Battling Barnsley bravely battle to victory. Another week, another all hands to the pump performance. Despite a couple of changes to the team selection, the fluid 3-5-2 or is it 5-3-2 system continued, and after riding our luck a little 1st half, we nicked a win with a superb counter attack.
Wise heads wondered why Wiseman was given a starting berth. My own theory was that it was our last chance to let him have a good game before the transfer deadline, thereby getting rid. (I didn’t realise we had a game on Tuesday.) Unfortunately, he was dogs*** at right back, so that's that plan out of the window. If any move personified his ‘ability’ it was when he miscalculated the bounce of a ball, and as it went over his and the striker’s head, he clattered into the striker, earning a booking. Had he simply stood still the ball would’ve gone out for a throw-in to us.
Equally appalling was Crainie at centre half. Not only did he look like Wiseman, he played like him too. Thankfully, some bloke called Hassell was ready at all times on the cover. Where’d we get him from? He looks a cracking buy. Golbourne was also outstanding and Steele was only really called into action in the last 10 minutes.
The 1st half was all Hull tho. We simply never got out of our half. I don’t know what it is about us sometimes. One week we’re playing balls to the feet of Dagnall and Harewood, the next they never see the ball. And if they do, no-one’s bothered to come up and support. Hull have several half chances, mainly headers flicking past the post from needlessly given away corners and free kicks. It seemed only a matter of time, so it was with some relief we made it to HT scoreless.
2nd half and it was a different game. Both sides attacked, leaving space behind their defences. The game became increasingly spread out before Flitcroft made a couple of changes the rest of us woulda made before the match even started – O’Brien on for The Stroller and Stones on for (an injured) Wiseman. (As with the reason to play Wiseman, the reason NOT to play Stones is we don’t want him injured before we sell him!)
Then we ruled, man. We took it to the Tigerrzz and in one attack had 3 efforts on goal before Dagnall knocked in the 3rd rebound. The crowd went wild! Actually, we did. A decent turnout too, about 1500. Amazing what this ‘football for a tenner’ brings out.
Then for 5 minutes we had attack after attack, so Flitcroft did the decent thing, took a striker off (Dagnall) and stuck a defender on (Foster) and the momentum was lost. We dropped deep for the last 10 and Steele made 3 or 4 saves where previously there were none. They also spurned a couple of free kicks from the edge of the box, electing to hoof it into the crowd. I guess it is a rugby town.
Pleasant journey back too. Me and Andy sourced the spiced rum from the BIGGEST TESCO I HAVE EVER SEEN in Hull city centre (I think it WAS Hull city centre) before we retired to the saloon of the posh hotel in the station to admire our good work, while helping Tim spend his latest fruit machine winnings (£160). It got me wondering, how many hours of practice, how many pounds of hard cash, does one have to feed into those things to understand how to play them? Cos I have seen Tim drop at least 3 of these things and it can’t be coincidence.
*** Hassell. Read the game superbly from a deep lying central defensive role (sweeper?). In particular, got us out of trouble when Crainie and Wiseman were attempting to put us in it.
** Golbourne. Got up the wing in support, especially 2nd half.
* Steele. Just edges out Perkins cos the last 10 mins, where he made crucial saves, Perkins lost a couple of cheap balls.
Despatches:
Perkins had a decent game. Harewood didn’t do anything for 60 minutes then sprang into life. Stones and O’Brien came on and upped the tempo. And Dagnall was Dagnall. Tho we can now add ‘goalscoring’ to his repertoire.
Shame Hull managed to p*** over our balloons at the end, putting the full time Championship scores up. Just as we’re celebrating victory, we get to see all our rivals at the bottom have won. Could we swap the cup wins v Burnley and Hull for 5 extra points, pls? (We drew at home to Burnley.) No, scratch that. Let's go down while winning the cup. I'll have Luton away in the next round, pls.
I was also talking to Andy about Stroller. What does Mellis DO? I decided I’d keep my eye on him for a bit, but it’s like watching paint dry. Try it. Honestly, after about 30 seconds I simply got bored. I can tell you what you already know though – he can’t tackle. I can handle that he’s hardly a tough guy, but a couple of times he even found himself the wrong side of the man, so once he lost the tackle he was also behind the player as he ran towards goal. Obviously he doesn’t run back after his man either. Which leaves the defence-splitting passes which he’s renowned for, which come about once every 4 games (and the rest). He’s stealing a living, for me. However, every cloud has a silver lining – apparently he saves the club a fortune in laundry fees cos his kit never needs washing.
