BFC 2-1 Peterborough United, Tuesday 17th February 2026

’Shepherd! DEFEND!’

We live to fight another day. Huddersfield have lost and we’re 8 points from a play-off place, 4 games in hand. Why can’t we just lay down and die, instead of giving false hope for another week? Where would we be if we hadn’t chucked away leads at home to Mansfield (2-0), Wimbledon (2-0) and Northampton (2-1)? And that’s just in the last couple of months. Chuck in losing at home to Port Vale (set adrift on memory bliss) and the worst Rovrum team in years and I’m at a loss to see how we’re still in with a minute chance. And with the kitchen fitter still in the team.

Yes, Conor addresses the defensive sitch by...dropping Roberts for O’Connell. Well, it’s a start. And look! A left footed player at left back. Unfortunately, it’s Gent, who is absolutely awful throughout. Did he really cost 200k? I’ve never seen him have a good game. And then there’s Shepherd. I’m tempted to regurgitate the old line about Odejayi after his winner against Chelsea, ‘he’s finally found his level...it’s the Premiership!’ Cos Shepherd was outstanding against Liverpoo, garbage against everybody else. Tonite, he’s left for dead by a forward before Goodman palms the resultant shot into the path of another Posh player. Nil-one, 21 mins in, and we’re on the rack.

O’Keeffe is also beaten down their left and the ball across is miskicked by their player, who’s lost his marker...the kitchen fitter. Goodman saves a one-on-one, while Posh find the Ponty End from a simple chance 10 yards out. Honestly, P’boro should have been out of sight by half-time.

In reply, we’ve had 2 chances. McGoldrick heads over from 6 yards out. Another inch taller and...actually, having seen it on TV, he should have done better. Great cross by O’Keeffe. And we equalize with a quality finish, as Luca cuts inside to curl one into the far corner. Or b) 2 Posh defenders force Luca inside onto the only foot he has. Appalling defending. Don’t Peterboro have scouts? (Maybe they do: ‘You can just let that Connell bloke have a shot, he never does anything.’)

Second half, the game is open, yet chances are at a premium. Neither side has their creative hat on, and Cleary settles it early with a fabulous right footed finish into the far corner. Otherwise, the only entertainment is seeing how bad O’Keeffe and Connell can be at deadballs. And they excel themselves with one, as they take a short one TOGETHER before the inevitable chip to the first defender. Do we still have that set-piece coach who was given all the glory early doors when the likes of DKD was scoring cheeky goals from corners? Cos our deadballs have been crap for about 3 months (and the rest). The best free kick delivery was by some bloke called ‘Banks’...so he wasn’t allowed to have another go.

Gent was dragged after the hour, for a right back (Watson) before the ‘closers’ were sent on, MdG and the GOAT for Phillips and Banks. And as much as I want MdG to do well, first thing he does is let a ball bounce in front of him and put himself in trouble.

Annoyingly, Leyton Orient concede 3 tonite, so although our goals against column has now equalled the previous most-againsters (Donny), we’ve been overtaken (undertaken?) by the eastenders. Come on Shepherd et al – pull yer fingers out!!!!

Onwards and upwards!

*** Connell. I only had to shout at him a couple of times.
** McGoldrick. Class. (Why’ve I got Pulp’s ‘Help the Aged’ earworming me right now?)
* O’Keeffe. Can’t defend (see the Posh chance 1st half) but gets up the field. I’m hard-pushed to say he set up 2 goals, but I think he had the last touch pre-shot.

Official MOTM: Connell

Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. McGoldrick 2. Connell 3. O’Keeffe

Despatches:
Stu came up from Retford. And what better break from your doctoral studies (as in ‘studying to be a doctor’) than a trip to Oakwell for daughter Isabelle? We treated ourselves to the Main Stand, cosier…and virtually empty. Where is everyone tonite? Well, Jonesy is skiing in America and Molly is not skiing in Wombwell, so there’s 2 ST-holders missing. Diane won’t drive from Newcastle in the dark (bless) while 1,000+ others probably have similar excuses. (‘The ice skating is on.’) At least Nozzer turned out. (Well, he turned out to the pub. Where did he disappear to afterwards?)

