I’ve seen this game before. In fact, the last home game (Port Vale). A defender misses an incredible opportunity to score early on (MdG, Satdy, Earl v Port Vale) and then we proceed to create absolutely nothing for nigh on 90 minutes. As Shirley Bassey once sang, ‘it’s all just a little bit of history repeating.’ To be fair to MdG, he’s running across goal and it flicks off his head. Roberts, stood behind him, would have had a free header. The ball diverts to the back post, where McGoldrick, fresh from his hattrick in midweek, heads it against the post from 2 yards. It’s all us.
I think McGoldrick has one other shot all game, into the crowd. (He also has a header straight at the keeper, I’ve seen the highlights.) He should stick to playing tweenies, his 3 goals against Manure’s juniors being one more than he’s scored in the league all season. Still, at just 37 he’s got time to improve. He was that desperate Satdy that he tried taking players on. Just twice, but enough to know he can’t.
Our only other worthwhile opportunity was Connell’s free kick, a pearler of a 25 yarder that the keeper tipped round the post. Decent strike, decent save. And that was that, despite Cleary continually beating his man in the first half. Shame nobody showed for him. Watch Man City. A winger beats a man, drives into the box, and while defenders panic and run towards goal, they pull it back for a Foden to score. Ok, I see a a flaw here. But there’s nothing to stop a DKD, or a McGoldrick, from running towards goal, then pulling out again for the pullback. What do they DO on the training ground?
I’ve heard Hourihane is puzzled as to how we’re not doing better. I’m not. In order to score a goal, one must invariably HAVE A SHOT. I was looking forward to the second half, with a low sun in the Rovrum keeper’s eyes at the away end. The poor bloke could have worn a balaclava the wrong way around and sat down scratching his ar5e, and he still wouldn’t have conceded. (McGoldrick’s header would have hit him.)
It doesn’t help that we’ve no Plan B. Even Liverpoo (champions of England last time I looked) send Van Dijk up top when all else fails. Why not stick Roberts up there for the last 10 and hope something flicks off his head? It would have the added bonus that he’d be far from our goal too.
Roberts. It’s good to be back (good to be back). Honestly, the worse Earl and Shepherd look as a pair, the more that even I was pining for the captain to come back. Pine no more, he’s back, and as woeful as ever. Best moment? Miscontrolling a ball, being beaten and taking a yellow for hauling his man. Lucky it was on the halfway line, cos, believe me, their player was getting to that ball before Shepherd and would almost certainly have been clean through if he could put one foot in front of another.
Roberts also had a hand in the winner. A punt forward, he’s outjumped, leaving Connell to clear up. Connell. F*** me. He does the decent thing and gives it straight back to a Rovrum bloke who pummels it into the net on the half volley from 23 yards. Great finish. Good job too that we hadn’t been warned earlier about poor defensive clearances giving their man on the edge of the box a free hit. (That one cleared the bar.)
We have been beaten by a team with an XG of 0.13. Rovrun came for a draw, and left with a victory. The timewasting, the diving...it was a masterclass of sh*thousery, aided and abetted by a ref who let the keeper receive treatment purely so’s Rovrun could have a timeout. It was the fastest their outfield ran all day, hareing it to the dugout to receive instruction on how to prevent Cleary and Ogbeta causing chaos down our left. It worked. We were never the same again.
Onwards and upwards!
*** Cleary. Not much of a choice.
** MdG. Better than all the rest.
* hmmmm. Using Loko’s logic, it’s Bland ‘for not putting a foot wrong.’ Well, if it’s for not putting a foot wrong, I’d go Cooper in goal. But I’ll use my logic. Nobody. Cooper had nowt to do and did it, Bland had something to do and didn’t.
Official MOTM: Cleary
Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Cleary 2= Shepherd / Connell / MdG
Despatches:
Been a while since I’ve summarised the team and coach. Cooper can hardly be criticised, cracking hit. And it’s not his fault we’re not a goal threat. Ogbeta? Ogworser, as the game went on. Was playing well, in supprt of Cleary, till the Rovrum timeout. Terrible thereafter. I never noticed Shepherd (which is a good thing) but one minor criticism while I’m here...he hasn’t threatened off a corner since Harrogate away in a friendly. (A player capable of delivering a deadball might help.) Roberts? I’ve said my bit. (I can see it now. ‘Give him a chance, he’s just come back.’ ‘At least wait till he’s matchfit.’) He’s an experienced centre half, FFS. If you can’t control a ball at 35, no amount of match fitness will help you.
In midfield, Bland did his usual (not much). Is he purely there to act as a foil for Connell? I don’t see him run with the ball, or pass it forward. Occasionally makes a tackle and kick it square for England. The new Mitch Ward. Subbed for Vickers to run round in circles. Connell, I thought, was at least trying to make things happen. But he needs to practice corners, along with the rest of the team. (I notice at the weekend, a Prem team had a goal chalked off for offside off a corner – none of the defenders being on the line. 2 opposition players stood either side of the keeper to prevent him getting a free run and jump. In contrast, the Rovrum keeper was allowed to run 10 yards unimpeded to pluck out a late corner from us.) Kelly enjoyed one good run forward, then disappeared off the face of the Earth. McGoldrick was abysmal (see earlier) while DKD....DKD? Did he have a touch?
All this of course is on Hourihane. One of the problems with all these young coaches, I think, is that they’re all fresh off the same coaching courses, so they’re all the same. High press, tippy-tappy it around in possession. Christ. My life is disappearing over the horizon while I watch as Bland, Connell, Roberts and Shepherd kick it around each other while we’re a goal down to a side we’ve not lost to at home in nearly 56 years. There, I’ve said it. Even teams we never lose to, we lose to. Hourihane, Clarke, Collins....maaaan, you can go back to Keith Hill. They’re all the same. It’s only Hourihane’s Reds’ playing career that gives him owt in the bank. Let’s see how long that lasts.
Drink du jour: Lightbulb at Spiral.
Away: 1,982 (12,468).
The Damage:
c.£7 petrol
= c.£7
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