BFC 2-1 Exeter City, Saturday 7th March 2026

’Did you know today is the anniversary of your dad’s death?’ ‘No.’

Whatthehell was that protest? 24 tennis balls are thrown from the Ponty End and a few fans accompany it with ‘You greedy bastards, get out of our club.’ We can’t even do protests right. Was there forewarning? Did anybody else know about it? Or was it dreamed up in the pub youth club beforehand? I guess that, it not being a school nite, there’s more of da yoof in than Tues nite.

I wouldn’t mind, but it’s not like it even benefited the town’s economy, being that Slazenger closed their tennis ball making factory 20 odd years ago. Pathetic. As was the ‘protest’. Depending on who I listened to at half-time, these owners of ours have put in £15-20m over three years or so. They might make some poor decisions, but I’m not sure I’d call them ‘greedy’.

Worse, the tennis balls came flying on as we were crushing Exeter, two-nil up and looking for more. The balls killed momentum, but hey! The last thing you want when you’re protesting is the team doing well. (See also: us scoring a late winner at Oldham to end Little Lee’s 8 losses in a row.) It does nought for the cause. McGoldrick had put us one up after Cleary put him through, time standing still as he advanced forward before dinking it over the diving keeper. Then, just past the hour mark, McG puts in a cross for Yoganathan to head home. Yes, our Welsh Sri Lankan was picked ahead of the Welsh GOAT.

It wasn’t the only unusual selection by Coach Conor. Having seen the team pre-match, speculation was rife that we’d be going back 3. No chance. The Ruben Amorim of League 1 sticks to what he knows. By putting the kitchen fitter at left back in a back 4. Inspired? Insane? Well, the only thing he did wrong was chopping down a Grecian for a booking, but injury saved him a 2nd one (lasting 5 minutes of the second half), Coach Conor deciding not to haul him at half-time. I was quite looking forward to Conor leaving a youngster on for the 3rd time this season to get a 2nd yellow (and then hanging him out to dry in the post-match interview).

I don’t remember much happening after this, till the subs. Exeter were quite the most awful side I’ve seen this season, absolutely no threat whatsoever. So Coach Conor drags Cleary and Bradshaw for Banks and The GOAT. The un-dynamic duo (Connell and Bland) back to showcase their central midfield dominance. They score 3 minutes later. So much for seeing out the game. Still, it’s difficult to blame anybody but MdG (outjumped) and O’Connell (slipped). Can you imagine US scoring from a 50 yard hoof into their box? Still, it’s entertaining, eh Conor? BTTS, etc.

We survived a scramble soon after (MdG clearing) and that was about it. I think the goal woke us up a bit, in that we were more wary about the chances of conceding. It certainly didn’t make us more attacking. Or was that the manpower changes? Banks had a long ranger tipped round the post, but the ref gave a goalkick. Have they changed the rules? Maybe shots have to be on target in the first place.

Then, with 3 or 4 minutes left, the depression of watching us try to timewaste a corner. Absolutely zero players put in their box, we’ll attempt to eat up a few ‘valuable seconds’. This narks me beyond picking the kitchen fitter. THERE ARE SEVERAL MINUTES TO GO and this piece of crapmanship only serves to tell the opposition we have NO INTENTION of scoring a goal…which means they can commit as many men forward as they wish. I’ll tell you what WOULD ensure victory. Extending the lead by heading in a corner. But I’m not sure we’ve done that all season. (How many HAVE Shepherd, Roberts, MdG or O’Connell scored? I’m pretty sure Earl got one, but he might have been left back that day for all I know.)

2-1 Super Reds. Woop woop.

Onwards and upwards!

*** Yoganathan. It’s him or McG. Yoga won balls, strode forward, passed to Reds players. Like a slow motion Kelly. Oh, and he scored. You don’t get that from Bland.
** McGoldrick. What a player. Mr Consistent in an inconsistent team.
* O’Keeffe. This is getting annoying. The opposition refuse to attack O’Keeffe, thereby making him look like a good player…and at least he tries to get up the park and create summat.

