Conditions were perfect. Beautiful pitch, very little breeze, opposition just outside the relegation zone. Devante Cole their star player (on loan from West Brom’s bench). What could possibly go wrong? Inferior opposition ON A PLATE for our front 4 to rack up a score. They did. Nil.
We had ZERO efforts on target (notwithstanding a couple of blocked shots). McGoldrick, Phillips, Vickers, DKD...nuffing. DKD had a pair of shots blocked, but spent the game giving the ball away. This after Mr Jones senior advocated dropping him, pre-match. McGoldrick looks like the has-been he is. Looks good in possession, does all the right things, but lacks the pace to get by a player to have a shot off. Vickers runs around in (tiny) circles. He’d be in my all-time Reds 5aside team right there. Sadly, we play big man’s football at Oakwell. And Phillips. When he’s not being beyond anonymous, he’s punting it over the bar. (To steal a chant; ‘We forgot that you were here!’ Not even one of his quality trademark crosses (cos when we were in a position to cross the ball, we turned it down.))
That said, we should’ve been one up after 5 minutes, Earl putting a completely free header wide off Connell’s corner. All he had to do was head it straight. Oh. The most promising we looked was in the 5 minutes after Cleary came on. He ran and beat the opposition twice. The third time, their bloke simply blocked him off and gained a free kick. The defender had no interest in playing the ball. Can we please have ‘obstruction’ back as an offence. It’s ridiculous.
At least Cooper was having a good game. Caught everything that came in the box, good distribution (apart from an aberration much later, Shepherd rescuing him with the block) and a save from Devante, 1st half. As the ball was played through, in the air, Cooper came out and got a palm to Devante’s effort. Please don’t let HIM score. Anybody but him.
Second half, a pep talk from Conor and...it got worse. Only one team in it second half. I’ll narrow things down to the saves I remember. Cole breaks left side of goal, Cooper streaks out to smother. Vale are 3 on 2 (from our own pass) and Cole has it on the edge of the box on his own. Takes it early, Cooper dives low to his right. A double save off their big #10 after Shepherd stands and stares at a ball over the top.
Finally, the breakthrough. A throw-in, a flick on, and they’re CLEAN THROUGH. Whatthehell is Shepherd doing now? And how slow is Earl? Cooper narrows the angle, but the ball is played across for a tap-in. It’s been coming.
Conor makes his move. Cleary and Farrugia on for Vickers and DKD. Cleary out left, the old man shunted to centre forward, and Farrugia on the right. We have 4 minutes of dominance before reverting back to self. Russell is sent on to no effect and in jury time they bag the killer second. Connell has it nicked and they strive forward and bury it from 20+ yards into the corner. Once again, it is time to stay in my seat to beat the rush. It’s been awful. Our last effort, a 25 yard Earl effort over the bar neatly bookended his earlier miss. What’s going on when our limited centre half is the one with the efforts (vaguely) at goal?
Onwards and upwards!
*** Cooper. Imagine the score without him. Denied Devante 3 times for a start.
** Bland. Tidy, and at least got a sprint on tracking back.
* Connell. Obviously, our play revolves around him so he gets a gazillion touches. Made one great crossfield pass. Saw him sprint once. Really needs to try and MAKE something happen, rather than be content to tippy-tappy it around the area between our box and the halfway line. Herbie Kane Mk II.
I’ve talked myself out of it.
* Cleary. For brightening the game for 3 minutes.
Official MOTM: Cooper
Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Cooper 2. Bland 3. Ogbeta
Despatches:
I went to the Oakwell Sandwich Shop pre-match for pie and peas. Ran out of peas AGAIN. I was not happy. I should’ve gone home there and then. Had to double back to the chippy near The Mount, at the risk of missing the kick-off. (A risk I was more than happy to take. Unfortunately, service was quick.)
Who was our worst player yesterday? Hot competition. I’d problies go DKD, though honourable mentions for everyone else save Cooper, Bland, Cleary and Yoganathan (who came on too late to make enough mistakes). At least twice we kicked simple square balls out of play. It was crap from front to back.
We have now conceded 10 goals without reply in 3 and a bit games. We have not had an effort on target in our last 2 league games, against sides near the bottom of the table (Blackpoo, Port Fail). We are knocking it around majestically without getting anywhere. Like the glory days of Darrell Clarke, or that Scottish bloke whose name escapes me, the one who put up with Herbie Kane slowing the game down all season...Neill Collins! Christ, we made Devante Cole look the best forward on the pitch. (But at least he didn’t score.)
Drink du jour: Beartown Inception at Spiral.
Away: 1,108 ‘Devante Cole...he left cos you’re sh*t.’ Fair play, I did laugh at that one. I’d have PAID to be rid of Devante.
The Damage:
c.£7 petrol
= c.£7
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