QPR 1-0 BFC, Saturday 3rd February 2018

***photos to follow

‘They’re like a rock band…but s***’

I can’t believe I fell for it. I was weirdly optimistic beforehand. Who cares that we’ve 3 draws and 21 defeats in Shepherd’s Bush since 1950? I had channelled my inner gypsy: the trousers I’d picked up from the dry cleaners were surely the charm needed to break the curse.  I’d already decided that if they worked, they were coming next season.  Reedy tried breaking the optimism; we were nowhere near the side we were last season – when we’d been beaten comfortably, again.  Very true, very true. But QPR aren’t world beaters either, even if a certain Josh Scowen claimed the other week they were a ‘bigger team than Barnsley’. With less than 12,000 home fans there today, I’m not so sure – though they can certainly claim to have more supporters willing to pay £38 on the day for a middling second division game. Criminal.

After our undercover efforts to get into The Defectors Weld last season (hide your colours), we decided on a meet up in Notting Hill this time.  Only knowing the place from some film I’ve never seen, I imagined Notting Hill to be some kind of middle to upper class loveliness.  It reminded me of Reading.  Fortunately, the pub was pleasant enough (Windsor Castle) though I noticed it claimed to be in Kensington.  Yeah right.  Dave even paid me for the Sunderland tickets I bought 2 months ago.  While the group split between an uber and the bus, Phil went missing.  He later claimed QPR wouldn’t let him in; I suspect he baulked at the £38 asking price…

The match started well. 5 mins in, a free kick is curled to the back post by Hammill, for the header across goal and Mills….to clear the bar from 6 yards.  Beautifully crafted, only lacking the finish.  That feeling of ‘it’s not going to be our day’ starts very early at Loftus Road, though Andy did point out when we’d made 10 mins without conceding.  We spent the half looking the better side, but only had one other effort worthy of the name; a half volley from 20 yards by Hammill, tipped over.  We’d been the better side, still created very little, and scored less.  It didn’t look good.

We came out a different side.  Not literally, we were just s*** from start to finish.  And if it took Fulham 4 minutes of the second half to score last week, it takes their West London compadres 3, as Josh Scowen picks up the ball and floats a 25 yarder curler into the far corner.  I thought Townsend should have done better from that distance, but to be fair, it’s the kind of goal Davies concedes too. (I seem to remember wondering after the last goal we conceded from outside the box, when the last time WE got one.  I’m still wondering.  Everyone else has midfielders who can kick a ball.  Why don’t we?)  It was their first shot on target.

Hecky tried mixing it up, bringing on Hedges and McBurnie for Hammill and Moore, but it made no difference.  Then, after QPR were down to 10 men for a rash challenge on the byeline, he brought on Mahoney, the winger from Bournemouth, and went 3 at the back.  With QPR running clean through twice, it’s fair to say the lack of a 4^th defender made more difference.  One of these was direct from a THROW-IN.  I know I'm a keen fan of hyperbole, but this must be the worst defending I've EVER SEEN.  Mahoney was ignored for large spells by his own team, who appeared incapable of switching play quickly.  Who was it had 10 men?  Townsend, by the way, saved both, one being particularly impressive.  The sending off meantime, surprised Reedy, Dave and I, we all thought it was yellow at best from where we were, but our entire bench jumped up as it was in front of them.  The ref stayed impassive for a few seconds, stood  where he was (while everyone else was running around) and brandished the red.  Nothing like giving yourself time to think.

We did though have the one chance, the one ‘nearly’….as a ball is flighted in (Mahoney?) and McBurnie headed it down….Moncur sidefoots it into the corner…right in front of us….it beats the keeper….and a defender sticks his leg out on the line. Ba5tard.  Another year, another loss at Queens Park Rangers.  If there’s an upside, I don’t think we’ll be here next season.

Onwards and upwards!  (Not that I believe it.)

