Scarborough Athletic 3-0 Hereford United, Saturday 6th January 2024

Scarborough Athletic 3-0 Hereford United, National League North, Flamingo Land Stadium, att. 1,575

It’s Satdy and I’m due to travel back home to the Pennines from County Durham…what game to choose on the way? I ask Moll if he wants to come out and play. I know he mentioned Scarborough the other week. Or would he fancy Knaresbrough? Or Harrogate Railway, or Tadcaster? Maybe Pickering? Yes, he wants to come out and Scarborough it is. He admits to having them as a sort of 2nd team since they reformed. I’ve a soft spot for them too, since the Wolves fan fell through the roof at the original Scarborough’s first ever league game. Ahhh, great days.

Since then, they’ve been relegated out of the league, lost their stadium (the McCain Stadium AKA ‘Theatre of Chips’), been re-formed as a fan-owned club in 2007 and for their first 10 years been forced to play down the coast at Bridlington. Moll’s seen em there, but the only outfit I’ve seen in Brid is Pulp. I did once see a friendly at Scarboro though, once. I’d convinced my parents we should take my grandparents to the seaside for the day...so my dad and I could sneak off to the football and get attacked by wasps. (I don’t remember anything else, save the one-all draw.)

However, things are very much looking up for Scarborough, if the number of woolly ‘Seadogs’ bobblehats are anything to go by. They’re everywhere. The club, forced to re-start at the 10th tier Northern Counties East League, would stand 3rd in the National League North, 4 divisions higher, with victory today. The buzz is tangible.

The stadium is busy, 1,500 or so packing into 3 sides. The 4th, a small stand backing onto the leisure centre is sparingly used by the 80 or so Hereford fans who’ve made the long journey. (Why do we always presume fans have travelled from the town of the side they support? I’ve never lived in Barnsley.) Anyway, a meagre following considering their 2,000+ home crowds, and making a mockery of the decision to segregate the ground today.

To their right is a small, steep stand which houses the club’s facilities. Pre-match, I got there early, worried it might sell out. My intention was to buy 2 tickets, and go to the pub to watch the big derby, Sunderland v Newcastle in the FA Cup. My journey to the ground taught me the pubs were actually a hell of long walk, whatever a crow may fly. Hills an’ all. So when the man in suit and tie offered me Mackems v Mags in their fanzone, I couldn’t resist (though I’d have to speak to the stewards, to let Molly in.) Sunderland disappointed, that’s all I’ll say.

Moll arrived and we took a gander inside the stadium, grabbing a programme from the hut in the corner. Behind the goal was a small covered terrace...4 steps?...so with pie and peas gathered, I forced Moll into the stand by the side of the pitch. Bit more height, this stand has terracing either side of some seats. A courteous gentlemen shifted aside to let Moll stand next to his best mate (well, me.)

On paper, this was a tough game. Hereford came unbeaten in 6, 5 wins. They were destroyed. Harry Green opened the scoring with a beautiful lob 25 mins in and Hereford’s problems were compounded with a sending off 5 mins before half time. A Scarboro player rolled around clutching his face, the ref saw nought, had a word with the linesman...who’d seen nowt…so, based on the law of probabilities, decided the Hereford player probably had done something naughty (naughty, very naughty). There was little protest.

Second half, Scarborough actually looked less fluent against 10 men and 1 or 2 counter attacks looked dangerous. Then that man Harry Green popped up again, curling a free kick into the far top corner from the apex of the penalty area. With time running out, and the ref having had a wager on Green getting a hattrick, a tumble in the box brought a penalty and Green had his threesome, leaving the fans dreaming of ‘a team of Harry Greens’. Is he any good in goal, I wonder? He looks an excellent prospect, but Boro’s chances this season rely on him. He’ll be gone by February.

The Damage:
£15 ent
£3 prog
£5.50 Birra Moretti
£4.50 Steak pie and peas
= £28

Horden CW 0-0 Thornaby, Friday 5th January 2024

Horden CW 0-0 Thornaby, Northern League Division 2, Welfare Park, att. 196

I’m up in the north-east on business (my business) and have big plans…Queens Park are back playing at Hampden Park (THE Hampden Park) and after finishing my business, I could drive up to Glasgow, watch the game, stay the night, then catch another game on the way back home to West Yorkshire on the Satdy...Ayr United? However, my business takes longer than business should but I’ve prepared well by not booking owt. It’s a healthy Plan B too, Northern League newcomers FC Hartlepool are at home and it’s one of two grounds I’ve never visited. So that’s off – waterlogged.

I’m now in two minds, as I’ve half an hour to scoff some scran and decide whether I really want to go out. I’m tired, it’s cold. I look at the other fixtures and decided I’d kick myself if I didn’t go out. I plump for Horden. I really like their ground. Bordered on one side by old miners’ terraces (the ‘numbered streets…Eighth Street, Seventh Street, etc), the adjacent rest of the park features cricket pitch, ornamental grounds and a stunning sculpture of a miner, his heart ripped, as befits many a north-east community bereft since the demise of the coal industry (and Billy Elliott was filmed just down the road in Easington).

