BFC 1-0 Middlesbrough, Saturday 22nd February 2020

‘It’s not the weather, it’s the wind’

This is Barnsley.

This game will live long in the annals.  Minutes, maybe even hours.  Because for long periods, simply nothing happened.  Don’t get me wrong, we were trying.  But against an ambitiousless Middlesboro, it was a slog.  The big news was Strudel’s team…a back 3…or was it 5?  Either way, Sollbauer, Jordan Williams and Halme would hold the middle against Boro’s £26m forward line.  Yes, Assombalonga, Fletcher and Guestede would all look very average against our new look defence, who achieved a 2^nd consecutive clean sheet (when, for a second consecutive game, there was no Diaby or Mads).  I love these ‘coincidences’.

The green shoots of a half decent defence.

Assombalonga in particular caught the eye.  The only time he looked interested was the twice he argued over a throw-in.  A throw-in, FFS!  Fans who think our fabulously wealthy owners should chuck the cash around ought to be careful what they wish for: Assombalaonga cost £15 million.  Even Fletcher, who we think of fondly after being with us in the 3^rd division, gets brickbats for being a ‘bit soft’.  For £7m, north-eastern folk expect their forwards to at least ‘put it about a bit’.  He took the ‘a bit’ literally.  What a waste of space.

The lack of pedestrians signalling my lateness.

Course, this is to undermine the fabulousness of our new-look defence who restricted Boro to precisely ZERO shots on target.  Zero.  I could have done with a couple, just to make it interesting, but they were nothing.  Whisper it, but despite being 5 points shy of safety, we have a CHANCE.  In recent weeks I have seen Huddersfield be bloody awful, Washday be bloody average and Boro be bloody disinterested.  Add the fact Dull City have just sold their only two players and are without a win in 2020, and they’re ripe for the taking on Wednesday.  Even Malik Wilks gets a game there (and I’d let him play against us, too).

The old Main Stand.

Mind, against a team so devoid of attacking intent as Boro, we only needed the one goal.  And for all of Jacob Brown’s keen running, it was arch poacher Chaplin who bagged.  As the pullback came to him, he put his foot on the ball while all around panicked.  Just like Huddersfield (I think it was Huddersfield).  Only this time, instead of calmly stroking it home, he played a 1-2 off the bar and put in the rebound.  Who says we never get any luck?  The result was never in doubt.

Onwards and upwards!

*** Jordan Williams.  Looked better for being in a back 3 than his normal right back spot.    

** Sollbauer.  Imagine where we’d be if we’d got rid of the Chuckle Brothers earlier and had this guy in?

* Halme.  Porthos, Athos, and now Aramus.  The 3 musketeers did a grand job today.

ps, who was the official MOTM?  I was there and I can’t remember.  Sollbauer?  (It was Ludewig.)

Londontykes' MOTM: 1. Sollbauer  2. Brown  3. Ludewig

One of them seasons Boro arrive in numbers.

Despatches:
I’m not normally any good at getting my round in at the Old Number 7, normally saving myself for the mortgage-threatening likes of the Sheffield Tap, or the Parcel Yard in Kings X.  So how I laughed when I took a turn this week and Reedy ordered a pint of Northern Monk and was warned it was expensive.  Expensive?  £6.50.  ‘Do you have a matchday drinkers badge?’  ‘Yes I do – on my other coat’.  Luckily, the barmaid took pity (Nozzer wasn’t there, with his discount card) and gave me the 10% off.  I mean, it was nice – but not six pounds fifty nice.  Reedy went back to Acorn blonde when it was his round…

The players?  Oh yeah, they all played well.  But if anyone should be in that top 3 who wasn’t, it’s Jacob Brown.  It’s not just that he runs around, he runs around with PURPOSE.  And while he’s not bagged the goals of Chaplin or Woodrow, he’s a big reason why those 2 are bagging.  He’s already in my top 100 all-time list of favourite Barnsley players (Waddington actually wrote one last week; Clarke Oduor is #85 and rising!)

