Anyway, it’s becoming a lucky ground (for me). We’ve definitely won there the last 3 times I’ve been, perhaps the only 3 times I’ve been (plus once with Sunderland, back in the day). And to say we’ve played this bunch more than any other team (or second most, I forget) it seems to be that we barely play them. I think it’s to do with 50 years in the second division before we were born. But I love it. 3 stands that have never changed in half a century, save for some plastic seats slapped on them. A Main Stand in which they didn’t even bother putting most of the seats in for nigh on 20 years cos they didn’t need them. Even the fanzine seller reckoned that swapping the home and away ends allowed the (new) away end to be run down. How can you tell?
Another reason to come would be that it’s my last game for a while – I’m off to Australasia till Xmas. And if ever an away match will make you miss Old Blighty, surely it’s Port Vale!? I parked up (usual spot, a back street a couple of minutes away from the pubs on St. John’s Square) but only had time for a quick snifter. One problem with driving through the Peak District (Glossop, Buxton, Leek) is that when there’s roadworks, you’re stuck when there’s roadworks. At least there was a strategically placed Morrisons for all those urinary needs.
Got there in time for the obligatory Remembrance Day commemoration. The bugler made a better job than Shrewsbury, despite an early mishap. Then it was game on, and what a nothing half it was, despite the two goals. We went ahead when Roberts nipped in front of a defender, from a lovely deadball in from O’Keefe. For 15 minutes we then comfortable..till we didn’t. They put a ball in, we had mor than enough defenders there to deal with it and somehow it lands at the feet of the centre forward, who cuts back inside, sidestepping Kilip who’s raced on, and coolly sidefoots it into the empty net. (What I hadn’t seen in the ping-pong was that the Earl kicked the cross straight to their player.) Obviously, we were gutted enough, without scorer Ronan Curtis rushing over ‘shushing’ us. You’ll get yours, Curtis.
Aside from that, I remember Kilip making a decent save, but otherwise, nothing. And nothing continued into the second half, till, just before the hour, Coach Clarke hauls off Watters for Phillips. Whisper it, but I thought Watters was one of our better players, but from here on we roasted Vale. 5 minutes later we were ahead, as Phillips plays O’Keefe free down the right and his cross is swept in by DKD. (If Devante bothered to run past defenders to meet the ball, he’d have scored this goal 20 times last season.)
2-1 and it’s all us. Their goalscorer is dragged off, much to the amusement of the away end. ‘Curtis, Curtis, what’s the score’ was one of the more palatable chants and this continued for the rest of the match. It must have been quite the uncomfortable half hour or so on the bench for the lad. Unlucky. Though I did enjoy a blast of ‘der der der, football in a sh*thole’, a variation on the old ‘library’ chant. Oh, and their mascot is ‘just a sh*t Toby Tyke, sh*t Toby Tyke...’
Wave after wave of attack ensued as Port Vale couldn’t get out of their half, or indeed, get near the ball. O’Keefe and Phillips combined again before Russell curled a beautiful effort off the top of the bar. (He’s very good at hitting the woodwork.) Then, with 10 to play, Phillips plays the ball across goal and Humphreys is bundled over. The kind of penalty we didn’t get in the last minute of a home match the other week. This week (when we don’t need it) it’s given. After what seemed like forever, Phillips steps up and sends the keeper the wrong way.
Thereafter, the only side keeping the score down was us, as a couple of times we broke, outnumbered the Valiants…and took it to the corner flag, much to the chagrin of our support. ‘We want 4, we want 4’. Still, at least we were through. And at least it didn’t go to extra time. I had Strictly to get home to!
Onwards and upwards!
*** Phillips. Game was going nowhere, he came on and we never looked back.
** O’Keefe. Got up the pitch to set up 2 goals.
* DKD. Some sublime touches and, of course, the goal that put us ahead.
Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Phillips 2. O'Keefe 3. DKD
Despatches:
After the match I ran the gauntlet back to the car with the Diss Branch of the Barnsley Supporters Club (Membership: 1) Following the away crowd, I went a different route to usual, meaning we didn’t merge with the Vale fans till nearly at the car. Then a voice behind me…‘How do you tell a Barnsley fan?’ I had to turn around. I’m not getting whacked in the back of the head by some Valiant clown, like someone we all know a few years back. ‘By the f***ing grin on their faces.’ A Vale fan with a sense of humour, as him and his mate waxed unlyrical about their side’s performance (and the referee’s). We agreed it was never a pen, though I thought their 2 appeals were very weak too.
Oh, and it took me 9 miles to get to Stoke railway station, which can’t be more than 4 miles walk. Have I said how much I hate Stoke? Signs that make little sense, roads closed off…Google satnav confused, telling me to turn off expressways over curbs. I DETEST this place. Being advised to go down a dead end street I’ve seen a 100 times on Homes Under the Hammer? Been there. And did I ever find the railway station? No, the street was closed off, so I ordered James out the car at the lights. I hate this place. Hate it.
The other players? Honestly, before Watters was hauled, I was struggling to think of contenders for the top 3. Watters had held it up well and chased and harried, but otherwise…nada. Kilip had made two saves, one a super diving effort, but the other one he palmed right into trouble, but luckily a defender cleaned up. Special mention to POTY Cotter though, dropped from the entire squad for not being able to prompt a side full of reserves to victory midweek against Donny in the Sherpa Van Papa Johnstones wotsit. Rumour has it there’s some poor attitude going on, as there would be when you’ve been senselessly dropped and forced to play with players who’re about to be sent on loan to Gainsborough Trinity (true). But O’Keefe and Phillips had an outstanding partnership once the latter came on.
Drink du jour: MBH Loco Juice. Drinkable, but wouldn’t have a 2nd.
Away: 525 (I think)
The Damage:
£15 ent
c.£30 petrol£1 fanzine
= £46
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