It started well. I was early into Shrewsbury/Shrosebury, parked up and arranged a street corner to meet with Nice Guy Chris. This was after getting lost in the (Darwin) shopping centre inbetween carpark and main street. And to prove this was no fluke, we did it again on the way back, as Chris and I entered the shopping centre, went down, went up, went around….and found ourselves back at the entrance. ‘Let’s go the long way round this time’ I said.
Before that, we had a pleasant couple of drinks in ye olde pubs. I say pleasant, the pubs were great, ‘Loggerheads’ and ‘Cromwell’s Tap House’, but my two drinks were decidedly average, nevermind that the latter pub charged nearly 14 quid for 2 drinks. Well, it’s good to know I’m helping keep the hostelries of Salop in electricity during this ‘cost of living crisis’. And then it was time to find the car and complete a task considered too difficult for the Crystal Maze (or Krypton Factor, teenagers!)…find your way around Shrewsbury’s mystifying road network. Anyway, anywhere that takes half an hour to drive from town centre to stadium is doing something wrong. (Not enough signs for idiots?) So, yes, I was already in a bad mood…
As I say, we got to ground, where I tipped Chris out to see kick-off. He informs me we scored a very good goal, ably assisted by Devante Cole. He’s half right. I’ve seen it on telly. Cole holds the ball up well and lays it across for a defender to give it to Phillips on a plate. I’d have said unmissable, but 2 later shots from Phillips didn’t land within 10 yards of goal…and I’ve yet to see the apparently wondrous strike against Bolton in the cup last week. He can’t hit a barn door when I’ve seen him.
Oh, did I say I still had to pick up my match ticket? The one I ordered from Oakwell last MONDAY? Well, it hadn’t arrived by Friday, when Sarah and I set off to Manchester to see Courtney Barnett (an Aussie singer, for the uninitiated). She was great btw, as was the venue…the Albert Hall, a former Wesleyan Chapel. Anyway…yes…I rocked up to Montgomery Water Meadows (or whatever it’s called, can’t be bothered to check) only to find the two ‘late turnstiles’ shut. Mentally, I’d prepared myself for not being able to get in. (This happened years ago at Oakwell…I got there after kick-off, all turnstiles shut, no-one around to speak to…and spent the afternoon in the old social club not watching us lose 2-0 at home to Reading.)
(Un)fortunately, the exec bit was open. I wandered in and a ‘can I help you?’ later I was onto something, albeit via a lady who overheard my name and asked if my ticket was a ‘duplicate’. Obviously, THOSE tickets were in a different part of the office completely. I was in. Or I was once I went back out, doubled back to the away end, and walked through an open door manned by a steward. Good timing though, as the next minute and a half was the best of the game. Cadden, goalkeeper to beat, MUST score…but can’t control a ball, chasing after it to cross it back in for Cole, who MUST score…but can’t head a ball, and it loops onto the bar…where Tadic MUST score, but pokes the rebound wide from 4 yards. Those 6 seconds were ALL us.
The other 50 minutes? I don’t think I saw a single save, though Collins at least caught a few crosses. We played some lovely triangles in harmless areas of the pitch before losing it We found the stand a few times, as did they, but as the match went on, it became one team incapable of scoring against another who’re not interested. Time-wasting highlights from the Super Reds included Collins holding onto it 15 seconds (in the 57th minute!) and us running towards the corner flag when we were 2 on 2 late on. Even more depressingly, some fans were calling for us to do exactly that. I took that as my cue to get up and go pick up Chris. I’d chosen a higher perch in order to get a better view of this sh*te.
Onwards and upwards!
*** Edwards. Always in the right place, and tracked back superbly to outpace a Shrew onto a delicious throughball. Plus he can throw a ball 40 yards (twice) and who doesn’t wanna see THAT!?
** Kitching. Excellent defending, in particular preventing 2 crosses after I’d seen Cadden unable to do same.
* Mads. Love it when he reads the game, intercepts the pass and strolls forward.
Londontykes’ MOTM: TBA
Despatches:
If you want more examples of what an abysmal game it was, the highlight of the second half was in injury time when Collins caught it and went over under a challenge. But instead of playing dead (for a change) he jumped up, all angry-like, wanting a piece of the other bloke. Cue both sets of players piling into each other, right in front of our fans, who piled to the front. Check out the TV coverage, as a Burberry-clad yoof was last in, presumably cos he’d spend valuable seconds arranging his scarf across his face. Go Barnsley!
Other players who had an alright game included Collins (who was fantastic on the crosses and hadn’t made a mistake all match till 2 late goalkicks found the stands) and Cole, who made the runs, held the ball up…and got no supply. The rest were like the match – non-descript.
Drink du jour: Wainwright pale ale and Wrangler IPA. Both as average as they come.
Away: c.800
Today’s take home: Get there earlier, or not at all.
b>The Damage:
£24 ent
£20 travel
= c.£44
The Tunes:
BBC5Live
Things Take Time, Take Time (Courtney Barnett)
BBC 6Music (Craig Charles’ Funk and Soul Show)
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