Dunston 3-1 Bridlington Town, Saturday 12th August 2023

Dunston 3-1 Bridlington Town, Northern Premier League East, UTS Stadium, att. 211

Circumstance brings me today to the UTS Stadium, home of Dunston UTS. After all, where else can I make kick-off from being in IKEA Gateshead at twenty to three on a Satdy? To be fair, I needn’t have had meatballs for my lunch, I’d left my consultants in Washington at half-one. (NHS referral; I’m facing an operation on my spine.) But the other half, who I’ve dragged to the consultants to hear him out (cos she actually understands biology) has decided she’d like to pair this with a trip to IKEA and the adjacent Metro Centre. Even better, I can go to the football.

It wasn’t meant to be like this. I was hoping to be away for the week. It’s the DFB Pokal (cup) in Germany, I had it all lined up: Friday, Saarbrucken, Satdy, Elversberg, Sunday, RW Koblenz and Monday, Homburg. All within reasonable distance of each other, so not a great deal of travel needed. Combined with 3 other games in the Netherlands or Germany (Europa League/Conference games ensuring 7 games in 7 days). But you can’t pass up an appointment with a consultant. Rot-Weiss Koblenz will have to wait.

I had no time for the social club this time, straight in. No programmes (that I could see). Shame that, they had one last season. The vociferous yoof were also absent from the stand behind the dugouts. On holiday? So I took a pew near the back of the Main Stand and settled down. The can bar had done some business and Strongbow Dark was the order of the day. I’ll give it a miss.

Dunston were comfortably the better side in the first half hour, taking the lead on 10 minutes. A slick overlap, a cross, a header. Simple, but well worked. Further domination brought the inevitable goal at the other end. Why bother marking Brid’s tubby #10? He could barely move and could give Messi a walk for his money, all double teapots. ‘Too easy’ he criticised a younger teammate, as a Dunston player waltzed by him. He was certainly good at criticising others. Then, taking up a position just outside the box (cos he couldn’t be ar5ed to get IN the box?) he collects the ball, controls it, and drills it into the corner with power. Shows what I know.

That goal was thankfully just a blip for Dunston, who ran out 3-1 winners in the second half, clinching it in the last minute. A happy home crowd and I could now stroll back to the Metro Centre Car Park. What delights had my other half purchased?

The Damage:
£10 ent
= £10