Sunday 30 October 2016

BFC 2-2 Bristol City, Saturday 29th October 2016

‘You can’t argue when you’re silent.’

Another town centre eyesore about to bite the dust.

After the highs of last weekend, I’ve had a poor time of it this week, being ill for the best part of it, culminating in an inability to sleep.  Up at 6 on matchday with a double earworm: the chorus of the Inspiral Carpets’ ‘Two Worlds Collide’ (‘What have I done with my life?’) combined with Pop Will Eat Itself’s ‘Ich Bin Ein Auslander’.  This is what the prospect of going back to work next week and Brexit does to one’s psyche.  I’ve been in Ghent this week.  Less than two years ago I got 1.41 euros for my pound.  Now it’s 1.11, while at St. Pancras, the exchange rate was £1:€1.01,  F*** me, virtually one to one.  Is this really what our clueless nation voted for?

Sorry, I digress before I even start.  Of course, today was the Big One.  The return of the Little One. The little pr*ck.  Let’s kick his sorry little ar5e back to his ‘Real Madrid’ of Bristol City.  Yes, after the (misplaced?) loyalty shown by Cryne last year in not sacking this idiot after 8 successive defeats and a non-league pelting, Little Lee was somehow rewarded with a (presumably higher paid) job, certainly one with a bigger budget.  And we entered this one with some trepidation, without, arguably, our 3 best players: Hourihane and Scowen in centre mid, and Roberts out again in defence.  Pre-match, I think most would settle for a draw.  I certainly would.  Hecky’s only gone and given a debut to an 18 year old in midfield who even seasoned under-23 watcher Salisbury hasn’t raved about.  Let’s hope the others pick up their game and we make light of the odds.
True Love.  Every home game, this old couple are there.

Having to meet Papa Bear for my season ticket, I was in early.  Early enough, in fact, to see the new scoreboard in action properly for the first time. Did you know it even shows Reds' highlights?  Goals from previous games, etc?  Least I think it did: the screen is so far and away and so small, the only fans in the stadium who can reasonably see it are those at the front of the away end.  Typical; we wait 20 years for one of them scoreboards everyone else has and once we have one, it’s like having a 14 inch screen in the opposite corner of your living room. Pointless.

Without Hourihane, and any other pretender to the throne, Hecky throws another surprise.  Captain for the day is star centre forward Super Sammy Winnall.  Reward for all those quiz victories in the programme last year, probably.  And actually, I was very impressed.  Sam really stepped up to the mark, always quick to get to the referee to help with any discourse between the ref and whichever Red he was keen to book next.  (More about the ref later.)  It also helped that he got some terrible blood injury and was able to return later, further cementing those Butcher-esque leadership credentials. 

By this point, we were leading.   Armstrong and Yiadom forge a move on the left with the latter able to cross the ball in for Marley to head home.  True, Sammy tried getting in the way, but we only have one player capable of winning the ball in the air in their box; our right midfielder.  And for the rest of the half, Marley hammers them.  He may not be especially quick, or tricky, but he shrugs off challenges and doesn’t let defenders get anywhere near the ball.  I love him.  And I love him even more when he plays in a front two.


Welcome to .....

I can’t really remember much in the way of scoring chances in the first half, but it was entertaining nonetheless.  To this, I must thank the Man In Black, who really was something else.  The ref created a rod for his own poor performance early doors when he failed to book a couple of players for bookable challenges, thereby making everything what followed ‘open house’.  Winnall broke from the halfway line, 3 on 3, and is chopped down from behind.  Now, regardless of whether the ref knows Winnall would’ve played the ball straight to their team, this was a stone-cold yellow.  No.  Free kick, and now, amazingly, City have 11 players behind the ball.  

A ball goes out for a throw.  So a City player scoops it over the hoardings to prevent it being taken.  A blatant yellow.  No chance.  (The ref ignores another in the second half.)  Then, for many, the biscuit is taken with the bloody Winnall incident.  ('Bloody Winnall.'  One of my more common utterings.)  Now, I have to say, I’m sat much closer towards the Ponty, so couldn’t see much in it, but I know a man, who knows another man, who swears Winnall took an elbow to the head.  All I know is that SSW is now bleeding profusely.  I can only presume all was fine, cos the ref and linesman weren’t more than 10 yards from it.  But since the ball never reached Winnall and his marker, how the hell else does one get such an injury?

The Ponty.

Next comes a couple of cheap bookings for the Super Reds.  Ok, Morsy was on thin ice the whole time, conceding a couple of fouls and making his mouth go about the decisions.  So I can see why he was carded.  I’d have understood it more if that little fat f*** Tomlin had followed him, cos the pair of them were at it.  So he got a talking to, then, yet, when our 18 year old debutant brushes a player, the ref gives a free kick.  Of course he feels hard done to, but even Winnall running in to calm things down with the ref doesn’t prevent the twit (not quite the word) in black from issuing the inevitable.  Great.  More than half a game to go and our entire central midfield are on yellow cards with a ref who one can best describe as ‘having an interesting game’.  I hold no hope of this match finishing 11 aside.

