Swindon Town 0-1 BFC, Saturday 30th January 2016

‘Don’t sell Winnall, Sammy Winnall
I just don’t think you understand
That if you sell Winnall, Sammy Winnall
You’re gonna have a riot on your hands’

Welcome to ....

This little ditty has been going round and round my head all weekend.  Goalscoring wunderkind Super Sammy Winnall (SSW) has only gone and done it again, scoring his 9^th goal in 5 games to ensure a deserved, if late, victory at Swindon.  Can anyone stop him since yours truly bet a tenner he’d not get to 20 goals this season?

Well, seems there is hope.  Dirty Leeds have only gone and made a bid.  How much can we rob them?  And will we have Slacki cheering on his goals for DL in hope of winning his money?  Do Leeds realise they’ll need to buy Marley Watkins as well, if Winnall is to function?  Still, class is permament, form temporary; let’s sell him now while the going’s good!

The Arkell's Stand

In more betting news, I have deviated from my normally pessimistic stance;  I heard pre-match we were 33s for promotion; I thought this a decent bet, given our current form. All we need to do is sneak into the play-offs…. Anyway, Pompey offered me 100/1, so I’ve put a pound on and he says he’ll be delighted to pay out.  (I’ve got to scrape back that Winnall cash somehow.)

To the game.  Good pre-match, a decent turnout in the Glue Pot and it’s real ale. And a tremendously hungover Jack, with tales of his latest ‘conquest’.  No Selwood though.  Rumour had it that he’d hired a classic car for Le Weekend and it had broken down.  Classic.  But Molly had come down to celebrate his birthday and BFC made it go with a bang.

The gladiators enter the arena

We bossed the 1^st half.  I’ve no idea how we didn’t score, but it struck me that if we have the same chances at Fleetwood, we’re going to Wembley.  Watkins had a one-on-one saved; same for Hourihane on the left.  Winnall headed over from Hourihane’s drilled-in cross.  Mawson jinked his way past a defender and hammered one narrowly over; Brownhill ‘Ronaldo’d’ a free kick narrowly over, stabbing it into the floor and making it dip suddenly, while Hourihane blazed a free kick out of the ground, after I’d confidently predicted which seat in row Z he would hit.  (Actually, it narrowly cleared the bar, bounced up the steps behind the goal and dribbled out of through an exit.)  So, somehow 0-0 at the break.

After the interval we allowed Swindon some kicks of the ball.  We stopped giving the ball to Isgrove, our main threat 1^st half, and let Swindon come on to us. Even then, Davies only had one half decent stop to make at his near post.  With tremendous backing from the away support, on came Josh Scowen for the disappointing Fletcher.  And who was that, whipping in a teasing cross which missed everyone apart from SSW who banged it home with the confidence of a Young Jack in a field in Barnsley, midweek?

The County Ground, bathed in sunshine

A few minutes remained and Swindon came at us, once.  A ball was laid back and with the goal gaping, that man Scowen threw himself across to block the shot (I’m cheating here, I thought it was a centre half, but it looked like Scowen on TV).  We appear to have a TEAM willing to do whatever is necessary to win a game.  Were we lucky? Well, wasn’t it Gary Player who once said ‘Yes.  And the harder I work, the luckier I get.’  Well done BFC, a tremendous victory.

*** Watkins. 

** Isgrove.  

* Scowen.

Londontykes' Top 3:
1. Watkins / Isgrove
3. Mawson / Brownhill  

Despatches:

Drink du jour: Verdett Belgian witte bier in the pub, followed by a disappointing array of strong but s*** lager.  Kroney, Stella and something Polish on the train. 

Away: 477.  Great atmosphere from the off.  Made a change standing at the back with the vocalites.  Andy and I still can’t bring ourselves to join in anything approaching worship of Little Lee though.  All he’s doing is what we said he should have done months ago.  (Bah humbug).  You know, 2 up top, others joining in the attack, kicking the ball forwards not sideways, etc

The Damage:
30 travel
25 ent
3.80 an abysmal hotdog which had obviously been sitting for a while.  40 mins in and the ‘steak and ale pie’ had run out.  I’ll try not to let it ruin my day.

I don't miss that away end.  In winter.  With horizontal snow.

Hometime.

It's cosy in 'ere.

