Shrewsbury Town 0-2 BFC, Saturday 26th October 2024

‘It’s like a curate’s egg.’

This is what it’s all about. Basking in the sun, watching (squinting!) the Reds run riot against inferior opposition. A walk around the glorious environs of Shrewsbury. Good company (and Molly!). Really, it was the perfect day. Maybe this was what Lou Reed was singing about all those years ago. An away trip to Shrewsbury. (Lou would have loved ‘Gay Meadow’!)

This was a dominant Reds performance, up there with Crawley away. Only a cynic would suggest that Shrewsbury and Crawley will be leaving this division downwards before we get promoted, and thank goodness I’m not one of those. Indeed, what kind of person would point out that the Super Reds only win against absolutely dreadful opposition? (5 wins against the bottom 9, 1 win against the top 15, a flukey away win at Lincoln.)

We murdered Shrewsbury, and yet, as half-time loomed, it was goalless. Watters had spurned the best chance, going clean through and miscuing it wide. But, cometh injury time, cometh the man, as Super-dooper party pooper Jonny Russell let’s Connell’s hook back go over his shoulder before swinging a leg and putting it in the top corner. Plattyesque. (Belgium, Italia 90, though Molly disagrees with my hyperbole. But at the very least, a 3rd division version of that Three Lions classic.) The Shrews response is a 25 yarder beaten away by Kilip, in for the dropped Slow Nina.

Second half was more of the same. Late arrivals from half time pints missed it, as Watters cut inside and neatly buried it in the bottom right corner from 12 yards. Quality finish. Then Connell pings a ball to Watters that the latter takes magnificently in his stride and he’s clean through. Not sure he needed the extra touch though, and the keeper saves. DKD misses another chance and, as a Shrews fan said to us later, ‘Youse never get out of 1st gear, did you?’ It was THAT comfortable.

Mind, we still gave them 2 potshots at our goal, which I think may have beaten Kilip had they not smashed into our defenders’ heads (one was certainly Roberts). Jalo came on too, and managed to get himself injured within a minute. I shouldn’t laugh.

Onwards and upwards!

*** Russell. Instrumental in many a move as his touches continually found Reds players going forward. Oh, and he scored. It was like Platty for England in the World Cup. Did I mention it!?
** Connell. The game was won in central midfield, Luca breaking with the ball.
* Roberts. Sound defensively.

Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Russell 2. Gent 3= Connell/Humphreys/Roberts/Watters

Despatches:
I try not to bury the ref too much, but when he has words with a couple of pairs of jostling players at a corner, then keeps said pair of players right under his eyeballs, and STILL manages to miss one of them completely rugby tackling an attacking player to the ground (Roberts) I despair. For the record, it happened at every corner 1st half (cos it was right in front of us) but the first was the most blatant.

Kilip justified his pick, and it was nice to see POTY Cotter encourage the keeper to lead the fans at the end. MdG brought the ball out well. After a slow start, O’Keefe improved as the game went on. I still don’t understand why POTY Cotter doesn’t start, but he came on and went on a trademark 30 yard run. Gent continues to improve, and might yet make a left wingback (if we play Shrewsbury every week). For a 9ft bloke, Pines wasn’t as dominant as he ought to be. Needs not to misjudge where the ball actually is. I didn’t really notice Humphreys, very quiet, while DKD flitted in and out but showed some sublime touches. And Watters. If we ignore the 2 misses when he was clean through, he was outstanding. More please.

Oh, and the Remembrance Day bugler. What is it about the Remembrance Day buglers in division 3? The most solemn two minutes of the season (every season) shouldn’t end up in a ground full of smirks as the bugler bugles like Les Dawson used to play piano. (Quick bit of maths) If there’s 92 league teams, that’s 46 matches. If they all kicked off simultaneously (which they don’t) we need a MAXIMUM of 46 people able (and willing) to play a bugle. How can we not manage that? A nation OBSESSED with honouring our fighting forces. As it is, with games spread over a weekend, you probably don’t need more than 30. We don’t have 30. I understand that there’s pressure involved…there’s thousands of spectators at Shrewsbury versus Barnsley FC (6, to be precise) but if you can’t find a buglar to hit the right notes in homage to The Fallen, don’t bother. Just press play on a recording. Cos I shouldn’t be hearing the sound of sniggering. I shouldn’t.

