Dearne and District 1-2 Wombwell Town, Saturday 10th August

Dearne and District 1-2 Wombwell Town, Northern Counties East League Division 1, att. 462

One advantage of the new EFL Sky deal and its’ ridiculous timetabling of fixtures (Barnsley v Mansfield Town on a Friday night, anyone?) is that the Satdy is free for another game. Molly tells me it’s the Dearne Derby, Dearne and District (catchy!) versus Wombwell Town in Division 1 of the Northern Counties East, the 10th tier. ‘There could be trouble’ he warns. I’m in. The chance of watching some football break out amongst the fighting appeals to me, though, not knowing the streets or the ground, I’m hoping Moll will drive and risk his car, not mine.

Nozzer is in too, and we pick up Molly on the way. He’s wise enough not to offer his car, as despite him being local, he doesn’t know the area. Or he does. One of the two. Suffice to say it’s within distance of Manvers, where local racist thugs attempted to burn a hotel down which was housing asylum-seekers. Charming. (We rubber-neck past it on the way back. The place is empty, several windows boarded up.)

The ground is in Goldthorpe. Or Bolton-Upon-Dearne. There doesn’t seem to be a border, hence ‘Dearne and District’. They club don’t want to isolate either, or that’s my theory. It’s a top of the table clash too. Wombwell are three wins from three, D&D two wins and a draw. Newly promoted, the home side start as underdogs. No wonder, when Wombwell’s star striker is rumoured to be on hundreds of pounds a week to play for them.

There’s a large car park behind the goal. If we were tight(er), we could watch the game from here for free, but we’re better than that. A large social club (and cricket club) is next door, so we get the beers in, and return to the ground, paying a fiver at the kiosk at the entrance. Most of the crowd have turned left, where there’s a couple of small stands and refreshment stalls at the other end. Behind this goal, there’s flat standing, and a roped off area which we ignore. We’re not the only ones. It would be nice to lie in the sun, on the grass banking on the far side, while watching a local derby.

Behind the far goal is a train line. I spend the second half desperately trying to take a picture of a passing train, but it’s so bright I can’t see my phone’s screen and it keeps switching to ‘selfie’ mode. I return with a dozen photos of different parts of my face. By half-time, it’s 2-1 to the visitors. That centre forward is a big lump, but he never loses the ball.

We are set for a humdinger of a second half, but the game fizzles out, save for an odd incident near the end as the home keeper runs out of his area like a madman and cleans out an opponent as he shoots wide. Both lay prostrate for an age as we discuss whether it’s a yellow or red. Yellow for me. The shot was taken, so no denial of a goalscoring opportunity. Eventually, the ref agrees, but the keeper’s ignominy isn’t spared as he’s carried off, injured. The players squaring up was the closest we got to a fight all day.

The Damage:
£5 ent (paid for by Nozzer)
= £0 !