BFC 2-2 Bristol City, Friday 1st November 2019

‘Sack the board, sack the board’

Friday night under the lights.

Who’s idea is Friday nite footie?  What a pile of the proverbial.  Days off work (not everyone lives in Grove Street) for a Sky audience of…what?  350?  Tho maybe it was more, given the crowd at Oakwell can’t have been more than ten thousand, whatever the claims of 12k+ were.  It’s like at Arsenal, where they claim 60,000, despite the fact you can clearly see the pattern of the cannon in the seats.  So maybe plenty were watching it at home.  Or else in ‘tarn’ drinking.  Why let Sky ruin a perfectly good Friday night?  (Mind, it could be worse…Dutch second division games are always played on a Friday!)

Welcome to ...

We were very down on Friday night.  Losing 0-2, it p***ing down with rain, little to no hope of a comeback…chants calling for the owners’ heads (are they going to sack themselves???)…everyone wishing they were somewhere else.  In fact, thank goodness for said rain.  It’s problies wot stopped more folk from leaving early.  That they came in the first place was testament to some delusion…or faith…that this team would pull something off.  And for 71 minutes, it looked bleak.

Talking of bleak...thirty quid to see THIS?  Good luck.

Don’t get me wrong, we’d played well (again) but we were losing (again).  Having had the advantage of seeing a repeat of the match the next day on Sky, I concur with whichever commentator said ‘the keeper’s saves were better than the finishes’ in describing a couple of incredible saves by Daniel Bentley, saves that somewhere gained him the MOTM (announced, with perfect timing, before we equalised).  Firstly, Malik Wilks cut inside and curled an effort to the far corner, which the keeper tipped around the post.  The second was even better, as the keeper got a touch on Chaplin’s close-ranger and it cannoned back off the post.  Either would have put us in the lead.

The teams line up.

City went ahead just before half-time.  Like a child disappointing a parent, former favourite Marley Watkins was given a tug and went down like a sack of s***.  Free kick, and a chance for Cavare to stand still as Ashley Williams (the biggest bloke on the pitch) had a free header.  Cue boos ringing round Oakwell for Watkins’ ‘professionalism’.  Having seen it again, the question I’d ask is ‘was his shirt pulled’ (yes) and ‘is this a foul?’ (yes).  So what’s everyone complaining about?  Watching it again on telly, I was able to see several decisions in OUR favour, but no-one mentions them; a corner gained when our guy blatantly headed over, and a Diaby bodycheck which went unpunished.  This alleged bias against us is complete rubbish.  (Tho a free given against Cauley, when their bloke climbed all over him and landed badly was a poor decision.)

A sparse Ponty v Bristol City.

Second half came around and we were going nowhere, absolutely nowhere, when they bagged a 2^nd, again from a deadball.  Interim head coach Murray has introduced 3 at the back, and still we can’t defend a corner, Weimann dropping off from his marker and looping a header to the back post.  Of course we don’t have a man on the post – why would we?  No-one ever scores there (!)  What is it with this fad for zonal marking?  Abysmal.  Those preferring a walk in the downpour to watching this rubbish start to trickle out.

Barnsley, on a Friday night.  Well done Robins!

More fool them, of course, as Halme powers in a header from a corner of our own.  Looks like City are just as good as us at marking.  We proceed to miss chances, each one looking like the last…Diaby heading over from close range…Cauley bobbling one with Diaby in close attendance (putting him off in way he doesn’t put off opposition strikers?)…a misunderstanding on the backpost (Sibbick and Simoes?) while a couple of other Cauley strikes are wayward.  Then, with time virtually up…was it sub Simoes playing a one-two with Sibbick?...the ball is rolled across, Schmidt knocks it goalwards and Cauley pokes it home.  Oakwell has not seen celebrations like this since the last time we equalised in the last minute, about 3 weeks ago.  Carnage.  How long left?  Just enough time to worry about City breaking up field to nick it, yet not enough time for them to do so.  Phew.  We got out of jail here.  We have reached the heady heights of second off bottom.
Onwards and…upwards!

The teams take advantage of a break in play.

*** Halme.  Sponsors’ MOTM.  Good interceptions and cracking header to put us back in it. 

** Thomas.  We were going nowhere till he came on, running at players, popping balls off down each wing.  Best player on the pitch once he was on.

* Cauley.  Can’t argue with bagging a last minute equaliser when playing in a team as poor as this.  Shame he thinks the same, often going for goal from improbable positions, such is his lack of belief in the rest of the numpties.