I thought the atmosphere, dead as it was, was a bit better than normal. Little Drummer Boy was tubthumping, and 50 or so of the Ponty joined in intermittently. Perhaps this is every game, I just can’t hear them above the East Stand chunter? Well, I said it was dead...

Drink du jour: Bini Chairman Miaow NEPA at Heaven and Ale. Beer of the season (so far).

Away: 512 (9,257).

The Damage:
c.£7 petrol
= c.£7

BFC 1-1 Peterborough United, Monday 21st April 2025

‘I wish the commentators would stop saying Barnsley ‘bursting forward’ as we amble slowly into the opposition half.’

It took A. Reed to sum it up best with the above quote from Lanzarote (why ruin your hols watching THIS?) If we attacked with any less gusto we’d be going backwards. But it’s ok, cos Jonesy’s seen some improvement. Arguably so. Humphreys has started looking like an attacker. Jalo has been given a run. So the draws and defeats aren’t quite as boring as they were earlier in the season, but the results are the same. That’s 1 win in 7 for Coach Conor, including home games against such luminaries as Cambridge, Exeter and Posh.

I’m more concerned at the other end. There’s holes all over the place in defence, especially if (when) we lose it in midfield. The midfield? What are they FOR? Tippy-tappying it in triangles, or rectangles, before playing a safe ball back to a defender. It’s no-risk football, which somehow we mess up and find ourselves in a 3 on 3 pickle. Again, and again, and again. It’s a good job this is a friendly and Posh are equally unarsed (is that a word? It is now!)

It didn’t help that I felt like a dog. A very sick dog. Coming up from London, I toyed with the idea of just going home. Perhaps if Sarah hadn’t suggested I give the game a miss, I’d have given the game a miss. ‘But I’ve paid for it.’ Besides, I might miss something. (Not a thought I had, half an hour in, as I stared through the gloom at Reds 0, Posh 1.) And you know what? I DID see something (positive) I’d have missed if I’d took the easy option. Russell’s equaliser, in first half injury time, is a thing of beauty. DKD rolls it backwards with his studs and Russell knows what he’s about to do 5 minutes before he does it, and directs a sumptuous curler into the far top corner from the apex of the penalty area.

Earlier, we’d gone one down to a quick break. Once again our defence seemed overran. Where IS everybody? Why’s there more of them than us? Still, it’s a smart finish from their guy, low into the far corner. Previously, Phillips had had a daisy cutter of his own tipped onto the post. There’s the difference right there. Goalkeepers. Some save them, ours don’t.

Ah, goalkeepers. Coach Conor has rung the changes today. Gauci is in for Falafel. An on-loan player in for a permanent player coming to the end of his contract. I can but deduce that we’re after Gauci and Falafel is on his way (though we could keep him on for about 100 quid/week, I suspect). MdG is back (woo hoo!) and McCarthy has been disappeared. Humphreys is out too, not even on the bench, but given recent performances, surely that’s an injury. And with a wealth of right back talent to call upon, he gives Lambrusco a trot out. Oh, and Cotter gets a start, albeit at left wing back. Cos that’s where you play right backs if you’re Barnsley FC.

We do create the odd chance. I think DKD cleared the bar with a couple of efforts caught on the bounce. But when our best dribbler is a 6 foot 4 midfielder of no pace whatsoever, you’re not going far. (Well, you might go far, but it’ll take you a while to get there.) I spent most of the second half wondering how much injury time there’d be, given that I was going bang on the 90 to get the train. (Spending another hour in the Barnsley drizzle would’ve broken me.) So, naturally, it was about the longest of the season, 10 minutes. Injuries to Jalo (who will rid me of this turbulent injury prone prodigy?) and, bizarrely, the linesman, meant I missed a good portion of the match, yet missed nowt. How does that work?