*** Mills.  I thought Pearson very unlucky not to keep his place after last week, but Mills did well.  Shame he missed that early chance though. How things could have been different!

** Yiadom.  Not a vintage performance, and effectively marked at times, but was trying to make things happen.* McBurnie.  He was everywhere.  Looks rangy and dishevelled, but puts himself about.  Doesn’t look like a footballer, but looks better than owt we have up front.  Go figure.

Despatches:
It was a shame to hear a few boos at the end, however badly we’d played 2^nd half.  That said, I flounced out at the end and went to Westfield for a bit of retail therapy to cheer myself up. (I needed a suit.)  I came out even more depressed.  Shopping centres are awful places, aren’t they?  The players?  Moore looked like a carthorse.  Bradshaw kept failing to control the ball with his shins.  Oh, and I nearly forgot, was put clean through by Moncur….and got outpaced to it despite a headstart. It is a COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME threading balls through to our forwards.  They can’t run.  Moncur was ok, including an early 50 yard run through the heart of the pitch, and got a shot off (on target as I remember, but didn’t trouble the keeper). Hammill disappeared 2^nd half, whileWilliams….Williams.  Great to see him back, making tackles and giving the ball straight back to them.  He does it ALL the time.  So that meant Gardner could push up and be useless (the Potts role?)  Lindsay and Penniless looked comfortable in defence.

Away: c700.  I couldn’t believe it either.  Who are these people willing to pay £33 (advance) or £38 (on the day) if they weren’t loyal enough (sorry) to be one of the 210 regulars who nabbed the £10 s*** seats in the corner?  Course, we were some of the 210, and with some rather efficient stewarding preventing us going through another entrance, we had to enter the stand at the correct place…before we moved along to sit where we wanted.  It’s one advantage of supporting a team who never fill this stand.  And I can get a bus from Shepherd’s Bush to Camberwell.  A cheap day out all round!

The Damage:

£10 ent
£3 prog
= £13

Drink du jour: Some pale ale or other.

The Tunes:
Utopia (Bjork)
Parallel LInes (Blondie)
Staring At The Sea (The Cure)

Queens Park Rangers 2-1 BFC, Tuesday 7th March 2017

‘I don’t feel too good….BLEEEUUUURRRGHHHHH’

Welcome to ....

Another season, another pasting at Loftus Road, and for some of us, an even more dire nite than usual, if one includes projectile vomiting on Shepherd’s Bush high street.  I ate a Mediterranean lamb stew and knocked it back with a pint and a half of Erdinger.  I thought it was the speed I ate and drank these things, but my innards today tell me there was more to that ‘stew’ than met the eye.  Tho any restaurant with a cat eating her dinner at the table (sat on a chair) outside is normally fine by me.  (Her name was ‘Boss’ and she was a 6 month old cutie).   

Nearly there...

Of course, that was before I got IN the pub.  Christ, we should get those 2 guys at the door in our defence.  No away fans, so half our lot pretended to know nowt about football (easy) or had to be picked up at the door by Phil (resplendent in a blue away shirt.  How does THAT work?)  It appeared that if you rocked up in the office attire of jumper and collared shirt, you were in.  Still, Erdinger on tap.  In plastic glasses.  So, they root out the riff-raff and still charge you the earth for the honour of drinking from plastic.  I problies felt sick before I left the pub.

The view from the top tier.

On to the match and at least we’d made the effort to buy a ticket in advance, limited view, £28.  (As expected, there was plenty of space, so we sat where we liked and plonked ourselves right behind the goal).  Marvellous view (as long as the rows in front were empty – they were), and about 6 inches of leg space.  Brentford was similar.  Is West London populated by dwarves?  But pity the poor few (Stu) who bought a ticket on the night: THIRTY SEVEN F***ING QUID.  Now, obviously, Stu only paid cos he likes our company, rarely sees us, and is a masochist anyway.  But this is CRIMINAL.  (Bearing in mind I wouldn’t even have paid the £33).  

