Is there anything better than watching your favourite player score an equaliser late in a crucial game? Why, yes, YES THERE IS – seeing your least favourite players combine to help gift the opposition an equaliser in a game we seemed destined to win against the odds. Go Palmer! Go Benson! No, seriously, IN THE NAME OF GOD, GO! Coach Asbaghi must have read my last report, bemoaning how I missed being angry for 90 minutes watching this pair of unmentionables strut their stuff on the hallowed Oakwell turf. So with 10 minutes left, ‘just for sh*ts and giggles’ Asbaghi said later*, he put Benson on to join his mate (subbed on after 68) to see the game out against a Fulham side who’d barely threatened Collins all day. You know what happens next…
*not really. But if I put this onto the world wide web, I s’pose I’d better cover myself.
A ball drops in midfield and Cheech and Chong, up against 2 opponents, somehow find themselves the wrong side of the ball. We are now wide open, a pass to their right sees multi-million pounds signing Harry Wilson cut inside and do the inevitable, the inevitable being watching a super talented left-footed player curl a beautiful finish into the far top corner from 20 yards. Resistance broken, Wilson later went on to miss one of the easiest chances I’ve ever seen, heading wide under no pressure with an open goal. So, small mercies for the point.
Rewinding slightly though...if I’m not going to blame Palmer and Benson, or Asbaghi, the fault for Fulham’s equaliser lay with another recent target for blame…Callum Brittain. If he’d been where he should have been in the first half, as we looked to break, Matty Wolfe wouldn’t have been caught in possession, leading to a yellow for scything down his opponent. Wolfe gains possession, looks wide for Brittain….who’s 20 yards behind him, more worried about his opponent though we have the ball. Without that yellow, there’s no way Palmer comes on after 68…is there? Of course, that doesn’t explain why Asbaghi has put Benson on for Bassi. Except that he found putting Cole on for Bassi (midweek) leads to an equaliser for the opposition. Listen, Bassi might have been TIRED, but he’s also CLEVER. Cleverer than anything else in a red shirt. He’ll give Fulham something to think about, beyond ‘BRILLIANT! Barnsley have given up! They’ve sent on a centre midfield who have consistently, and without fail, failed this season.' The slowest, least creative, least physical, least anything, we could possibly put on that pitch. How bad must Hondermarck be? Despite a couple of promising cameos, he’s still passed over for this pair of pr*cks.
Sorry, I was meant to be POSITIVE. We were great. We really were. Fulham, top of the league and with players that cost more than our entire team, struggled to gain any momentum. And we didn’t sit back. No, we pressed high, won the ball, and invariably found our own players (till Palmer came on, blah blah). And we took the lead, as Morris outmuscled a defender (Tosin?) and powered his way into the box for a penalty. It looked iffy at the time. Were his legs taken? Was he pulled back (he certainly was outside the box)? No, he’d simply slipped. No matter. A very generous ref, having taken oodles of time to think about it, pointed to the spot. 1-0, as Morris blasts it in. This is the 44th minute, and yet we still had time to nearly score a second, as Morris chests a ball too far, but lifts it over the keeper….towards the net….but cleared off the line. A superb effort from Morris, though I couldn’t help but think if he’d left it, Vita was in a better position.
Second half…it was more of the same, wasn’t it? Helik winning everything against Mitrovic, Gomes cleaning up in midfield, and Vita scampering about annoying anything and everything. (Think of a midgety Chris Dagnall. Or indeed, Chris Dagnall.) We couldn’t even rely on time-wasting, either, as the ref booked Morris for sprinting 20 yards to prevent a quick free kick. I know, I know, this is a pet peeve, but I applaud any ref who clamps down on this ‘game management’. If only refs knew they’re allowed to pull up OPPOSITION players for this, too. Mind, he was kept busy enough with Fulham’s continual attempts to take free kicks from the incorrect place, trying to steal yards here, there and everywhere. If you do this with a throw-in, (in theory) possession is ceded. But in the world of free kicks, Fulham just get to take it from the proper place.
Then Palmer came on. Then Benson came on. Then we got relegated.
Onwards and upwards!
*** Helik. Tonight, Matthew, I’ll keep the Championship record goalscorer quiet. And clear 2 off the line / as near as makes no difference.
** Andersen. Why not? Centre halves come in partnerships, and these two make a great partnership. Come see them while you can!
* Gomes. I thought he was tremendous, especially 1st half. The unsung cog in our bargain bicycle chain.
Official MOTM: Vita. Obviously made an impression running around out of position.
Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Helik 2. Andersen 3. Vita
Despatches:
I made someone laugh on Satdy. I know – imagine! I was leaving Oakwell and just chatting to a face I know. ‘Oh yes’ I said, ‘I nearly forgot….my dad died this week.’ A bloke alongside chortled nervously, his mind blown. But that’s the power of football. The power of Romal Palmer. It can take your mind off some of the other things in life, like life.
I’m not a vindictive person (yes I am) but that Palmer bloke needs to start worrying about life too, his contract’s up in the summer. The biggest smile I saw all day was from Jonesy when I told him this news in the pub, post-match. It’s nice to be the bearer of good tidings. (What’s the odds we give him a new contract?)
Pre-subs, Asbaghi’s tictacs seemed spot on, albeit with Vita playing up front, wide right, in a 4-2-3-1. Only Barnsley FC can take not one, but two, left sided defenders and turn them into right sided attackers. Anyway, Vita was a pest, even if he had little chance to prove his attacking ability. Wolfe again gave us some steel in midfield. Christ, he can even run with the ball, as he did on one occasion, 30 yards. I’m bored now making comparisons to his predecessors. Quina continued to threaten, and continued to hog the ball in promising positions. But he certainly presents a promise few, if any others, do. Morris battled, and deserved his reward. He’ll be a real asset in division 3. (I say this without irony.)
Oh, and no wonder we’re fighting relegation. In an interview in the programme, Adeboyejo tells us the best player he’s ever played with plays for 4th tier Leyton Orient!
Drink du jour: IPA in Spiral City. Cheers whoever got me one in.
Away: 1,074. Massive club.
Number of league games since the Super Reds went on to win a game having conceded an equaliser: 47. Another game is gone once the opposition equalise.
The Damage:
c. £35 petrol
£3 programme
£12 hat
= c. £50
The Tunes:
BBC5live
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