Since I was here last
https://geordiealsgroundhopperscrapbook.blogspot.com/2022/01/horden-cw-2-2-billingham-synthonia.html
there’s been further demise...but also rejuvenation. Their magnificent stand (these things are relative; what I mean is it was old, tall, dark and unlike anything built today) has been taken down. The metal was corroding. Talking to the chairman, it could’ve hung on for another couple of years, but the opportunity to fund most of the work with grants enabled Horden to take down the seats and roof, leave the changing rooms below as they were, and put a brand new roof on. Seating is now supplied by one of those stands you get off the back of a lorry (literally); 100 seats, but placed so far from the pitch that the view is quite useless with folk standing in front, by the perimeter of the pitch.

However, the old terracing remains, four or so steep steps behind the goal which bend around a quarter of the pitch on either side. I move here just before half-time and before long find conversation with two former Northern League stalwarts, and hence my introduction to the chairman when he comes round. Oh, and that work...stand taken down, new roof, new stand...£160,000. With crowds generally barely above 3 figures, they’d never have been able to afford the work without help.

Sadly, there’s no social club. With the demise of the old Horden CW, (the current side forming in 2017), the social club was turned into a recording studio. Now the football has returned, the committee cast envious glances as a they await the tenancy to end before (hopefully) re-opening it and being able to make some funds.

This weekend, more than half the Northern League games are being played on Friday nite, for one reason – tomorrow is the derby, Sunderland v Newcastle in the FA Cup. Upon arrival at the turnstile, I got chatting and said coming to Horden was the highlight of my Friday evening. He said he’d come to try and take his mind off the game tomorrow. (I suspect they’re all Mackems round here.) I take a pew on my lonesome, to the right of the goal. Within three minutes I have touched the matchball (which I’ve never done at a professional game). Well, someone has to collect the ball from the down the bank behind the goal. And 10 mins in the home physio is bantering with me ‘a pen all day, that’, after tending to his centre forward, who’s fallen awkwardly as him and the defender crash together, shoulder to shoulder. ‘I’m sorry, I think the ref got it spot on.’

This was during an early emphatic phase of play from the home side, 5th in the table and looking to make a more formal entrance into the promotion race. It doesn’t last. Midtable Thornaby weather the storm, and, aside from a goalline clearance, aren’t really troubled. I don’t remember either goalkeeper making a save that wasn’t a soft 20 yarder straight at them. The chairman thanks me for coming and hopes I’ll return. I’d love to. Social club or not, old stand or not, Welfare Park remains one of my favourite Northern League grounds!

The Damage:
£5 ent
= £5

BFC 1-1 Wigan Athletic, Monday 1st January 2024

‘Watters is like that bridge.’ ‘What? Huge, pointless and barely moves?’*

*we’d ascertained the new bridge does, indeed, move.

With most of the Londontykes otherwise pre-occupied (work tomorrow!) I had the honour of seeing in the New Year with the Galvins in Wetherspoons. Obviously great company, but not so great that I can turn down the offer from Gally of joining the bigwigs in the exec. His compadres have all left him for sunnier climes and the poor chap is lonely, so Nozzer and I make our sacrifices and see what life’s like on the other side.

Well, for one, we have access to a bar in the Corner Stand. Poor choice of ale for the connoisseur (and me) so we settle on Madri. (Later on we find Loom pale ale is on offer in the bar in the main exec area. Boooo.) If you ask nicely, Gally might tell you the secret way through... And we have our own table, courtesy of ‘ABC Stone’ (Ben’s mum’s company). Lovely! And as many ‘free’ programmes as you can shake a stick at, and teamsheets handed out before kick-off. How DO you spell that French bloke’s name? Great soundproofing too, as no-one realises the teams are coming out. Why would you want to spoil a day at the football by hearing what’s going on?

Nozzer and I are last out, so we’re forced to sit as far away from the door as possible. I spend the last 20 minutes of the half desperate for a pee, yet unwilling to upseat everyone in our row, unlike everyone else where I sit in the East Stand. Those people have weaker bladders than me, and no manners to boot. (There was another door behind me, if only I’d looked. Doh!) Still, I was enjoying the padded seats (oh yes!) and the dubious quality of football.

Yes, HAPPY NEW YEAR Londontykes, and we start as we’ve been all season...disjointed, confused...and winning. With first half injury time upon us, McAtee wins the ball in midfield, sends Phillips away down the right and a delicious cross is slid home from close range by Cole. That’s it, dam broken, the goals will pile up second half. Thus far, every time we have the ball, there’s 11 Wigan players between us and their goal...or at least there is by the time we look up to play a forward pass.

