So it was that my long envisaged few days down in the capital to see us obliterate Charlton and Stevenage were…obliterated. Like the Super Reds, really. We’ve now more away defeats in 4 days than we had all season. Perfect timing with the play-offs looming. Can we still miss out on a not-very-coveted semi-final place? Well, we’re trying, though I wouldn’t say the forthcoming fixtures are quite kind enough for BOTH Lincoln and Oxford to overtake us.
Yes, we managed to lose again, in what many were saying was our worst performance of the season. It was certainly the worst I’d seen. Worse than Cambridge home, just the other week? I’d say so. A terrible opening half was bettered (worsered?) by an abysmal second. I was just pleased that Farnham was there to give his usual half-time assessment of ‘I hope that was our bad half’. It wasn’t. It’s not quite what I’d envisioned for our historical first ever visit to Stevenage.
Somehow, we were level at half-time. The Boro (why did they drop the ‘Borough’ part of their name, to sound as dull as anywhere else?) spurned 3 goalden opportunities to take the lead before a ball over the top from keeper Roberts was latched onto by Phillips, who nonchalantly lobbed the keeper. A finish so cool I had to rub my eyes and double check it wasn’t McAtee. As it was at the far end, debate abounded as to how he wasn’t offside, and whether the kick was a goal kick. Our minds had collectively drifted at the anaemic performance. (It was a free kick from the edge of our box.)
Beforehand, they’d had two free headers (directed at the keeper) and a tap-in from a fantastic run and cross from their right, which the centre forward somehow scuffed wide from 3 yards. I thought only WE had players who could do that.
After our goal we enjoy our best spell of the match. Russell goes clear but a mix of defender and keeper put the block on. Have we broken Boro’s spine? Onwards to victory! Or not. It’s the 2nd minute of 5 mins injury time and their bloke cuts inside from the left and drills it low into the bottom corner. Now, I may be being a bit harsh on Roberts, but from where we were (right in front of where the player cuts inside) there’s only one place their bloke can score and it’s Roberts’ near post. There’s that many other players in the centre, he’d have trouble finding the net that way. However, the defence hardly cover themselves in glory, panicking, losing their men and running towards the 6 yard box like headless chickens.
Hopes that their goal would wake us up at half-time prove false. Coach Collins sends em out and tells them to carry as before. Cosgrove fails to get on the end of a wicked RW cross before they go ahead with a free kick that avoids the wall entirely and curls into the middle of the goal. How does Roberts NOT save that? That’s two (weak) free kicks in 2 games he’s conceded. Do we have anyone who can practice weak free kicks, so he’s ready for the next one? (That’s rhetorical.)
Then Roberts keeps us in it with 3 magnificent saves. I’d have preferred him to do this at nil nil. We get a bit lucky when another shot cannons off the post from 20 yards, their attacker getting the shot off despite being surrounded by 4, 5 Reds defenders. We are awful.
By now, Coach Collins has sprung into action. He’s only gone and sent on CAK (Cole and Kane) for Cosgrove and Russell. Heaven help us. Herbie somehow punts a ball out for a corner with his 1st touch. Cole fails to get on to the end of a delicious RW ball (I tell you, it’s EVERY game!) but, with maybe 10 mins left, he’s clean through. How did that happen? He’s 10 yards out, pulling his leg back…even I have to admit he’s scoring this one...when he’s taken out from behind. Bl**dy hell. It’s a penalty, and a sending off to boot. The defender makes no intention of playing the ball. There’s no way he even can. The ref waves play on. (He’s poorly positioned, directly behind the defender and Cole, but what’s the linesman doing? Not watching play, that’s for sure.) Still, a more reasonable man than I would say we got what we deserved, which was absolutely f.all.
Onwards and upwards!
*** Nobody. It was shoddy from front to back.
** Nobody. Honestly, Nobody shone throughout.
* Nobody. I’m almost tempted to give Roberts a point. Or Phillips. But I won’t, cos I’ve come over all Tom (petty).
Londontykes’ MOTM: TBA
Despatches:
For the uninitiated, the football magazine 442 listed its top 50 EFL players in this month’s edition. Now, obviously, they do it to provide discussion / controversy by including some League 1 and 2 players. (Are you telling me at least 40 of the best 50 don’t play for the current top 4 in the Championship?) So obviously they include 2 (TWO) Reds players. Are you starting to laugh yet? Which two, do you think? My guesses were Connell and MDG. Yes, I know Connell is half the player he was last season, but who else could POSSIBLY be in 442’s thoughts? McAtee? Ah, but he’s not ours. Can I have a drum roll, please? I give you CAK. Cole and Kane. I kid you not. At #27 and #25 respectively (I’m told – I haven’t actually read it. Christ, I thought it was a FOOTBALL magazine. The least I’d expect a football magazine to know about is FOOTBALL.) Two players who wouldn’t (and didn’t, last nite) make our starting XI. The world has gone MAD. I just wish this edition had come out in December and convinced some mug to buy them (BOGOF?) in January.
Oh, Jalo came on last nite, so that was good news. He got chopped 3 times in 5 minutes. Tho I wish the older bloke on the supporters coach would stop calling him JLO. That’s Jenny from the block (used to have a little, now she has a lot). Had a half chance, disappointingly dragged wide.
Cosgrove. Where to start. Just insert any game from his entire season (apart from that last 30 seconds at home to Wycombe). Defenders can do what they like with him without recourse, but the minute a defender goes over it’s their free kick. We had a doozy last nite, as their keeper came out to punch and cleaned out his own defender. Free kick for a foul by Cosgrove. It’s getting silly.
Oh, and thanks in despatches to Nice Guy Chris, having a pint ready for me in the social club. The place was large too and I got to see their mascot, Boro Bear. There was another social club behind the away end. It’s embarrassing that a club that were non-league last week (it seems) have fan facilities far superior to our own. What do we have? A posh bar in the East Stand you have to pay a fiver just to get into?
Course, I only had time for a rushed pint cos I came down with the official supporters club. Why get there a couple of hours before kick-off when you can make it one (with half an hour at Peterborough services)? It’s a long way to come to watch that sh*te, so the least I’d want is chance to have a beer with my mates. Oh well. Maybe I need to enquire about the unofficial coaches. Mind, have you ever known a bus with 4 Allans (Alans) on it? Me neither. But I did last nite. (And one of them wasn’t even Bloore). You don’t have to be over 50 and called Al(l)an to be an official supporters club traveller, but it helps.
Mind, the unofficial coaches will have some of our best nobheads on, won’t they? Yoof who are keen to dole it out, but when one of their charges gets chucked out for being a d*ck, they’re all squealing ‘but he’s only 16!’
Once again, we were regaled with the ‘Neil Collins, your football is s***’ chant. True, but still. The same boo boys were deriding the long balls...though seemed happy enough when Phillips scored from the longest of them. I do share their frustration though. We either tippy-tappy it about (hello Herbie!) or launch it long to players who can’t win a ball, nevermind hold it up (Hi Devante!). I have never known a set of supporters feel so low as they enter the play-offs. Yes, I’m still saying we’ll make the play-offs.
R.I.P. Redders. Love you.
Drink du jour: Level Up IPA. Very nice.
Away 769.
The Damage:
£25 ent (£1 admin fee)
c.£8 petrol
£27 coach
= c.£60
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