Monday 24 September 2012

Birmingham City 0-5 Barnsley, Saturday 22nd September 2012

And the view from the Camberwell jury…

YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU REDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!  So here’s why one must come to these random games (despite them being on telly and all).  What a performance. The biggest away win since visiting Accrington Stanley in the 1930s (probably), we played Brum off the park from start to finish.  Can there have been a more perfect performance?  Even at 0-0 at half time, there’d only been one team in it.  Of course, like any sane Reds fan, one feared we’d pay for those 1st half misses, but it wasn’t to be….we were AWESOME (dude).

Every outfield player did his bit.  Only Alnwick had nought to do (thank god).  The defence were comfortable, we were dominant in midfield and in Dagnall and Davies, we had a front 2 who Brum simply couldn’t cope with.  It was embarrassing in the 2nd half, watching Davies up against someone he was stronger than, faster than and (most bizarrely) more skilful than.  Who was that hapless centre half?

*** Davies.  You can’t argue with 4 goals.  1st time since Currie?
** Dangerous.  Very unlucky not to score, thanks to (at least) 3 great saves from England’s #2. The tip onto the post was particularly fabulous.
* Dawson.  The new Redfearn, driving forward from midfield.

Despatches:  Mellis.  Outstanding, helped by Dawson’s efforts in the middle.

The fans?  Well, dunno if you could hear us, but there was plenty of singing throughout from the 295 (not just when we were winning, tho obviously it got louder as the goals went in).  Mind, I wondered if they’d turn us down on the telly, what with the popular ‘if you’re watching on the telly you’re a cnut’ chant.  Plenty of ‘it’s just like watching Brazil’, which must perk the team up and a few ‘how sh*t must you be?  We’re winning away’ which possibly doesn’t.  Though one of my favourite chants, which I hope to air a little more often, was ‘5-0 to the Barnserlee’, which I find very very catchy.

As for Brum, well, I’ve always said they’re a fickle bunch, judging by the poor numbers they generally bring to Oakwell, but 13,000 odd at home for a team from ‘Britain’s 2nd city’ is p*** poor. But well done to the 5 or 6000 who stayed to watch the whole pasting.  I know the feeling.

Oh, and sweet revenge for the 5-0 they gave us one year  at Oakwell (0-0 till the keeper got sent off;  Claridge possibly scored a hattrick that day).

Come the final whistle, it was time to button up, zip it up, and run the gauntlet of hundreds of local neanderthals outside (as is the St. Andrew’s custom) but it turned out they’d all gone home, sobbing.

EIEIEIO UP THE FOOTBALL LEAGUE WE GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Superb.
ps, I heard me and my taxi driver (Molly) were seen on telly.  Now, if THAT doesn't drive up viewing figures, I dunno what will.  I trust I looked as smug as I felt.  F***ing glorious.

pps, 80 odd minutes in, Sarah proclaimed herself bored.  'There hasn't been a goal in 10 minutes' she said. 

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