I wasn't aware it had closed...

I missed the kick-off, and thereby the chance to see Ben10 mascot us for the hundredth time.  That kid’s made more appearances than Hassell!  I had a good feeling too.  For the first time since EVER, I felt I was going to QPR confidently knowing we are a better team than them.  This lasted for about 3 minutes, or however long I was in the ground when we conceded.  A cross, a flick, and the ball just hit the heel of a forward and trickled in.  Jammy ba5tards.  Still, poor defending, and there was plenty of it 1^st half.

Match action

Thereafter, both sides looked decidedly average.  Scowen put his foot through a couple of shots (over) while Marley (centre forward!) had one chance blocked with Kent blazing the rebound over.  Later, we went 2 on 1 and while Kent overlapped, Armstrong pussied a ridiculous sidefoot effort to the keeper.  Pathetic.  Then, with time ticking at the end of the half, Marley rounds a defender, fires across the keeper…and it’s cleared off the line.  Well covered, dammit.  QPR meantime hit the bar from a header and Davies dived low to his left to save a sweetly connected 20 yarder.  

It can’t be all bad though; Bristol City and Little Lee are losing to Norwich. And say what you like about the cosmopolitan nature (or not) of Oakwell and BFC, but we’ve yet to have an ‘always ar5e club’ a la QUEENS Park Rangers.  If I understood the half time announcement, Shaun Derry is the latest member.  You’d never have guessed to look at him (though the shaven head possibly gives it away.)  That was about it as far as my entertainment went last night.

The salubrious surroundings of the concourse.

2^nd half, I don’t think either side got going.  Mowatt was dragged off in midfield and a re-shuffle brought Bradshaw up top, Scowen moving centre and Marley out wide.  We still looked s***.  Or at the very least ‘unlikely to score’.  Then a ball was whacked out wide by QPR, it hit their man and proceeded to drop kindly for him to run onto and cross.  Jammy ba5tards.  And he whips in a beautiful cross to the front post where MacDonald and their bloke challenge to get the last touch.  Apparently it’s MacDonald.  Jammy ba5tards.  (Only kidding, great cross).

The game meandered on, then Hecky threw on Hedges and Hamill for the last 20.  Finally, we look like something going forward and a hopeful long ball is flicked on with his boot by Hedges and Bradshaw runs on, rounds the keeper and strokes it home.  We have pulled one back.  The atmosphere is still flat.  We know.  That’s it for another evening at Loftus Road.  3 draws, 20 defeats and counting…since our last win here.  It comes to something when fans are reminiscing about a draw, once (Martin Bullock scoring the equaliser, despite trying to clear the bar from under it).

A late free kick is wasted.

*** James.  Put his foot on the ball, rounded people, ran at people, gave himself time and space. 
Otherwise, I’m struggling, so….
** Kent.  Looked dangerous 1^st half.  (I know, I couldn’t believe it either) then disappeared 2^nd (I could believe that).  I’m obviously not the only one exasperated with this fellow, cos one Reds fans was giving him some right abuse, inviting him to p*** off back to Liverpool.  Unless it was Waddington, and he was talking about Hamill…
* Hamill.  At least there was some threat once the maestro came on.

Londontykes' Top 3:
1. James  2. Hamill  3. Roberts

Despatches:I can barely think of a morsel to write about the rest.  Yes, the centre halves cleared a few balls, but yes, the goals came from crosses.  As Stuart said ‘2-1 flattered both teams; it had nil-nil written all over it.’  Another crap nite in the Bush.  And Bristol City equalised.

Onwards and upwards! 

Drink du jour: Erdinger on tap.

Away: 526 Reds fans wishing they were somewhere else from the 1^st minute onwards. 

The Damage:
28 ent

I refuse to give ‘em any more of my money.

Loftus Road panorama

Full time.  Another defeat in Shepherd's Bush.