BFC 1-0 Sheffield United, Tuesday 27th August 2024

‘Do you think the Victorians called The Victorian Arcade ‘The Victorian Arcade?’’

The youth didn’t look too healthy. What was he? 17? 18? It was difficult to tell, given that he was leant over the toilet trough, his head leaning against the metal wall, his hands desperately holding on to the ledge of the p***er. I pity the poor lad’s mate who’d have had to take him home, stinking of urine. Please tell me he had a mate. ‘This doesn’t happen in the East Stand’ I said to another smirking middle-aged bloke.

Yes, I was in the Ponty with the idiots last nite. Fancied a change. See how the other half live. And as the Blunts pressed for an equaliser late on, I didn’t know if the fact I could barely see the far end was a help or a hindrance. For the first time in a long time I was actually invested in the result. The team was MAGNIFICENT as it battled to victory against the big city higher division neighbours. Plus they silenced a full away end very early on. I don’t think I could have stood 5,000 crowing Blunts (I said ‘Blunts’, not ...)

I said I was with the idiots. I would have been – but one had already nicked my seat, back row. To hell with it, I’ll go and sit with Wadd. I could be the new Molly! But some others had nicked that seat too. All this in a stand that was less than half full. Still, I’m forever banging on that unreserved seating in the Ponty is at the heart of improving the atmosphere at Oakwell. Well, it did last nite! Mind, if I have one regret, it’s not swapping seats with Wadd at half-time,and given my right ear a break. Christ, he talks, and Christ, very little is about the match in front of him. Molly owes me one.

The opening half undoubtedly belonged to the Blunts, but we held strong, aside from Earl being stripped (he can add ‘left back’ to ‘left wingback’ as positions he’s not suited to. His worst effort was in trying to let the ball out of play, leaving the winger to dance round him and pull the ball back for Billy Blunt to sidefoot off the post from 6 yards. Unmissable. So unmissable, I’d have put money on Devante scoring. Or Dire. Or Dave Regis*. Winnall would have scored it twice. That said, the defence stood tall and happily gave away corners confident they’d head the ball clear. (We had both Pines and Roberts in there; the Blunts meantime had no Kieffer Moore. THAT would have been interesting.)

*I’m aware all 3 share the same ethnicity; this is coincidence. I was just had to find a 3rd after the first 2 trip off my tongue like my own slaver. And now I have to get paranoid cos the word for the spittle that dribbles from your mouth is the same spelling as...anyway, I give up.

I couldn’t see us scoring tho, despite them having Adam Davies in goal. (Yes, THE Adam Davies.) ‘Do we get pens after 90 minutes?’ I asked young Lucas. I was grasping for anything, still thinking if we concede one, we’ll concede 3, 4, 5. If we don’t concede at all, at least we’ll have the opportunity to beat them on pens. And we wouldn’t even have to suffer extra time. My fears were misguided – we were AWESOME (dude) that 2nd half, absolutely awesome.

We were on the front foot from the start, as Cotter rampaged down the right. On current form, he’s a better right winger than Farage. (Where’s he gone? Don’t bother replying.) The goal came courtesy of Bazza too, with a little help from his friends. A beautiful throughball to Phillips, wide right, is returned, low, across goal for Sniffer Watters to bury from 4 yards into an empty net. What a player this Watters bloke is. 2 goals in 2 games, is there no stopping him? (It’s transfer deadline week; can I see a show of hands on who WOULDN’T sell him, if we could, if anyone wanted him, if if...) Great goal.

That was earlyish, 2nd half, but for half an hour we were the better side. Then, with subs on and time ticking…the Blunts sending an SOS to star man Hamer on the bench…from 77 on we were under the cosh. I say 77, cos they had 3 chances in 3 mins. But the defence held out, the midfield never stopped running and the forwards put a shift in. It was like the good old days of a cup upset. Oh, and Max Watters has now scored more winners for Barnsley in derbies than everyone except Jamal Campbell-Ryce. Incredible.

Onwards and upwards!

*** Cotter. 2nd home game in a row he’s been diddled out of MOTM by Phillips. Waddington said it, Darrell, who I met outside, said it, I’m saying it, everyone who saw the game said it. So we took him off an hour or so in (injured?) and we were never the same.
** Roberts. Headed and cleared everything.
* Pines. See above. No wonder we were so keen to let them have corner after corner!

Official MOTM: Phillips

Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Cotter 2. Watters 3. Lofthouse

Despatches:
I’ll not go through the team, the lot of ‘em were heroes. Special mentions to Marsh and Yoganathan as replacements for regulars Cosgrove and whoever plays with Connell in the middle..

But the crowd. If the Blunts brought 5,000 (should be easy to feed; 5 fish and a couple of loaves….or is the other way around?) that means 5,739 Reds fans. Pathetic. I saw on social media folk complaining it was 17 quid. OK, I get that, it could be less. But a league game is 29 quid FFS. I’d have thought 17 was almost good value. It didn’t deter dem blades. Maybe the clue is in being relegated from the Prem. With away allocations last season of 3,000 or less, and a desperation to see their team battered, this probably represented many of their fans with a rare chance of seeing an away game. So the price suited THEM. But perhaps the powers-that-be at Oakwell need to be more in touch with our own fans. (However, we could’ve given tickets away and not got rid of more than 10,000, so it’s a tricky game.) But it was bliss seeing a full, yet silent, away end. Enjoyed that. Well done you Super Reds. 1st home win since February. 1st win against the Blunts since...?

