BFC U21 1-2 Sheffield Wednesday U21, Tuesday 20th February 2024

Barnsley U21 1-2 Sheffield Wednesday U21, Professional Development League, Oakwell training pitch, att. c.200

It’s a warm Spring day, sunny, and I’ve nought else on. Why not travel across to Barnsley and watch the Under 21s with Nozzer? It must be 35 years since I’ve last seen a reserve game, back in the days when I’d have a fortnight’s holiday at my nana’s in Barnsley to coincide with the start of the season. Back then, reserve games were at Oakwell and the juniors played on the Queen’s Ground, adjacent to Oakwell. These days, the Queen’s Ground still exists (as far as I know, there’s that much of that ubiquitous metal fencing around it, as well as a sports hall in front of it) but the cricket pitch behind the away end at Oakwell has long since been bought up and turned into more practice pitches for Barnsley FC, including an all-weather astroturf pitch (with sizeable stand). Next to that is a grass pitch with seats built into the hill overlooking it, though, sadly, no roof.

There’s a sizeable crowd this afternoon too, maybe 200 or so. I guess it’s the weather rather than the opposition, albeit it is a local derby. Star 17 year old Jalo (currently away from the first team, injured) has come to see his age group buddies, along with reserve right back Barry Cotter. Good on them. I also saw 1st team manager Collins on the way out. For irregular watchers like me, there’s only 2 players I’m especially familiar with, forwards Aidan Marsh, a diminutive, direct, left footed attacker, and Max Watters, the proverbial donk...I mean, big lad up top. 24 years old and so bad he’s relegated to this, punting around with a bunch of youngsters, staring at the Oakwell stands not 200 metres away. (For the uninitiated, Watters was so bad on loan last season that we signed him. Only BFC...etc)

Some of Wednesday’s players are MASSIVE and Watters is dominated by whoever is marking him. Marsh meantime is MOTM, running at Wednesday, scoring an excellent 20 yarder, and not letting the defence get any peace in possession. However, the visitors enjoy the majority of the chances and the Reds keeper makes some excellent saves, though he’s powerless to stop a header. Then, deep into injury time, Wednesday clear a corner to the edge of their box, their player looks up...and can’t believe the only player stood on the halfway line is their centre forward. Inevitably the ball is played into the acres of space and said player runs onto it to hammer home. Comical, and the Reds coach can be heard wondering where the defender was who was meant to be stood in the centre circle to counter this kind of thing. Oh well. At least it wasn’t the first team.

Oh yeah, and Washday had Bruno Fernandes playing for them. No wonder they won.

The Damage:
c.£8 petrol
free ent
= c.£8

BFC 1-1 Sheffield Wednesday, Saturday 8th February 2020

‘Don’t ask for permission.  Beg for forgiveness.’

Barnsley v Washday panorama.

What to make of yesterday?  Are we in last chance saloon yet?  Is every game ‘must win’?  Another chance goes begging, as we are the better team throughout (whilst still giving Washday chances).  Still, at least we didn’t lose to our big city betters.  But with 15 matches left and 7 points adrift of the magical 21^st position we all dream about, time is starting to run out.

A well populated fanzone pre-match.

What to make of Washday?  They already have at least 4 centre forwards earning small fortunes, so they go and get another one in the transfer window, Conor Wickham of Palace.  Are Fletcher, Winnall, Rhodes and Nuhiu not enough?  How can they afford it?  Oh, yeah – they can’t.  Hence the sale of the ground by the owners to the owners and subsequent dodgy accounting.  Plus harebrained schemes like this https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/51129422 The Washday fans we spoke to on the train afterwards were convinced they’ll be deducted 21 points, thereby putting them in the relegation zone with us.  All the more reason for us to carry on battling.  We might get lucky, finish 3^rd off bottom and still not be relegated.

The teams line up.

Sadly, ‘Super Sammy’ Winnall / Sammy the Snake (delete as applicable) couldn’t even make their bench.  We could have done with a bit of spice to the match, as the atmosphere for the most part was a bit dead, only livening up in the last 20 minutes as we went looking for a winner, and nearly giving Wednesday theirs.

As ever, a defensive balls-up gave them the lead, as the white spherical thing pinballed between Thomas and Mads before rolling kindly for another new Washday signing, Windass, to beat Collins on his near post.  I’ll be generous and say it was bloody unlucky.  But we can give the opposition a goal from anywhere, while we normally have to work very hard for ours, so it came as a pleasant surprise to see us equalise 8 minutes later in hilarious circumstances.