Official MOTM: McGoldrick

Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Yoganathan 2. McGoldrick 3. O’Keeffe

Despatches:
As the second half meandered into nothingness (again) I was daydreaming (again). I was daydreaming about what other people daydream about. What’s for tea? The latest situation in the Middle East (doubtful). Is it me or is it getting cold? This is obviously as well as ‘what is Conor doing?’ ‘Why are we trying to protect a two goal lead against possibly the worst side to come to Oakwell this season?’

That said, individual performances weren’t great. Phillips was anonymous, and had I not seen Bradshaw’s part in the opening goal (clicking the ball onto Cleary) I’d have said he didn’t touch the ball all day. Ogbeta looks more hapless by the week. Is that what you get when you take a player out of the team for playing well? He loses all confidence, in and out of the team? MdG and O’Connell again looked our best central defensive partnership, yet still manage to prove it’s incapable of doing a job for 90 minutes. Connell wasn’t bad. Another sign of how poor some others looked? Cleary looked alright, but wasn’t given the ball enough. Crapman, meantime, had nothing to do. If I’d been in the nets this week, we’d have still only conceded one.

I was amused to hear Coach Conor’s latest spin. ‘3 wins in 5’. Blimey. That’s promotion form. I presume it’s also ‘3 wins in 6’ and WLWLWLWLWLWL does not for a place in the play-offs make. Still, if we win our 3 games in hand (laughing emoji).

Drink du jour: Beartown Inception at Spiral.

Away: 347 (9,706). Most remarkable for ‘Barnsley’s a sh*thole, I wanna go home’ chant before we’d even kicked off. They were as quiet as us after that, as befitted our lowest crowd of the season (lge only).

The Damage:
£7 petrol
= £7

AFC Blackpool 3-0 Holker Old Boys, Saturday 28th February 2026

AFC Blackpool 3-0 Holker Old Boys, North West Counties League First Division North, Mechanics Ground, att. 410

It’s the final game of the day for the Saturday of the North West Counties League groundhop and it’s only a 5 minute walk from the previous game at Squires Gate. It’s almost like they planned these things! As luck would also have it, I’ve parked my car inbetween the two, which is handy for my mate Stu. He’s a little cold and wants to don his big coat.

At Squires Gate, I asked another groundhopper where AFC Blackpool was. He pointed towards some houses. ‘You can see the floodlights!’ That was handy, as it meant no rush, so while most of the groundhoppers made their way over, we watched a bit of Der Klassiker in the social club. (Well, it beat watching Dirty Leeds – Man City.)

I was worried about crowd numbers at AFC. Would fans have had enough and be drifting home after 3 matches already? There were certainly fewer, but 410 was a more than respectable attendance for a Satdy nite 10th tier game. The social club was a lot pokier than Squires Gate however, and the queue was out the door for food and warm drinks. Stu would have to come back for our tea. Last season’s shirts were a bargain tenner a pop, but I just couldn’t ever foresee myself needing to wear a tangerine AFC Blackpool shirt, other than to point out to bemused folk that it wasn’t Blackpool FC, but AFC Blackpool.

The name of the ground intrigued me. ‘The Mechanics Ground.’ Wasn’t there a side called Blackpool Mechanics? Indeed there was. Inside the entrance to the social club, a display case showed off various trophies and other paraphernalia linked to Mechanics. Had they gone bust? A bit of digging found that no, they’d simply re-named themselves ‘AFC Blackpool’ in 2008. Much more prosaic and less romantic.

The small seated stand beside the social club was busy, but I spied the stand behind the goal. It looked a higher vantage point and it’d be cosy (warmer) under the roof. We bumped into Nathaniel, again, the Hednesford groundhopper. ‘Have you noticed anything?’ he asks. No. ‘Look up.’ There was no roof. So much for cosy. The stand had sides, a fascia, a back, stanchions, but no roof. Still, we stayed, as the home side were attacking (and scoring) at this end. 2 nil after 15 minutes.

