Barnsley 2-2 Bristol City, Saturday 25th October 2014

‘Salisbury’s last stand.’

Back of the East Stand

And so it is that we finally say goodbye to Mr Norris, soon to be moving to the Tuscany of the North, never to be seen again, save for saving us a table in the Old Number 7 on a fortnightly basis.  To celebrate, Selwood arrived early, The Captain missed the train entirely (delays at the Hampshire end) and Gerry didn’t feel well enough to travel.  A typical start, then.

The Old Number 7 was back to it’s busyish best, since half the crowd have decamped to Redfearns.  Thankfully, a set of old folk eventually left, giving us a table and me a chance to show young Aimee how to play shove ha’penny.  So much for shelling out all that cash for some computerised games gizmo, eh Paul?

The Ponty

The match?  Well, it was a champion game, especially the 2^nd half.  Bristol, 14 games unbeaten and comfortably top of the league were taken to task by the Reds, who coulda, woulda, shoulda won but for missed chances (us) and taken chances (them).  Harshly losing at half time (Winnall failing to mark his man, who’d drifted to the back post) we fought back strongly and could, in all seriousness, have scored 5 or 6.

2^nd half, Cole missed a simple header (cleared off the line, but, really, he oughtn’t to have given the player the chance), Williams dragged a great chance wide, Hourihane hit the post and Cole made a hash of a simple opportunity when Williams had the cleverness to spurn his chance of a shot and instead picked out Devante for the tap-in.  Even then, Hourihane’s greediness cost us victory, as with him in possession and us 3 on 1 in attack, he delayed and delayed, completely ignored Williams’ run outside him and instead blasted the ball against the defender before unleashing a mouthful at Williams for being offside (caused as this was by him overtaking Hourihane in expecting the pass).  Note to Conor: This is not the school team.  You might be the best player, but the other members of your team are paid professionals who can be expected to do their job if you give them chance.  It’s not all about YOU.

I can't decide if I like this kit or not.  Oh, hang on, yes I can....

We equalised through Winnall.  A smart finish, curled to the far corner, after the ball dropped kindly for him in the box.  (When fans bemoaned our ‘bad luck’ yesterday, no-one pointed out how luck played a part in both of our goals.)  Then we got a pen, Hourihane going down theatrically under little pressure at all.  He’s clever like that.  Those of you who think it was a stonewall pen were presumably not the ones who moaned last season when M’Voto gave away a pen when the bloke threw himself on the floor while he just stood there.  Hourihane despatched it low to the keeper’s left.

I then made the mistake of imagining we’d win this game.  I got to wondering when was the last time we’d played 4 matches in a row where the team who scored 1^st lost.  Yes, I’m dull like that.  Sadly, ‘twas not to be, as our run of ‘bad luck’ included a defender hitting the ball off our own man’s face (Winnall, again) for Wilbraham to lash home from 20 yards.  Some call it bad luck, I call it incompetence.  And still there was time for Hourihane to hit the post, as well as that 3 on1.

It's a beautiful day (cue music from U2)

*** I dunno.  I thought they were all much of a muchness, in a goodish way.  At different points, Cole, Hourihane and Williams all looked great going forward, while the centre halves never looked in trouble.  So I’ll go with Hourihane.  He seemed to be behind most of our attacks.

** Dudgeon.  Aside from a couple of punts into the stand, he had an excellent game on his return to left back.

* Crainie.  Bree is being rested (fear of burnout) and Brown is officially hapless, so Captain Fantastic was given a runout at right full back and did very well.

Despatches:
Great kit Bristol City brought with them, that legendary purple and lime green combo.  I can’t think why more teams don’t dress like this.  Maybe that’s why less than 500 bothered to come and support a big city team who’re top of the league.  Fickle.  Possibly the 1^st set of fans in a while to be outsung at Oakwell by our support.

Big city, big team, pathetic support.

Winnall got the sponsors’ MOTM.  He ran around a lot, failed to hold the ball up a lot and scored a decent goal – but had a hand (or face) in both of theirs.  He’s yet to convince me.  Cole again looked like he could do damage, but probably not as a right winger.  It seems we want to keep him beyond January, but, Danny, I don’t think Man City have sent him to Oakwell to be a winger.  Williams meantime, a natural winger, is played in midfield.  Anyway, I’m sure Danny knows best.