The Super Reds attack a corner.

Their keeper comes out for the ball and attempts to clear, left footed.  However, the ball just rolls 15 yards forward, straight to Woodrow, who hits it straight back into an empty net from 35 yards.  Have they just signed one of our keepers?  I don’t think I’ve seen this kind of goal (live) in my life…now I’ve seen 3 this season.  Is it modern football, every backstop thinking he’s a ‘sweeper keeper’?  Anyway, it’s an absolute gift.  We then go close when Chaplin hits a snapshot straight at the keeper, while Brown burst past 2 players and tried to put it between the keeper’s legs.  Unfortunately, the keeper spread himself well and saved.  Collins has not made a save at this point.

Looking towards the away end, pre-match.

Second half, nothing happens for 20 minutes, then we start playing all these one-twos and generally taking Washday apart…without getting the final ball right.  How many times did we engineer great situations, only for…anyway, fair play to Washday, who got men back, made blocks, and made it difficult for our forwards to find space.

Still, coulda been worse.  A break from them ended with a volley wide, while in injury time they broke clear…oh no, here we go again…but Collins saved the one-on-one.  Phew.  Now we only had to worry about getting a train to Sheffield with the Great Unwashed.  Hopefully they’ll get their points deduction and go down with us.  They certainly looked relegation fodder (but not as bad as Huddersfield).

Onwards and upwards!

Pre-match entertainment from local band Rosadocs (terrible name).

*** Brown.  He was everywhere against his former team (who released him, age 14).  Won every header, his movement pulled players all over the place, and he has strength, pace and awareness of where his teammates are.

** Oduor.  Looked a lot more confident than last week.  Pulled their right back this way and that.  Sponsors’ MOTM.

* Woodrow.  No-one else would have scored that goal.

Londontykes' MOTM: 1. Brown 2. Woodrow  3. Oduor

Despatches:
Madswatch: Aside from his role in their goal, a couple of other starring moments from our worst centre half since Diaby.  2^nd half, he ends up wrong side of Conor Wickham on the halfway line and spends 50 yards trying to catch up with the slowest…sorry, second slowest…player on the pitch.  Luckily Washday messed up the attack.  1^st half, Mads goes to cover Oduor, but ends up being skinned by their player, who delivers a cross into our box.  Thankfully, we had men back.  However, overall, he had his least worst game in a while, even sometimes heading the ball properly (though not every time).  I still couldn’t help but think Washday’s best chance was to punt the ball in his vicinity.

The Ponty, pre-match.  (I forgot to take a pic during.)

The other centre half (Sollbauer?  Beckenbauer?) had his best game yet, and almost looked like a footballer.  Almost.  Jordan Williams looked comfortable, and certainly made one excellent covering tackle.  Mowatt divided opinion.  I thought he was alright, playing in a more defensive role.  Simoes improved as the game went on, after initially being bullied by their HUGE right back.  At one point he had a 10 yard headstart, and this 9 foot defender caught him within another 10.  (As I said tho, this defender looked lost when a player twisted and turned against him.)  Thomas had his moments, before Styles came on and had his moments – my favourite being when he controlled a ball 25 yards out, only to look up and see the keeper right in front of him.  WTF was the keeper doing?  Anyway, he scurried back, while Styles lost it dribbling.  Chaplin had a quiet game, and he too was withdrawn after 68 for Bahre (remember him?)  Even Schmidt came on with about 10 minutes left, showing that Strudel was at least TRYING to win the game (if putting on a chocolate fireguard of a centre forward can be deemed ‘trying to win the game’).  

The reason we never kick-off at 3pm in home derbies.

Drink du jour: A nice bottle of Merlot, inbetween a wheat beer in the Sheffield Tap and whatever we had at St. Pancras ‘spoons.

Away: 4,999.  Capacity (courtesy of SYP not letting us sell the full end)

The Damage:

£35 train

£3 prog

= £38

The Tunes:
Angel Dust (Faith No More)
Pink Me Up – A Sabrettes Compilation (Various)

Did I fall asleep on way home?  Of course.  Walked part the way back from Honor Oak, but did see a fox scampering across the road into Peckham Rye, which was nice.

A panorama from The Ponty (cheers Jonesy!)

Halfway to Paradise.

Celebrating our history in the East Stand.

The teams come out, flags are waved.

Welcome to Peckham.  Home sweet home.

