Thursday 12 August 2021

Thornaby 2-1 Whickham, Wednesday 11th August 2021

Thornaby 2-1 Whickham, Northern League Division 1, Teesdale Park, att. 226

I’m terribly confused by Thornaby FC. Formed as Stockton FC (and re-named in 2000 as Thornaby), the town of Thornaby lies on the opposite bank of the River Tees from Stockton, so why is it ‘Thornaby, Stockton-on-Tees’? On the rare occasion I’ve had reason to consider Thornaby (the place), I’ve thought of it as a suburb of Middlesbrough, the other side of the A19. If one side of the Tees is Yorkshire, and the other (better) side, County Durham, surely Thornaby isn’t in Stockton. These modern boundaries! Though when I looked up the ground, Teesdale Park, to find it was adjacent to ‘Old River Tees’ I wondered, what’s that? A bit of digging and it turns out one of those Victorian Indsutrial Age innovations was straightening the Tees so that ships could reach Stockton (and the black gold – coal – brought there by rail from the Durham coalfields). No wonder the waterside at Stockton is so straight. I never knew!

Something else I pondered over was Teesdale Park. Rarer than hen’s teeth, here was a flat pitch in the Northern League. What wonder of mankind or nature was this? Talking to an old timer, he told me the place was a cricket ground before its development. It’s a smart arena too, with a covered propped Main Stand just past the halfway line opposite a grass bank covering the length of the pitch. Excellent views, save for the bizarre addition of a bus shelter on the halfway which appeared to double as a camera gantry. Or just a gantry, given the lack of TV camera. On a fine night in North Yorkshire, 3 gentlemen took the opportunity for an indoor sitdown. Get here early when the weather’s on the turn…

Behind one goal is the social club and some open seats. Again, great in late summer, possible less so for the other 9 months of the season. The entrance is at this end, in the corner. This came as a relief as I walked around, as the social club was behind a fence and I could find no way in. I lucked out though, claiming the last programme, and the gateman gave me a teamsheet for good measure. I like it here.

The programme gave the usual synopsis of both teams, but had a rather tough football quiz in which I scored a meagre 3/8. I did though learn that Kieron Dyer played for England 33 times (how?) even though I mainly remember him for an on-pitch fight with Newcastle teammate Lee Bowyer. No matter what happens in football, there’s always Newcastle United to make one chuckle.

I wandered down the touchline towards the Main Stand, passing a pop up bar, which would have screamed craft ale had it been Dulwich, but it wasn’t. So it was Fosters, Carling, or somesuch. Can’t knock it though, I wasn’t drinking. Clean, spacious toilets too, another rarity at this level. I made use before standing for most of the first half against a barrier next to the pitch before I heading towards the bank opposite, passing behind the goal. This was a small terrace with cover, Thornaby FC flags hanging proudly at the back. Who needs their team’s name emblazoned in the seats?

The bank provided a great view and I was quickly impressed with Thornaby left winger/forward Elliott Beddow (‘among the quickest players in the League’ according to the programme). However, whether good defending or a poor last pass, Thornaby couldn’t get him in. However, they broke the deadlock when a stray pass from Whickham was then squared for a confident finish from Luke Hogan. ‘I don’t know how we’re winning’ said the old timer as I intended to complete a circuit of the ground at half-time. I never managed the circuit – we chatted for the rest of the match.

Whickham equalised after the hour, as the Thornaby keeper came out to collect, completely misjudged the cross and found himself stranded. An easy tap-in. A young lad, I’m again baffled to know how a 17 year old goalkeeper (Josh Mazfari) can have had trials for England Under 18s and yet play for Thornaby FC. Even then, he wouldn’t have played had the regular #1, Dimi Konstantopoulos (former Boro and Poolie legend, with nearly 400 appearances) been available. The latter is now a coach at Hartlepool and apparently won’t be available when they play – which is every Saturday for a start!

With around 20 minutes left, Whickham’s Ross Peareth was shown a second yellow for a robust mistimed tackle, leaving Thornaby to hunt down the win, and it was our man Beddow, streaking through to calmly finish. I like the look of this lad (despite other misses.) For a second successive away game, I’d seen Whickham lose 2-1, but they look more than good enough to be halfway up this league. Time will tell.

ps, don’t make my mistake and find yourself in the cricket club car park. Thornaby FC is the right turn BEFORE (or left turn after) and whatever you’ve read on the internet about a lack of parking, it’s not true – there’s car parks behind both goals, as well as the ability to park on the lane parallel with the bank side.

The Damage:
£7 ent
£2 programme (last one)
= £9

The Tunes: OK (Talvin Singh)



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