Please, EFL, NEVER have us kicking off a home game on April Fools Day ever again. Not if I have to put up with various Londontykes trying to outfool one another with japery you could signpost. Mads out for the rest of the season having been beaten up midweek by Washday fans? Duff to Palace in the summer, done deal? Devante Cole to score 2 goals in the same match? Yeah, yeah, whatever. Next time, try to be a little LESS preposterous in your japery.
We don’t give Morecambe a chance. One up after 3 minutes, 2 up after about 20, 3 on the half hour….we could hit 7 or 8 here. That we don’t is down to Duff giving the lesser lights a runout and taking off star man Connell at four nil, 55 minutes in. Thereafter, we play neat little triangles in the middle of the pitch and proceed to do nothing for half an hour. Thankfully, a corner into the box in injury time gives Bobby Thomas the chance to add the cherry on the icing.
The first is straight off the training ground, as Kane drags the ball back from a free kick for Connell to hit low and hard, Cole gobbling up the rebound from 6 yards. We increase the lead from another Connell shot, as the keeper parries, we whip the ball straight back in and Watters provides the presence and their defender the final touch. Of course the PA announcer gives it to Watters, but his reluctant celebration is the giveaway. The third confuses me. Is that Mads Andersen dribbling in from their right? Yes it is. And Mads is confused too, as the ball bobbles around before deflecting off a defender for Kane to join the party. We could be talking silly numbers today.
The fourth, early in the second half as we kick towards the Ponty, is a beauty. Jordan Williams plays the ball inside and Kane dummies it for Cole to have a tap-in. This is the greatest dummy since Danny Wilson’s first season in charge, when we won 3-1 at Notts County. Problem is, with memory failing, I can’t remember if it was Payton’s dummy for Brendan O’Headless* to score, or vice versa. (The game also inhabits what’s left of my memory as my nana had never rocked up to an away game before, but hearing that her favourite - only – grandson was hitching up to the game from London, she came with my dad who’d called into Barnsley on the way down; try explaining to a pensioner why 1500 Barnsley are chanting ‘your mams and dads are scabs’ at the junior section**.)
* still one of my favourite ever Reds players
** the only part of the home end making any noise, hence the chants being directed towards them
Then Duff takes pity. Phillips, Russell and Benson come on for Connell, Thomas and Kane and all midfield impetus is lost. Tedic looks keen when he comes on for the lump that is Watters, but the supply line has dried up. We even let Morecambe have a kick, as former Red Dan Crowley (remember him? On loan from Arsenal? ‘The best 17 year old in the country.’ No? That’s cos he was RUBBISH.) Anyway, he bangs one off the far post from inside our box, as we start getting cocky. Still, it’s the wake-up call we need not to take liberties, and we play keep-ball. A rare foray into the final third brings a corner which Thomas heads in at the back post from a height of about 3 foot. THAT is how appalling the Shrimpers are. ‘You can only beat what’s in front of you’ et cetera.
Onwards and upwards!
*** Connell. Tackles, drives forward, shots. It’s no coincidence our game ended with him.
** Mads. As perfect a game as one could play in central defence at home to Morecambe.
* Goal King Cole. Scored 2 and good outfield play in the second half. (Couldn’t hold a ball up for toffee, first.) Denied his first (last?) hattrick by an incorrect offside flag, though it looked offside to me.
Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Cole 2. Andersen 3.Connell
Official MOTM: Was it Mads? (My memory…or lack thereof…is a concern.)
Despatches: Good to see Duff agreeing that Phillips is a passenger, and demoting him to the bench. Or b) giving Luke Thomas a runout in a presumably easy game, get him back to full fitness, etc. Ditto Watters for Norwood. There is no way this lump of lard gets a game otherwise. He must be six foot two, 2 feet wide of…what? I never saw him once win a header, but that’s probably cos he can’t jump. Watch him. Kane was excellent in tandem with Connell, while the defence were untroubled, save for that Crowley shot.
Good atmosphere too, though I drew a line at waving my scarf about by the 4th. It was cold, godammit. Bumped into a couple of Morecambe fans in the chippy beforehand. They predicted 5-0. ‘But we won’t let the football spoil our day.’ Honorary Londontykes! Mind, must mention Nice Guy Chris. Who says perennial optimism doesn’t pay off? He’s won a tenner off me for Cole reaching 14…and now the talk is that he’ll hit 20. Wind yer necks in, lads!
Oh, and I passed another milestone today. A few months shy of the half century, I can finally say I’ve had a go of the old Polyfilla. I used to have a life…
Drink du jour: Some average pale ale I’ve never heard of in Spiral City.
Away: About 200.
Today’s take home: Clever management (again) from Duff. Off to Palace in the summer I hear…
The Damage:
c. £30 travel (petrol)
= £30
No comments:
Post a Comment