Drink du jour:  Aside from the wheat beers (‘Miami Weiss’ – see what they did there?) Andy and I shared a bottle of vodka.  Now, I ain’t admitting nuffink, but when you’re chucking up on a bus, you’ve officially had enough.  Still, it meant I didn’t fall asleep and miss my stop.  To anyone who was there, and the bus company, I am very very sorry.

We avoided a 10th defeat in 13 home games (cheers, Chronicle) and have stretched our lead over bottom team Scunthorpe to 4 points.  Onwards and upwards!

Salisbury and friend back in London.  (Note: This was my actual view.)

Peterborough United 2-1 Barnsley, Saturday 18th October 2014

‘Normal service has resumed’

Giant poppy at Kings X

Satdy matchday, missed trains, smashed vodka bottle, sleeping in on bus, lost game.  My shortest match report yet!

One of our oldies but goldies, P’boro away, was back.  Hampshire Tykes were out in force (if you can include Phil arriving later; an early bus journey was held up, the driver not being too happy about being called a c*** by a passenger.)  Even Tim had turned out, complete with 17 year old female.  Our worries re: Lucy were assuaged though: he was only pimping for his son, Jack, who this young lady apparently likes.  Odd, she seemed much more intelligent than that.

Loving a bit of tradition, we made our usual journey to the Cherry Tree – only we got waylaid and never made it.  Pompey needed the toilet and ‘ooh look!  There’s a pub on a barge!’  Even better, it was full of real ales and Krombacher Weizen.  I seem to remember a 5.9% pale ale (Jaipur?) which everyone had afterwards as well to dull the pain.

I'm swaying.  It's like I'm on a boat or summink.

Of course, the terrace is no more.  In its place has gone up another run of the mill breeze block and meccano construction which will presumably open quite soon.  In the meantime, we were allotted a chunk of the old stand to the old terrace’s right.  Decent turnout too and plenty of noise, at least till it all went wrong sometime in the second half.

The Future.  Dull dull dull.

We scored early on.  Hourihane played it out wide where Bree had all the time in the world to whip in a cross which Cole spectacularly volleyed into the net.  Then we sat back – for 75 minutes.  The midfield was overrun, the forwards never saw the ball and for a manager who got us promotion with an exciting 3-5-2 wing back formation, we stuck rigidly to 4-4-2 with Nyatanga and Bree steadfastly refusing to push up in support. 

Posh hit the post with a long shot but just as we were limping towards half time, Williams tippy-tapped the ball to them instead of clearing and BOSH, a low shot found the corner of Turnbull’s net.  Of course, plenty of Reds fans were willing to have a go at Williams, the same Reds fans who a minute earlier were bemoaning our defence for booting it long.  You can’t win.  For what it’s worth, if we’re to get back to passing ways, it will need time, effort and practice.  It won’t happen overnight.

The 2^nd 45 was one-way traffic. While Turnbull had little to do, we couldn’t get out of our half.  Ramage and Crainie marshalled the centre, while Bailey was having a great game in defensive-mid, up until the moment he got sent off.  I could see why he was given the second yellow, though equally the ref could’ve settled for the free kick.  I can’t remember the 1^st booking.

By then we were 2-1 down, a 25 yard free kick finding the top corner.  I don’t quite know how their player did it, he barely had a run up.  Being ‘lucky’ enough to be right behind it, it was in all the way.  So let’s give him his dues.  We’d have gone bananas if it was us.

Thereafter, it was damage limitation.  Turnbull pulled off a couple of great saves and we managed one attack with 10 men, but, really, it was a forlorn hope against a good Peterborough side.

If you pay enough, you can apparently have your own mascot...(sad)

*** Ramage.  Headers, tackles, interceptions.  There’s a reason Turnbull had little to do.
** Captain Fantastic.  It takes two, you know, to defend as well as we did in central defence.
* Bailey.  Covered the defence well.