Stu brought me a tea, then we went for a wander. The long side to our right had the most spectators. A small stand with a couple of steps straddled the halfway line. There was another covered stand behind the goal, but this was virtually empty save for a couple of lads on drums, making up songs to their hearts’ content. Indeed, there were more drums than they had ensemble, perched on chairs. Good on ‘em, even if no-one else wanted to join them.

Half-time arrived, the home side still being 2 goals ahead. I knew Stu was chilly, and although I faced a drive of over an hour, he’d have another hour drive after that. ‘Shall we call it a day?’ It was up to me. We’d done our stint, had a most enjoyable day, but I didn’t expect we’d miss much if we were to go home.

Thanks, North-West Counties Football League, and thanks GroundhoppersUK.

The Damage:
£6 ent
£2 prog...and a very sparse offering at that. Talk about punting one out just cos the groundhoppers are in town!
= £8

BFC 0-1 Wycombe Wanderers, Tuesday 3rd March 2026

’I live for the day he’s man of the match. He’s F***ING SH*T.’

I was walking down Grove Street after the game last nite when I saw a bloke with a white stick, arm in arm with another bloke. Behind him was another bloke using a white stick. It was the blind leading the blind, an apt metaphor for the game, I thought. Coach Conor, Wycombe having bossed the opening half, makes ZERO changes at half-time. We’re under the cosh again in the second half. ‘We’ve got to make changes’ texts B. Haigh of Lanzarote. ‘He will wait till they score’ replies Farnham. He waits till they score. Then subs the left footed left back for a right footer (Ogbeta hauled for O’Keeffe). We go on to win 3-1.

Of course, that’s in a parallel universe frequented by a coach with more skillz than Hourihane. If his golden foursome up front don’t bag, there is no Plan B. Sorry, there IS a Plan B (from Outer Space)…give it a few minutes, then swap O’Keeffe and right back Watson around, so we still have a right-footed defender (I use the term loosely) playing left back. It obviously confused me, cos when Watson put a delicious ball across our box for THEM to be clean through, I mistook him for O’Keeffe (who has previous for this offence). Well, they both have a ‘7’ on the back of their shirts.

It’s ok tho, cos Crapman has been behind the scenes on ‘Stars in their Eyes’ (look it up, kids) and has come out tonite as something approaching a goalkeeper. He runs out and saves, and together with a few catches and keeping the ball on the pitch in his hoofs, is given the official MOTM. (The Ponty disagree, finally clearing their throats for a couple of ‘Woooah…David McGoldrick’ chants.)

McGoldrick. Honestly, is this the future without POTY Kelly? Cleary marked out of it by 2 opponents, it’s left to McG to take it to Wycombe, going on 2 or 3 runs where he seemingly takes on half their side. Sadly, the only shot he gets off was a cut inside in the first half which curls harmlessly wide. It’s ok though, there’ll be another shot soon. (No there won’t.)

Phillips is generally anonymous, though I notice one of Coach Conor’s tactics is the ball over the top for a Phillips darting run. But the ball is either comfortably headed away, or runs through to the keeper. Banks looks promising early on, but between him and Watson it turns into a sh*tshow defensively. And that’s it from our ‘attacking players’. This includes half an hour of classic invisibility from Bradshaw (on for Banks), though Yoganathan almost offers hope for the last 15 (replacing Phillips). At least you notice Yoganathan, though I’ve yet to decide whether that’s cos he’s 6 foot 4 and has an amazing mop of hair, or cos he’s any good. ‘Better than the rest’ does not mean good. Not tonite.

That leaves 6 (6!) ostensibly defensive-minded players (plus a goalkeeper). And for a time, I started believing the elusive clean sheet would come. MdG first half, and O’Connell the second, looked strong. Certainly stronger than anything else we’ve seen this season. MdG reads the game and when Wycombe put the ball forward, simply steps out from behind the striker, intercepts it, and plays the ball to a red shirt. Imagine. (Sometimes even FORWARD!) Suspend your disbelief. O’Connell meantime made two super blocks to prevent certain Chairboys’ goals. (Beaten by ‘Chairboys’. Can it get any worse?) And the fullbacks won’t be as bad as the first half...will they?

