Sunday 14 May 2023

Bolton Wanderers 1-1 BFC, Saturday 13th May 2023

‘Yer Keith Lemon ba5tard.’
Where does time go? I haven’t been to this stadium (whatever it’s called this week) since our Premiership season. That’s 25 years ago. And to paraphrase someone’s opinion of the Austrian Eurovision entry…..I’ve warmed to it. I used to hate it…now I just don’t like it. Middle of nowhere, miles from Bolton, more hotel, office complex and TK Maxx dispenser than football ground, and devoid of any local character, just car parks and the motorway…I still think it’s dreadful. But if you’ve got a car, and you park up 15 mins from the ground near The Beehive pub (is the Bolton car park EIGHT QUID?), you can wallow in a pre-match carvery (with extra Yorkshire pudds for the greedy) within walking distance of the ground. And if you’re really lucky, you get to see Patrick Bamford miss the penalty that would give Dirty Leeds a two goal cushion in their fight to achieve relegation. Ideal pre-match entertainment!

At least this took the mind off our game. Since the previous night, when Sheffield Superclub had been slammed by little old Peterborough, I’d envisioned a spanking. Our record against Bolton is pretty abysmal, they’d beaten us three nil at our place (and were far superior even before Mads’ sending off) and our form had stalled. So full praise to the Super Reds, who were the better side throughout. I know it must be so, cos every Bolton fan I spoke to after the match, said so. Slightly galling for them, our relative dominance came courtesy of Luca Connell in midfield, a forner Trotter.

That we didn’t win was, as ever, due to our finishing….oh, and a rare mistake from keeper Isted. 1st half, our big chance fell to Tedic, but the keeper read the attempted dink. Second half, a ball rolls loose and it’s Tedic again….oops, no it’s not, it’s centre half Bobby Thomas…who takes a mite too long and the keeper is out again to smother. (I’ve since read their manager says this keeper – on loan from Man City – is the best keeper in the division.) Otherwise, Cole ought to have done better when cutting inside (wide) while a cheeky snapshot went similar. I’m not sure Watters or Norwood, upon coming on, touched the ball in their half.

We took the lead an hour or so in with a superb strike from Cadden. I think our left back has scored as many as Cole this season. Certainly since March. Cole lays the ball back to him during a corner scramble, and Cadden hits it true through 20 yards of players. Carnage in the away end. Say what you like about this stadium, but it’s an amazing view from the upper tier. They equalise within minutes. Oh well, we’ll always have that 200 seconds or so…

They break, a ball is played across, and the subsequent low cross from the left is bundled in via Isted’s palms. Does he slip? What happened? Why do we never score these goals? Anyway, it was nice to hear the whole ground (Tyke and Trotter) sing ‘E-I-E-I-E-I-O up the fooball league we go’. I really like that tune. Maybe we should enter THAT for Eurovision. (The UK finished 2nd off bottom this year…I hear. And no, I couldn’t tell you her name – I know it’s a her – or the song.)

And that was it. Neither side was particularly adventurous in that last 20 mins or so. If anything, it looked like the cageyness I expected in the opening sequence. Watters and Norwood were thrown on, but were obviously under instruction not to press, retreating to the halfway line like days of yore, before the ‘high press’ was invented. And Bolton never did get another shot on target, despite sending on Big Vic. For once, it wasn’t ‘written in the stars’ for a former Red to do us.

Onwards and upwards!

*** Connell. In an often helter-skelter clash, he remained calm and composed.
** Mads. Thank goodness he was back to marshal the defence.
* Cadden. Despite a slow start (being beaten a couple of times) the strike more than makes up for it.

Londontykes’ MOTM: 1= Andersen / Connell 3. Cadden

Despatches:
Cole played well, without looking like scoring. Watters. What’s the point? And what’s the point of a Norwood if he’s not allowed to charge around unsettling defenders. Still, ‘Supwer Michael Duffy’ knows best. (He’s got most things right this season.) In defence, Bobby Thomas had a dodgy opening 20 minutes, messing up a couple of clearances. I want the Bobby Thomas of 2 months ago, not the one we’ve had since. The rest I can’t remember off the top of my head.

Oh yes. Phillipswatch. For someone who wasn’t involved in the game…he was very involved! First half, rockets one (just over). Second half, skies one into the upper tier (from a corner played back to him; the only time I’ve seen us score this goal was John Curtis – on loan from Manure – Championship play off season). Phillips also hits the free kick which falls loose to Thomas; he takes the corner which causes the carnage leading to our goal. And it’s him who is culpable for their goal, as he fails to stick out a leg for the crossfield pass. I know folk think I’ve got it in for him, which is why I’ve replayed the goal half a dozen times to double check what I saw with my own eyes from the other end of the stadium. I am merely reporting what I observed and having seen it six more times, I am more convinced than ever. And yes, Isted could’ve done better too.

Xg, or ‘expected goals’ to those living in a cave the last 3 seasons. I’m not sure they do this for an ordinary 3rd division match, but it was there on Satdy. 1.51 v 1.58 apparently. Howthehell are these things measured? Checking the stats, we had 19 shots to their 7 (5 on target to 1). Of course, it’s not just about the final shot (otherwise, how would teams get an xg of, say, 0.58 despite never having an effort?) But are you telling me someone is in a room somewhere (where? Ecuador?) minutely studying every single piece of play to determine…oh….in that particular break we had a 0.17 chance of scoring? How does it work? And does it take into account the player(s) involved? That Bobby Thomas chance, for example, I’d fancy any of our front line to have taken that early and maybe 3 of the 4 of them (Cole, Norwood, Tedic, Watters) to bag.

And ticket allocations: Yes, Bolton only gave us 2,100 instead of the usual 5,000+ available to away fans. But it seems the tit for tat started with US. Well done BFC. We’re so scared of the mighty Trotters that we limited them to 2000. Why would we cut off our noses to spite our faces? This undoubtedly means empty seats at Oakwell, as it did at the University of Bolton Stadium (got there in the end!) They had 25,000 odd in a home game v Derby and it was 23,000 and some today. Given we took a sellout 4,700 to Wigan the last but one time we were in division 3, I’d have confidently predicted we could have sold 5,000 at Bolton….and them likewise at Oakwell. Poor.

Drink du jour: After a couple of cokes with my carvery, I treated myself to a bottle of Brooklyn. This was a Greene King pub after all, and the beer choice wasn’t great. Strongbow Dark Fruits, anyone?

Away: 2,100. Raucous.

Today’s take home: All to play for!

The Damage:
c. £35 petrol
£3 programme
= £38

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