We were 2 down inside 20 minutes, and that was even with the help of the officials somehow disallowing a soft 20 yarder for offside. Kilip was in goal. He couldn’t get a start last season in front of Roberts, whose game went to pieces, and today he’s in ahead of a keeper we’ve reputedly paid 200k for...with a Chelsea reserve reserve reserve due in to rescue us from both. If that 200k Walsall keeper is no better than Kilip, someone needs their heads examining with regards to our transfer policy.
Then Mansfield DO score a 20 odd yarder. Roberts (different one) heads a corner clear, but not clear enough as it’s half volleyed into the far top corner. We used to have a player who could do that once. He was called Conor Hourihane. Class finish, but no pressure on the player. Minutes later it’s 2, as we’re roasted down our left and the cross is flicked in at the near post. Shoddy defensive work, but we can’t say the Stags didn’t deserve it. Could we beat our opening day 0-4 at home to Wigan the other year? Dunno, but we can try!
I message the first ‘Clarke Out’ of the season. I can’t help but think someone would’ve beaten me to it. We are looking WOEFUL. The midfield can’t get hold of the ball while punts to our two big centre forwards keep coming back with interest from their ONE giant centre half, the veteran Aden Flint, who once went for 7 mill, let it be said. Our defence looks like it’s never met each other. Maybe it hasn’t? But what’s this? Clarke is calling it early. He’s sending on Super Jonny Russell to the rescue, the only known footballer slower than Herbie Kane. Debutant Gent gets hauled, but it could’ve been any of them.
And it WORKS. The midfield get hold of the ball. Russell in particular looks unfazed in possession and finds his own men, which is a novelty. I still elect to visit the gentlemen’s, as we’re not scoring otherwise, and I gladly claim my assist as the crowd goes wild as I get my knob out. I could get used to this. Oh, we’ve scored. OK. Returning to the concourse, I spend a full minute waiting to see a replay but it looks like Sky Sports News and they’re talking about anything else. Sorry, this game is live on telly and the club can’t be arsed to put it on the little screens underneath the stand? So I still haven’t seen it. The lady in the seat in front baits me for missing it. ‘I suppose you’re gonna tell me it was one of the best goals you’ve ever seen?’ ‘It was marginally better than Cosgrove’s against Wycombe last season.’ I hear it trickled in. Watters misses a simple headed chance to equalise. My limited vocabulary has run out of words to describe him.
Second half, it is all us, but without ever looking likely to score. Sure, Cosgrove blazes a half volley over from 8 yards. Marsh turns and shoots straight at the keeper from 6. Connell has a couple of potshots. Yet they probably have the best couple of chances, breaking free 3 on 2 and messing it up. Kilip makes an incredible diving save to the top corner (pretty much as some imbecile decides to leave, thereby half blocking my view) and if they’d cut the ball back, 2 on 1, they’d have had a tap-in.
We are bottom of the league.
Onwards and upwards!
*** Russell. I considered Luca, but Russell’s steady hand on deck curbed the potential rout and got us back into it.
** Connell. Strove forward, got shots off, scored (I’m told).
* Lofthouse. A promising cameo wide left from the sub, including a lovely cross to the near post that should’ve been buried. It wasn’t.
Official MOTM: Connell
Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Connell 2. Russell 3. Lofthouse
Despatches:
Well, here we are. A new Sky TV deal means we’re looking at being on Sky 20 times this season. 3 Satdy 3pm home games have already been switched...to Friday nite (Mansfield), Saturday nite (Stockport) and Monday evening (Rovrum). How much are teams making from this deal? How much is Sky making? Who is going to watch Barnsley v Mansfield Town when there are 5 other games on tonite, mostly from the Championship? This deal is insane. And if I still lived in that there London, I’d have probably rang Oakwell after the games were switched and demanded my money back. As an exile, I could only ever see about 16 home games a season, now it’d be 13. (It could yet get worse, with home games up against ‘international weekends’.) I’m tempted to suggest fans who can’t make re-arranged games should be refunded pro-rata...but I suspect by the 2nd half of the season you’d have 8,000 ST holders suddenly ‘not being able to make the new date’ (whenever it is). Part of the attraction of watching a match on telly is the atmosphere, the fans...but if you’re messing around with Satdy 3pm kick-offs, you’ll get smaller crowds and fewer people interested in watching cos all you can see is empty seats. This is not the Premiership. (That said, I can make any home game and can now spend those Satdy afternoons watching some non-league footie. But I still think it’s s***.)