Then there’s the dynamic duo in midfield. Captain Marvel and the GOAT. The GOAT’s PR team appear to be on sabbatical, cos I’m reading quite a few negative comments ‘on socials’ these days. Do these people have no idea? How do you criticize a player who rarely leaves the centre circle, can’t pass a ball forward, and constantly loses his man? The goal is a case in point. Watson has pushed up, marking another Wanderer, while a different wanderer wanders away from Bland and is free down their left. The cross is slightly deflected, which bamboozles Captain Marvel (not difficult) and a 3rd Wanderer lashes it into the top corner from the edge of the box. Otherwise the GOAT’s one attempt at emulating POTY Kelly in running forward and passing the ball ends up with it being overhit for Cleary. (I’m still trying to digest how Kelly has critics for not being able to fire it into the top corner after bursting past several opponents, getting to the edge of their box, then laying it off to a red. Yes, I mean you, P. Waddington.)

Where was I? I’m dizzier than a rascal. Captain Marvel. One advantage of hanging out with Darrell, pre-match (and half-time, and full-time) is that I don’t need to say owt about Luca, Darrell says it for me. And my silence only makes him rant more, as he thinks I’m a fan. It’s beautiful. Tonite, El Capitan is lucky not to give away a penalty as he drags a Chairboy to the floor on the backpost, with half-time looming. It’s funny, but I never hear the Jonesys (Jonesies?) and Farnhams of this world complain about the ref when they fail to give a blatant penalty to the opposition. (Maybe it would have woken Coach Conor up, going into the interval a goal down. Or maybe not.) Otherwise, he does what Connell does. Slows it down, kicks it square, makes no runs (with the ball), hit and hope longballs, gentle dinks for deadballs. If it wasn’t for his pal the GOAT next to him, I’d say he was one of the most limited players I’ve seen since…Herbie Kane? That’s it! He’s just a skinny Herbie Kane. (I’ll work on the exact wording of the chant.)

The pair of them together? CRAP.

Onwards and upwards!

*** Crapman. Top 3 is really tough. I think you could juggle any of McG, MdG, O’Connell and Crapman, in any order whatsoever. But given his trials and tribulations, I’ll give it to Crapman. Didn’t put a hand or foot wrong, and had no chance with the goal.
** McGoldrick. How comes grandad can run, but the whippersnappers CAN’T? Our only hope.
* MdG. Woulda been my MOTM but for a couple of ‘head like a 50 pence piece’ clearances in the 2nd half. But it’s nice to have a footballer at centre half.

Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. McGoldrick 2. MdG 3. Goodman

Despatches:
I read somewhere that we were bound to mess up tonite cos ‘we’d not won 2 games in a row all season’. That’s quite impressive, considering I know we won 3 and drew 1 of our opening 4 games. But we are consistently inconsistent, I’ll give us that. Still, if we win our 3 games in hand...etc etc

As for Lynne describing it as ‘Directionless, Clueless, Rudderless, Spineless...Just like our politicians’...it got me thinking. Would she prefer a centre back partnership of The Donald and Our Nige? Though Putin is a renowned left footer, and Coach Conor prefers a bit of balance in the middle (if not the outer edges of the party...sorry, team). Sadly, whichever Kim is in charge of North Korea this week is unavailable, due to injury. ‘Carrying too much timber’ said a club doctor.

Drink du jour: Vocation Krush Hour at Heaven and Ale.

Away: 194 (8,608). Most remarkable for ‘Barnsley’s a sh*thole, I wanna go home’ chant before we’d even kicked off. They were as quiet as us after that, as befitted our lowest crowd of the season (lge only).

The Damage:
£7 petrol
= £7