After a pretty average pint of the local brew, I strolled up early to the ground. Who knew Robbie Williams grew up 5 minutes from the stadium in a local pub? (Probably everybody, I’m not a fan.) Sadly, it’s now closed, though the area seemed overly served, pun intended. After purchasing a couple of fanzines I hunted in vain for a programme. Turns out you can only buy one in the MASSIVE club shop. ‘Cashless’ it was, which was handy as all I had was...cash. I’d left the wallet at home and had had to borrow some money off my other half to see me through. The shop assistant gave a furtive glance around before taking my three quid, again leaving me with nothing to complain about.
A circumnavigation of the ground brought the realisation they’ve only gone and swapped the away end. After all my quality undercover work, I’d have been rumbled there and then at the turnstile. I’ve no idea why the ends have been swapped. Vale fans now have 4 stanchions between them and the pitch instead of 2. However, they do have a large carpark and a large concourse, perfect for not one, but two fanzones. Eat that, BFC!
Our end, by contrast, was a proper throwback, which is why I like Port Vale. Climbing up to our seats was like climbing the bank at the Ponty End in the old days. But while we’ve built a new stand, they’ve just slung seats onto terracing. A ground that held over 49,000 now has a seating capacity of 19,000 seats, apparently. (It’s never been tested). I marvelled at having a row to myself, when, as kick-off approached, the yoof came in. I was swamped in a mass of multi-coloured Adidas trainers, Burberry and those coats with goggles in their hoods. A father of one of them moved. As a ringleader next to him wondered what he’d done wrong, the guy just said aloud ‘You STINK!’ And it was true. Two seats along, where I was, a faint aroma of slightly off meat pervaded.
Mind, it’s amazing how you can ignore the bouquet when your team is winning and we’re ahead after 17, Phillips heading in a beautiful dink (Kane?) at the back post. A smoke bomb is carelessly dropped and a small child in front
All of which wasn’t to say the fans didn’t get behind the team. Keeper Roberts has a new chant (I know not which Premiership side we’ll have ripped off for that) while Phillips got a chant too (can't remember the words). 'He hits em high, he hits em wide, when he's in the team, we're on the slide.' Only joking. And of course McAtee (tee tee) who doubled, then trebled the lead. Devante strips the right back, runs into the box and pulls it back for McAtee (tee tee) to sidefoot home. Devante needs to be careful – at this rate he’ll lose his mantle as top scorer. That’s just after the half hour mark and the game is sealed 5 minutes later, as McAtee (tee tee) hits a 30 yarder into the roof of the net. Looks spectacular, but, although at the opposite end, you can see it’s straight down the middle of the goal and their keeper flaps brilliantly. There may have been a wobble in the flight, but, really, any professional goalkeeper should be saving those.
Game won (!) we send on Jon Russell for Luca at HT. The latter’s on a booking, and his powers are still returning. Far better to give him some rest for Posh in 3 days. Around the hour mark, Collins sends on Jalo and Cosgrove for McAtee (tee tee) and Cole. The game is won. Then he gives Lopata a runout after injury, for McCart. This match is in the bag. Only it’s now stretched, and whoever has the ball is 3 on 3. We’ve ignored one warning, Vale having a goal disallowed for offside. They then pick the ball up on the left, cut inside a couple of players and curl it inside the far post. Isn’t this how Stevenage scored last Satdy (Roberts saving the effort, tapped in on the rebound)? It looked a great goal, but if we’re showing people inside, shouldn’t centre halves be covering? Especially as we have 3 of them.
There’s 20 minutes left, and now Vale look like scoring everytime they have the ball. Roberts makes one incredible save...a ball is pulled back and Roberts sprints back along his line to meet the incoming header superbly. Concede that and I wouldn’t have fancied us. The dam is finally broken with 4 minutes of injury time left. By now, we’re consistently being skinned down the wings, and a cross is headed in from close range. We are spent, and Roberts makes one more save before the ref blows for fulltime. What started as a procession ended as The Alamo. A heroic stand? Or spineless collapse that could have been worse? Or delusional manager who thinks he’s Pep? I dunno, my jury’s out and I can’t quite bring myself to join in ‘EIEIEIO...Collins is our King!’ quite yet.
Onwards and upwards!
*** McAtee. Love his movement. Love his goals. Love his somersaults. My favourite Luton player.
** O’Keefe. Bear with me. First half, with us defending our end, nobody beat him and his passes were spot on.
* Jordan Williams. See above. Also covered the gaps inbetween McCart and The Frenchman, including a bizarre backpass with his head while sliding along the floor.
(I think whoever I vote for, bar Roberts, is based on the first half.)
Londontykes’ POTY: 1. McAtee 2= De Givigny / O'Keefe
Despatches:
Ahh, three nil up. ‘We want seven, we want seven’ (following our opening day 7 nil win), along with ‘can we play you every week?’ That seemed a long time ago as we hung on for our lives in that last 15 minutes or so. Roberts made a couple of great saves, but also flapped at a corner first half. Cadden was excellent defensively first half, but was isolated in the second as Vale’s winger gave him a torrid time. Connell, McCart and The Frenchman read the game to perfection in that opening 45, stepping out to intercept ball after ball. Indeed, we still hadn’t conceded when the former two were hauled; was Collins being TOO clever? Cole looked better (1st half) while Phillips...well, he scored. We’ll ignore the corner pulled back for him to blaze over the bar. Cosgrove came in for some abuse from those watching on telly, but I thought he did alright. He’s a far better player than Watters and wasn’t helped by the midfield being too lazy/worried/knackered to come up and join him. And Jalo was given longer than usual to run into trouble (but nobody criticises him...cos he’s only young!) Oh, and Kane played (1st half).
And the car was still there, no scuffs, no scrapes, wheels where I left them. Honestly, I don’t know what the fuss is about, going to Port Vale.
Drink du jour: Titanic Anytime IPA in the Bull’s Head. I spent half my time wondering why there were so many Man City shirts in there...eventually figured it was Port Vale’s away shirt!
Away: 1,290. Looked more.
The Damage:
£25 ent
£3 prog
£2 fanzine (x2)
c.£15 petrol
= c.£45
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