BFC 1-1 Sheffield Wednesday, Saturday 10th February 2018

‘Pull your jeans up!’

Welcome to...a new sign!

The king is dead.  Long live the king.  Yes, it’s the first game following Paul ‘he’s one of our own (no he isn’t)'s controversial departure to local cuddly fluffballs Dirty Leeds.  Tell you what we need – let’s have a home game v Sheffield Superclub, who we cannot beat no matter what.  The more things change….

The players certainly seemed up for it, none more so than new captain Yiadom early doors, who races 15 yards to win a 30-70 header.  I almost had to turn away, fearing a sickening clash of heads.  And on a captains note, have we given the captaincy to Yids just so he can be the 4^th captain we lose in consecutive transfer windows?

The cap'n.

We attacked constantly in that 1^st half.I s’pose it helped having proper wingers (Hammill and a returning Isgrove; Moncur dropping to the bench to no-one’s disappointment).  But wingers can’t play without a solid midfield base, and Williams and Gardner had their best match yet together.  Chuck in decent performances from the fullbacks and defence, and against a side as poor as Washday, how did we not win?  

Lest there be any doubt.

I haven’t even mentioned my new favourite (non) Reds player…Olly ‘Caspar’ McBurnie, on loan from Swansea.  He is AWESOME.  He is EVERYWHERE.  The ball STICKS to him.  He can run at players.  He can head a ball.  He puts in challenges. He is mobile.  He is more on his own than the rest of our (fairly expensively signed) forward line COMBINED. Even better, he looks about as far from a footballer as you’re likely to get.  Socks around his ankles, a skinny frame, even his posture is dishevelled.  He is Billy Caspar incarnate.  And he capped a superb performance with, for me, the goal of the season so far.  He picks the ball up to the right of the box.  He drives in, plays a one-two (WTF?), rounds a defender, then still has the composure to stroke the ball home with his left into the far right corner.  Like Obi Wan Kenobi, ‘you’re my only hope.’

The Ponty v Washday.

Course, we still didn’t eke out that win and if I’m pinpointing one single excuse, apart from Bradshaw again being unable to hit the old onion bag (has he made it 10 matches without a goal yet?), it’s the referee.  Whyohwhyohwhy do we keep getting Premiership referees to officiate our ‘big’ local derbies – they only ever seem to favour the ‘big’ sides.  Today was Lee Probert’s turn.  Washday play a throughball.  I’m level with it, East lower, towards the away end.  It’s Townsend’s all day long, but he hesitates, then goes backwards.  Washday run onto it, then there’s a tangle with Yiadom, he goes down.  Pen.  I couldn’t tell, but having the benefit of TV, it’s certainly less of a pen than the one he later turns down for Hammill, who is impeded as he rounds their defender.  Of course we know Hamill goes down easily (at least his missus is happy) but, when he’s on a booking already, I don’t see Hammill diving.  And it would have been very soft, but in the last minute, substitute Moore, running away from goal, has his shirt blatantly pulled.  The ‘referee’s assistant’, enjoying exactly the same view as me, sees nothing.  Grrrrrrrr.  And we’ll ignore all the times Washday took quick free kicks from a complete different place from where the incidents took place.  

Townsend dives out of the way of the pen.

Still, we can’t rely on the ref.  Bradshaw hit a sweet volley which was well saved, while scuffing a close range bobbler into the keeper 2^nd half.  Unfortunately, the Hammill penalty incident notwithstanding, our efforts petered out 2^nd half and when McBurnie was taken off with 20 mins left, the game was up.  Isgrove had already been dragged off for an ineffectual Bournemouth winger.  (He looked very poor; like a left footed Kevin Donovan).  Kept possession, but only cos he was kicking it backwards to someone else.  

Onwards and upwards!

Washday celebrate taking the lead.

*** McBurnie.  I can understand why Hecky (who?) kept up the pursuit.  Let’s hope he lives up to the hyperbole.  Twitter MOTM.  Obvs.

** Hammill.  Beckhamesque.  Doesn’t need to beat a player to whip in a cross.  And worked hard, as usual.  And got booked for diving into a tackle.  As usual.

* Isgrove.  We looked a lot more balanced today, with Izzy Wizzy Let’s Get Busy.  If he could cross a ball, we’d be dangerous.  Perhaps he couldn’t remember the size of the pitch…?