...shame they didn't stay.

Drink du jour: Weihenstephaner in #7, Leffe on train. 

Away: 3,999.  To begin with, anyway.

The Damage:
£35 train
£3 programme
= £38

The Tunes:
Con Todo El Mundo (Khruangbin)
Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots (The Flaming Lips)

East Stand panorama

Into the light of Oakwell

The Boro coaches (and a February ad for Xmas trees!)

Let's be upstanding for the Reds' goalscorer!

BFC 1-1 Sheffield Wednesday, Saturday 8th February 2020

‘Don’t ask for permission.  Beg for forgiveness.’

Barnsley v Washday panorama.

What to make of yesterday?  Are we in last chance saloon yet?  Is every game ‘must win’?  Another chance goes begging, as we are the better team throughout (whilst still giving Washday chances).  Still, at least we didn’t lose to our big city betters.  But with 15 matches left and 7 points adrift of the magical 21^st position we all dream about, time is starting to run out.

A well populated fanzone pre-match.

What to make of Washday?  They already have at least 4 centre forwards earning small fortunes, so they go and get another one in the transfer window, Conor Wickham of Palace.  Are Fletcher, Winnall, Rhodes and Nuhiu not enough?  How can they afford it?  Oh, yeah – they can’t.  Hence the sale of the ground by the owners to the owners and subsequent dodgy accounting.  Plus harebrained schemes like this https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/51129422 The Washday fans we spoke to on the train afterwards were convinced they’ll be deducted 21 points, thereby putting them in the relegation zone with us.  All the more reason for us to carry on battling.  We might get lucky, finish 3^rd off bottom and still not be relegated.

The teams line up.

Sadly, ‘Super Sammy’ Winnall / Sammy the Snake (delete as applicable) couldn’t even make their bench.  We could have done with a bit of spice to the match, as the atmosphere for the most part was a bit dead, only livening up in the last 20 minutes as we went looking for a winner, and nearly giving Wednesday theirs.

As ever, a defensive balls-up gave them the lead, as the white spherical thing pinballed between Thomas and Mads before rolling kindly for another new Washday signing, Windass, to beat Collins on his near post.  I’ll be generous and say it was bloody unlucky.  But we can give the opposition a goal from anywhere, while we normally have to work very hard for ours, so it came as a pleasant surprise to see us equalise 8 minutes later in hilarious circumstances.

The Super Reds attack a corner.

Their keeper comes out for the ball and attempts to clear, left footed.  However, the ball just rolls 15 yards forward, straight to Woodrow, who hits it straight back into an empty net from 35 yards.  Have they just signed one of our keepers?  I don’t think I’ve seen this kind of goal (live) in my life…now I’ve seen 3 this season.  Is it modern football, every backstop thinking he’s a ‘sweeper keeper’?  Anyway, it’s an absolute gift.  We then go close when Chaplin hits a snapshot straight at the keeper, while Brown burst past 2 players and tried to put it between the keeper’s legs.  Unfortunately, the keeper spread himself well and saved.  Collins has not made a save at this point.

Looking towards the away end, pre-match.

Second half, nothing happens for 20 minutes, then we start playing all these one-twos and generally taking Washday apart…without getting the final ball right.  How many times did we engineer great situations, only for…anyway, fair play to Washday, who got men back, made blocks, and made it difficult for our forwards to find space.

Still, coulda been worse.  A break from them ended with a volley wide, while in injury time they broke clear…oh no, here we go again…but Collins saved the one-on-one.  Phew.  Now we only had to worry about getting a train to Sheffield with the Great Unwashed.  Hopefully they’ll get their points deduction and go down with us.  They certainly looked relegation fodder (but not as bad as Huddersfield).

Onwards and upwards!

Pre-match entertainment from local band Rosadocs (terrible name).