The team? It was a welcome return for Roberts and Hourihane, the latter in particular getting a hero’s reception when he came on as sub...before being as average as anyone else. Roberts hasn’t changed. He can head a ball and...anyway, he can head a ball. And throw a ball too, and one effort led to Cosgrove flicking a harmless effort into the keeper.
Defensively, I’m not sure Roberts, MdG, Earl or O’Keefe could hold their heads high. O’Keefe challenged Phillips for anonymity. Gent was hauled after 26 minutes (26 minutes!) which at least showed Clarke’s willingness to do something (anything) though the fact we once again started 3-5-2 suggests it doesn’t matter who our manager is, the formation remains the same. That said, we did get the ball up the pitch quicker than last season (and it came back faster too). Kilip saved half of the shots he faced, and did catch a decent cross. He’d look alright at Guiseley.
I only fleetingly noticed Craig in midfield, the Spurs loanee who was a wizz at Doncaster Rovers last season. Whoopee doo. Up front...I kid you not...it was Cosgrove and Watters. Aren’t they the same player? Surely there is only room for one slow, lump of a player? I was annoyed, as the two together did less than Cosgrove on his own late last season. It didn’t help that we simply put the ball on Flint’s head. But last season, when we played a similar (Bolton) giant in the play-offs, we had Cosgrove peeling off and winning header after header. Was it the supply today? Watters was hauled after 62 minutes for a player whose future lies in non-league (Marsh). Says it all. But at least Marsh runs about and is keen, bless. With Jalo injured, it would be a dereliction of duty NOT to bring in a centre forward. What is it with centre forwards? We’re incapable of scouting em, and incapable of bringing them through our system. (Do we have a ‘system’?)
The subs came on...Lofthouse had early success before losing it (twice). Cotter made one 60 yard run that only Barry can...before he played the ball inside and 2 passes later we were back in our own half. Just like last season!
Still, it’s not all bad. Sarah’s brother and family have invited themselves round on Tuesday, so I guess I don’t have to go to Wigan, And hardly anyone now wears that horrific stars shirt from last season. The new shirt has 21 (slightly more subtle) stars on it. I think Oakwell Historian said it was to reflect our record unbeaten run or summink. But you could think of any number and make it mean SOMETHING to Barnsley FC. Try it. I’m going 3767. (Number of hairs on Herbie Kane’s head x number of shots Adam Phillips has hit into the crowd + number of times Bruce Dire was offside. (42 * 67 + 953)
Drink du jour: Hoop IPA (Full Circle Brew Co.) Not a strong taste, but I liked it. Reedy felt it was a bit too ‘Planet Pale’ therefore a little disappointing.
Away: 3,296 Tremendous. Isn’t that more than they get for home games? (Only joking.) The cheeky blighters responded to home fans chanting in the second half with a round of ‘we forgot that you were here’….which was ironic, cos up till I heard them sing that, I’d forgotten they were there. (Crowd: 14,817).
The Damage:
c.£8 petrol
£55 home shirt (WITHOUT sponsor).
= £63
ps, I was at Oakwell a few hours before kick-off and overheard a member of the shop staff ask what they should say to customers who’re wondering when shirts in the sizes currently unavailable will appear. Let’s just say they have no idea when Jonesy will get a shirt that fits him.
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