Southport 2-0 Darlington, Tuesday 9th January 2024

Southport 2-0 Darlington, National League North, The Big Help Stadium (Haig Avenue), att. 647 (away: 78)

Now I’m living in the Pennines, a whole new world of groundhops has opened. This evening, my old local side Darlington are playing at Southport. A chance to see a former football league ground! It’s got me thinking. How many former league grounds (which are still being used) have I not been to? Southport. Well, I’ve mentioned them. Hereford. Must go there sometime. Do I have a vague recollection of Kidderminster Harriers being in the league? I presume they haven’t moved. Thereafter, I may have to do some research. Do Glossop North End still play where they played when they were in the league a century ago? I’ll find out.

Sadly, it’s midweek, so I’ll not be seeing the sea. Nor will I get a view of Gormley’s figures on the beach, partly cos Kev tells me they’re not in Southport (as I thought) but somewhere called Formby. Named after the 30s comedian, no doubt. Kev is a Darlo fan I know from our London days and when I make the offer to pick him up in Ashton, he promises he was going to the game anyway. Company might be good on a night like tonite.

Darlo are in dire straits, on to their 3rd manager of the season. However, an injury time winner in a crucial 6 pointer at fellow strugglers Kings Lynn on Satdy offers hope, however little. Southport are 5th off bottom and 4 go down. Darlo, 7 points behind, but a game in hand, are 3 places behind. The scene is set.

We follow the satnav, via a housing estate (Kev may have called a right turn a bit early) and on the edge of Southport we glimpse the floodlights and empty yellow seats of the main stand. Is that a pub? Indeed it is. I pull in. We can always walk to the ground from here. A pint later, I decide we are NOT walking from here. This is a match in the 6th tier of English football in front of a few hundred diehards. Surely I can find somewhere closer. I end up parked on a grassy roundabout in a street 100 yards from the ground. Perfect, though I wouldn’t have dreamed of parking there were there not other cars already intruding upon the green.

We’ve already got our tickets. Kev has done his homework. They’re 150 pence cheaper in advance, and they’re on his phone. Away fans have an open terrace behind the goal and part of the Main Stand. It’s far too cold to be sitting...and far too cold to be standing, come to think. The crowd is sparse, the greatest concentration under cover behind the home goal, huddling together like penguins. To our left, a few lone Spheniscidae (penguins) dot themselves around. Perhaps they don’t like company. Or warmth.

My left foot is numb by the game’s end, but the temperature gives me something to think about other than how appalling Darlo are this season. Tonite, outside of the craziest goalmouth scramble I’ve ever seen, Darlo create...nothing. Yet it’s still an improvement on their bottom 2 draw I saw the other month with Gloucester. Could be worse, I thought, I could be hungry. A fan near me returns to his spot after foraging for food. ‘They’ve only got coffee!’

Southport win it, with two goals from rebounds. Time stands still for the first, as a slow motion scuff arcs onto the bar with two defenders and the keeper staring. The ball returns to a startled forward (who should’ve bagged the 1st effort) and he bobbles it in with his studs. That’s about 20 minutes in. The killer, 5 mins or so from time, is a 35 yard free kick which rebounds straight into the path of the same forward. The same defenders were probably still staring, transfixed. We all agree Darlo can start planning for the Northern Premier League now. And I’m freezing. Can I go home now?

The Damage:
£13.50 ent
= £13.50

Do they even do programmes? I never saw one.