Drink du jour: Bodega Bay West Coast IPA in the Henry Tudor. What a FANTASTIC pub this is.

Away: 713

The Damage:
£25 ent
c.£22 petrol (a £65 tank divided by 3 games, TNS with Moll on Thurs, Colwyn Bay Fri, and today.)
= £47

Colwyn Bay 7-0 Prestatyn Town, Friday 25th October 2024

Colwyn Bay 7-0 Prestatyn Town, JD Cymru North, Four Crosses Construction Arena (Llanelian Road), att. 743

I discovered something last nite (Friday). Shrewsbury is NOT an hour from everywhere in Wales. My mistake. Thus, having booked a B&B in Llandudno for Friday nite, I was stretching it for time to get to my original choice of game, Denbigh (who were ironically playing Llandudno). With a journey time of over 2 hours on busy roads to Llandudno, I most definitely did not fancy doubling back 25 miles for a game in front a couple of hundred people. Especially as Molly had pulled out, his other half now coming to stay with him in Shrewsbury. Another look at the Cymru North fixtures pulled up Colwyn Bay. Where’s Colwyn Bay? 15 minutes from Llandudno! Boom!

Thus, when I arrived at the B&B I could relax and have a cuppa, and eat the little pack of ginger biscuits they’d laid out. The life! As is my wont, I still cut it fine, and pulled up outside the ground (actually some way out, in Old Colwyn Bay) with 3 minutes to kick-off. There was some line of cars at the ground and, after faffing around with my coat and glasses’ case, I strode up the hill and made it in time to see the teams come out. (This was at the cost of losing said glasses, which must have fallen out of my pocket, stuffed as it was with either gloves or woolly hat. I take no chances with these evening games.)

I was amazed at the ground. Virtually all-seater, save for a bit of terrace at either end of one of the side stands. Behind the far goal, the Bill Murray Stand (no, not THE Bill Murray) had 3 rows of seats. Why bother? Why not have a terrace at this end? A conversation with a fan suggested Colwyn Bay were preparing for Europe, which is some ambition since they currently stand in the second tier of Welsh football. That said, I was told they’re Wales’s 5th best supported club, after the 4 EFL teams. And that looked about right tonite, as a busy crowd of 742 came to see the home side dismantle Prestatyn 7 (seven) 0 (nil).

Indeed, where is Prestatyn? It must be local, as a few reprobates from my new found teacher friend’s school (in Prestatyn) were there. It made me wonder though. Do the only places I’ve heard of in Wales contain either a castle, a holiday camp, or both? Prestatyn, Caernarvon, Rhyl, etc I hadn’t looked at a league table (it was 2nd v bottom) but there were a couple of hints at Prestatyn’s trials and tribulations. The centre forward was as wide as he was tall, and it wasn’t through years of being on the beer (maybe it was?) He only looked about 20. Another girthy, though taller player, stalked the midfield in slow motion, always half a dozen seconds behind where the ball had been. Let’s be honest, both these two were built for rugby. But that meant the visitors were essentially playing with 9 men. And then the keeper, in his tracky bottoms like a non-league Gabor Kiraly. When you’re saving 25 yarders with your FEET, you’ve got a problem. But all 3 tried.

The goals flew in, the only surprise being there weren’t more of them. This was in part due to a period of shooting on sight at the start of the second half, which cost my teachery friend her beer. Why wouldn’t it be safe, perched on the perimeter fence, 6 yards wide of the goal? After all, there was a giant net spread the length of the pitch to stop flying footballs. Unfortunately, the net was not as taut as ought, and the ball smashed into the pint before pinging back into play. Said pint was all over the poor lady and for a while the bloke next to me and I wondered if she was in tears (she wasn’t, she was ok). Anyway, take heed of the warning at the turnstiles of flying footballs! So beware the 4th side, where I spent the second half, having shuffled around the ground. Although only flat standing, the temptation is to stay close to the clubhouse...and beer. But if you walk on a stretch, to the corner, you can regale yourself of an ice cream! Yes, what else would you want on an October evening in North Wales? Suffice to say, the ice cream van was doing a roaring trade in ice creams covered with something in a toxic shade of blue. The teens couldn’t get enough of it.