Despatches:  Townsend did pretty well, outside of the goal.  Commanded his box, anyway (but didn’t really have a save to make).  Yiadom was back to making runs at their defence, Penniless looked solid.  Mills was magnificent 1^st half, ably supported by Lindsay.  Their team were GIANTS, none more so than the centre forward.  Williams and Gardner paired up well, the only time I remember Williams losing it being some stupid back heeled flick volley from the keeper’s punt.  Much improved, Joe.  Bradshaw will never score another goal in a Reds shirt.  Moore might never get one in the 1^st place.  Thiam can’t even get off the bench.  Mahoney is a winger who can’t beat a player or cross a ball.

Players await a corner.

The early start saw off The Captain, another missed bus meaning he didn’t get out of Hampshire.  Big thanks to Hicksy and Loko, who looked after my 4 Dutch groundhoppers, letting them keep their bags in Redfearns.  Even better, while in Redfearns, they wanted 6 volunteers for the half time entertainment.  I quickly jumped in and thus we had 3 Dutchmen running around a cone 10 times then trying to put a shot past Toby Tyke.  It’s a fine balancing act, trying to hit a ball with some power while not trying to slip over on the wet turf, and one of them never managed it.  ‘You shouldn’t laugh at other people’s misfortune, but that WAS funny’ said the announcer.  (He still scored tho.)  Hopefully it made their day, since their taxi to Bradford never showed up and they missed their double header (2 matches in one day). 

One Dutchman struggles with the concept...

Also, is it just me who can’t believe Reds fans CHEERING Sheffield United winning?  I mean, I know it’s against Hecky’s bunch, but still…(and while we’re on past Reds managers, wasn’t it a shame to see future Premiership coach Little Lee see his side lose a 3 goal lead to Sunderland?  What do you mean it was?  I know, I know, Sunderland are in the mix with us.  But I’ve now got bets with FIVE people that we’re going down.  Loko, Jonesy, Slacki, Beckenham Chris…and whoever I made the bet with in the pub in Brentford, which Alison filmed.)  We are in deep, deep s*** and if we don’t pull out some points in the next 2 matches (Burton, Brum) I don’t see how we’re getting points anywhere else.  Ollie McBurnie….you are our only hope.

...while another prepares to drill it home.

Drink du jour: 
Being on a train in the middle of the afternoon, we decided to take it easy and have beer.  Until we got to Sainsbury and saw there was an offer on the JD.  The coke was incidental.  Then several pints of Sierra Nevada at the Parcel Yard with Reedy and a discussion on where’s best to discover new music: 6 Music or Spotify.

Away: 4,500.  Due to police concerns, a stand what holds 5,900 can now only safely hold 4,500 blue and white stripey ****s.  Still, at least they’re paying £36 for the privilege, as we return the favour.  Ba5tards.

The Damage:
£23.80 train
£5 prog (yes, you read that right.  Another ‘special’.  Though I need to ask the pretty girlfriend of James Cryne what she sees in the heir to a multi-million fortune)
= £28.80

The Tunes:
Every Country’s Sun (Mogwai).
Blind (The Sundays)

Panorama v Washday.

Not very busy at 11:15am (for a 12:15 KO).

The teams line up.

Full time.

Washday 1-0 Barnsley, Saturday 1st February 2014

‘Jacob Ba5tard fcuking Mellis’

Pre-match entertainment Washday-style

Things I don’t remember about yesterday:  journeying home to Peckham, meowing at the cat when he woke me up, staring at Match of the Day while making the V sign at Alan Pardew.

Thing I do remember: waking up at 3 in the morning convinced it was time to go to work and getting up and putting the shower on. ‘Allan, what are you doing?’ ‘But it’s 3 in the morning and it’s a SUNDAY!’

What a game, what a day.  A decent turnout from the Londontykes with half a dozen optimistic fools making the journey up, 2 in first class (Phil and Tim). Our company is only worthwhile one way.  (True).  Onto the north and Sheffield’s finest real ale pub, whatever it’s called at Kelham Island.  For a second year in a row I make the mistake of ordering an Erdinger ‘dunkel’.  I may not have the opportunity to make it a hattrick.  Good to meet Molly and Sharon in there too, though they wisely decided to avoid the pain of Hillsborough.

I don’t know what to say.  What I do know is that for over an hour the Super Reds battled bravely with 10 men and barely gave Washday a sniff of goal. Barely a sniff.  Steele tipped one over the bar and made a couple of other regulatory saves, but that was it.  And then, in the 7^th minute of injury time (!!!!!), with us down to 9 men, a Washday pot shot from distance skidded along the turf and flew into the bottom corner beyond a diving Steele.  Even worse, I was in line with the shot all the way and you knew before it hit the net it was a goal.  Fate decreed it.  