Drink du jour: Paulaner Weissbier (cans of) in Spiral City.

Away: 5,000 (sellout). Looked more, but 5,000 is the only figure I can find.

The Damage:
£17 ent
c. £8 petrol
£3 programme
= £28

Sheffield United 0-6 Arsenal, Monday 4th March 2024

Sheffield United 0-6 Arsenal, FA Premier League, Bramall Lane, att. 29,980.

‘What’s it like to see a decent team?’ texts an Arsenal mate. I should tell him I often see a decent team – every time Man City are on telly. Tonite I’m with a mutual friend, PC Chris (and the ‘PC’ does not stand for ‘politically correct’). He’s back up home on a break due to his shift work and he wonders if I fancy a bit of Blunts v Gunners. Yeah, go on then...been a while since I’ve seen a Premiership game in the flesh.

I’m surprised there are tickets left, but it’s Monday nite, it’s on telly, the Blunts are going down...and the fans are suitably depressed. Oh, and it’s forty four quid. Forty four quid! For little hope of a result. Quietly though, I’m excited, a chance to see a game from a different part of the ground. As an away fan, I’ve spent countless occasions in that there two-tiered stand behind the Bramall Lane goal. So it comes as mild disappointment that that’s exactly where our tickets are, though at least it’s the upper tier, which has a fabulous view. The away fans these days are only given the lower tier.

All hail the view too, as 3 goals in the opening 14 minutes put the game out of reach. Can Arsenal better the 8 (eight) Newcastle put past them at Bramall Lane earlier this season? Sadly not. Nil five, half-time, the Gunners make several substitutions and settle for 6. Indeed, the battering has thousands leaving early. Still, when you have a £100m midfielder against opposition whose whole team didn’t cost that, what do you expect? ‘Best league in the world’ etc.

It’s a(nother) chastening experience for the home faithful, watching a team destined for relegation with over two months of the season left, the desperation most keenly felt by the PA announcer at half-time, exhorting the fans ‘to get behind the team...please’. Still, it was nice to see a decent team. And it was nice to see PC Chris. Commiserations.

The Damage:
£44 ent
c.£10 petrol
= c.£54

Sunderland 1-2 Sheffield United, Wednesday 15th March 2023

Sunderland 1-2 Sheffield United, Championship, Stadium of Light, att. 37,490

Do you remember the days when football was cheap enough that you could attend high level fixtures on a whim? Well, you’d have to be my age, at least. Not that tonite was one of them either, as I paid 29 quid to see what 2nd in the Championship (Sheffield United) looks like. My partner is away with work and I’ve licence to roam….so it’d be a shame to stay in when there’s match down the road. But if I baulk at the admission charge, how many others are put off, or priced out? Obviously not enough, if a crowd of over 37,000 is anything to go by.

And this was a ‘cheap’ ticket. I found myself behind the goal, 3 rows back. Worryingly, my ticket said ‘singing section’. Not much chance of that, though I did enjoy a round of ‘Tony Mowbray’s red and white army (we hate Boro)’ from the stand. The manager is a former legend at local rivals Middlesbrough….though any Mackem will tell you they’re not remotely bothered about Boro. If Sunderland fans aren’t bothered by Boro, why do they keep telling me?

The Blunts (Blades) look a step up in class in the opening 20 minutes. Sunderland can’t get the ball and all the action’s at the far end. Not great when you’re so low down. Why do people LIKE sitting so close to the pitch? I have no idea whether United are 10 yards or 30 yards from goal. Still, I get a great view of Sunderland hitting them on the break and Michut (on loan from PSG) firing across the keeper into the corner. 1-0, completely against the run of play. It stays like this till 1st half injury time. And just as the extra minutes are announced and the Mackems dream of creeping in at half-time with a lead, Sheffield hit back. Looked a smart finish…but I’m miles away.

At the interval I have the obligatory comfort break and marvel at the sweet smell of the toilets. It’s vape heaven for the teenagers, who’ve probably never even heard of smoking. I decant to the stand and wonder whether I can find a seat higher up. Then I notice some fans walking past a steward into the (Main) West Stand. There’s plenty of empty seats in there (and not just in a virtually empty upper tier). I nonchalantly walk past and find a suitable perch with a perspective of the game, not just the pitch. These seats would normally cost THIRTY FIVE QUID. Yes, you read that right. Still, it’s a nice view.

The second half is much more even, but United pinch it with a free kick that everyone misses and it sneaks in at the far post. Berge is offside, and clearly distracting the keeper, but there’s no VAR at this level (though a match in the Czech Republic last week in front of about 600 had it) and the locals are disgruntled. There’s half an hour left, but the home side barely threaten aside from a Roberts 20 yarder which cannons back off the post. This leaves Sunderland 8 points off the play-offs with 9 to play, surely all over. The Blades meantime, taking advantage of Boro (who no Sunderland fan cares about) drawing last night to go 6 points clear in the race for 2nd.

The Damage:
£29 ent
= £29

*pre-match I spent in the Dun Cow in the city centre, a charming Victorian boozer with a cracking selection of beers (and prices to match). Tiny Rebel Peaches and Cream IPA anyone? Followed by a Schneiderweiss, one of my favouritest German wheat beers.

The Tunes:
BBC5Live