I tried to tempt fate wherever I went. We were on s*** hot form away. They were bottom of the league. I told the programme seller we’d win handsomely (though I did tell her she could rub my face in it at full-time). I told Nice Guy Chris his bet would finally come in….3-1 to the Super Reds and Mads to score. It didn’t, and he didn’t. Though to be honest, he could have retired a second time as he added Cole to score too. Let’s just say I offered him double the odds in the pub pre-match but he ‘didn’t wanna take my money off me.’ Safest grand I’ve ever offered to risk.
I was obviously ‘up for it’ today, as I gambled my entrance in a row over Opal Fruits on the way in. (Yes, Opal Fruits are BACK – limited edition in B&M – and I’ve 25 packets at home in my cupboard to prove it.) Did I have any food on me? ‘No’. And to be fair, he didn’t find the Opal Fruits in my bag. But he found a second packet in my coat I’d forgotten about. ‘You can’t bring any food in’ my jobsworth friend told me. Unfortunately, the rules of entry were on a wall right behind him. ‘Can you show me on the ground regulations where it says I’m not allowed to bring Opal Fruits into the match?’ ‘Errrr…I’ve been told…you can’t bring food into the ground. Would you like to speak to my supervisor?’ Would I!? God, yes. I wanna hear this. Sadly, it was all over far too fast for someone up for an argument. ‘Do you have any chips in your bag?’ (Chips? In my BAG?) ‘Eh? No.’ ‘OK, let him in.’
After 5 minutes, I was rather pleased I’d made kick-off. It was all us. ‘I wish there was some action at this end’ I told Reedy. I got my wish. We barely strung a pass together the rest of the half and star Shrimper Cole Stockton blazed a chance over from 8 yards. What was wrong with us? Without much to chomp on, I told Reedy what had been bugging me all season. What DOES Cundy do? I mean, I wasn’t saying he’s rubbish. I wasn’t saying he’s good. Just that….I don’t know what he does. He’s not commanding, like a Helik. He doesn’t spray passes around like a Mawson. He doesn’t make big challenges like a Kitching. ‘He stands in the right place.’ Which is the LEAST I expect of a centre half. About five minutes later he was stood in the right place again, as the ball trickled through his legs for a passing Shrimper to prod into an open goal. (We’ll ignore the inability of others to deal with the long throw.)
By half-time it was plain we needed to see a change and I was pleased to see Duff tap into my half-time team talk to replace Connell with Kane. Connell is another one my jury is still out on. I know one or two others have seen him play a decent match, but that was while I was on holiday. Today, he was simply getting rid of the ball as fast as it came to him. At least Kane offers a semblance of composure (and he also tested the keeper from 20 yards within 3 minutes of coming on). And just to complete the triumvirate on new players I’m yet to be convinced over….Jack Aitchison. Came on and did his usual floating about behind the front line to little or no effect. ‘Runs about’ Nozzer tells me. Again, the LEAST I’d expect from someone trying to make things happen up top. Think Luke Berry without the hair flick. I’d describe other events in the match…except nothing happened. We ambled up the pitch, then stopped. Despite having 3 centre halves, the wing backs appeared to halt once they came across an opposition full back. Cole was running about up front to no avail, but we couldn’t bring him off – all we had on the bench was a 16 year old. (I’m not saying we were desperate, but the vocal element kept chanting for Jalo.) The natural candidates to be hooked were the 2 ineffectual loanees behind Cole…I’ll learn their names when it becomes important enough. Suffice that one is called Phillips and their parent teams are Norwich and Burnley. Either way, they were atrocious and created NOWT, so off they went. It made no difference. It was that kind of performance.
Onwards and upwards!
*** Andersen. Nothing wrong with his game, his finest moment chasing back and reading a throughball. ** Ten Benson. Sprayed it around, had a 25 yarder tipped over. Sadly, had to give it to other players in red black. Why were Morecambe playing in dark shirts when their colours are red? * Kane. Did more in 3 minutes than Connell did in a half.
Londontykes’ MOTM: TBA
Despatches:
63% possession, 14-5 on shots (3-1 on target)…sounds like we shoulda walked it. Talk about stats not telling a story. Morecambe fully deserved their victory.
Full marks to our fickle support too, songs celebrating ‘Michael Duffy’ (Michael Duff, shurely?) being replaced at full-time with ‘What a load of rubbish’. Well, it was.
And Jalo did get on. The 16 year old got his runout, as Duff went with a front 2. We got nowhere, though we did get a corner where I noticed Cundy was 2 inches taller than anyone near him. Now, what does he do again?
Drink du jour: A pale ale in the John O’Gaunt and a Paulaner Weissbier in the Stonewell Tap. Ahhhh, Paulaner. I love Paulaner. Can we play Morecambe again sometime???
Away: c.1500
Today’s take home: There’s no easy games in this division. Apart from Barnsley.
The Damage:
c.£31 travel
£21 ent
£3 prog
= £55
The Tunes:
Four Calendar Cafe (Cocteau Twins)
Ou est la Maison de Fromage? (John Cooper Clarke)
Kid A (Radiohead)
Fighting Talk (BBC 5Live)
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