Hang on in there, the season will soon be done...

Onwards and upwards!

*** Russell. A couple of dribbles and a wonder finish.
** DKD. Below par, but, like Obi Wan Kenobi, ‘you are my only hope’.
* Phillips. Looked promising in fits and starts, a couple of shots.

Official MOTM: No idea. I heard it (I think) but I’ve no idea. Did I tell you I was sick? (It was Russell.)

Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Russell 2. Earl 3= DKD / Roberts

Despatches:
I bumped into Darrell (BARNSLEY’S LOUDEST MAN) at half-time. ‘Connell is the gashest f***ing player I’ve seen in my whole f***ing life.’ It was great to hear such a sweary rant. Not simply cos I agreed with every word he said, but cos he evoked the ghost of Gerry, R.I.P. (‘Robin Ba*tard Van Der F**ing Lard’). One advantage of death is that you don’t have to watch this rubbish any longer. But what if you’re a believer? It must be the very definition of purgatory to be forced to look down and watch Barnsley FC forever.

Back to Connell, though. He took out their player 1st half so cynically he could write for Private Eye. Then the ref gives him a minute before deciding it’s a yellow. (Win-win, either way.) Jalo? The new Benson. Or the old Benson. I can’t remember who started this ‘let’s be forever injured and pick up our pay cheque’ thing 1st. Given their injury woes, I can’t decide if our physios should have their pay DOUBLED (so much work!) or HALVED (whatever they’re doing, it’s not working.) Carried off on a stretcher yesterday after an innocuous challenge...which the ref deemed as a foul BY Jalo. (I’ll leave that one for Jonesy, I’m under qualified to speak on officiating matters.)

Only two games to go...

Xg: 0.64 v 0.7. A classic.

Drink du jour: A flat white in Coffee Boy, feeling very, very sorry for myself.

Away: 653 (11,049). I clocked it at 2 minutes 37 seconds for the 1st round of ‘your support is f***ing s***.’ It is, mind. And for ’11,049’ try ‘7,049’, if that.

The Damage:
£9.50 train
= £9.50

...nearly there...

Peterborough United 1-3 BFC, Sunday 29th December 2024

‘Julie don’t care about me.’

Guess who’s back? Back again. Back again, back again, back again. Yes, all you other Geordie Als are just imitating. Did you miss me? (That’s rhetorical.) Yes, I’m back. No more skylining. No more white water rafting. No more Zorbing. No more swimming in rivers heated by geothermal energy. No more being carted around vineyards by long lost Londontykes (cheers Tickle!) No more watching whales frolicking just outside the harbour. No more worrying about sharks while swimming off deserted sandy beaches. No more being forced to hand over my backpack at the supermarket cos of the rampant shoplifting problem. (They don’t tell you THAT in the guidebook!) No more avoiding the Super Reds with the excuse that a 4am kick-off time just isn’t for me. Yes, cometh the hour, cometh the part time supporter.

I got back Xmas Day, 4 days ahead of my luggage. At a push I could’ve gone to Bolton, but tickets had to be bought by Xmas Eve, and besides, I’m not a fan of out of town characterless stadia, even if they’re down the road from me. I’d much rather drive more than twice as far to London Road. Besides, we always win at Peterboro, right? Which reminds me, I’m only going cos I want to see a Barnsley victory, something that doesn’t happen at Oakwell. This would be my 5th or 6th away victory and I’ve seen us win at Oakwell ONCE. Standard.

Nozzer and I hadn’t got tickets. They went off sale 2 days before the match, despite being online only. (Why?) However, not selling out meant tickets available on the day and who, apart from Paul and I, now possess a souvenir match ticket for the away end? That’ll be worth something one day. If by ‘something’ I mean ‘nowt’. 30 of your finest pounds. (I think it was 25 in advance). But whatthehell? Guaranteed win and all...