Londontykes' MOTM: 1. Mowatt  2. Halme  3. Dougal
Despatches:Big thanks to Mrs Reed, who picked junior and I up from Donny pre-match.  Not sure her cat was so grateful tho, as we returned from Oakwell to see the soggiest puss I’ve ever seen.  Double thanks, as Mrs R let Andy and I watch a re-run of the match on Sat morn while she’d planned to watch the rugger buggers.  As it was Andy’s birthday (Happy Birthday Andy!!!!) we’d rocked up to the pub at 11…but it was shut, so tail between legs, I was forced to watch the 1^st half of the rugby anyway.  We left again at half time.  I hope England lost.  I hate rugby.  Where’s the fun in watching big blokes push each other, repeating the same routine time and time and time again?  Without any paint to watch dry, I stood up and stared out of Cynthia’s front window, gazing at the raindrops splashing into the pond/lake (this is Hoyland; it’s posh like that).

The players?  I know everyone else thought little Alex Mowatt head and shoulders above the rest.  While he was tidy, most of his corners were the usual dink into the middle, and I wasn’t impressed to see him lose the ball late on, then fail to track back.  Dougal had another good game, breaking down the opposition.  Wilks had a very promising first half, before disappearing.  Brown showed potential going forward, but I’m at a loss as to why some folk say we look more solid under this new manager; between Brown and Sibbick were great swathes of pitch asking to be attacked.  Diaby looks like what he is…too big and slow to turn.  And he’s not even that commanding.  I guess none of them (the centre halves) are, which is why we need 3 of them.  Cavare again showed he’s better going forward than defending…which is great, when he’s a defender.  Noticeably, the comeback started after Chaplin went off.  What does he do, apart from make Woodrow look even better than he is?  Later on Simoes came on, as did Schmidt, who (we think) touched the ball once in 20 minutes.  It was a very good once though (we scored).  

Drink du jour: Leffe, on the train.

Away: 512.  A fabulous turnout from a team with a tradition of fickle support at Oakwell.  Still, they were due to go 2^nd if they won.  Which they didn’t.  Unlucky, Little Lee.

The Damage:£21 train= £21

The Tunes:
Crush (Floating Points)
It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back (Public Enemy)
Blindfold EP (Curve)
Cherry EP (Curve)
Frozen EP (Curve)

A soggy moggy gets dried.

Clapton CFC 4-0 Hounslow United Reserves, Saturday 26th October 2019

Clapton CFC 4-0 Hounslow United Reserves, Middlesex County Football League Premier Division, att. 329

Indeed.

Only a fortnight after our last visit to Clapton, we were back; Londontykes Dave, Maria, Loko and myself, along with Gunner Rod and junior, all of us still giddy from Non League Day, where we and 897 others turned out.  There weren’t that many this time, only 329 braving the incessant rain (though it was the players braving it, we were tucked under a roof behind the goal).  But it’s quality not quantity wot counts, and the ultras continued the 90 minute barrage of noise.  Well, more of a hum than a barrage, but still.  I doubt it’s something Hounslow United (reserves) hear every week.

Clapton Ultras.  Actually smiling at football.

We met up pre-match in the Forest Bar in downtown Hoe Street, which still reeked of paint, despite it having been open two weeks.  Craft ale, say no more.  Earlier, I’d planned on having brunch in the Goose, but they were showing the rugby (of course they were).  I walked in, heard someone say loudly ‘lavvly’ (I think they meant ‘lovely’), had a p*** and walked out.  I hate rugby.

Clapton's #1 fan barks the team on.

At least we’d learnt one lesson from last time – kick-off is 2:30 and not 3pm.  And we entered at exactly 2:30…via another pint at the Dog and Duck, round the corner from the ground.  Another decent boozer, both spacious and affording a range of beer, it’s also difficult…nay impossible….to not come in afterwards too.  Mind, with plans to return to the Old Spotted Dog ground in Forest Gate, you'd better get to Wadham Lodge while you can.

The Main Stand in the rain.

The match was another high scoring romp, this time 4-0 to CCFC.  They were at it right from the start, and coulda been three up in 5 minutes.  Although they weren’t, class (!) told in the end and Hounslow reserves were well beaten.  ‘You look exhausted, keeper’ was my favourite jibe, though a poignant chant of ‘No human is illegal’ followed the minute’s silence to commemorate the 39 Vietnamese found dead in the back of a truck this week.  How desperate must they have been?

Match action.

More cheerfully, we all ruminated on how, at circa 50 years of age and 15 stones light in some cases, our football careers should not be considered over, given the rotundness of a couple of away players.  You’re a long time retired.

The Damage:
£5 ent
£2 prog
= £7

The Tunes:
Slave to the Rhythm (Grace Jones)
Gold Mother (James)
Con Todo El Mundo (Khruangbin)
Orbital 2 (Orbital)

Walter Tull commemorated.

That old Cov City tracky top came in handy...

Anti-fascist action!

Who knew where you buy goalposts from...?

A corner about to be swung in.