Despatches:
Williams was awful, Winnall was back to his usual worst (weak) while most of us weren’t too impressed with Danny’s lack of tactical nouse.  Were we REALLY that scared of Peterborough?  Bree lost it a few times in dangerous positions (but he's young enough to learn), while Cole looked as if he could do a job if he had any support.  As for Hourihane, has he done anything since being voted Division 3 player of the month for September?

Afterwards, we found an Asda for the beer run.  And while Andy et al went on ahead to the station, I made the mistake of staying behind for Phil, who apparently doesn’t know how to use one of them there self-service tills.  Having been told off by the elderly assistant for swearing (Phil, not me), we finally got out of there.  Time was against us, and so was the fence Phil couldn’t/wouldn’t climb over…so anyway, we missed the train and Andy had the vodka, and the sausage rolls, paid for by me.  GRRRRRRR!

After afterwards, we all had beers in The Parcel Yard before Andy and I met our 1^st ever Shrewsbury fan in Mabels, before I dragged Andy for beers in Bloomsbury with some genuine Scouse Liverpool fans.  And then I fell asleep on the bus home – different bus, different random part of London to wake up in…West Norwood.  But it got worse before it got better.  As I walked along the street, what was left of the vodka (ie, most of it) jumped out of my open bag and crashed onto West Norwood high street.  Brilliant.

Oh well – at least the bus came quite quickly.  And it took my mind off the defeat for a few seconds.

The teams are paraded.

Guest report - Fulham 1 - 0 Norwich, Saturday 18 October 2014

For some reason Geordie Al passed on the opportunity to see the mighty Canaries trip to west London with me. 

A glimpse of the Cottage

It seemed like a popular choice of away trip, we spotted many Canary colours as we walked from Putney train station over the bridge. It was the 4th pub we tried that had enough space for us to find somewhere to stand - the other three had a good smattering of yellow shirts.  

The walk to the ground through a park was a pleasant change from some walks to other grounds. Fulham had pyro dogs sniffing around the turnstiles, but didn't bother to search my bag which meant I held on to my bottle of water, good job too as the concourse was packed at half time. 

Where's the end of the queue?

I didn't hold out much hope for a win after reading the stats in the programme, with Norwich not having beaten Fulham since the 80s but with an average of 2 goals to Fulham and 1 to Norwich at least there would be action. 

Neither team looked in top form from the outset. I think there were more throw ins from misplaced passes than I've seen in any match before (and I've seen a lot of Barnsley matches). Even when they got a throw in Norwich managed two foul throws. I hope Adams has called them all into training today to do throw in practice. 

Norwich had a good first 10 minutes, but then Fulham started playing a bit and they somehow managed to manoeuvre into the penalty box and have a shot on goal, which went in. 

The Canaries were sent out early from half time and were much brighter in the second half, winning a slightly dodgy penalty just a few minutes into the half. It hit the crossbar. 

Penalty miss

The misplaced pass issue continued and it became increasingly obvious Bradley Johnson was having a nightmare. It seemed everyone could see it apart from the manager because Johnson stayed on the pitch to the very end. Hooperman was sent on towards the end of the half but it didn't feel like he did much except get in Cameron Jerome's way for a chance. 

There was a shot that hit the bar at one point but even though Norwich were pressurising it just didn't feel like they would score a goal. Why? Fulham's centre back number 33, Burn, just seemed to be on the end of everything. 

Afterwards me and the 3 OAPs I had in tow headed back to the pub to get a sit down. Why do away fans think it is big and clever to stand up for the whole match? I've paid for a SEAT.
 

We rounded off the day trip with some food at my local Italian. My pizza was probably the best bit of the whole day.

