Geordie Al's Groundhopper Scrapbook: Borehamwood 0-0 Barnet, Wednesday 1st January 2020

Thursday 2 January 2020

Borehamwood 0-0 Barnet, Wednesday 1st January 2020

Borehamwood 0-0 Barnet, National League, att. 1,401

Welcome to ...

Over the last couple of years I've often marvelled at the National League and the results of Borehamwood, a side with crowds of around 600 punching well above their weight. I was almost developing a soft spot for them. And with my team Barnsley having their New Year's Day game at Derby moved so the nation can see Wayne Rooney make his £80k/week debut for the Rams (paid for by a betting company, while DCFC themselves fail to pay their own players on time and sack the ageing, injured captain for getting hurt in a car driven by his younger, drunker, more saleable teammates who didn't get sacked...don't get me started). Anyway, suffice to say that I have no interest in bankrolling Derby's players at £31 a pop. No, let's go Wood.

The Main Event

Perfect timing too, New Year's Day, local derby, big crowd (but not a sellout...hopefully). And no, it wasn't a sellout. Probably for any number of reasons that start and end with the admission. £20? For a non-league game? To stand? (It seemed to be £20 all round, but who wants to sit in the cold?) Dearie me. Having made my way there, I coughed up, under duress. Still, what a game I had on my hands, local upstarts v the big (non-league) club from down the road. It was truly terrible.

I could have simply stared at the back of the stand for 90 minutes.

I s'pose being up all nite following a NYE party didn't help, nor the hair of the dog beers at whatever time we got to the pub this morning, but, my god, what a terrible game. I vaguely remember a couple of long range potshots, but other than that, I struggle to fathom how two teams can spend 90 mins in the middle third of the pitch. And as for the buzz of a derby....23 'yoof' in the home head either chanting 'We are The Wood, we are The Wood, we are, we are, we are The Wood' or else besmirching Barnet as 'just a bus stop in .....' (I forget where; somewhere in the Herts hinterland.) Or else there were the Barnet hordes, who surely made up more than half the crowd, yet made no noise that made it as far as these ears. Perhaps their lack of a roof didn't help.

What a great des-res.

In fact, so bad was it, I nearly fell asleep (twice) while leaning on a crush barrier (not that there's much call for those around here). Or maybe that was my lack of sleep in the preceding 36 hours or so. I tried to liven myself up by queuing for a burger I didn't want. Thankfully, service was so slow, I decamped back to the terrace unserved as the second half began, my mood not helped by having thoroughly read the programme (another two quid) in approximately 120 seconds while stood in line. That's a pound a minute. I wouldn't mind so much, but it actually covered two games, 'printing deadlines' and all that over Xmas.

The North Bank...is there a theme here?

All of this was a shame, cos it's a tidy little ground, easily reached, 10 or 15 mins from Elstree and Borehamwood station. There's a newish stand down one touchline, and a covered terrace behind the goal for the home fans. A more elderly stand on the other touchline gave the ground character, while at least the away fans could stand on a terrace, as open as it was. Capacity is a decent 4,500, with 1,700 seats, more than enough for present crowds, yet big enough to suggest potential. A shame then that it appeared emblazoned with Arsenal FC here and there, a result of said women's team playing here. In that case, why aren't they Borehamwood Women?

Time to go home and get some sleep. Finally.

Eh?

The Damage:
£20 ent
£2 prog

The Tunes:
Laura Mvula with Metropole Orkest
The Rough Guide to Indian Classical Music (Various)
Music in Exile (Songhoy Blues)
Tales From Turnpike House (St. Etienne)