I’d left Sarah in the car, before we pootled into town for a lively drink in The Stanley (how apt!). The town had plenty of pubs and the pubs had plenty of Barnsley in them. By 2, it was time to leave, as Sarah had more sense than to come and watch BFC – she was off to the cinema. I parked up in a backstreet near the stadium and squeezed into The Crown, a hostelry adjacent to the (Crown) Ground. It was rammed, but I didn’t care, it was warm. But all good things must come to an end and I was determined to get in vaguely early (ie, before kick-off) and bag a prime spot on the terrace. Come on you Reds!
Course, being as long ago as 10 minutes since I last paid a visit, I needed the loo. And what an experience the Accy loos are. 2 portacabins of 3 urinals and 2 toilets (and one toilet each for the ladies) for a terrace holding about 1500. You know you’re short of toilets when Reds fans are p***ing in the sinks BEFORE kick-off. Took me back to Blundell Park and Grimsby, one year, where fans couldn’t wait to get at the troughs and p***ed against the walls, floors swilling in it. Anyway, it wasn’t as bad as that, but it was bad. Almost as bad as the ref….
Seamless. What a link. Nobody noticed that one. The ref. Every week I find myself defending the ref against one-eyed Reds bias, but, without any other Londontyke to form a contrary opinion against, I found myself increasingly frustrated by this person in black. I have since looked at the BBC summary and it claims ’11-16’ on fouls. If that means they had 16 free kicks to our 11, I am convinced I watched a different game. Did I miscount 9 consecutive free kicks given to Accy, 1st half? EVERY SINGLE TIME a home player went to ground, it was a free kick. And that was her good half. (Did I mention the ref was female? Such a shame, as that encourages the usual comments, but proof even misogynists have a sense of humour as ‘we’re getting fined in the morning’ broke out amongst the away support, a reference to the £30k we’ve already been done for this season.)
Second half, and I write this 2 days later, these are the ‘decisions’ I remember: an Accy shot is blocked. Home fans appeal for a penalty for handball. It’s given. (I have yet to see a replay and the ball is at the other end, but I’m not sure what the defender – Cadden – could do about it.) The other ‘decisions’ are at our end. Cadden beats his man in the box and is shoved over. Ref gives a corner. (This is at 0-1.) It is either a penalty or a goalkick, but she does what refs do and consider a corner a ‘sop’ to both sets of fans.
Devante Cole is breaking into the box. At least he would be, were he not having a defender having hold of him with BOTH paws. Their player has hold of him for about 8 yards as he gets into the box before going down. Free kick at worst, penalty at best. And it’s on the linesman’s side. Not given. Later, Phillips turns the defender and if he could stay on his feet he’d be virtually clean through. But the linesman has flagged for a foul as the defender falls over Phillips leg. Listen, the defender GAMBLED and lost. He tried to get around Phillips and FAILED. I am verging on apoplectic now, with time running out. Still, the main official does more to get a decent atmosphere going than anyone in red, as injury time and beyond is consumed by an entire end and a half chanting ‘YOU’RE NOT FIT TO REFEREE’. I didn’t know what to think as I watched her trying to keep a brave face on as she left the pitch with her accomplices. (Misogynistic or not, you could tell she was trying to keep a hold on her emotions.) Either way, I’d like to think the chant erred on the side of the ref’s skillset rather than gender.
I know, I know. Cherry-picking a handful of decisions to prove a point. It’s what fans do, innit? But I was (internally) complaining during the first half, when we were winning, whilst arch refereeing critic Jonesy (in Corsica, watching on iplayer) felt she had a decent 45. I s’pose there’s nowt to moan about when you’re one up and cruising to an 8th consecutive victory, as we were. The Super Reds looked streets ahead of a Stanley side not much above the relegation zone. Kane pulled the strings in midfield and neat passes here and there pulled the home side all over the place. Defensively, they never got near our box, and we deservedly went ahead early as Norwood flicked in a header. That’s as many as 4 goals he’s scored this season. Almost worth the repeated the bursts from the yoof of ‘James Norwood’s on my mind and he’s Barnsley’s number 9’.
The ref’s equaliser, round about the hour mark, still provided plenty of time for us to go on to victory, but in truth, we looked winded. Still, great pen, buried hard to Collins’ right, while he dove left. Kane-esque (in the days before he blazed them high and cost England the chance of a World Cup semi, ho ho). Thereafter, the officials prevented our best moves (see earlier) save for Phillips running clean through. Problem was, he was running clean through treacle, and as defenders closed in, he sidefooted his effort straight at the keeper. Not quite the ‘couldn’t hit a barndoor’ I’ve been used to, but most definitely not the ‘5 goals in 6’ I’ve not. 2 points dropped. Cheers, ref.
Onwards and upwards!
*** Kane. Lovely little passes, running midfield.
** Andersen. Another clean sheet (ish). Best defender in this league?
* Norwood. Credit where it’s due. Held it up, brought players in, scored. Can’t last the full 90, but neither would I with that bod.
Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Kane 2. Andersen 3. Kitching
Despatches:
The atmosphere. I had a great view, back of the terrace, right behind the goal. I was also just to the left of ‘da yoof’ and fair play, they make some noise. But…and I’ve been to games where I thought I was imagining this….what is it with their attitude towards joining in chants that others start? I am convinced that they rarely join in with anything they don’t start themselves. And they only have 2 chants, the one proclaiming James Norwood to be ‘always on my mind’ (he’s often on my mind too, pretty much every time Adeboyejo scores ANOTHER goal for Burton). Then there’s this:
‘We’ve got super Michael Duffy
He knows exactly what we need
Mads at the back
Devante in attack
We’re gonna win the f***ing league’
It’s a great chant. Presumably stolen from some Premiership team or other, with a Reds themed verse supplanted (or am I being unfair on their collective braincells?) My only issue is this: we are not going to win the league with Devante Cole (or James Norwood, or both) in attack. Just saying.
I could also kill their idea of fashion too. At one point, I was stood within 2 metres of 8 pairs of Adidas (it may have been more, as it became crowded). Listen, kids, I wear Adidas. Go and get your own brand. Aren’t Sketchers for the kids? Who knows?
Oh, and I nearly forgot….Cadden broke clean through 2nd half, and drove it at the keeper. It’s ok tho, we’re one up and absolutely CRUISING. (We finish at 20-4 on shots.) What can go wrong? Let’s not blame the ref….
Drink du jour: Beavertown Neck Oil, at both The Stanley and The Crown.
Away: c.2000
Today’s take home: Happy Xmas!
The Damage:
£20 ent
£3 programme
The Tunes:
BBC 6Music
BBC5Live
Lotta Sea Lice (Courtney Barnett and Kurt Vile)
London Conversations (The Best of St. Etienne)
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