Overall, our feeling was we’d definitely recommend an away trip to Hull. Direct train, decent boozer beforehand (followed by Hicksy’s hoolie-boozer, where no-one wore colours), Tesco next to the train station and a posh hotel bar to celebrate in. And the pick of the seats on the train back cos Hull’s the end of the line. Shame we won’t be playing there next season (cos they’re going up, see!?) And the cutest little 6 year old of them all for company (Lillie). To whom I’ll leave the final word. As Lillie climbed all over the seats (she’d taken her shoes off tho), Dad said ‘Lillie, don’t be a buffoon.’ Quick as flash came the retort.
‘But I AM!’
Equally appalling was Crainie at centre half. Not only did he look like Wiseman, he played like him too. Thankfully, some bloke called Hassell was ready at all times on the cover. Where’d we get him from? He looks a cracking buy. Golbourne was also outstanding and Steele was only really called into action in the last 10 minutes.
The 1st half was all Hull tho. We simply never got out of our half. I don’t know what it is about us sometimes. One week we’re playing balls to the feet of Dagnall and Harewood, the next they never see the ball. And if they do, no-one’s bothered to come up and support. Hull have several half chances, mainly headers flicking past the post from needlessly given away corners and free kicks. It seemed only a matter of time, so it was with some relief we made it to HT scoreless.
2nd half and it was a different game. Both sides attacked, leaving space behind their defences. The game became increasingly spread out before Flitcroft made a couple of changes the rest of us woulda made before the match even started – O’Brien on for The Stroller and Stones on for (an injured) Wiseman. (As with the reason to play Wiseman, the reason NOT to play Stones is we don’t want him injured before we sell him!)
Then we ruled, man. We took it to the Tigerrzz and in one attack had 3 efforts on goal before Dagnall knocked in the 3rd rebound. The crowd went wild! Actually, we did. A decent turnout too, about 1500. Amazing what this ‘football for a tenner’ brings out.
Then for 5 minutes we had attack after attack, so Flitcroft did the decent thing, took a striker off (Dagnall) and stuck a defender on (Foster) and the momentum was lost. We dropped deep for the last 10 and Steele made 3 or 4 saves where previously there were none. They also spurned a couple of free kicks from the edge of the box, electing to hoof it into the crowd. I guess it is a rugby town.
Pleasant journey back too. Me and Andy sourced the spiced rum from the BIGGEST TESCO I HAVE EVER SEEN in Hull city centre (I think it WAS Hull city centre) before we retired to the saloon of the posh hotel in the station to admire our good work, while helping Tim spend his latest fruit machine winnings (£160). It got me wondering, how many hours of practice, how many pounds of hard cash, does one have to feed into those things to understand how to play them? Cos I have seen Tim drop at least 3 of these things and it can’t be coincidence.
*** Hassell. Read the game superbly from a deep lying central defensive role (sweeper?). In particular, got us out of trouble when Crainie and Wiseman were attempting to put us in it.
** Golbourne. Got up the wing in support, especially 2nd half.
* Steele. Just edges out Perkins cos the last 10 mins, where he made crucial saves, Perkins lost a couple of cheap balls.
Despatches:
Perkins had a decent game. Harewood didn’t do anything for 60 minutes then sprang into life. Stones and O’Brien came on and upped the tempo. And Dagnall was Dagnall. Tho we can now add ‘goalscoring’ to his repertoire.
Shame Hull managed to p*** over our balloons at the end, putting the full time Championship scores up. Just as we’re celebrating victory, we get to see all our rivals at the bottom have won. Could we swap the cup wins v Burnley and Hull for 5 extra points, pls? (We drew at home to Burnley.) No, scratch that. Let's go down while winning the cup. I'll have Luton away in the next round, pls.
I was also talking to Andy about Stroller. What does Mellis DO? I decided I’d keep my eye on him for a bit, but it’s like watching paint dry. Try it. Honestly, after about 30 seconds I simply got bored. I can tell you what you already know though – he can’t tackle. I can handle that he’s hardly a tough guy, but a couple of times he even found himself the wrong side of the man, so once he lost the tackle he was also behind the player as he ran towards goal. Obviously he doesn’t run back after his man either. Which leaves the defence-splitting passes which he’s renowned for, which come about once every 4 games (and the rest). He’s stealing a living, for me. However, every cloud has a silver lining – apparently he saves the club a fortune in laundry fees cos his kit never needs washing.
Overall, our feeling was we’d definitely recommend an away trip to Hull. Direct train, decent boozer beforehand (followed by Hicksy’s hoolie-boozer, where no-one wore colours), Tesco next to the train station and a posh hotel bar to celebrate in. And the pick of the seats on the train back cos Hull’s the end of the line. Shame we won’t be playing there next season (cos they’re going up, see!?) And the cutest little 6 year old of them all for company (Lillie). To whom I’ll leave the final word. As Lillie climbed all over the seats (she’d taken her shoes off tho), Dad said ‘Lillie, don’t be a buffoon.’ Quick as flash came the retort.
‘But I AM!’
She’s adorable. If I had a kid, I want that one!
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