It was an awful half of football from us. We shoulda been 2 down before they scored. Cooper made 2 one-on-one saves, while Barrett (one of this week’s centre half partnership – who did YOU get in the sweep?) cleared one off the line while his mate Shepherd blocked another certain goal on the 6 yard line. We were struggling. 7 changes probably didn’t help; only Coops, Shepherd, Vickers and DKD surviving the cull. Thankfully, cometh the half-time, cometh the men: Phillips and Ogbeta sent on to relieve a poor Yoganathan and Cleary. Dynamic management indeed.
Sadly, this is where I must interrupt the report. Towards the end of half-time I snuck off to the toilet when some small child dropped a SCALDING drink on my foot. Honestly, time stood still, as it was a full second later before the pain exploded. ‘YOU LITTLE FUCKING PR*CK’ I screamed before departing for the bog, before me and his mam got into a row. For those who saw that occasion I lost my temper on the train to Walsall when coffee was spilt on me, you’ll have realised my Kryptonite. I have since ALMOST calmed down. I’ve dropped a drink or 2 in my time, and chances are the kid dropped it cos it was TOO F***ING HOT.
Anyway, once I’d relieved myself, I took off my shoe and sock. Should I stand in the Ponty End toilets and run my foot under the tap, or would that look a bit weird? The pain had subsided somewhat, so I elected to man up and get back out there. The Super Reds needed me. I lasted 10 minutes, none of which I can remember for the match. Hanging with former nurse and St. Johns ambulanceman Wadd, he advised I go to 1st aid. My foot was killing me. To cut a boring story short, I limped to the 1st aid post (halfway, under the East Stand) where I was looked after for 20 minutes. Allegedly, we scored 2.
I came back out to a hero’s welcome no response whatsoever, though I did get a text from Nozzer asking how I was, cos he’d seen me limping along the front of the East Stand. And then I watched the last 10 minutes where their keeper was in our box a lot more than our centre forward was in theirs (true).
Onwards and upwards!
*** Cooper. 2 crucial early saves kept us in it.
** Barrett. Cleared off the line.
* Shepherd. Great block.
Official MOTM: No idea. Anybody? (It was Vickers.)
Londontykes’ MOTM: 1= Cooper / Phillips 3. Vickers
Despatches:
Guess what is possibly the greatest cause of injury at Oakwell (beyond Barnsley FC boring fans to death)? Yes, that’s right. Hot drinks. On my return into the Ponty from the toilets, a steward nearly caused me to explode again, as she warned me to be careful ‘cos someone’s spilt a drink’, pointing at the liquid spread across the concrete. In no uncertain terms I explained to her that I KNEW a drink had been spilt there because…etc. More profanities may have gone her way too. I apologise.
Oh, we did create a chance. A chip forward gave Russell a free header. Sadly, it was at the far end, and for reasons I’ve yet to fathom, the Waddingtons and Molls of this world prefer to sit in the Ponty, low enough that you’ve got little idea what goes on in the other box. I’m told it was an awful miss by those cunning enough to stay at home. I thought it was curling a bit left, and Russell was coming in from the right, so to direct it on target would have defied the laws of physics. But, as I said, it was a crap view.
Drink du jour: Leffe at Bramahs, with the Galvins. Thousands of ‘em! (Hi Josie!)
Away: 871 (5,803)
The Damage:
£16 ent
c.£8 petrol
= c.£24
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