season’s end with a run of late form, before the fixtures ran out. Thus, Spennymoor are favourites this evening, though star forward Taylor is missing.

The Durham Challenge Cup is contested by every side in County Durham, or the traditional boundaries thereof; in other words, all the teams inbetween the Tyne and Tees. North of the Tyne is Northumberland, south of the Tees is the North Riding (Yorkshire). In theory, the competition should be a shoe-in for the likes of Sunderland, but given their superiority, they enter an Under 23 side, or, like this season, not at all. Oh well, their loss. And at least they’ve offered up their Stadium of Light for the final.

With 48,000 seats, I didn’t foresee any trouble getting a ticket….till I checked online on matchday. No cash turnstiles. Or card turnstiles for that matter. Unless you’d bought an advance ticket via Hebburn or Spenny, you had to have a Sunderland AFC ticket account and buy online. I can imagine how many Newcastle fans (for they do sadly exist in County Durham) would do that. The stadium itself was cashless, as the Durham FA programme sellers found when they went hunting for change. I’d have to come back later for a programme. ‘Maybe you’ll learn for next year?’

Only one side of the ground was open, the West Stand, and only the lower tier of that. It was more than enough. With the black and yellow of Hebburn to my left and the black and white of Spenny to my right, I sat on the halfway line a distance from anyone. As much as Spenny are my local team, there’s just something about black and white stripes I can’t altogether get along with. Still, it was probably as many of those patterned shirts as there’s ever been in Sunderland’s main stand.

I was bloody freezing. I thought summer was coming? Well, not in an evening game in Sunderland in early May, too close to the coast for comfort and a wind that somehow howled within a completely enclosed stadium. The fayre was generally poor too, with little in the way of goalmouth excitement. Spenny nicked one before half-time when Ramshaw turned in on the near post. Surely they’d now canter to victory?

Second half, I moved to be among the black and white. Like the penguins of shared colour, it was mainly for reasons of warmth. Only my determination to see full-time made me stay….and I was unrewarded with a Hebburn equaliser with 5 minutes to go. Purewal (who’d been playing for phoenix club Darlington 1883 a decade earlier in the Northern League) headed in from a corner. Did that mean extra time? I checked the programme. Why would it tell us such crucial info? Fans around me wondered the same. Thankfully, thankfully, it went to pens, Hebburn emerging victorious, just as they had in their semi final. So at least I got a penalty shootout. I always enjoy a penalty shootout. And for the first time in 31 years, the trophy was Hebburn’s. Well done The Hornets!

The Damage:
£10 Ent
£1 programme
= £11

Bishop Auckland 1-1 West Auckland (5-6, pens), Tuesday 15th February 2022

Bishop Auckland 1-1 (5-6, pens) West Auckland, Durham Challenge Cup Quarter Final, Voneus Stadium (Heritage Park), att. 459

The day after Valentine’s Day and it’s a fixture close to home: the Auckland Derby in the Durham Challenge Cup. Bishops, or the Two Blues, 10 time Amateur Cup winners (a record) against the winners of the 1st World Cup (in 1909; look it up.) Or 17th v 5th in the Northern League, so West started as hot favourites.

Parking up right outside the ground, on a grass verge, I was pleased to come across the unique sight (at this level) of a queue at the turnstiles. Obviously this was the place to be of a Tuesday night in ‘Bish’. I’d been putting off my trip all season, partly cos it’s so close to home (I regularly fill up on petrol at the adjacent Sainsbury) and partly cos…well, I’d no real love for Heritage Park, a new build on the edge of town. The Bishops are ground in history (even providing 3 players to Manchester United following the Munich air disaster) but what use history when you’ve lost your town centre ground (shared with the cricket club; what a weird mix of stands and terrace that was) for a ground closer to, ironically, West Auckland?

Heritage Park does have its appeal though. The Main Stand is steep, with the club house at the top, a la Dulwich Hamlet. One would have a superb view up here, stood behind the seats, if not for all the signs forbidding you. Thus a pile of folk stood slightly inside the doors of the club house, blocking each other’s view. To the left is a proper terrace, with cantilevered roof, while quite a few stood on the bank and touchline opposite. Behind the other goal are a couple of hundred open air seats I’ve barely seen used in my 2 visits here.