Magnificent silhouettes

Behind the goal, pre-match

Back of the Arkell's

BFC 4-1 Swindon Town, Saturday 12th September 2015

‘We score when we want….’

Oakwell...the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow

What a weird game.  I could say it was just like the old days, as an enterprising opposition coming to play football were rewarded for their open play by being caned by the Super Reds.  Swindon should’ve done what Shrewsbury did last week and just sit in their own half waiting for us to get impatient, then pick us off.  But I fast forward…
We arrive to find that we think we’re Spain, Lee Johnson electing to go without a centre forward.  This actually pays dividends later, as Shrewsbury refuse to play any centre halves and let Marley Watkins run through unchallenged for our equaliser.  Hilariously, he was so alone he even had time to look behind him for a defender and/or an offside flag.  None came, cool finish.  Then Williams (crazy start, lost the ball loads but ran around like  madman trying to make up for it) gets injured and Winnall gets to take his rightful place offside.  (Sorry, cheap dig, I don’t think he was offside on Satdy).

Defence and attack await a corner

But that is to ignore one of the single most entertaining debuts I have ever seen in a Reds shirt – step forward (not TOO far!) the keeper, Townsend.  I’ll be honest, I know nowt about him.  A free transfer from Brum or somewhere? He is CALAMITOUS.  A poor man’s Manuel Neuer, he races out of goal so often he needs to be put on a lead.  Early doors he sprints out twice, they round him, yet fail to score.  He couldn’t even get a connection on their player(s), which would have been a straight red.  He makes it a hattrick by coming out for a ball he’d no right to get…Nyatanga nods it gently (presumably hoping the keeper has stayed back, cos Lewin himself is under pressure) and the ball TRICKLES into the net.  Comical.  In the second half, Townsend finds himself in the LEFT BACK spot and the forward is so confused he elects to square it (to a Reds player) rather than simply kick it into an empty onion bag.  So there’s at least 3 more goals the Robins should’ve scored.  I say GET HIM IN EVERY GAME.

The Red Red Robins (not bob-bob-bobbin)

Still, we go into half time 2-1 up when Swindon show no intention of closing Wabara down from right back and he unleashes an absolutely BEAST of a shot from 25+ yards.  It was a cruise missile of an effort, rather than the scuds we’re used to (I remember one Winnall effort barely making the goal).

Second half, we crush them.  High on the press, their defenders make the same mistake we used to (still do?) of trying to pass it around beyond their ability.  In particular, our attacking midfield make monkeys of them and Hourihane sets up a Nyatanga header from a lovely inswinging cross which wasn’t even a deadball.  Go Conor!  Go Lewin!  Then, just as I thought Scowen got his just desserts for a strong run into the box, taking it past the last defender to score with his left, it hits the keeper, loops onto the bar and Hourihane is there to tap home.  (I believe the bloke behind him was wearing a red shirt too.  Men in the box!  Imagine!)
Someone (Winnall?) misses a late tap in for 5-1 and you have to wonder what happened today.  It was one of those days when it all came right in the end. 

I think it says 4-1 to Barnsley.

*** Hourihane.  Twitter MOTM.  In an attacking performance from the team, here comes our lynchpin.  Back to form?  Whatever, 1^st goal from open play this season and a constant threat.
** Scowen.  Maybe I’m biased, but he looks a different player when he’s allowed to run at the opposition.  
* Watkins.  3^rd is a difficult choice, but given we won it from attacking midfield, I’ll give it to the 3^rd of our maestros.   
Londontykes' Top 3:
1. Hourihane
2. Scowen
3. Harris

Despatches:Whatthehell has Davies done to get dropped? Produce a worldy last week?  Was he injured (but he was on the bench)?  Unbelievable, Jeff.   Surely you need a keeper with confidence and dropping him after last week isn’t the way to do it.  Good to see Smith back at left back, though he was helping the centre halves out so often he MUST have been under instruction.  Too often, Swindon had a spare man wide right, but an inability to give the ball to him.  I see Roberts was dropped too, despite 4 of you Londontykes making him 2^nd last week!  Listen, blond hair and long throw doth not a footballer make.  I still have no opinion on Mawson other than he does the simple things well, cos he had nowt to do.  And as I say, when they attacked, Smith seemed to join him as much as Nyatanga who deserves a mention purely for being the goal threat he is.  2 today!  Pearson was more prominent than last week, but still hasn’t reached his early heights.  If ANYONE is the new Lumsden, it’s him. Wabara, like Mawson, nowt to do.  Harris threatened spontaneously, while Winnall…didn’t.