*** Brown.  He was everywhere against his former team (who released him, age 14).  Won every header, his movement pulled players all over the place, and he has strength, pace and awareness of where his teammates are.

** Oduor.  Looked a lot more confident than last week.  Pulled their right back this way and that.  Sponsors’ MOTM.

* Woodrow.  No-one else would have scored that goal.

Londontykes' MOTM: 1. Brown 2. Woodrow  3. Oduor

Despatches:
Madswatch: Aside from his role in their goal, a couple of other starring moments from our worst centre half since Diaby.  2^nd half, he ends up wrong side of Conor Wickham on the halfway line and spends 50 yards trying to catch up with the slowest…sorry, second slowest…player on the pitch.  Luckily Washday messed up the attack.  1^st half, Mads goes to cover Oduor, but ends up being skinned by their player, who delivers a cross into our box.  Thankfully, we had men back.  However, overall, he had his least worst game in a while, even sometimes heading the ball properly (though not every time).  I still couldn’t help but think Washday’s best chance was to punt the ball in his vicinity.

The Ponty, pre-match.  (I forgot to take a pic during.)

The other centre half (Sollbauer?  Beckenbauer?) had his best game yet, and almost looked like a footballer.  Almost.  Jordan Williams looked comfortable, and certainly made one excellent covering tackle.  Mowatt divided opinion.  I thought he was alright, playing in a more defensive role.  Simoes improved as the game went on, after initially being bullied by their HUGE right back.  At one point he had a 10 yard headstart, and this 9 foot defender caught him within another 10.  (As I said tho, this defender looked lost when a player twisted and turned against him.)  Thomas had his moments, before Styles came on and had his moments – my favourite being when he controlled a ball 25 yards out, only to look up and see the keeper right in front of him.  WTF was the keeper doing?  Anyway, he scurried back, while Styles lost it dribbling.  Chaplin had a quiet game, and he too was withdrawn after 68 for Bahre (remember him?)  Even Schmidt came on with about 10 minutes left, showing that Strudel was at least TRYING to win the game (if putting on a chocolate fireguard of a centre forward can be deemed ‘trying to win the game’).  

The reason we never kick-off at 3pm in home derbies.

Drink du jour: A nice bottle of Merlot, inbetween a wheat beer in the Sheffield Tap and whatever we had at St. Pancras ‘spoons.

Away: 4,999.  Capacity (courtesy of SYP not letting us sell the full end)

The Damage:

£35 train

£3 prog

= £38

The Tunes:
Angel Dust (Faith No More)
Pink Me Up – A Sabrettes Compilation (Various)

Did I fall asleep on way home?  Of course.  Walked part the way back from Honor Oak, but did see a fox scampering across the road into Peckham Rye, which was nice.

A panorama from The Ponty (cheers Jonesy!)

Halfway to Paradise.

Celebrating our history in the East Stand.

The teams come out, flags are waved.

Welcome to Peckham.  Home sweet home.

Charlton Athletic 2-1 BFC, Saturday 1st February 2020

‘Reserved for Nigel and grandad at 1:15’

Welcome to ....

I love being spoilt for choice.  Was I angriest today at a) our 1^st half ineptitude b) the refereeing ‘performance’ or c) the gamesmanship/outright cheating of Charlton Athletic under (Dirty) Lee(ds) Bowyer.  Or d) the s*** pub I went to?  Yes, on the whole, I think the Addicks win by a nose, from the ref, as he was the one bloke who could have done something about it.  We saw all this last time we were at The Valley.  So how comes the man in black can’t see it?

Lions led by donkeys...or something.

Charlton, two up at half time, fell down 5 times in the first 20 minutes of the second half, looking for free kicks and treatment to hold up play.  It is the most INFURIATING thing, as your team is actively searching for a goal and all the opposition do is try to break up play illegally.  Of course, the ref bought the lot, even managing to book Chaplin for pointing out Chorlton’s tactics.  Funnily enough, this ruse stopped the moment the ref DIDN’T stop play for one of theirs being down, and you know what….said bloke jumped up and sprinted 50 yards to get into the action.  Charlton, under Lee Bowyer, simply try and CHEAT their way to victory.

