I’m up in the north-east this week, so of course I had a ham and pease pudding sandwich for my lunch yesterday. And today. And tomorrow. And Thursday. And I’ll bring the ingredients back for another one on Friday. If there’s one thing I miss about the north-east, it’s pease pudding. So I wasn’t all that hungry when I went for pre-match tapas with Nice Guy, Jim and Oakwell historian, pre-match. (You get a better class of companion going to Carlisle.)Ah, Carlisle. We’ve not played them since...was it 84-85? 85-86? Anyway, I was 11 and the turnstile operator let me climb over for free, so I’ve always had a soft spot for them. One-all it was (Ian Walsh). He was rubbish an’ all – me not rating our centre forwards is not a recent thing. Remarkably, we hadn’t beaten them away in the league since 1954. Was Gerry (R.I.P.) there, I wonder, like he was at QPR in 1950? And is there a team in the league who’re NOT a bogey team for us? Lincoln home Satdy, Carlisle away today. Just as remarkably, we’ve only played them 8 times at Brunton Park in 70 years, as we both yo-yo past each other in the league.
After a mini pub crawl of the Kings Head, a tapas bar and a pub with Apple in the title (I think), we found ourselves outside the ground to hear the teams come out. Who’s been sending Coach Collins my drivel? Kane and Cole are OUT. About time. Mind, so is McCart. Was Satdy’s defensive debacle all his fault? Dunno, but with Pines continued absence, MdG is back in the centre (Coach Collins DOES read my nonsense!) and Jordan is back in the 3. Even better, after criticism on Satdy, Jordan DOES concentrate on his own performance and rifles in a 25 yarder into the top corner to equalise.
And do the changes prevent defensive aberrations? Of course not. A ball bounces over our defence and they’re in for one nil. Indeed, until Jordan’s out-of-nowhere worldy, we were being shown up by the worst side in the division (again) as slick one touch moves left our defence grasping. Luckily, they’re bottom for a reason (and let the reason be love). Lady Luck never shines on teams at the bottom, and when Jordan trips their player at one-all, the ref refuses to point to the spot. That’ll teach that not so wily Cumbrian to try and stay on his feet. (Seriously, does a player have to hit the floor for a penalty?) At the other end McAtee hits the bar, but I can’t tell whether he ought to have done better, while Cosgrove stings the keeper’s paws with a mighty 25 yarder.
Second half, we run riot. Well, we score 2 and dominate, before carelessly conceding a late goal against the run of play to make life interesting. Cosgrove takes a throughball and intelligently lifts it over the keeper for McAtee to bundle home. (Lesser mortals may have shot and had it smothered.) Then a ball is swung to the backpost, and who’s this ghosting in? Why, it’s Zinedine Zidane. Ok, it’s not, it’s Jon Russell (in for Herbie) who’s been christened Zidane by one disbelieving wag. (‘Wag’ in the traditional sense of the word.) Done and dusted, home and hosed, all that’s left is to wonder how many we’ll score, when complacency hits, O’Keefe completely misses a ball down the line and they’re in for 2-3 and an ‘interesting’ last few minutes. Do we have enough? Well, we have enough to beat a side with 11 defeats in 12. But we need to improve.
Onwards and upwards!
*** Cosgrove. Led the line superbly, chased balls, held them up, found his teammates, cracking shot, set up a goal.
** McAtee. I wish he wasn’t as good as he is. We might have had a chance of buying him.
* Russell. I dunno, I’m plucking a name out of a hat now, but I liked how madly he celebrated his goal, knowing full well nobody rates him.
Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Cosgrove 2. McAtee 3. Connell
Despatches:
I forgot to say, no Roberts in goal either. Kilip fills me with zero confidence. Jordan scored his worldy, but shoulda had a penalty against him. O’Keefe and Cadden were fairly anonymous, our tactic mainly appearing to be to knock it around defence 3 or 4 times before hitting it long to Cosgrove. Difficult to give the back 3 marks when they concede 2 to Carlisle. Luca put it about, while Phillips looked OK, but let down Nice Guy who had a twoer (that’ll be two pounds, not 2 grand) on Adam to score and there being more than 5.5 goals in the match. Wise Guy Jim suggests bookies offering a special offer ‘more than 5.99 goals’. Why 5.5? It could be 5.01. 5.36 recurring. Anyway...Oh, and Cole and Marsh came on, half an hour and 20 minutes left respectively. I don’t know who did less.
The drinking continued in the pub over the road from Brunton Park. I think there were more Barnsley than Carlisle, as we caught the end of a Champions League tie, plucky little Arsenal beating Porto on pens. And in a rare example of my benevolence, I helped out a friend in need. I won’t say who, but someone many of us know was in a right drunken state and had no idea how to get to his hotel. So I took him to my hotel, made him a coffee, charged his phone enough for me to find his hotel...then got lost trying to find it. (I’m a follower not a leader). Thus, after walking round town, we got to the station and re-traced his route 10 hours earlier…to find it was round the corner from my abode. Oh, and did I say I had to be up at 5:15am, as I had people coming round early? (Needless to say, those f***ers didn’t turn up when they said they would).
Drink du jour: Gamma Ray, red wine, more red win. I blame the classy company!
Away: 883. Their away end is bizarre, the stand stretching beyond the touchline cos they were gonna move the pitch (but never did). Thus, you have Reds fans needlessly having poorer views while the ground can potentially hold nearly 14,000 more than came tonite. Still, it might be another 40 years before we play them again, so it was nice to visit.
The Damage:
£24 ent
£2 programme (a foldy out thing wot covered Carlisle v Reading too.)
c.£25 petrol
£40 hotel
= c.£91
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