However, if I’ve ONE reason to return, it’s the creaminess of the Staropramen. Definitely my non-league pint of the season. Is Star to Prague like Guinness is to Dublin? If so, this is the best pint of it this side of Wenceslas Square. I didn’t have to queue either, nipping off a couple of minutes before half-time. It wasn’t till I got my pint in that I realised the game kicked off at 7:45, not 7:30. No wonder the half had gone quickly! Anyway, I was so admiring of that pint, I had to have another (half).

West, another mile or so….west….have been one of the better sides in the Northern League in the last couple of seasons, though their title bid has faltered. Tonite they were comfortably the better side, going ahead with a rifled effort into the top corner from 15 yards. Thereafter, it looked like they were trying to Arsenal it in…tippy-tappying it around the box instead of having a go…and they paid for it when the Two Blues cut inside and found the corner from inside the box. There were 10 minutes left. Do we have extra time or straight to pens?

I had my answer before full-time, as I overheard a fan telling someone Shildon-Crook had gone to penalties in one of the other ties (they kicked off at 7:30). So, having spent the second half in the stand, I had a quick trip to the loo and went and stood behind the goal for the shootout. West won, the duel being bookended by a couple of penalties put wide; unfortunately, Bishops was the last one and West march on to the semis; they’ll fancy their chances, albeit National League North Spennymoor must be clear favourites.

The Damage:
£7 ent
£1.50 prog
£5.80 Staropramen (pint and a half)
= £12.30

The Tunes:
The English Riviera (Metronomy)

*reading the programme, I see West had a 23 year old winger (Adam Mitchell) who made his debut debut for Sunderland in 2013 away at Spurs. Let’s just say I’m surprised I’ve never heard of a player who played in the Premiership at 14…

Consett 0-3 Shildon, Tuesday 18th January 2022

Consett 0-3 Shildon, Durham Challenge Cup 2nd Round, Belle View, att. 354

Consett’s old ground till 2013, Belle Vue Park, looked full of character; at its peak containing two large stands (one later knocked down), plenty of terracing (including paddocks in front of the seating) and banking formed from colliery waste. The new ground, ‘Belle View’ leaves me cold – literally, on a midweek night in January. There are two stands, identical in design if not size, which look like they were delivered by lorry and put up in an afternoon. They probably were. Four rows of seating, low to the pitch. Everything is pristine – but not in a good way. However, with no terracing and a plastic pitch, it is anodyne to say the least.

Any semblance of enjoyment is taken from the quality of the football and the general crowd hubbub (Consett currently being the best-supported side in the Northern League, with an average of over 500. Tonight’s Durham Challenge Cup game brought a lower 354). There’s no worry of matches being postponed, a la the previous ground, and the ball does run smoothly as the home side generally like to pass it around. But am I the only one irritated by the glare of the pitch from the floodlights? Or the lack of anything approaching a tackle? (As I mused the latter, a player finally went through his opposite number to earn a booking.) I was further annoyed by my tea, though I blame myself for this one. I should’ve told her to leave the teabag in, because had I not seen her wringing the thing out in my cup, I’d swear it’d never seen a teabag.

Consequently, I found myself rooting for the Railwaymen of Shildon against the Steelmen. Promoted to the Northern Premier League East this season, Shildon are a division up on tonight’s opponents. Consett, endeavouring to follow in their rivals’ footsteps, have been virtually unbeatable in the Northern League this season and possess crowds far in excess of Shildon. Would home (plastic) advantage be key? No. After an early miss from Consett when the centre forward tried to lift it over the keeper, Shildon ran out comfortable winners, 0-3.

The opener was a deft bullet header from star striker Billy Greulich-Smith. I thought he’d put it wide, as did everyone else judging by the lack of acknowledgement. It was only when the players started celebrating did most of us know different. I’d chosen the wrong end, thinking Consett would put up a fight, so wandered along the touchline to get a closer view of the Shildon attack. There’s a decent gap in the crowd, I thought. Yes – because the bloke nearest appeared to be giving a running commentary on the game. Highly bloody irritating, but he was obviously a regular, knowing all their names. I headed to the (slow) queue for the tea in time to seethe keeper get not quite enough of a paw onto a 20 odd yarder. At least the clubhouse was sizeable, and warm…and pristine. So that was half-time, before Shildon got an early penalty, second half. Game over.

The Damage:
£7 ent
£1.50 programme
£1.20 tea
£0.90 Snickers
= £10.60
The Tunes:
New Long Leg (Dry Cleaning)
Tomorrow’s Harvest (Boards of Canada)