Programme cover

Barnsley 1-1 Swansea City, Saturday 19th October 2019

‘Daniel Stendel’s red and white army’

Welcome to ...

The King is Dead.  Long live the King.  Yes, life after Daniel was…alright actually.  Despite nothing but doom and gloom pre-match (and I wasn’t even talking), things on the pitch appeared vaguely rosy.  We changed formation, had a go, and somehow didn’t take the lead despite two chances on a plate for McGeehan – but at least he gets in those positions, ghosting in unseen.

Heading to Oakwell...spirits low after the Stendel debacle.

Yes, tactically, we looked much better.  Interim coach Murray (remember, they’re all interim) went with a back 3, which made sense if you’ve seen the gaps between our centre halves this season.  Perversely, this meant no place for Mads; good enough in a 2, but not in a 3.  Diaby was back for his debut (for me).  He’s a unit, dwarfing Cavare.  Sibbick was back there too, along with Halme.  This was great for Cavare, who could now stand on the halfway line with his hands on his hips, which he duly did – apart from when he launched his throws, deep into the box.  Why’ve we not been using this tactic sooner?  It wreaked carnage from the off, one in the 1^st minute reaching Cauley, whose volley was superbly saved. 

The teams meet and greet.

Another welcome addition, and one of whom I’m expecting (hoping?) better things of this season…it was the return of Kenny Dougall to defensive-mid.  Now, I was very critical last season, as he disappeared in games we needed him (Charlton away) and had nowt to do when we didn’t (crushing inferior opposition at home).  But in a higher division, where we’ll be under the cosh a fair bit, a half decent defensive midfielder is priceless.  And he came in like he’d never been away, breaking down move after move from the Swans.

The 1st of the season's minute's silence / applause.

Indeed, we perhaps should have had this game won before Swansea started venturing towards our goal.  McGeehan cleared the bar from 6 yards on the rebound from a save from Cauley; then, in the second half, an intelligent header across goal from Chaplin had Mowatt swinging and missing before McGeehan repeated his earlier feat and cleared the bar again from close in.  It was left to Mowatt to show how it should be done, later equalising in cool fashion, side-footing it home having seen the gap to his bottom left.  You can’t teach composure.

Looking towards the away end.

By now Swansea were leading.  And if our earlier failures were predictable, so was Swansea taking the lead.  The writing had been on the wall in a mad 5 minute spell, where Collins saved a point-blank header, a one-on-one…before saving a close range blast that rebounded up in the air for their forward to react before our defence (I mentioned the inevitability of it all.)  The Oakwell faithful burst into a spontaneous round of applause, which must have surprised Swansea somewhat, but it turned out to be in tribute to the fan who died of a heart attack at the Derby match.  Swansea just happened to score in that very minute.  Good timing, lads.  

The East Stand v Swansea.

Before then, the Swans had barely shown any attacking premise.  Were we looking more solid cos we were organised?  Or cos Swansea simply lacked the offensive nouse of Brentford and Dirty Leeds, who ripped us apart at will? Problies a bit of both, but I doubt Swansea will be anywhere near the play-off position they currently hold by season’s end.  Will we finish the bottom place we now currently occupy?

Very probably. 

Onwards and…downwards!

*** Collins.  I know.  We were the better team and the keeper gets MOTM, but he pulled off 3 amazing saves and never put a foot wrong.  Sponsors’ MOTM. 
** Dougall.  Broke down so many opposition moves.
* Mowatt.  Kept probing and rescued a point.

Londontykes' MOTM: TBA

The Ponty v Swansea (cheers Slacki!)

Despatches: 

I had a party to go to in the north-east on Saturday nite, so I took Friday off, trained it up and hired a car.  How much?  Tickets bought Tuesday, £140 return on the train…while 3 days car hire was about £80 (plus £40 petrol).  Think of the places I could go for £140 return from London….
Oh, and welcome back Diaby (and his chant, the words of which still escaped me).  And special mention to Nozzer who called for Chaplin to be dragged off a minute before he set up the equaliser.

Drink du jour: Coca-Cola is it.

Away: 734  

The Damage:
£3 prog
£5 season review 2018-19
= £8

The Tunes:
BBC 6Music (Huey Morgan, Gilles Petersen, Craig Charles)

Ponty panorama

The teams line up in front of the Main Stand.

The Main Stand.

My train from Durham.  As I like it.  (It didn't last.)

Welcome to the (real) north!

Clapton CFC 5-2 Stonewall, Saturday 12th October 2019

Clapton CFC 5-2 Stonewall, Middlesex County Football League Premier Division, att. 909 

Welcome to ....