Being Johnny Come Latelies, our seats were down near the front. The teams are out. No Nwakali, who everyone is raving about. Surely he’d be in the team if he’s THAT good? POTY Cotter is this week’s left wing back, O’Keefe right and the back 3 is an unfamiliar (to me) Pines, MdG and McCarthy. Connell and Russell are going to tie up centre midfield, while Phillips and DVD will flit around the goalzone with Watters to occupy defenders (if not score). I think that’s the gameplan.

And for 25 minutes it works. We are all over these, and it’s only a matter of time...before we miss. Connell plays Watters clean through, and he has all the time in the world to let the keeper come out, narrow the angle, and deflect over. JUST TAKE IT EARLY MAN, BEFORE THE KEEPER SETS HIMSELF. That said, Watters impresses, unselfish off the ball runs, and holding the ball up for the others. Then someone flicks a switch and it’s all Posh. They have one chance, as Pines messes up and the break ends in a low cross and shot (incredible save from Kilip).

Half time and Londontyke bantz is how we need to haul Cotter for Gent. Apparently Cotter is holding up our attacks, which isn’t the impression we get in the ground. Cotter is just one of 5 players playing possession pentagon over that far side, and if anyone isn’t running into space when he has the ball, it’s Connell. (Let’s not also add the twice he’s played the opposition in with misplaced passes.) Clarke holds his nerve, and Cotter stays on. We and him come out like players possessed.

We are ALL OVER Posh from the outset. Pines arrows one into the corner from 10 yards just after half-time, while minutes later it’s two and this is a PEACH. We have a corner on the far side and we can see what is going to happen before it does. DKD arcs around a crowded box, losing his marker who’s stuck in traffic. We’re obviously up to something and a daisy cutter from O’Keefe is hammered home by Davis Keilor-Dunn-Davis-Keilor, whatever he’s called.

By now, we are so dominant, Clarke decides to give Cosgrove a trot out for Watters and we are waltzing to victory as Clarke lines up more subs. So it came as some surprise when the ref pointed to the spot from a Posh corner. The delivery was going nowhere, so which moron could possibly have ‘given the ref a decision to make’? He’s called McCarthy, and having seen it on telly, I’d say it’s a pen, whatever A. Jones of Sidcup says. Rank stupidity, given how in control we were. 1-2.

Again Clarke holds his nerve. On comes Gent and Nwakali for POTY and Phillips but before they can make a difference, Posh have a man sent off, straight red for a challenge on O’Keefe. Personally, I thought it was a yellow (Darren Ferguson agreed!) but I can see why it was given. From here on we run riot, personified by Jon Russell (who’d received brickbats throughout from the bloke in front) using Cosgrove as the decoy, dropping a shoulder and sidefooting the ball into the corner from 20 yards. Pure class. Cue 10 minutes of ‘it’s just like watching Brazil’ and ‘walking in a Darrell wonderland’. I know, I know. If we’d lost at Bolton and Posh, Clarke would’ve been down the job centre. Happy Xmas, Darrell! Love you!

Onwards and upwards!

*** MdG. Brought the ball out, found players with passes, imperious throughout. (We’ll ignore early doors, when he overran the ball and clattered their player.)
** Cotter. The life and soul of the party. A sublime 15 minutes helped us run away with it.
* Watters. Worked hard, ran the channels, held the ball up and found the cavalry.

Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. MdG 2= Cotter/O’Keefe/Watters

Despatches:
What’s with the latest chant?

I don’t care about Julie
Julie don’t care about me (SLAG!)
All I care about...
Is Barnsley FC

You can argue all you want about some of our minority owner’s decisions, but let’s not polish a turd: it’s blatant misogynistic abuse. The (male) MAJORITY owner doesn’t get this abuse. Why aren’t we abusing the Director Football? Isn’t he in charge of player signings? I might not be a fan of JAQ, but just because she puts her head above the parapet doesn’t mean you have to shoot at it.

