Consett 0-3 Shildon, Tuesday 18th January 2022

Consett 0-3 Shildon, Durham Challenge Cup 2nd Round, Belle View, att. 354

Consett’s old ground till 2013, Belle Vue Park, looked full of character; at its peak containing two large stands (one later knocked down), plenty of terracing (including paddocks in front of the seating) and banking formed from colliery waste. The new ground, ‘Belle View’ leaves me cold – literally, on a midweek night in January. There are two stands, identical in design if not size, which look like they were delivered by lorry and put up in an afternoon. They probably were. Four rows of seating, low to the pitch. Everything is pristine – but not in a good way. However, with no terracing and a plastic pitch, it is anodyne to say the least.

Any semblance of enjoyment is taken from the quality of the football and the general crowd hubbub (Consett currently being the best-supported side in the Northern League, with an average of over 500. Tonight’s Durham Challenge Cup game brought a lower 354). There’s no worry of matches being postponed, a la the previous ground, and the ball does run smoothly as the home side generally like to pass it around. But am I the only one irritated by the glare of the pitch from the floodlights? Or the lack of anything approaching a tackle? (As I mused the latter, a player finally went through his opposite number to earn a booking.) I was further annoyed by my tea, though I blame myself for this one. I should’ve told her to leave the teabag in, because had I not seen her wringing the thing out in my cup, I’d swear it’d never seen a teabag.

Consequently, I found myself rooting for the Railwaymen of Shildon against the Steelmen. Promoted to the Northern Premier League East this season, Shildon are a division up on tonight’s opponents. Consett, endeavouring to follow in their rivals’ footsteps, have been virtually unbeatable in the Northern League this season and possess crowds far in excess of Shildon. Would home (plastic) advantage be key? No. After an early miss from Consett when the centre forward tried to lift it over the keeper, Shildon ran out comfortable winners, 0-3.

The opener was a deft bullet header from star striker Billy Greulich-Smith. I thought he’d put it wide, as did everyone else judging by the lack of acknowledgement. It was only when the players started celebrating did most of us know different. I’d chosen the wrong end, thinking Consett would put up a fight, so wandered along the touchline to get a closer view of the Shildon attack. There’s a decent gap in the crowd, I thought. Yes – because the bloke nearest appeared to be giving a running commentary on the game. Highly bloody irritating, but he was obviously a regular, knowing all their names. I headed to the (slow) queue for the tea in time to seethe keeper get not quite enough of a paw onto a 20 odd yarder. At least the clubhouse was sizeable, and warm…and pristine. So that was half-time, before Shildon got an early penalty, second half. Game over.

The Damage:
£7 ent
£1.50 programme
£1.20 tea
£0.90 Snickers
= £10.60
The Tunes:
New Long Leg (Dry Cleaning)
Tomorrow’s Harvest (Boards of Canada)

Consett 4-1 Billingham Town, Tuesday 3rd November 2020

Consett 4-1 Billingham Town, Belle View, Northern League Division 1, att. 150

Welcome to....

It was early Saturday evening and like most normal people, I was checking out Consett AFC’s twitter feed.  They had a match the following Tuesday and there were still a few tickets available: on sale 10am Monday, just give the club a ring.  So I did, and by quarter past I was in.  Ticket purchased, I just had to show myself at the turnstile on Tuesday and I’d be granted entrance.  My name is, indeed, on the list.

The Main Event.

As part of my 2020-21 Odyssey to see a game at every ground in the Northern League, I’d noticed a problem.  Capacities of stadia in Northumberland and County Durham were at present capped at 150 due to Covid-19.  Consett were one of those teams who sold out every game.  Indeed, their crowds pre-Coronavirus were normally 400+, so I envisaged midweek games were perhaps my best chance and this was it.  I love it when a plan comes together.  (Not sure how I’m gonna do Ashington, North Shields and Whitley Bay.  Could I apply to be a matchday mascot?)

Welcome to....(II)

Consett’s stadium is a new build (2013), and like many a new ground in England, lacked character.  There was a small stand down one touchline towards one end while an identical stand on the other side sat dead on the halfway line.  There was no terracing, no cover for standing supporters.  But I mustn’t grumble.  For all the charm of their previous ground, they’d had something like 19 postponements due to the state of the pitch.  A new (plastic) pitch would put paid to that.  It was also a novelty to see a flat pitch in the Northern League.  The new location offered the chance to build a large social club with adjacent car park.  The club has even gone with a modern twist on its rename, Belle Vue becoming Belle View.   Good for those of us who failed GCSE French.

The stand on the social club side.

Otherwise, all I know about Consett was from a comedy sketch by north-east club comedian Bobby ‘The Little Waster’ Thompson in the early 80s.  ‘Giro City’ he referred to the town, on its knees following the closure of its steelworks.  The Consett crowd lapped him up.  ‘I’m up to here in debt’ he said, holding his hand just above his 5 feet nothing head.  ‘I wish I was a bit taller.’  If you can’t laugh at your own plight, what is there left?  Fast forward to 2020, a world as bleak as Consett in 1983.

Still, their names make me laugh.  Who'd call their kid 'Peter Welfare Officer'?

Tonite should be a cakewalk.  Consett, one of the leading contenders, against whipping boys Billingham Town, one win and 11 defeats behind them.  And so it proved in the end, 4-1 to the Steelmen, and 3-0 by half-time.  However, the damn only burst with a dubious pen as the Consett forward put his leg across the defender in my eyes.  Until then, 25 minutes in, for all Consett's possession, Billingham looked comfortable.  Indeed, you know you’re struggling to break down the opposition when your best attacking player is your left back.  (He was tremendous by the way, albeit he could improve his crossing.) 