Barnsley 3-1 Bradford City, Sunday 12th October 2014

'Statistically, I'm always right'

The newly renamed Pukka Pies East Stand

So, this is what it’s like to be a Premiership team, is it?  A mid-afternoon kick off on a Sunday.  I can’t say I’m a fan – so lucky we’re not returning to the Premiership any time soon.  I’ve been looking at a cost-benefit analysis of this 'ere Sunday football:

Benefit	Cost
£20k off Sky (if that!)	Early morning start on a SUNDAY
Satdy shopping in Oxford Street	Fewer Londontykes travelling
Missing the England game	Missing church
	Train journey longer
	Constant jibber of small child on train
	‘drink inhibitor’ (A. Reed) of work next day
	Expensive train tickets (£29.40 WITH 1/3 off!)
	Tesco and café in Kings X shut
	Satdy shopping in Oxford Street
	‘Mermaids’ and the chippy by The Mount shut

There it is – fairly conclusive I’d have thought.  Obviously, I’m not including the ‘benefit’ of actually winning a home game, cos I doubt moving our games to the Sabbath will GUARANTEE victory.  (Though perhaps Mansford is considering it).  And so it was that I found myself having a lager in a plastic glass pre-match (Redfearns).  Sigh.  Could things GET any worse?  Well, try giving it 46 seconds at Oakwell, time enough for the Bantams to take the lead, a slick passing move between 3 or 4 players including only one effort at a tackle (failed).  I wouldn’t even mind, but they’d already made it to our box once.  Good effort Reds!

Thereafter, I thought City controlled the half, with us resorting to hoofs upfield to forwards who couldn’t hold a ball up (Cole, Winnall) while we were generally restricted to long shots.  Fair enough, there were some decent efforts, though Winnall hit one he could’ve passed and driven into the box, while he also spurned our best (only?) chance, hitting the bar having taken the ball wide.  Half-time, 0-1, and Moll musing on impending relegation.  Me too.

Lots of happy Bantams (half time).

But who was that team in red, second half?  With Williams (?) running at ‘em from midfield and Cole running at ‘em up front, Bradford were s***ing themselves.  Yet before any inroads could be made in open play, a beautiful in-swinging free kick was headed home by Nyatanga.  Or them.  Who cares???  And before you knew it, Nyatanga, in a perfect position to shoot, lays it across goal for Winnall to tap home – yet he didn’t, he blasted it low into the net.  Fabulous play from Nyatanga, I can’t think of many players at Oakwell who would have gone for the pass.  And great run from Winnall.  Linekeresque.  Let’s hope this gives him the confidence to go on.

Towards the end, as they camped in our half without ever looking like they had a clue, we were breaking 3 on 3 time and again and Hemmings (on as sub) nailed it, sidefooting home from the edge of the box after Hourihane’s cross deflected into his path.  Cool finish.

Overall – even if it was only one half – it was by far the best I’ve seen us this season.  Though I find it slightly disconcerting that the team includes 3 loan players.  Every year ‘tis the same: we’re gonna develop our own players, we lose a couple of games, panic, ship in the loanees.  But where would we be without ‘em?

Happy Tykes (full time).

*** Winnall.  Sponsors MOTM.  Go on then.  He DID score, had another super effort saved (sidestepping a defender and hitting it early) and willingly tracked back.  And he only did his pathetic swallow dive once, towards the end. 

** Manchester City’s Devante Cole.  Pace and strength, if not actual skill, but he scares the bejeezus out of defenders when he runs at them and with 3 (count ‘em!) players up in support – Winnall, Hourihane, Williams – the ball was always likely to drop for us at some point.

* Fulham’s Ryan Williams.  Slow start , as he took players on and lost it, but once he got his eye in, was leaving players for dead.  Like a good Paddy McCourt, but instead of dribbling in a pointless figure of eight, would actually head towards goal and pass the ball.

Match action

Despatches:

I don’t have much else to add.  Individually, I thought everyone had a decent game.  And for once, Turnbull had little to do, they only had one shot on target (scored).

Oh yes, actually I DO have something to add.  Why is our vocal element also the RACIST element?  Fingers crossed the Sky microphones didn’t pick up the chants of ‘Town full of Pakis’ and ‘You’re just a small town in Asia’ cos you could hear it in the Pukka Pies East Stand (!?).  Yes, it’s tiresome, having away fans chant ‘Barnsley’s a sh*thole’ while not actioning their civil right to actually go home, though at least a better response came later with ‘I’m glad we’re at home….Bradford’s a sh*thole…I’m glad we’re at home’.  This one could run and run.  Apart from when we play Yeovil, obvs.