More importantly, I have stood Nozzer down from navigational duties. So much for giving my phone with Google Maps on to him. No, not good enough. So he gets his own phone out and, having pootled toward the centre through the Peterborough ‘burbs, we’re now driving OUT of them and heading towards the countryside. ‘Why are we going this way?’ I ask, as we see a sign for Nene Park. ‘This is where they play, isn’t it?’ My God. Some wires appeared to have been crossed. (Didn’t Rushden and Diamonds play at Nene Park?) This is to exclude the times he said ‘I wouldn’t have gone this way’. YOU’RE MEANT TO BE TELLING ME WHICH WAY TO GO! Preferably BEFORE I get to a roundabout, a turning, etc. Anyway, f*** it. Why don’t I just drive into the city centre and take it from there? I’ve been to Posh enough times to know EXACTLY where the ground is. Plan B works a treat. (Sorry Nozzer.)

Oh, and is there a sadder sight than seeing middle aged men in a toilet at a 3rd division football ground imbibing coke? Least, I think it was coke. Could’ve been speed. Anyway, can I have some?

The players? Back to front...

Kilip made that great save, but never came out for corners. I’ve heard of players having a HEAD like a fifty pence piece, but Pines has a foot like one. He specialises in slicing a clearance, then running on to head it clear. Basically, he plays 1-2s with himself. McCarthy looked alright, save for the pen. No worse than Roberts or Earl, who I’ve not missed at all. O’Keefe was excellent, while I’m convinced with every game that passes that Phillips and DKD are the same player. Class acts who go missing but are our best chance of a goal. Russell I didn’t really notice, probably because he was doing the simple things well. Connell improved 2nd half. Oh, and you know when the game is won…cos he gives Aidan Marsh a few minutes.

Drink du jour: A very average pale ale from Charters (the pub on a boat). What happened to the Jaipur I sent Nozzer in to get?

Away: c.1,500. Not far off a sellout.

The Damage:
£30 ent
c.£31 petrol
= £61

BFC 1-3 Peterborough United, Tuesday 15th August 2023

‘A bath just dilutes your filth.’

Do you ever worry about becoming right wing? Cos I do. Labour non-committal on refusing to reverse the Tories’ policy of capping child benefits at 2 kids? Fine by me. Why do my taxes have to subsidise some families popping out kids like there’s no tomorrow (which, by the way, there isn’t)? Then we discussed the relative merits of having a bath. These were innocent, pre-match times, a time before our second half capitulation to Peterborough United. A time I’d like to think of as amongst my happiest last night, as I swigged Clwb Tropica and stroked Wolfie*.

*No, not my pet name for Nozzer.

I found the first half an odd one, much like the Brentford-Spurs game I watched on Sunday. Not much quality, but plenty of opportunities to score. We had at least 4 efforts saved; Russell volleyed one down the throat of the keeper. Cadden drilled a low one through a crowd. Russell had a header on target. And, and…I forget the other one. But I’m 99.9% sure it didn’t involve either of our two hapless forwards, COW (Cole or Watters). Yet still we conceded the best chance of the half...

Russell’s in possession a few yards outside of our box. Was he fouled? Was he looking for it? Views differed, but it allowed the Posh player to thread a pinpoint throughball to the centre forward (the good one? Dunno. Surely Jonson Clarke-Harris buries these?) Anyway, he’s clean through and the keeper’s barely off his line. It’s a simple finish….which Roberts somehow turns around the post. Phew.

The second half was still finding its feet when we opened our account. Right wing back Cotter drills one across the box and the keeper fumbles it in. That must have been a cross? And does Watters get an assist for being the last Reds player to touch it before Cotter? Anyway, great, one nil and more to come. Only ‘more’ misses his train and I don’t think we troubled their keeper again. In the meantime, Roberts pulls off another worldy before somehow (somehow) a Posh player misses an open goal on the back stick, hitting the post from 3 yards. Now I KNOW we’re gonna win this game if that didn’t go in. We’re so confident, we can take our star forwards off just before the 70 minute mark. Within 8 minutes we are losing.