I was most impressed with the addition of the poppy.

It was cold too.  Very cold.  The guy at the turnstyle said it was chilly tonight.  ‘What?  It hasn’t even started yet has it?’ I prematurely replied.  I’d not long since got out of the car and the chill factor hadn’t hit me, but it did.  I edged around the pitch and found myself where the tunnel was.  A bagpiper stood, in full kit, ready to go.  Was this the norm?  Do Consett come out to a bagpiper every game?  I guess not, as he led the players to the halfway line in prep for a minute’s silence for Remembrance Day.  I am an idiot.  Lest we forget.

Am I seeing things, or is that a bagpiper?

The Damage:
£7 ent
£1 half-time draw
= £8

The Tunes:
6 Music (Steve Lamacq / Marc Riley / Gideon Coe)

Consett prepare to take a corner, 2nd half.

2nd half, Consett kicking this end.

A rare sighting of the author, Covid-19 mask and all.

A despairing dive for the pen.

Corner action.

The view from behind the goal.

The 'Other' Stand, opposite the social club.

Down the touchline.

Tonite's teams.

What a load of rubbish, what a load of rubbish.

A minute's silence in remembrance.

  

 

 

Seaham Red Star 2-6 Consett, Tuesday 15th September 2020

Seaham Red Star 2-6 Consett, Northern League Division 1, Seaham Town Park, att. 144

Welcome to ...

I’m up in the north-east for a prolonged period because my aged dad is having a few health problems.  One positive of this is that I’m able to visit places I’ve never been (Tow Law!) and watching sides I’ve never heard of (Sunderland West End anyone?)  Tonite it’s the turn of Seaham Red Star.  Dad is going to bed not long after tea these days…age?  Health?  Drugs?....and so once he’s in bed, I’m in the car and heading north-east.  (Seaham is north-east of Ferryhill.)

Everyone awaits a Seaham free kick.

Unfortunately, I don’t think Google has ever been to Seaham.  I reach the outer edges fine, before Google Maps takes me out of town and a tour of the fields.  So beware entering the postcode of the ground.  Far better sticking in ‘Seaham Red Star’.  It’s heard of them*.  I arrive 15 minutes after kick-off and park up in the rugby club next door.  There’s other cars parked there, but worryingly, a couple of gates.  These had better be open at full-time.  (One wasn’t; I got lucky - I was outside this gate.)

*despite the exotic name, they’re not named after anything vaguely political – though they may share certain views – but after the pub where they were formed in 1973.  A vintage year I’m sure you’ll all agree – I was born.  And for Sunderland fans, the last time they won anything of note.  Perhaps as a nod to the local Superclub, Seaham have come dressed as Sunderland, red and white stripes.  Anyway, from pub team to Northern League Division 1 in 15 years, which isn’t bad.

Miners' lodge banner in the clubhouse.

As I walked to the turnstile (singular) a cheer went up.  Through narrow gaps in the fence I could see the ball in the net at the far end.  Great, I’d missed a goal.  ‘Who scored?’ I asked.  ‘Seaham.  You’ve missed two other goals as well, it’s 2-1 to Consett.’  I didn’t believe the lady taking my contact details for Covid-19, so I asked the bloke who’d took my money.  Yes, it was true.  ‘Well don’t worry, I’ll soon put a stop to that.’  I did.  No more goals followed in the first half.

Inside the Main Stand.

I was recommended a trip to Seaham by the Boro fan I’d befriended at last week’s Tow Law game.  I want an old-style ground, I want terracing, I want a mish-mash of stands.  Yes, Seaham’s was perfect.  A decent sized terrace behind one goal (stretching half the length of the pitch) while opposite, no terracing, but a line of fir trees giving it an authentic enclosed look.  Also, handy for stopping those wild shots.  A small covered enclosure with terracing lay on one halfway line, while a massive clubhouse lay opposite.  I’d have liked a closer nose in as I was impressed with the copy of the old miners’ banner on the wall.  Once upon a time every mining lodge had one and I’m not too young to remember going to Durham Big Meeting under East Hetton’s banner (my grandad's pit).  

Looking towards the pitch.

Next to the clubhouse was a small stand, built in the old style with stanchions, low roof, wooden supports  and built of brick.  Although small, it was quite steep and offered a decent view were it not for my wanderlust.  I spent the first half just past the halfway line, nearest a few from Consett.  I don’t know the ambitions of either side this season, suffice to say Consett are one of the three best supported sides and as such ought to have high hopes.  They demolished Seaham.  After edging the first half, they ran away with it in the second and the score didn’t flatter them.  Mind, I had to question myself on the way home, as Radio Tees gave the score as 2-7.  I’d missed enough of the goals as it was.  Anyway, some of Consett’s one touch play was a joy to behold and totally unexpected from my ignorant knowledge of the Northern League.  Long may they ride.

Fair play to the locals too.  Although not a big crowd, every home substitution was  met with a supportive round of applause for whoever came off.  Perhaps an acknowledgement that although the ability wasn’t there, the endeavour was.

The Damage:

£6 ent
£1 Coca-Cola
= £7

The Tunes:
2^nd half commentary of Middlesbrough v Barnsley (KO 6pm) – Radio Tees

I was ere.

Anderson Shelters or Seaham dugouts?

Looking along the touchline towards the clubhouse

Goal kick in front of the impeccable nets.

The view from the entrance, looking towards the clubhouse.

Seaham Red Star clubhouse.

A small cover opposite the clubhouse.

Turnstile in club colours.