In truth, we’d been jammy. For all our possession, Wigan should certainly have been 2 ahead. A Latic on the overlap is played in...and he fires over from 10 yards with the keeper to beat. (Later, in an IDENTICAL position, Kane would overhit a pass to Cadden with us 2 on 1. That would have put us two up.) A free header is put criminally wide. Second half, our jam continues. Jordan Williams falls over and GIFTS an unmissable chance to their centre forward, who puts it wide in the style of an Odejayi. The way he sidefooted it, surely he MEANT to hit that advertising hoarding?

Another header is cleared off the line, before our largest dollop of jam yet...they score direct from a corner and the ref blows for a non-existent foul on the keeper. (I have since seen a replay and the only contact I can see is our keeper trying to push away their player.) It reminds me of the time we got battered 7-1 at Man City and Colgan conceded direct from a corner just before half-time. That woulda made it six nil, but the ref disallowed it for the invisible. It was right in front of us and there wasn’t a Man City player within 2 yards of him. Like Colgan, Roberts has been completely bamboozled by a beautiful inswinger to the far post. (I have still only seen one goal in professional football from a corner, Darren Barnard v Gillingham one year...after the ref turned down a stonewall penalty to award a corner for them kicking us. I digress.)

Do we heed the warning? Well, Pep Collins has already made his move. Taking off our two most creative players before the hour (McAtee and Phillips, the latter making it plainly known he was baffled at being taken off). Then he takes Cole off after 72. We didn’t look in trouble, but Collins knows best, presumably proactively preventing the late Wigan onslaught. Or encouraging it. On came Styles, Watters and Jalo to have...errr...’quiet’ games. (Actually, I was told off for not pointing out Jalo got a couple of free kicks and one of theirs carded.) Then, with 3 mins of normal time remaining, the predictable happens. They win a free kick out right, take a short one and their player takes it past Jalo (the only player in the wall...if a ‘wall’ can contain only one player) and curls a SUPERB effort into the far top corner. Make no bones about it, it is a terrific finish and no more than Wigan deserve.

I await my bottle of champagne for correctly predicting the one-all in the competition in the exec. (Sadly, my crowd prediction was off, so I never did win, though I enjoyed teasing the lady asking me for a ‘guess at the capacity’. I (used to) know the capacity...isn’t it 23,009? I mean, before we built the Cornber Stand and South Yorkshire’s finest decreed we have to rope off various parts of the away end. Anyway, I think the poor lady learnt a new word. I know, I’m a tw*t. But it’s the lack of pedantry / standards that is the downfall of this country.)

We have 7 mins of injury time to create a chance, score a goal or kick the ball too long for our forwards. The draw takes us into a play-off position. I am as bamboozled as Roberts on that corner.

Onwards and upwards!

Another ‘guess a player’ week. Anybody and nobody.

*** Cole. The more I think about it...that 1st half, he had a header spectacularly saved (it really was spectacular; the keeper managed to dive despite it being straight at him). He also had a shot saved from a narrow angle – nobody up there for a return pass – and, of course, scored.
** Phillips. Floated around in dangerous positions, and set up the goal.
* McAtee. For THAT tackle.

Official MOTM: Connell. Never.

Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Cole 2. Phillips 3. McAtee

Despatches:
Afterwards, we headed to the main exec lounge. MOTM Connell couldn’t be with us to dissect why he was given MOTM as he needed some treatment for an injury. So they sent out Jalo, bless. At the risk of contradicting myself, I couldn’t hear a word he said...but he spoke great English. Perhaps the bloke with the mic needed to put it somewhere near Jalo’s mouth? So, a bit of a waste of time, save for noting what a big cheese Gally is, as folk queued to shake his hand.

Afterwards, the shirt Jalo wore when he signed his new contract was auctioned for charity (note: not his match shirt from today.) With bidding reaching 450 quid, I’ve never stood so still, for fear of bankrupting myself. Apparently the record is 600 nicker for a Mads shirt. Auction over, grown adults formed an orderly line to have their picture taken with a 17 year old.

The players? I said anyone could get the votes. At various points, Jordan, The Frenchman and McCart made some unbelievable blocks...but for reasons of all those other chances, there was a problem somewhere. O’Keefe and Cadden were quiet. I can’t blame Cole for not getting on the end of crosses if there weren’t any. Connell had his quietest game for a while, while Kane...what did he do? Jalo came on and lost the ball, Watters came on and never got near the ball while I never saw Styles. Standard. Wonderful substitutions, Collins.

Drink du jour: Leffe in Bramah’s, Madri and Bavaria (Alkohol Frei!) in the Exec. And I would have had a filter coffee at HT, if they’d bothered to re-fill the coffee pots. Apparently that complaint has already gone in. I had a tea instead, but the water wasn’t hot enough to stew the teabag. But they did have free blankets you could use, so it’s not all bad.

Away: c.1100. Somebody (no names, no packdrill) started wittering on to me as they announced it. I can’t be annoyed though, cos I got dinner at his house last week!

The Damage:
c.£8 petrol
£4 half time draw tickets
£11 Madri (x2)
= c.£23