Drink du jour: wheat beer in the pubs and a choice of vodka and orange or spiced rum and coke on the train, where we were joined by that rarest of breeds, a reasonable Blunts fan.  I had no idea Chris Morgan was held in such high esteem!

Away: 381.  
Oh, and at least I made it to the couch before falling asleep this week.  I knew I was drunk though, cos I could swear I saw Chris O'Grady taking someone apart on that sh*tar5e channel 5 highlights prog, before sleep befell me. Woke up about 6am and was ordered to feed the cat his breakfast before I could go to bed.
You Reds!!!!!!!!

The Damage:
25 train
3 prog
42 shirt
20 shorts

Less than 8000 home fans today...and it showed

Swindon Town 2-0 Barnsley, Saturday 7th February 2015

"My grapes are like rhubarb."

Welcome to Swindon!

I can't really disagree with Andy's concise version of events.  We entered the game with the minimum of ambition and the game plan lasted all of 14 minutes before they scored and ended any hope we had. Thereafter, it was damage limitation as we chased shadows, Turnbull saved a penalty and a one-on-one and the closest we came to a goal was a 4 on 1 break which we completely ballsed up.

*** No-one
** Turnbull - see above
* No-one

Londontykes top 3:
1. Turnbull
2. No-one
3. M'Voto

One satisfied customer...

Despatches:
Waring - he's cack.  Can't win a header,or hold a ball up (apart from when I'm not looking - Andy couldn't wait to point out something useful he did, but I was texting Salisbury at the time).  And the one time a peach of a cross was delivered into the box (from Smith) he was nowhere to be seen.  I must see a different player to the rest of you (and Danny Wilson).  As Andy said, new superstar Scowan was so invisible he could have been mistaken for Berry, the man he's replaced. Indeed, I didn't know he was playing till I noticed his number, 70 minutes in.  Digby really was appalling, so much so he got dragged off at half time.  So much for giving him a run of games - we can't even trust to give him 90 minutes.  At least Wilson finally benched Hourihane but then brought him on for 45 anonymous minutes of his own.  When we had the 4 on 1 break, thanks to a misplaced Swindon pass, I presume it was Conor who elected to cut inside and hit it with his left off the defender, rather than pass it to any of the THREE other Reds players who'd have been clean through? Lalkovic again looked our most likely attacker, so again was dragged off.  Did I mention Jennings came on?  You'd never have known.  Smith was this week given a runout in midfield. How's he ever gonna learn to be a fullback at this rate?

A rabbit died for that hat.  True.

The vocal element were in no doubt as to our downfall, chanting "4-4-2, 4-4-2" at Wilson. Seemingly, 8-1-1 is not a formation which offered much chance of a goal.  Mind, Swindon are the best side I've seen this season (home and away) and perhaps 'having a go' might have resulted in us losing by 5 or 6.  Then what?  Sam Winnall was also more popular than ever, by dint of never even getting on the pitch.  The more matches he misses, the better he becomes.  He'll be the new Marco Van Basten by April.

Oh yes, the goals.  Swindon took a short corner and their player waltzed past Digby and Smith before pulling it back for it to be hammered in. Oats so simple.  Then Digby chops their bloke in the box, but Turnbull pulls off the save (highlight of the match) before, late on, spilling a 20 yarder into the net. Shame, he was the one player keeping us in it.

I once sat here, in the away end.

Drink du jour: Lager lager lager.  Started at the Gluepot, then a cheeky Franziskaner (wheat beer) at the Jury's Inn on the way to the ground.  Bit of a result that.  Then back to the pub at the railway station, to ignore the rugby, before a can or 2 on the way home.  And yes, despite dashing home once at Paddington, I fell asleep on the bus and ended up at New Cross.  What do you call that sleeping disease?  Opposite of insomnia?  Anyway, I've got it. BUS NARCOLEPSY!  Summat like that.

Away: c.300  Good to see Stu be allowed a runout, as well as Loko, popping in on the way back from the Wales-England rugby. I wonder which he enjoyed more!?