It was my fault. I’d been staring at the scoreboard, one nil, and thinking how once we (comfortably) see out this game, we’ll not have had too bad a start to the season. 2 wins, one draw (we’ll ignore losing at home to lower division opposition in the league cup). 7 pts from 3 games, a home game on Satdy to come. Despite needing two top draw saves and an unmissable miss, I allowed my mind to drift. This has happened hundreds of times over the years and normally I try to snap myself out of it. There is absolutely no point in thinking positively about Barnsley FC’s chances on the football field. Experience tells me that. So I wasn’t surprised in the least when Posh ran up the field and scored.

It started with our left wing back being our furthest man forward, on the high press. Nothing wrong with that. But even schoolboys understand the need to cover their position. We didn’t. As a 15 year old left back, I hated Dave Wayman playing left wing, cos if I ran up the wing with the ball, he’d just cluelessly run along beside me. Far better Phil, or Clemmy, or Geoff, who’d understand to cover. (We went through a lot of left wingers; Clemmy ended up in goal and we won the league minus Wayman, who’d finally been dropped.) So, yes, Cadden was in their half. They proceeded to put a ball down their right wing and there wasn’t a Reds player within 20 yards of their bloke. I think he then ran forward and coolly passed it to another bloke in the middle who stroked it home. (Forgive me if I get any of this wrong, I can’t watch the highlights as our broadband lack of width means Sarah won’t be able to work.)

Still, we have probably 20 minutes to go for a winner. Leading 1-0, we’d forgotten what it was to attack, so it should be an entertaining last quarter. 2 minutes later we are losing. I can’t remember anything about this goal beyond that it was bad, but not as bad as the other two. Then on 85 they completely kill the game. Was it Kitching being robbed in his own penalty area? Whatever, in a game of poorly conceded goals, this is the worst. Aside from one trademark run forward, Kitching played all night like a man not interested in a transfer. He was woeful.

By now the manager had given Phillips his first trot out of the season, but the players looked shellshocked. 3 goals conceded in a little over 10 minutes and now forced to listen to the crowing of the meagre away support. The one crumb of comfort I can think of is this: we lost at home to them last season too, and in neither game has Connell played. I miss Luca. Everybody does.

Onwards and upwards!

*** Cadden. Superb delivery into the box time and time again. Wasted on COW.
** Roberts. At 1 nil, he’d won us the game. Couldn’t do owt about the 3 goals eventually conceded.
* Cotter. Go on then. Him or Jordan Williams, but I’ll give it to Bazza for the goal.

Official MOTM: Cotter

Londontykes’ POTY: 1. Roberts 2. Cadden 3. Cotter

Despatches:
Max Watters. We’re 3 games into a new season and I’m already running out of adjectives to describe how poor he is. I know Chris says he’ll get at least 12, and he probably will – his contract is 3 years. Pre-match, Nozzer’s mate Mark* says Watters will bag at least 15 (fifteen) this season. I said they were innocent times. Later, Nozzer reminds me he’s the Brexit-supporting bloke I shared a car back from Shrewsbury c.2016. So he has form for not knowing anything.

*Nozzer will deny it’s his mate, but let’s just say the twice I’ve met him, it’s been in Nozzer’s company.

Meantime, I think someone said Cole ‘had run his blood to water’. By which I think they meant ‘never got near the ball’. That hattrick against Port Vale looks a lifetime away already. It’s been a week and a half. In defence, Williams looked assured, while the Polish bloke (name to be learnt at some point this season) headed balls away that were straight at his head. Russell and Kane (Russell Kane?) were strangely anonymous in midfield, while Styles looked busy early on before petering out. And Shaw and Dallas (the new SAD?), on up front, ran around like the eager new puppies that they are. All they need is an Andrex toilet roll wrapped around them and they’d be complete. Useless.

Drink du jour: Tiny Rebel Clwb Tropica in Heaven and Ale.

Away: 531. I’m sure the PA said that. Unbelievable. 300 at best.

The Damage:
c.£30 petrol
= c.£30