Drink du jour:  As I said, we were taking it easy, Monday being a school day and all.  After one in the Tap we had a few bottles of Becks on the way home.  Sainsburys Local didn’t have the greatest choice.

Onwards and upwards!!!!!!!!!

Away: 2000.  Good turnout, considering it was on Sky.

Oh yes!

Rochdale 0-1 Barnsley, Saturday 4th October 2014

‘Weeing for men is so win.’

Welcome to Rochdale!  (ok, actually 'goodbye'...check out the length of shadow)

We had to win this game.  Up against Reds ‘legends’ Hill, Dawson, Done and Kennedy (the latter didn’t play; shame, I was looking forward to giving him some ‘advice’), anything less than victory against those who played such starring roles in making us the 3^rd division team that we are, would’ve been nothing short of disaster.  Or another way of looking at it was play-off placed Rochdale were home to 3^rd bottom Barnsley.

Expectant Reds fans

...and their flags

Wilson has obviously been listening to me.  M’Voto and Nyatanga were no more in the centre of defence, on-loan Ramage partnering Captain Fantastic.  (I called this before the game – ask Andy).  Dudgeon was swept aside at left back and Nyatanga switched over.  Still not perfect, but a start.  And what do we get?  A CLEAN SHEET!!!  Though it’s fair to say Rochdale had the majority of play and the vast majority of shots.  But instead of players having all day to pick a spot, an impending challenge here and there made them rush and, remember, these are 3^rd division players.  Coupled with the one time they DID break through, Turnbull pulled off a fabulous one-on-one save.  So, deserved?  Not really, but we certainly dug deep and the decent backing (1000+) were rewarded.

Blazing sunshine, floodlights on.

Obviously, being so far away, Londontyke numbers were down, but me, Reedy and the flag made it.  We joined Wadd and new lucky mascot Aimee (it was her 1^st away game!) in Manchester for the 13 minute train ride to Rochdale.  No wonder they’re so poorly supported, with City and United on their doorstep.  Anyway, after the slagging off of Port Vale / Burslem and its football fans t’other week, I can only say positives about Rochdale.  Decent fans, very humble and surroundings that don’t look like Beirut circa 1983.  In fact, you can even see the surrounding Pennines from most of the town, though admittedly it was a bizarre walk to find the pub, with ‘Rochdale’s by-pass built straight through it’ (that was one of their lads).  Great beers at The Baum, CAMRA pub of the year for Oldham, Bury and Rochdale, I think I read.  And we even picked up a Reds’ stray, ‘Ollie’, who’d come over from Sheffield on a whim.

Half time at any Barnsley away game

*** Berry.  I thought he had a decent game, picking off stray passes and making tackles in midfield.  In fact, the more I watched him, the better he looked.

** Damage.  1 or 2 dodgy moments, but I’ll settle for a clean sheet and the winner in every game.  I’d certainly settle for not having Nyatanga and M’Voto as the centre back ‘partnership’.

* Turnbull.  Faultless, though most of it was ‘bread and butter’ thanks to better defending this week.  Crucial save to keep it 0-1.

Despatches:
Cole looked dangerous and really ought to have had a penalty before the one he did get.  You can see why players go down easily when, if you try and stay on your feet, you get nowt.  For the pen, great save from their keeper, I’ll not be too harsh on Hourihane, though it would have been nice for him to move onto 7 for the season.  I believe he currently has as many as the 4 forwards put together.  Treacy was barely noticeable on the wing, before being subbed.  Bree looked good at right back.  Oh, and ‘Winnall’ ought to be named ‘Lose Everything’ cos he does.  And I think Dawson enjoyed the ‘banter’, despite losing.

Hourihane has last minute pen saved

Drinks du jour:  Lager lager lager.  Stella, Hoegaarden, Leffe, San Miguel…a couple of random Weiss biers in the Tap.  I managed to stay awake on the bus, but my hangover wasn’t any less on Sunday.

Onwards and upwards!!!!!!!!!

A