Damage: 
30 quids train fare. Robbed.
25 quids entry.  Robbed.

I once sat here, in the away end.

I once stood here, in the away end.

Game over.

Barnsley 0-3 Swindon Town, Saturday 27th September 2014

‘The cage might be open but the beast is asleep.’

3 matches I’ve seen.  3 defeats.  It just gets worse.  Particularly of concern is that no matter how well Turnbull plays in goal, we are leaking all over the place.  From where I’m sitting, we’re carrying 3 of a 4 man defence.  And I can’t blame the foetus that is Bree – he’s only 16.  (Says a lot for Brown, who he replaced).   So I’ll concern myself with the other 2.

Dudgeon – Slacki was spitting feathers at this guy’s awfulness on Saturday.  Interesting that the Robins targeted him and not the aforesaid 16 year old.  All 3 (that number again!) goals came from Dudgeon’s side.  #1, their guy cuts inside and he’s somehow clean through, 10 yards out and sidefoots home. Where’s everyone else?  Well, actually, the rest of the defence is all there – but they’ve retreated at such a rate of knots that they’ve ran past this bloke and are standing marking nobody.

#2, same again, only this time their player has to pass the ball to an unmarked individual, while Nyatanga belatedly goes across to cover.  #3 is a comedy in its own right, as we cede possession direct from kick off (Dudgeon managing to keep the ball in, only for their winger to nick it and sprint 50 yards clear). The cross then hits a defender and falls nicely into the path of a Townie to knock home.  Cue boos and and a semi-mass walkout.  Talk about history repeating itself, it was only a fortnight since MK stuck 5 past us.

I dunno who it was asked, but ‘why are left backs so s***?’  Good question.  I don’t think we’ve had a decent left back since Chris Barker (and Slacki will argue over that one too, tho at least he brought in £600k!)  Kennedy, McEveley, Heckingbottom, Williams,…Gibbs.  And that’s not even mentioning the ones on loan (Dickenson, Andy Holt…anymore?)  That is 14 years of unbroken sh*teness.  I heard someone say the on-loan Dudgeon ‘wasn’t Premiership class’.  Well, at this rate, he’s not even 3^rd division class.  Like the bunch mentioned, he’s heading towards non-league obscurity, or eking out a career at Port Vale (who’re higher than us in the table, at least).

Then there’s Lewin Bl**dy Nyatanga, who, for me, is the invisible man.  How does a centre half manage to be so anonymous?  I realise one or 2 on here love him to bits cos he’s not ‘Captain Fantastic’ but what I want in a defender is the ability to defend.  Or at least organise the ones around him to do it. Nyatanga does neither.  That’s 10 conceded in 3 games and he’s been the one constant.  Apart from his non-existence, my favourite bit of Nyatanganism on Satdy was when he went out wide left to head a ball and he somehow headed it into our own area.  So, out of position AND doing their job for them. Get rid.

As a team, apart from an inability to pass, head, tackle, shoot, etc, the one big problem appears to be the team’s lack of pace.  Swindon..and Port Vale…and MK…were just too fast for us.  Oddly, the only time we looked anything like was when he brought on the fatboys...Treacy and Jennings….and even then we went from 0-1 to 0-3.  There aren’t many things more demoralising in life than having Swindon fans sing ‘we score when we want’ at you.  Thank god they only wanted 3.

*** Turnbull.  Sponsors MOTM.  3 fantastic saves, otherwise…well, we’d have lost by even more than we did.

** No-one.  F*** em.

* ditto.

Despatches:
Perhaps playing 3 forwards wasn’t the way forward (sorry!)  We looked a lot more balanced as an attacking unit once he took one of them off (along with defensive midfield ‘lynchpin’ Crainie).  Yet still we only forced 2 real saves the whole match, though M’Voto missed a great chance early doors, ghosting in late from a free kick to sky it.

Drink du jour:

By my reckoning I had 8 pints and a fair share of vodka and JD on the train.  Proof that I’m not built for this was falling asleep on the bus and finding myself in Clapham Park.  Again.  Cue a walk and a bus back where I’m recognised by an ex pupil who asked ‘are you drunk?’  As if.  I was way beyond drunk….

Away: 486