Glossop North End 1-1 Barnoldswick Town, Saturday 23rd March 2024

Glossop North End 1-1 Barnoldswick Town, North West Counties League Premier Division, Asgard Engineering Stadium (Surrey Street), att. 292

Can there be a finer journey in football than driving to Glossop? Heading across the Pennines, through Holmfirth, up to Holme Moss summit, before dipping down again past Woodhead and numerous reservoirs, and yet more hills, before arriving at Glossop, on the edge of the Derbyshire Peak District. You’d do well not to have an accident as you attempt to take in the breathtaking views. Then, at journey’s end, you arrive at Glossop North End, the smallest team (in terms of population) ever to grace England’s top flight, albeit in 1899-1900.

Surrey Street is up a hill. Of course it is. And although there’s fine views of hills at one side, an industrial estate bounds the other. The folk are very friendly though, and on entrance I’m given a free raffle ticket. 4th prize is ‘win the goals in pints’. ‘What if it’s nil nil?’ I ask. ‘Oh, it’ll still get drawn. Think of it as a booby prize.’ I like his style, and, for the most part, can’t help myself in hoping for a goalless draw today.

The social club is on the left as you enter. It’s sizable and offers slightly more than your usual Carling etc. I plump for a Distant Hills KeraIa IPA and very nice it is too. A menu of alcohol free beers suggests they have about 20 to choose from. Surely not. A Glossop North End embossed table football table doubles as pint holder while every normal table is taken.

Next door are the changing rooms, beside a couple of covered steps of terracing. To the left of that is the main stand, stretching from the byeline to nearly the halfway line. After that, nothing beyond a perimeter fence. For a good half hour I’m not even sure if people are allowed in this one and a half sides of the ground, before one brave soldier walks around from the Surrey Street side. Opposite the main stand, on the Surrey Street side, is a small terrace with cover either side of the halfway line. This is where most supporters are stood, hidden from the intermittent rain.

A lower midtable battle, the visitors are Barnoldswick, or ‘Barlick’ as they pronounce it. They’ve brought quite a few as well. Must be the journey. They’re pretty vocal, as are the North End ultras, around 15 pre-pubescent kids who start out at one end of the main stand and work their way around the ground. Occasionally, their leader will go on a run through the crowd and the rest will follow, though his acolytes aren’t quite on message after Glossop open the scoring after 66 minutes. On a cold, wet day, the sight of a young lad running topless down a terrace brings much mirth amongst the adults.

Barlick have been unlucky, North End throwing bodies in front of them in several goalmouth scrambles, but a late equaliser means the visitors don’t go home disappointed. Then it’s back to the clubhouse for the draw, and, like half time, there’s a cover band offering us the likes of James and Oasis. I really want to win the draw, a North End shirt, but the club is packed – well done Glossop – and I want to make hay while it’s daylight. Those views won’t be the same in the dark. Beautiful.

The Damage:
£10 ent
£2 programme
£4 Distant Hills Kerala IPA
= £16