Thankfully, we’ve been winning away. And although no-one is saying it, it sounded like we were lucky at Northampton, played against 10 men at Wigan for 70 minutes, and beat a Cheltenham side that haven’t scored in their first 10 games this season (a record) and lost 9 of them. But it’s ok, cos one happy clapper optimist tells me Collins has a better PPG than Duff had at the same stage last season. I take that point, and we may well improve, but Duff took serial losers, having lost our 2 star players (sound familiar?) and within 2 months had gelled a side into something akin to half decent. Crucially, he dropped Connell and when he returned he was different class. What will save Collins? Rumour is (and this rumour comes from the highest) Connell won’t be seen till January. If we’re lucky.
In the meantime, what do we have? Well, we were so desperate Satdy, Collins had both Cosgrove AND Watters on the pitch. I thought he was taking my tea order when he asked ‘one lump or two’. (For the record, Neil, I don’t take any sugar in my tea; get the pair of them off.) I don’t know what was the bigger highlight from Satdy, watching a 6 foot 5 centre forward attempt a dribble on the right wing (spoiler: it didn’t end well) or seeing Watters scuff a close range shot wide late on from...oooohhhh...8 yards? We must be the only team in history who takes a player on loan, sees how terrible he is, then signs him permanently. Still, it passes the time, watching Watters struggle.
By now (the second half) I was sat downstairs with Slacki. I was thinking that with the football this bad, I might as well watch it from the appalling view of 4 rows back. Plus some little irritant had bought the seat next to me in the upper tier and was intermittently banging his seat. When I’m Prime Minister, I’m making it law that anyone under 10 sits in the family section. (Also, no man is allowed to wear perfume, sorry, ‘after shave’ if they’re to sit next to me at a game, my pet hate as I was forced to sit lower tier in my dad’s late years. Note: it wasn’t my dad wearing the perfume.)
Oh, yes, the manager. What team selection, what formation, was THAT? We appeared to alternate between a back 4 and 5. So a clueless back four and a half. There were 3 changes from the side that beat Northampton, one enforced (Lopata injured), the Frenchman returning after his disaster of a debut. McAtee was in for Cosgrove, and for 20 minutes he looked like the forward I’ve been craving, clever movement, deft touches and awareness of the players around him. Then he disappeared, save for the miss of the match (Watters aside, for at least McAtee made decent contact with the ball). He cut inside, 10 yards out…and skied the ball with only the keeper to beat. However, in that opening period he did lay the ball on for Cole to miss the first half’s big (only) chance…his effort hitting a defender.
Phillips was out too, not even on the bench. I’ve never missed him so much. In came Theo Chapman from the juniors. 1st league start? Last, if that’s owt to go by. Had a couple of early touches before becoming increasingly baffled as to what he was doing on a football pitch with actual men. Hauled off at half-time (though you’d have been hard pushed to notice, given his anonymity). On came the towering Cosgrove, and something for our exciting wingbacks to hit. Exciting wingbacks...who’s this Dodgson bloke? Where’s Cadden? God, I’m out of touch. Dodgson was never tested defensively, but never got up the park to put a cross in. O’Keefe on the other flank...well, ditto with regards the crosses, but couldn’t defend for toffee. Skinned more than once, it was his careless tackle which brought the penalty. I wouldn’t mind, but the ball was 10 yards in front of him and safely in our possession when O’Keefe’s leg made contact. Jordan Rhodes (is he still alive!!??) stroked it casually into the bottom corner.
Still, things did improve. Around the hour mark, Cotter and Cadden came on for O’Keefe and Dodgson. Within 10 minutes, both had whipped in deadly balls. (But are they deadly when you’re aiming at Cosgrove? Does a fallen tree make a sound...etc?) Or were Blackpool just retreating that bit further, having a lead to defend? With 15 left, the last throw of the dice, Watters for McAtee, about 10 seconds after the latter’s miss. I could leave now, but I’d miss all the fun. All the fun of watching a slowly leaking tap. Drip, drip, drip...the match drained to its inevitable conclusion.
Should we be worried? Well, next week I’m off to Exeter. So we can kiss goodbye to that excellent away record.
Onwards and upwards!
*** Cole. Good runs, good lay offs, set up a great chance with a direct run and pullback, put his only shot on target.
** Cadden. Great delivery. Should work for Deliveroo, where he’d be more appreciated.
* Cotter. Got up the pitch, and even had a shot blocked (matching the contribution of the front 4).
Official MOTM: McCart. One of 3 centre halves who had nought to do, save for kicking it square.
Londontykes’ POTY: 1. Cole 2. De Gevigny 3. Styles
Despatches:
Herbie Kane and the back 4 or 5. How many times can I watch a team play it backwards or square? (Actually, I saw Darlo do the same last week and it was bloody tedious then.) If I want to watch this kind of moroseness, I’d support whoever Russell Martin is managing this week. Or get my old videos of the Super Reds under Keith Hill. Mind, I guess we’ll have a bit more impetus now they’ve scored. Oh. (An early Kane crossfield ball which played a Red clean through was clearly not a harbinger of things to come.)
Yes, if 6 players (and the goalkeeper) aren’t doing anything creative, that leaves Theo Chapman, McAtee, Styles and Cole to produce something. Let me digest that a moment. Rumour has it Callum Styles thinks he’s a central midfielder. Well, so did I once upon a time. (I mean, I thought Styles would make a good central midfielder. I didn’t mean me. I personally didn’t quite have the athleticism to get up and down the pitch...but I could still play the Kane role, dawdling around the halfway line playing neat 6 yard passes). Styles though...the more I see him play there, the more he reminds me of JCR under Simon Davey, a square peg in a round hole.
I’ll leave the last word to the manager. Apparently ‘we never looked like losing’. Well, given we ‘never looked like scoring’ I’d say he mistakenly thinks a football match is 24 minutes long. By half-time, I’d take a draw. (Slacki held out till 3 mins off the end before agreeing same. I admire his optimism.) Their goalkeeper never made a save.
Drink du jour: Cloudwater Zitruskitzel and Jaipur in Spiral City. The former, I made that age old mistake...I love lemon, I love beer...oh dear, this is a bit sour and actually not very nice.
Away: 1438. Good turnout. Slacki thinks they like a trip here like we like a trip to Blackpool...cos they’re the only fans in living memory who haven’t complained ‘Barnsley’s a sh*thole...’ Fair point.
The Damage:
c.£30 petrol
£50 a star spangled banner (ie, a home shirt)
£2.50 fanzine
= c.£82.50
No comments:
Post a Comment