So it is, I spend the day cleaning the house before treating myself to tonite’s game. I considered Brandon (again) but what swings it is my hunger. I can help myself at the Toby Carvery in Wolvsiton, down the road from Thornaby, pre-match. No hassle, no waiting, just get in and gorge. Perfect. However, I must have left my wallet at home, so with a loose 18 quid in the car, I’m forced to drink tap water so I can afford to get in at Thornaby.
The satnav tells me I’m a mere 15 minutes drive from Teesdale Park, one of those Northern League grounds I’ve no idea how to find, though actually it’s just off the A19. For a well populated area, Thornaby have poor crowds. I suppose all Northern League clubs do. But they’re not helped by a ground that’s 400 metres down a mudtrack through an ill-lit wood. I’m not sure I’d fancy it without a car, and fortunately there’s plenty of parking. Just don’t be the mug who arrives late and tries to park too close, unless you fancy reversing 100 metres back.
Rumours of Thornaby’s demise appear greatly exaggerated. Or, at least, their clubhouse, a victim of an arson attack last summer, is back in operation. Thank goodness for that. Teesside lost South Bank FC years ago due to repeated vandalism, though Thornaby’s isolated position lends itself to idiots wanting to destroy it for others.
This evening’s visitors are local rivals – of sorts – Billingham Synthonia, another side with ground issues. Forced to move out of the now demolished Central Park in 2017, they’ve spent the last couple of seasons at Stokesley Sports Club, which isn’t even in the same county (it’s across the border in North Yorkshire). The only club named after an agricultural fertiliser, their famous name somehow lives on, but needs a return to Billingham. Sadly, they just can’t get on enough to share with crosstown rivals Town.
Despite it being midweek, Thornaby register one of their highest crowds of the season, no doubt boosted by a few Synthonia fans. I see one bloke in what I presume to be one of Liverpool’s awful away shirts…green and white quarters...but it turns out to be a Synners shirt, and all the better for it. Entrance is a bargain six quid, but no programmes. Too much effort when crowds barely make three figures.
Ground entry is at the far corner, which is probably not what you want when you’ve walked 400 metres down a muddy lane. Oddly, the exit is far easier, as they open a gate at the near end. But the social club is at the far end, with one of the two car parks behind. As you enter, the social club is to the left, with a steep bank of seating behind the goal, open to the elements. Thornaby’s more youthful more vocal element, take their pews at the back.
The main stand is on the touchline to the right of the entrance. It’s maybe 20 metres long and is in the other half and is essentially a propped cover in front of the changing rooms. Before you reach it, there’s a wooden cover where you can picnic. At the far end there is a small cover stretching half of the pitch, resplendent with flags hanging off its back wall. A pity I’ve never seen anyone stand at this end in my two visits.
Most fans stand on the 4th side, either atop a grass bank or near the touchline. On the halfway line there’s a bus shelter for cover, with a scaffolding gantry for the TV camera (unused tonite). At one end are a couple of shelters above the banking, affording one of the best (highest) views in the Northern League, and it’s here I stand second half. An old bloke complains to me about how cold it is and I remark how it’s not cold enough to stop him having a can of cider. ‘Aye, but I’ve got mi’ gloves on.’ I can only admire anyone who’s dedication to drink extends to imbibing in the cold. Not that I can join him, with two quid in my pocket.
Despite there being only 3 points separating the two sides on the brink of the promotion race, Synners run out easy victors, 0-3. It’s 0-2 by the break and the game is as good as up 5 mins into the second half as the visitors spring the offside trap for a 3rd. I get home and can’t find my wallet. As panic sets in, I check the car. It was there all the time. Dammit and phew.
The Damage:
£6 ent
= £6
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