The Damage:
£10 ent
= £10

TNS 2-0 Astana, Thursday 24th October 2024

TNS 2-0 Astana, Europa Conference League, The New Meadow, att. 2,022 (c.100 away)

With the Super Reds (Barnsley) playing at Shrewsbury Town on Satdy, there’s the opportunity of some European action, as Welsh (English!) champions TNS are hosting Astana in the Europa Conference League at...Shrewsbury Town. Oswestry’s finest don’t have a stadium fine enough for European action, but Shrewsbury, 15 or so miles away, does. Molly is in, and we make our plans, TNS Thurs, a Welsh game (probably Denbigh) Friday evening, before returning to League 1 action at the New Meadow on Satdy. Sounds like a plan.

I have work to do Thurs afternoon, so make it to Shrewsbury in time for one pre-match beer. My mind is pre-occupied with match tickets. I have bought ours online and cunningly put them in an email folder marked ‘Tickets’. However, for reasons only Microsoft know, my ‘Tickets’ folder isn’t accessible when I open my emails on my phone. I have fired off an email to TNS already, asking for the tickets to be re-send, but I firmly expect my man to be too busy. It is, after all, matchday. So, while I desperately search for Wifi on my laptop at my B&B (so I can access ‘Tickets’) I check my emails on my phone. My man has come good. Well done TNS!

I meet up with Molly at the Lion and Pheasant and we have our one beer. Fine it is too, an IPA of some local kind, though the pub itself is like a quiet All Bar One. I know the ground is a journey, but last time I was here, I got to the ground 15 mins before kick-off and by the time I’d parked up and returned to the ground I’d missed half an hour and the only goal (ours!) That won’t happen again. Moll does the maths and it’s walkable. It was a very nice walk too. Everything about Shrewsbury is nice. For future reference, we also walk past 3 or 4 more pubs on the stretch from the town centre to ground.

Tonite’s opponents are Astana, who may or may not be from Kazakhstan. I think I’ve seen them before, at Spartak Trnava (Slovakia), where I had to leave at half-time in order to get the last train out of Dodge. That’s not happening this evening. Although I wasn’t getting in, as the scanner wouldn’t recognise my ticket till I’d brightened my screen. Grrrrr! I was already slightly narked at agreeing to pay a whopping 500 pence for a programme.

The club shop, AKA a counter laced with TNS products, greets us on our entry. Molly is sorely tempted by a replica shirt. Only £35, a lot cheaper than usual. I loved the snazzy green and white hooped design, but the material felt a little cheap and I didn’t fancy going up in a ball of flame. Moll deferred till half-time and thought better of it. Our stress at making kick-off was unfounded too, as it was an 8pm KO, not 7:45, a fact even the stewards didn’t know. Time for a hotdog to assuage those hunger pangs.

There was only one stand open for home fans. European football is wasted on the good burghers of Shrewsbury. The attendance of 2,022 would be approximately 1/3 of the crowd on Satdy of Shrewsbury Town v Barnsley. Hilariously, our original seats had been moved as TNS hadn’t realised the media expect to be housed too. Oh well. They were still decent seats, fairly high up…but not so high up that we were sat neat The Mouth. The Mouth was a one-man chanting machine who never stopped the entire 86 minutes he was in the ground. Expecting him to be a middle-aged character with SEN, I was surprised to find he was a handsome gentleman of about 30. Whatever, I wish I had his lack of self-awareness. He was eventually joined in by a couple of 11 year olds in a call and response. TEEEE EN ES. TEEEE EN ES. I have this chant now ground into my cerebral vortex.

The match came as a pleasant surprise. Both sides wanted to attack, but some of TNS’s moves were superb. OK, against better opposition, they’d have come undone when losing the ball with too many men committed to attack, but fortune favours the brave and they bagged two excellent second half goals to triumph. How TNS pay for players of this quality, I’ve no idea. Expecting a bunch of plucky non-league equivalents, these players are League 1 at least. Good luck to em, however they’re paid for. How many league titles have they won on the bounce?

As they say, ‘they’ll be dancing in the streets of Total Network Solutions tonight’!

The Damage:
£18 ent
£5 programme
£4.50 hotdog
= £27.50