*you should have seen the photo. Imagine a 50 year old white woman all blacked up with a reggae wig. I am STILL laughing, though I know I'm not allowed to these days...
Or have we? Was that 3 minutes into seven (actually 10) minutes injury time? In the very final minute, Wycombe get a free header off a corner. We all wait for the ball to smash the net, only it’s wide. I wonder aloud ‘Was the keeper blocked, or just stood on his line like a lemon?’ The lady in front of me turns around. ‘A lemon.’ Then turns back. We really have won.
I guess here is where I say we fully deserved it, after yet another entertaining, enthralling devil-may-care attacking performance. Or b) 70 minutes of turgidity (please tell me I have invented a word), brought almost to life by Styles being hauled, McAtee dropping to a #10 role, and Jalo causing carnage everytime he had the ball. And, dare I say it, Cosgrove on...whatever the hell he does. (‘err...last minute winners?’)
Within minutes of dropping deeper, McAtee put the ball into open goal areas for our centre forwards (Cole and Cosgrove...’CAC’ for short) to comprehensively avoid. The first, McAtee whips it across goal with the outside of his right boot and Cole is centimetres from touching it in. Cole has no sense that this ball is going to be put into a place he couldn’t possibly miss from. The second was arguably worse, as a ball 3 yards from goal appears to go THROUGH Cosgrove, then Cole, with the keeper stranded. Add the open goal Cole wasn’t fast enough to react to in the first half, that’s a hattrick any ‘sniffer’ would’ve had. He gets hauled for a teenager (Jalo).
It’s now Jalo’s turn to shine. He’s only been given 6 mins (plus injury time) but he runs at the opposition and 2 are booked for hacking him down. The first, the ref plays the advantage and Jalo problies thinks the ref’s not seen it, the 2nd, he nutmegs a defender by the corner flag and is scythed down before he reaches the box. There should have been a third, as he’s wrestled to the floor after the ball is gone, but I guess the ref missed it, following the ball (it was THAT late). Now, is Jalo absolutely brilliant, or was he playing against a tiring defence? And were they deliberately targeting him cos he’s a youngster? Or were they swinging an angry leg at a player who’s a different level? It was certainly an interesting 15 minutes of cloggers (plural) v class.
I’ve seen we had 2 (TWO) shots on target. I can’t remember the other one. If our xG v Lincoln 1st half Satdy was 0.07 (and it included a Cadden 25 yarder well saved), then what was the first half xG for THIS? It was appalling. So another ‘good performance’ from the manager. I think it’s these comments, rather than results, which will do for him in the end. You can fool some of the fans all of the time, all of the fans some of the time, but never all of the fans all of the time. We had another manager fairly recently who liked to polish a turd. Who was it? Asbaghi? Schopp? I can’t remember, but one of them who saw a different game to the masses, never changed his views, and was eventually sacked to no-one’s sorrow*.
*by ‘masses’ I mean those of us willing to sit through this. I’d be amazed if there were even 8,000 in the ground last nite, though the gate was never announced. (10,466, allegedly.)
Half-time came, and once Nozzer recognised me he came over. (I’d cunningly disguised myself with clever use of a pair of reading glasses; otherwise, my attire was as it is every game...red coat, dark blue boot cut jeans, trainers, oversize handknitted red and white scarf...devilishly handsome looks) And the mild mannered janitor had something to say for himself, as he vented spleen on that there ‘performance’. What a rant that was. Truth be told, I think he was just cold and was trying to warm himself up. I enjoyed it. I thought ranting about our ineptitude was one of my ‘skillz’. Word to the wise though: if you want a warm, have a go on the hand dryers in the toilets, they’re lovely and normally restore my moral at HT...ready for a rant! Mind, it was cold. When people say ‘it was freezing’. Can I just say the proof in the pudding was that I had to de-ice my car when I got back to it?
Onwards and upwards!
*** Connell. Lasted another 70 odd minutes and was the class act in our side, reading the game, making passes (short and long), putting in tackles. Just needs his energy back for those drives forward!
** Jalo. It was a cameo, but what a cameo. As long as we give this lad the ball at his feet, we’ve half a chance.
* McCart. Two crucial blocks, one in either half, preventing possible/probably goals.
Official MOTM: Connell
Londontykes’ POTY: 1. Connell 2. McAtee 3. Jalo
Despatches:
Did I say one of their players got a red card for arguing about the goal? I’m not surprised. Imagine if THEY’D scored that goal, what a rumpus there would have been at Oakwell. But let’s not forget, the keeper only had it in his possession cos after a corner he went down pretending to be injured. Tw*t. (Twit!) Similar happened first half too. A corner is cleared to our right, we’re about to whip it back in when a Wanderer is seen lying on the floor holding his head. It’s all defenders have to do these days, go down, holding your head, drop ball, danger averted. My dad always used to moan on that football should take a leaf out of rugby’s book and allow the physio on during play. You’ll soon see who’s play-acting then!
Although we had most of the ball and play, Wycombe had a few breaks they could have done better with. Kane gave the ball away cheaply, leaving Jordan exposed, but thankfully he coped / Wycombe messed up the pass, 2 on 1. Did I say it was the same team as Satdy, meaning another chance for Kane to do nothing further up the pitch? Styles managed this too. Imagine a player who gets 90 minutes for Hungary not being able to pull up trees in the English 3rd division. Puskas must be turning in his grave. Hauled after 60. Same as Satdy v Lincoln, Cosgrove on (CAC!) and McAtee dropping...and McAtee looking different gravy to Styles. 74,. Connell tiring, on comes Phillips. Did he do more or less than nothing? Back in defence, Cadden was his dependable self. Between him, Cotter and De Givigny (from a half cleared corner) there were 3 delicious balls into the ‘corridor of uncertainty’ for Cole to hide behind numerous defenders rather than bust a gut to run to that front post. (Part of me wants to commend the Wycombe defending, but it’s EVERY GAME.) Ahh, Cotter. He has two games, worldie and worldly awful. It was the turn of the latter last nite. Couldn’t put a foot right, yet still wasn’t as bad as the last home game (Fleetwood). Falling over, losing the ball, crossing it into Row Z...he has a plethora of abilities. Over ambitious shooting too, as he attempted a 25 yarder with a defender right in front of him (blocked). But if you saw what we had up front...Anyway, O’Keefe came on and his first input was to let a gentle ball go under his foot for a throw. (Insert blaspheme here.) De Givigny I didn’t really notice. But it got me thinking….is he standing out above McCart every game purely cos he’s in the middle of the three, thereby gets to do a lot of the easy stuff? Anyway, just a thought. Did he have the header which for all the universe looked over, but somehow hit the bar? (The keeper collected the rebound as we stood and watched.) Jordan played quite well, but I am starting to be of the opinion he’d better out wide, with Lopata in the back 3. Though that would bring an end to my love affair with Cotter. Brilliant, or batsh*t, at least he invokes SOMETHING, at least he makes me feel SOMETHING. I could watch Kane all day and never get beyond ‘meh’. Kilip? Nothing to do apart from come out and claim that last minute corner. He didn’t.
Drink du jour: Leffe in Wetherspoons with the Galvins. And I hope Lord Selwood will be proud of me…I had the vegetarian curry! (‘as part of a calorie controlled diet’…as the ads used to say.)
Away: c.200. It was never announced. Perhaps another victim of our lack of admin campaign (Horsham anyone?)
The Damage:
c.£8 petrol
= c.£8
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