It’s ‘Non-League Day’ and a chance for those of us who face the misery of watching our own league teams every week to have fun.  And what better example of ‘fun’ than watching Clapton CFC, instead of Arsenal or Barnsley, as is usual in my group of friends.  Indeed, upon seeing pics from the game, another Gooner commented on how it looked nothing like the Emirates – people were SMILING.  I even chatted amiably with a Newcastle fan who’d brought his neighbour’s dog along, and a couple of Dirty Leeds in the pub afterwards.  WTF???

Not the dog I was on about.  Another dog.

I must admit, I hadn’t quite realised there’d be such numbers and it was packed behind the main goal (though even Clapton have a splinter ultra group at the other end - the splitters?)  I was looking forward to seeing the teams come out – my mates’ kids were mascots.  So I missed that, not realising it was a 2:30pm kick-off and spending far too long in a new brew-pub in Walthamstow with my posse.  Oh well.  (Apparently, the kids prefer Clapton to Arsenal, as they get to shake hands with the players at full-time.)

The splitters at the far end.

We arrived in time to see Stonewall go two up, the second being a stunning scissor-kick volley which I couldn’t see from the far end.  Grrrrrr.  However, in an amazing game befitting the incredible crowd, Clapton fought back to win 5-2.  A packed home end made for a buzzing atmosphere.  And where else do you get the away team serenaded at full-time…their players taking the applause as ‘Stonewall we love you’ rang out. 

Clapton celebrate a goal.

Since last season, CCFC have moved to another stadium within the Wadham Lodge sports complex, to Walthamstow Town’s abode, complete with seated (covered) main stand, and terracing and roofs at either end.  Coming to see Clapton CFC is something else.  Indeed, Maria, Barnsley born and bred, wants her man Dave, Barnsley season-ticket holder, to change allegiances.  One thing we all agreed: it was better than watching Barnsley.  And Arsenal.  And I was able to get horrifically drunk afterwards, fall asleep in Vauxhall Bus Station on the way home and at some point lose my bag, with camera.  I crawled in at 4am.  I wouldn’t have swapped it for anything.  

The Damage:

£3 ent

£2 prog

= £5

The Tunes:

Psychocandy (The Jesus and Mary Chain)

And The Waltz Goes On (Andre Richlieu)

The start of my day...the new brew pub.

The end of my day...waking up drunk in Vauxhall bus station.

Arsenal 1-0 Bournemouth, Sunday 6th October 2019

Arsenal 1-0 Bournemouth, Premiership, att. 60,326 (allegedly)

Welcome to ...

Same as every other Arsenal match I've seen, comfortable home win, comfortable seats, no atmosphere.  Still, good to hang out with a few mates, as well as see an old face over from Oz.  Otherwise ....

The Damage:
free ent (cheers Geoff!)

Luiz makes the difference.  No, really.

The players mob the goalscorer.

Home time!

Time flies when...

Wenger Emery Out!

Match action in front of a packed Emirates (60,326!)

Arsenal 4-0 Standard Liege, Thursday 3rd October 2019

Arsenal 4-0 Standard Liege, Europa League, official att. 58,725 (Emirates Stadium)

Welcome to ...

At the risk of repeating a Smiths’ lyric…stop me if you think you’ve heard this one before.  Arsenal roll over inferior opposition in front of a two-thirds full stadium (while announcing it’s virtually capacity) while playing delightful footie, with a midgety skilful midfielder running the show.  Add in the away fans providing the atmosphere and you have the complete Emirates experience.  Boxes ticked all round.  The average fan would be well chuffed.  But this is Arsenal, where they expect to win trophies, so the usual scintillating home victory is never enough while they continue to roll over away.  However, this was their RESERVE side, and two of my Arsenal buddies both claimed, independently, that the reserve side is better than the 1^st team!  Certainly, there seemed more bottle, more effort, a greater will to win.  

Standard's corner.

I should sound more grateful.  A mate was over from Oz, and another mate had lent me his (son’s) season ticket.  Great view, comfy chair, soulless atmosphere.  Modern football at its finest.  But most important, a drink with my mates, some ‘bantz’ with an Aussie 15 year old…and a good time by all.  (He predicted the score correctly, btw.)  And I did enjoy (Real Madrid loanee) Ceballos orchestrating the game from deep midfield, while the average Arse could get excited about 18 year old Martinelli’s lively performance up front, including 2 goals.  Not bad for a winger playing out of position.  Standard were never at the races.  3-0 down after 23 minutes.  ‘Are you Tottenham in disguise?’ came the cry from….oooh, I dunno….3 dozen at our end.  Good effort lads.

Another week, another home win.  Every game is the same when I come here…

A packed-out Emirates.

The Damage:

€0 ent (cheers Geoff!)
= €0

The Tunes:
Psychocandy (The Jesus and Mary Chain)
La Radiolina (Manu Chao)
Endtroducing (DJ Shadow)

Let's not pussyfoot about...

The teams line up, Europa League banner ready.

Match action at the North Bank end.

Standard corner.