A proper player.

At least the ref didn’t buy the so-bad-it-was-good dive in our box, arched back and all with nobody near him.  The ‘dive as an afterthought’ dive.  Did the ref book him?  Did the linesman call the ref back to issue the yellow?  Do bears s*** on Mars?  No, of course not.  Lyall Taylor got in on the act (for it was an act), goading the Reds fans behind the goal.  Listen, I’ve no qualms about that.  Let him.  He was so intent on winding us up he didn’t see his own corner had been taken at one point.  So why Jonesy is trying to report him to the stewards for incitement, I don’t know.  Fortunately, he’d already been beaten to it.  Later, I took amusement in counting aloud the number of seconds the keeper held the ball.  13 seconds was his best effort, 11 his worst.  Why is the 6 second rule simply NEVER enforced?  (The ref ‘had a word’ with the keeper in the 90^th minute and said keeper then took the best part of 30 seconds taking a deadball.  My Lord.)

No, it can't REALLY be called that...(yes it is).

A proper fight broke out in the stands, where stewards and our hoi polloi had a square-off, while Pompey Ian and Loko had a 20 minute row/discussion with the bloke behind on our transfer policy, or lack thereof.  Anyone would think we were losing for all the bad karma present.  Oh, yeah, we were.  Another ball into our box not won, another flick on, another static defence, another goal.  We have a new man in at centre half, Sollbauer (yeah, I looked it up.  SO?) and he blended in perfectly today.  He’s just as s*** as the rest.  Still, half-time is approaching, no worries.  So we concede another from a high cross into our box as our defenders SIMPLY CANNOT CLEAR A BALL.  When was the last time a centre half of ours headed a ball 20 odd yards from inside his own box?  Problies the season before last, come to think of it (and we went down then as well).  Charlton score from the loose ball.  The more games Diaby misses, the better he looks.

Charlton celebrate scoring.

I presume Strudel had a few things to say at half time, cos once we’d got to grips with Chorlton’s play antics, we absolutely murdered them.  We hit the post, the bar, had one cleared off the line, and Brown cleared the bar with the easiest of the lot.  That we lost was entirely of our own making, Halme also hitting the post off a rebound, 1^st half, when it looked easier to score.  At least we still have  Woodrow, who lashed the ball in from wide right past a startled keeper into the far corner.  Great hit, but reward for the 70 yard run upfield by Thomas.  Later, as the keeper reacted smartly to clear a Mads effort with his arm, Cauley hit the rebound too true, off the floor, then the bar.  He’s too good.  Anyone else would’ve skied it. 

Reds attack, 2nd half.

So, there it is.  I thought today was last chance saloon, not a game we could afford to lose, but we did.  We’re now 7 points off safety…but with 2 home games against Washday (on a bad run, but perennial bogey side) and Brum (useless), we could…could…bag 6 points.  We just need to find a centre half, any centre half.  There must be one somewhere…mustn’t there?  (Just don’t suggest to Loko that we get Paul McShane back.)

Onwards and upwards!

*** Thomas.  Ran at them all day.  If only he had a right foot…he wouldn’t be playing for us! 

** Woodrow.  Feed Cauley and he will score.  Some good forward passes from midfield too.

* Simoes.  Again looked promising when he came on in attack.

Londontykes' MOTM: TBA

You Reds!