The inquest began at 3:29pm however, around the time debutant Frimpong was sent off.  There’s no doubt he deserved his cards.  The first yellow, he’d only been spoken to by the ref 30 seconds before.  The second one, I was even more livid.  Like the rest of us, Frimpong watched as Kennedy and Mellis resolutely refused to put a tackle in on the 2 dawdling Washday players in the corner.  (Ironic considering what happened later).  So Frimpong went over to sort it out, their player cleverly shielded the ball away from him and he ran into the back of him.  See ya!  Till then, I thought he looked the best player on the pitch.  

The walk of shame (idiot).

So, we sat back and soaked up what ‘pressure’ there was, while in Jennings we had a player who looked like he could do something on the break.  And then our chance came: Washday went down to 10 with about 10 to play, their lad nearly brekking Shea.  We had played a wily, patient game with the Fowls and now we could exploit their stupidity and take our chance.  The crowd were willing on the Super Reds, now was our time.  The ball bounced around their box a bit and Mellis went down claiming a pen.  I wasn’t convinced – though his reaction seemed to suggest otherwise.  Indeed, the Angry Man of our midfield still hadn’t calmed down a minute later and went in studs up on their winger.  Given the straight red earlier, there could be no other option.

9 v 10, even more difficult than 10 v 11, and as Washday poured men forward for a corner, our chance came.  The ball broke loose for us outside of our box and if O’Brien could just switch it left, we had 2 players alone on the overlap.  He tried.  He failed.  Washday strode forward, unleashed the shot and we’d lost another derby against that bunch of shysters.  Selwood’s pre-match prediction of us ‘snatching defeat from the jaws of victory’ proved prescient.

South Stand

So, who to blame?  I’m taking entries for:

1.  Frimpong.  Despite his obvious class, he looked an accident waiting to happen.  Obviously not the most intelligent of footballers, considering the ref had actually chatted to him about his conduct and he simply carried on.

2.  The ref.  Premiership (!) ref Andre Marriner manages to add on 7 minutes of injury time (the 4^th official having announced there’d be ‘a minimum of 5 minutes injury time’ - well, he was right there!) as well as making a whole host of other ‘interesting’ decisions.  If this is the best we have in this country, how badly would a ‘normal’ ref have handled this game?  

3.  O’Brien.  If only he’d just hoofed the ball down the line, we’d have come away with a point.  But we were all screaming for the crossfield ball – weren’t we?

4.  Jacob Ba5tard Fcuking Mellis.  What an absolute tit of a footballer.  Can’t tackle, won’t tackle – until he gets so riled he can’t help himself.  We’d got the game to 10 v 10, we were now in the ascendancy, and then he unleashes his ridiculous tackle (fnarr, fnarr).  Being that he is such a ‘talent’, how come Danny couldn’t find someone to take this pesky footballer off our hands during the transfer window?  Still, we’ll not have to put up with him for the next 3 matches.  Tw*t.

*** Ramage.  Out of this world.
** Crainie.  Unbelieveable.
* Jennings.  Really.

North Stand

Despatches:

Despite the fans willing the team on to hit Washday on the break, I thought Danny and the team got their tactics spot on when we went down to 10. More than once we saw players have to restrain themselves from chasing down balls in the Washday half and we so nearly got our just desserts.  

On another note, Washday are really straining my ambivalent relationship with them.  I couldn’t give a rat’s ar5e about them under normal circumstances.  They are as inconsequential a team as you could wish to meet.  I’ve never lived anywhere near their beautiful city and I’ve never lived anywhere their supporters are visible.  (Even in London, I’ll see Mags or Mackems, but I never see one of those blue and white stripey knobs, however ‘huge’ they purport to be on Radio Sheffield).  But losing 13 matches in 15 at their place, when they haven’t had a decent side in all that time, is highly f***ing annoying.  In fact, such is the predictability of our doom, invariably in ‘controversial circumstances’, that you could put your house on it.  So why does yesterday hurt so much?  Well, as someone once said, it’s the HOPE I can’t stand.  We’d come SO close, only to fail, yet again.  It's like Groundhog Day, again and again and again.

Drink du jour: vodka.  Lots of it, but not enough of it.

Sheffield Superclub, Hillsborough