Then, with time running out in the 1st half, the ref ballses up another decision.  Everyone knows Winnall is going down the second he cuts inside their player.  He hits the floor, nothing in it.  Penalty.  Thank you very much, ref.  Up steps Sammy and a trio of Reds fans start spending the money I’ll be owing them when he hits 10 league goals for us this season.  Sit down.  Sammy’s guilt gets the better of him, as he pussyfoots it nicely to the keeper’s left, easy save.  Oh well, I’m sure it won’t make any difference to the result.  I spend half time saying the word ‘tw*t’ far too much.

The old Main Stand.

Second half and it’s an open game.  The ref has had time to calm down, and the teams have decided not to test him.  We get to watch some football.  Chances come and go before Jackson inexplicably handles a cross for a pen.  Tomlin shows Winnall how it’s done, driving it high into the net.  Boll*cks.  Now it’s time to hang on.  Davies makes an unbelievable save from a header, while Armstrong cuts inside and lashes one off the bar from 25 yards.  We’re still in it.  Then Hecky makes a sub: Hammill on for Marley.  Waddington WILL be pleased.  And within a minute, the difference is made; Jackson falls on his ar5e and a neat throughball leaves Chelsea loanee Abraham in with a tap-in.  (On a related note, wasn’t it a Chelsea loanee who did for us v Reading?  Like anyone needs a reason to dislike them.)  If Abraham’s not offside, it’s great movement, cos he was behind McDonald.

So, that’s it.  Despite all our efforts, we’ve lost again.  If only Winnall…etc  But no, a minute or so into injury time and Hammill does one of those stepovers Waddington so despises, before scoring one of those goals Waddington so despises, sidefooting to the far corner with his right.  This must be some sickener for Little Lee, who surely told his players to watch out for Hammill playing silly buggers before cutting inside onto his right foot.  ‘About time’ most would say, though it could also be noted that Hammill is actually only one behind Super Sammy Winnall in the Oakwell scoring stakes this season.

The City hordes.  Nearly 3/4 of a thousand of 'em.

The top 3 is very difficult this week.  I expect many different permutations from the Londontykes massif.

*** Yiadom.  Tackles, attacks…and with time running out, took the game by the scruff of  the neck to drive past 3 players in midfield.  Excellent decision-making as well as superb fitness levels.  All while playing out of position (left back).
** Watkins.  Took the game to them, especially 1st half.  Another played out of position, how he beats players and finds himself in 10 yards of space, despite limited pace and skill, is a sight to behold.  Notched.
* Kent.  His most consistent game yet, for me.  Didn’t disappear as previous and seemed to be one of those ‘stepping up’ to make up for the debutant.

Despatches:
Hats off to Andy Jones, sending me a text celebrating Winnall’s opening goal.  Oh, hang on, it’s Marley Watkins.  
Overall, I thought Winnall did alright, chasing, harrying, and did an excellent job as captain.  Thankfully came back after his injury.  I’d hate to claim my fifty quid cos he’s ruled out for the season!  Kay came in and did a job.  Put in some tackles and was confident enough with his passing, even if he did lose it on occasion.  Didn’t let the side down and subbed near the end to generous applause.   Beside him, I thought Morsy was excellent.  Our Wolverhampton-born Egyptian international (!) held it together and managed not to get sent off.  Bree was another with his best game this season, at right back, while Davies was faultless.  Another great save to add to last week’s.  Armstrong was everywhere and got the Twitter MOTM (I think; memory is a bit hazy) while the centre halves looked strong, apart from when they didn’t.  I thought McDonald was outstanding again, while Jackson made 2 last ditch tackles and blocked another goalbound effort, yet will mainly be remembered for the handball and slip.  Leaving it all to talisman Hammill to rescue.  Given 15 minutes to win it, nothing went right, until…until…he jinks past a player in the box and buries it from a tight angle.  ‘Adam Hamill is a Red’ echoes around Oakwell.  A skinny bald-headed bloke behind the goal tries to look pleased.

Actually, it was a generally good atmosphere.  I particularly enjoyed it when THEY scored..and all you heard was the Ponty End singing.  And the constant referencing of Little Lee's hat.  Wan*er.

Drink du jour: Erdinger.  I still can’t fathom why the Captain brought me 3 bottles of the stuff, but it was welcome.  Another one in the #7 and vodka and orange home.  I didn’t have alot.  Did I say I was ill?  I didn't even have my usual chish and fips.

Away: 744.  Or about 200 less than village outfit Barnsley took to Brentford last week.  This is what I like about Bristol City; all the advantages of a big budget, without the worry over scrambling for away tickets.  And the way they save their voices for when they’re winning.  Quality.

The Damage: 30 travel
The Tunes:Be One (Wolfgang Buttress)



Oakwell panorama v Bristol City.
The nights are drawing in...





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