Despatches:

Pre-match, I met up with fabled Oakwell historian Dave Wood in Plumstead to stare at a ‘field’ of concrete where Barnsley once upon a time played a few games at Woolwich Arsenal.  Apparently, one reason for them moving was cos some banking (which covered a pipe used for fecal matter) offered an excellent view of the pitch for free.  The banking is still there, nowadays offering a superb view of adjacent HMP Belmarsh.  I need to get out more.  Or less.  We then met up with Nice Guy Chris to peruse the Charlton Athletic museum, which certainly beat drinking craft ales in Deptford with the rest of the Londontykes (!)

One highlight tho was meeting Jonesy and his Pa outside the ground, midday, there to pick up their tickets off Loko, who was making a detour cos the Reds Box Office hadn’t bothered actually posting his/our match tickets out.  So you can imagine my mirth when I met Jonesy again at half 2, trying to pick the tickets up again.  Charlton couldn’t/wouldn’t reprint them till 1pm, valuable drinking time for Loko.  So one of them went back to the pub, the other went back to cook his family bacon sandwiches in Sidcup.  Everything that can go wrong, etc

The Valley in its full glory.

Woody, Chrissy and I decided to drink more locally – we walked to the Hope and Anchor on the Thames, 4.4 out of 5 on Google.  I cannot remember when I last went to such a s*** pub.  (Note to self: find a new word for s***.  This report is far too liberally sprinkled with this term.  But if one word summed up my day….)  To be fair, the pub looked the part, all traditional like, but the choice of beers was a bit poor.  So I pointed at some pumps and asked what was on them.  ‘Nothing.’  Ok.  I’ll…err….have an Estrella.  No you won’t, off.  Go on then, a fruit cider.  I’m getting desperate.  ‘Also off.  But I can add some blackcurrant to the ordinary cider’ said a barman without a hint of humour.  I passed on that, but took my pint of Aspinalls to an empty table…to find it was ‘booked from 1:15pm’, as were the other empty tables in there.  This is one of the scourges of modern society.  Booking tables in PUBS.  Worse, at about 10 past, our barman comes over and tells us the geezer is now in.  WELL, I COULD NOT GIVE A FLYING F***.  The piece of paper on the table says ‘1:15’ and I would love it, absolutely love it, if anyone came over wanting the table before then.  We supped up and were out by 1:14.  It still managed to get worse though, as I took Chris to the Rose of Denmark (only 4.3 on Google, meaning it’s even worse) but they wouldn’t let us in cos we were northern.  Fair enough.  Solace came in the chance to try out that fish and chip shop outside the ground and stand around for 45 minutes in the wind waiting for my ticket to arrive.  I felt sorry for the octogenarian serving.  Anaemic chips, no mushy peas.  Decent fish tho, I’ll give her that.

Pre-match chippy queue.

The players?
Radlinger came and caught everything (if by ‘everything’ I mean ‘nothing’.)  Oduor s*** himself (damn, that word again) every time he had possession and faced an opponent.  Jordan Williams chased back 60 yards to make one tackle.  Halme and Mads swapped positions at half time, with the result Halme looked a better centre half than Mads and Mads looked a half decent midfield player (I kid you not).  Chaplin and Brown ran around causing havoc 2^nd half, while Mowatt was strangely muted.  Probably sulking no-one bought him in January.

ps, did I mentioned I biked it today?  Not entirely on purpose, morning chores meant I'd miss my train from Peckham.  Still, only half an hour from The Valley to home.  There's one shining light on today.

Drink du jour: A lonely pint of cider.

Away: 1,084

The Damage:£12 ent (BOGOF on £24 tickets.  Well done Charlton!)
£3 prog
£2 fanzine
= £17

The Tunes:
Hippopotamus (Sparks)
Intro – the Gift Recordings (Pulp)
Claustrophobia (Scuba)
Con Todo El Mundo (Khruangbin)
Crystal Castles (Crystal Castles)

The Valley panorama.

Behind the 'Covered End'

League 1 play-off trophy in their museum.

It was nice to see something worthwhile today....

Good use of empty seats.

What used to be the biggest side of The Valley.

Woolwich Arsenal v Barnsley,  back in the day.