Bishop Auckland 0-0 West Auckland, Saturday 2nd September 2023

Bishop Auckland 0-0 West Auckland, FA Cup 1st Qualifying Round, Heritage Park, att. 846

For followers of the north-eastern non-league football scene, there was only one place to be today: Heritage Park, for the Auckland derby, Bishop v West. Record amateur cup holders versus former World Cup winners. On a warm late summer’s day. What’s not to like? Also, it’s 20 minutes from my house despite the club car park being full, there was plenty of space in the adjacent retail estate. Indeed, I consider Stabucks still owe me after their tax-dodging debacle of a few years back.

I arrived early, ostensibly to enjoy a pint of Staropramen in the clubhouse at the back of the main stand. Would it be as creamy as last time up? (Not quite, but still a good pint.) Unfortunately, due to licensing laws around here, I wasn’t allowed to take my pint outside. Still, it saved me 4 quid, as I was gonna buy one for Ben, who recognised me from a previous temping job. Him and his Auntie Jane are West fans, so I sat beside him, the only fan in the stand wearing a West shirt.

Thankfully, it’s all very nice, save for a pensioner slapping the special needs bloke a few rows in front of us, 2nd half. (I think he’d taken umbrage at the latter pushing past him for his drum.) All a bit unnecessary, but over as soon as it started. In contrast, the match never got going. 2 saves in the entire match, both of which I’d have fancied myself to make. Several shots high wide and handsome, countless tippy-tappies at the back of Bishop’s defence and 3 wasteful Bishop free kicks from shooting range. As a result, all to play for again on Tuesday, at The Wanted Stadium (née Darlington Road) a mere mile and half away. I hope this afternoon’s healthy attendance of 846 is repeated. Oh, and I was home by 5:20pm, so it wasn’t all bad.

The Damage:
£8 ent
£1.50 prog
£3.80 Staropramen (pint)
= £13.30