We get there as the game kicks off. What are those cheers? Those groans? (I hear they had a goal disallowed.) I enter the fray as Sam Cosgrove is taking the ball around the keeper. Since he’s taken the ball away from the keeper, shielding it from him, surely the keeper has just taken him out? Isn’t that a penalty? Can someone remind me how Bolton got given a penalty the other nite? The appeal is waved away. I presume I must’ve been seeing things, my eyesight still acclimatising to the action, so it couldn’t possibly have been a pen.
Besides, the tie is gone. It doesn’t matter. We’re two down from the first leg and without the proverbial clue. We’ve lost the last 4 away games and the team hasn’t simply deteriorated during the last 2 months, it has completely and utterly fallen apart. So it doesn’t matter. Everyone is expecting another capitulation. Roberts has pulled off one diving save and Bolton are looking the more likely when we bound into their box. McAtee shrugs off the defender and chips a delicious ball over the keeper for Cosgrove to power home from virtually under the bar, no mean feat when he had Donovan Pines to fend off. (Well, it looked like him.)
1-0 and the upper tier of the South Stand goes wild. It’s been a raucous affair in the Toughsheet and for 5 blissful minutes the noise was ours. The goal had obviously unnerved the home support. We continued to press, but I said I’d be happy if we could just crawl to half-time at one nil. Famous last words. We’re on 43 minutes and have plenty of men back. Problem is, they all just stand there, allowing Bolton’s January £800k signing a free shot from 25 yards. Personally, I didn’t think the shot was all that special. Is Roberts incapable of saving ANYTHING from outside the box? That was my initial thought after the month our players’ player of the season has had. It’s in the corner, but come on, move your feet man!
Worse is to come in injury time as Roberts comes flapping, the ball is headed across goal and they head in. What did I say last match about his inability to come and claim it at corners? The players’ heads visibly drop and there’s double teapots everywhere as they head back to the centre circle. In the space of two minutes we have not only lost the lead, but are losing. Well, it was nice to have a modicum of hope earlier. Normal service has resumed. Hicksy, having disappeared for a beer, probably thinks we’re still winning.
What wise words did Disco lace the dressing room with at half-time? I dunno. ‘More of the same’? For nearly twenty minutes the game is going nowhere. Then it happens. Inspirational substitutions. Who doesn’t want to see Cotter, Cole and Grant come on? Errr...no-one. I’m irate. Even Disco’s subs are the same as Coach Collins. Left back Cadden is hauled so a right back (O’Keefe) can take his place. McAtee is hooked for Cole. God help us. The one bright spot is the pedestrian Kane being hauled on his final appearance for the Super Reds. We might as well stay down gambling.
What happens beggars belief. We run at them, we storm up the pitch, we are TRANSFORMED. Cole panics Pines into giving him the ball, nods it to Cozzy, who plays it on to an overlapping Phillips who SCOOOORRRRES. Even though it’s at the far end, the whole scene pans out before us and we’re screaming for Phillips to be given the ball. We’ll ignore the deflection. I’m sure it was going in anyway! We have half an hour to score two goals (as long as we don’t concede any). Can we? Can we?
By now the fans are starting to believe. After 2 months off, the team are finally showing up. Connell chops down their forward as he chases back. No free kick. Within a minute we have scored. Grant picks up the ball where Kane used to stand, but instead of playing it back or square, dinks a little ball over the top for Cosgrove to ghost onto and head across the keeper into the far corner. Pandemonium. Bolton are proper panicked. They kick off and hoof the ball to the far left…where no-one has dared step forward, fearing the counter.
Do we have chances to take it to extra time? O’Keefe turns and curls a ball down the line and Cole gets his head down, strips the defender for pace and he’s in. The ball is cut across to Cosgrove, seemingly in space. Can he? Will he? Looked a good chance, but I’m told a deflection wrongfoots him. Another cross has Cosgrove not reaching it but an outstretched leg at the far post clearing the goal by some way. We are so, so close, but Bolton hang on and they keep possession with a succession of throw-ins to see out the last couple of minutes. The tie is gone. That penalty? It doesn’t matter. Of course it doesn’t.
Onwards and upwards!
*** Cosgrove. Superb leading of the line. Won everything in the air, once he’d dropped off Donovan Pines in the middle and bullied the other defender(s) into submission. ‘Where’s he been all season?’ I read on social media. ‘On the bench, while we persist with Cole’ I couldn’t be bothered to reply.
** Connell. Definitely auditioning for that Bolton transfer. Tackling, running back, neat turns wrongfooting opponents, picking passes. Yours for £1.5m.
* Phillips. Always looked a threat. BOGOF?
Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Cosgrove 2. Phillips 3. Connell
Despatches:
I saw Barnsley’s 2 latest celebrity fans last nite. Jon Parkin, now more famous for his ‘Undr the Cosh’ podcast than playing football. He was there, with his Cosh crew (one of whom is a Trotter, so they were in the away end at Oakwell...and the away end tonite). The other one was local boxer Callum Simpson. I know it was Callum Simpson cos he had a t-shirt emblazoned with ‘Callum Simpson’. Who does that? Also, someone called him Cal. I wouldn’t know him from Adam (Phillips?) They’re not very big these boxers. Least he wasn’t.
Anyway, well done the Super Reds, at least got a bit of pride back. It’s been a strange season. We’ve scored over 100 goals whilst playing some seriously dull football. How does that work? We’ve made the play-offs while looking poor for the most part. We’ve sacked a manager while 5th with a week to go. We’ve had a centre forward score 16 by Xmas and 2 thereafter. We’ve had 2 players named in 442’s ‘best 50 EFL players’ who I wouldn’t even have in our starting XI. We have criticised the supply while crosses reign in. We have criticised centre forwards who were top scorers in the division. We have complimented defenders even as goals poured in against us. We have marvelled at Barry Cotter. It has been an odd season, but I’m glad it’s over. We’ve earned a rest even if some of the players haven’t.
COME ON YOU REDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Drink du jour: Stella in the Toby Carvery.
Away: c.2,000
The Damage:
£20 ent
£8 parking
= £28
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